posted on June 29, 2006 at 9:18 pm

7 20
gee im running late lately
people ask howcome ya get up so early
i dunno
i just do
isnt that a pattern of life
when i was a wee nipper
knee high to a grass hopper
i jumped outta bed at the crack o dawn
then as a teenager n youf
i slept in all day
as a young man i reviled the dawn
and i’d be angry if anyone rang before eleven
now in my twilight years
it seems to behove me to get up nice n early
tap out my foolish blogg
etc etc
yessaday nk says did you see the drunken ant?
sure enuff
a loada ants are up around the cap of the jagermeister
sucking on whatever little crusty stuff they can find there
then a whole bunch staggering around the bottle
and i aint seen em since
i feel sorry for these ants
its cold outside and theyre mopping up in my kitchen
so i aint had the heart to squash em
but anyway
the j meister seems to have slowed em down a little
you can imagine em all staggering back to the queen
queen” what have you brought me, drones???”
ant “well ya shee ya majeshty its like thishhh….”

anyway the ants are all gone
i hope they didnae die of alcoholic poisoning
also i feel bad that some of our german readers
think ive jumped on some rocknroll bandwagon
and started drinkin’ the j meister
as someone said it used to be a drink for grandads
well thats me fiendss
could easily be a grandad
and thats the side of me
enjoying a medicinal nip of an evening
not a billy idle motorbike riding rocker
slurping it down in a l.a. bar

been chucking my cd collection into eye choons
a wearying task
be glad when its over
have not actually “done’ anything yet
since i been home
the thought of that five weeks in the u.s.
making me preternaturally weary
in advance
all those drives n flying
makes me nervous, i can tell ya
so many things to figure out
(how many pairs of socks to take…etc)
im knackered just by thinking of it…
scarlet starting to say dad dad dad
and shes turning out to be quite a drama queen
yessaday as soon as i put her down she started carrying on
seems like she was the queen of sheba in her last life
cos shes gotta bad attitude if everythin’ aint revolvin’ around her
shes got a big head and a big bum
and she had her first go in a high chair yessaday
hardly scintillating stuff is it…?
but thats the thing with babies
no good quoting andre breton or rimbaud to a baby
doesnt matter how cool or educated or hip or whatever
babies dont care
they get angry n sad n ya gotta figger out whats wrong
i say to scarlet
dont lay no boogie woogie on the king of rocknroll
but she doesnt think its funny
she just goes on carrying on
trying to touch my lapptopp even now as i type this to ya
even as we speak
eve and aurora are all caught up in a movie
(or film as we used to say)

called the adventures of shark boy and lava girl
which they watch over n over
and youre not allowed to say aurora hassa crush on sharkboy either
or people start runnin’ around and yellin’

years ago i signed a bad publishing deal
with a greedy crooked swine
20 years later they still ripping me off
so yessaday i tried humanitarian approach
with the company who got me 3rd hand
after greedy crooked swine exited the bizness
this contract is so fucked up
why didnt ya getta lawyer to look at it
i hear yall scream
well, i did
unfortunately it was a lawyer the greedy crooked swine recommended
and guess what?
he was greedy crooked lawyer
cos the deal couldnt have been worse…it was impossible
every clause does the opposite of what it was supposed to do
and they stitched me up for fucking ever
even on pluto
even if i change sex or become a giraffe
they still got me by the ye olde balls
so yessaday i tried humanitarian approach
dear sir
i suffered for 20 years
i got 5 daughters
please let me go…
please….?
pretty please….??!!

i’ll let ya know what happens fiendss
if they dont comply
and im sure they wont
im gonna give ya their email address
and you can petition em for me
with letters like
if you dont let olde sk go
then we the undersigned will think
the music biz is made up of
fat greasy greedy lying smarmy useless bastards
ruthlessly robbing the talent of their dues
while yerselves cant write play or sing
youre parasites on the abilities of others
and you devise legal but immoral ways
of keeping the fairly earned money of yer betters
hiding in bigg corporations
cynically raking in others cash
and figuring out schemes to deprive em of it

signed sks loyal fiend
blah blah blah

i tell ya its true
most of the scum in the bizness are pathetic
the sort you wouldnt speak to twice
if he wasnt holding all the cards n purse strings
i revile em
i think theyre the lowest
and i’ll bite their hands whenever i getta chance
they ARE some good guys
but most are bloodsucking pigs
and
I KID THEE NOT!

anyway
a little bile for brekky, fiendss
im off to the pool to cool down
(it could be under 15…i dont care..bring it on)
surely today is the day
i get some work done
i love ya
sk

48 Responses to “a network of lines that interlace”

  1. avatar
    veleska1970 | 29 June 2006 at 10:36 pm #

    good morning, steve.

    between the tipsy ants, an fussy child and crooked biz swine, sounds like you got a lot on your hands today.

    hey~~i’d be more than happy to petition for you. just let me know who/what/where/when/why/how. geez, i would hope that after two decades they would get off your back!!

  2. avatar
    the dean | 29 June 2006 at 10:38 pm #

    The problem is that the greedy swine are the ones who want to climb the old greasy pole, the rest of us just want to get along and hang with our friends and family.
    Bring on the email addresses of these corporate crims and we’ll mailstorm ’em into releasing you.

  3. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 29 June 2006 at 10:52 pm #

    They release ya or we send them boxes of drunken ants!

    Cecilia MC
    (Meshican Crahkah)

  4. avatar
    CouldBeAnyone | 29 June 2006 at 10:55 pm #

    I could send them a nasty whining three year old and a cranky baby who won’t nap. “Do what SK wants and I’ll take the children away”…

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2006 at 11:10 pm #

    Enjoy the day.

    Love from Melbourne

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2006 at 11:29 pm #

    FREE KILBEY i say
    give us all their email addresses
    and we’ll give them a perfect spamming
    but what i don’t understand is:
    your blog starts with “7 20”
    how do you post it at 7:18?
    anything to do with ye olde j├Ągermeister?
    oh
    did i use up my question now?
    hope not
    cause i’m still thinking about THE question
    the one i NEVER asked
    in ANY interview
    anyway
    i never ever even hinted at anything like a bandwagon
    i always thought you’d call it a tourbus
    at least that’s what it’s called here in germany
    at 1:23 AM
    good night
    manfred

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2006 at 11:45 pm #

    i can explain the +6 minutes difference
    i wrote offline
    but i’ll never understand how you write all your stuff online
    in -2 minutes
    and
    no
    sorry
    that – still – was not THE question
    manfred

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2006 at 11:47 pm #

    don’t be so hard on your good self!
    call it a winter hiatus.
    hibernating and resting and contemplating is what winter is about isn’t it? and the work will flow out when it wants to.
    no force. no coercion.
    trust.

    and good luck with the publishing deal working for you rather than against you – how can they be happy stealing your money? hard to fathom.

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2006 at 11:48 pm #

    SK,

    You will be pleased to know before i ate my cow steak for dinner last night, i actually felt guilty.I Still ate it but i felt guilty and didn’t enjoy it as much as i should.
    I’m blaming you for these thoughts. I reckon i’m the last bloke who could go without meat but i’m thinking of having a crack, probably only last a day or two! Anyway would be interesting to issue a challenge re who could last the longest U no spliff’s v me no meat!

    DR

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2006 at 11:53 pm #

    Ants or Industry Swine. I know who I’d rather grind underfoot. Bring on the email address…

  11. avatar
    Thomas Irvin | 30 June 2006 at 12:07 am #

    There’s good news on the very distant horizon with your publishing deal.

    There’s a little thing called Termination of Transfer in the US Copyright Code. (Sadly, what I’m about to tell you only applies to the US, so it only applies to US royalties.) Termination of Transfer allows the original author of something (that’s you) to tell the people to whom you assigned your copyrighted work “Screw you bastards! I’m takin’ it back!” For works copyrighted after 1/1/78, you can terminate transfer after 35 years. So let’s say we’re talking about something from the Blurred Crusade–that’s 1982, right? You can terminate transfer on that stuff 35 years later–2017. That’s only a little more than a decade away.

    As I said, it only applies to royalties earned in the US, but perhaps other countries have similar provisions; I don’t know.

    You’ll want to talk to a US lawyer familiar with copyright as the time for this approaches. I’m a law student and I’m working for one of the US Performing Right Organizations this summer. If you have any questions, email me at thomas@thomasirvin.com.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 12:26 am #

    Free the kilbey 1!
    Please, please give us the email address. Would be our pleasure (i’m sure). What’s news with new Isidore and Mimesiseseisisisis?
    big love,
    Limecycle

  13. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 30 June 2006 at 12:30 am #

    Steve,
    First of all, I highly recommend contacting Thomas – he’s been my very good friend for 11 years and he is a sweetheart, very bright, resourceful and oh yeah, has great taste in music. ­čÖé

    Beyond that, please, it would give me no greater pleasure to have the email address of the bastard(s) that are doing this to you. This is exactly why I left the music business many eons ago. I am suddenly reminded of the lead singer of an L.A. band called The Nymphs, a woman named Inger Lorre, who was so angry at her A&R guy I believe she peed on his desk. Not really mature, or ladylike; don’t know if it accomplished anything, but that story has stuck with me.

    Also – you’re so good, you don’t even kill drunk ants. The heat here is bringing in the spiders. I hate spiders. I know it’s irrational. Last night I killed two trying to sneak in the front door. But know I did it all the while screaming, “GO WITH GOD!”

    And Steven J. Kilbey, you are NOT in your twilight years. My granmda is 93. SHE is in her twilight years. Well, actually she’s immortal, but that’s a whole other story. Seriously. You are a still a young man! Hey, I think 50 is the new 30, so you’re only in your early 30’s. If so, 40 might be the new 10, so technically I’ll be too young to see you guys in July. I’ll get in somehow. ­čśë

    Keep the email address handy – you have lots o’ peeps on your side waiting to ‘fire’ away on the keyboards.
    love,
    denise
    xxoo

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 12:31 am #

    You can get that movie with 4 pairs of 3D glasses.
    That should ensure a few reruns.

    It’s much cleaner fun than Scratch & Smell Divine movies at the Valhalla ( R.I.P)

    Dutch Pierre

  15. avatar
    Matt Davison | 30 June 2006 at 1:47 am #

    Hey Dutch above me… How are ya, still remembering that fun night in Auckland…(ever heard of that place Stevo???.How are ya

    SK talk to APRA…They will help you, call Mike Chunn here in NZ he has just helped Ironicly a band called Pluto witha similar issue.
    Gd luck Sir K.

  16. avatar
    CSTCoach | 30 June 2006 at 2:18 am #

    Steve,

    I gotta agree with the Queen, above. Twilight years my arse. Dig into Intu-Flow, I’ve seen people over fifty pull off moves that left young guys jaw-to-the-floor. ­čśë

    Regarding the greedy company swine, by all means provide the email address. As Duke of All The Deserts I’ll answer the call, and consider it a Quest. I have a talent for creative revenge, and I hold on like an ol’ dog worrying a bone. Perhaps one day I’ll tell ya how I got back at a noisy videogame playing neighbour in Japan who drove me nuts with his beeping and kept me from sleeping (it involved mosquitos, crazy glue, birdseed, shoe polish… but not all at once – I go for multistage plots that coalesce into a kind of symphony of misery) – but I shouldn’t write it on the open forum… They might still be looking for me…

    On another note, you wrote: “no good quoting andre breton or rimbaud to a baby”

    I’ve tried the latter, and can confirm that it doesn’t work on cats either.

    Seriously though, good luck with the copyright thing. Its fucking robbery that parasites who can’t create themselves are able to bleed dry those who can. It really chafes my ass, and if there’s anything I can do count me in.

    ryan

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 2:50 am #

    dont lay no boogie woogie on the king of rocknroll

    Hilarious Long John!

  18. avatar
    mike a | 30 June 2006 at 2:51 am #

    Drunken ants – what next!!

    I always hate signing anything!! Especially when you have to agree to the terms and the terms are 10 pages long and typed so small you can’t even read it!!

  19. avatar
    daydreamer | 30 June 2006 at 4:37 am #

    Thank you Queen, you just gave me 20 more years of youth. Which comes in real handy at my age!

    Steve, is it you, personally, the greedy slime have ahold of? or The Church? What about your solo/side projects? That’s just evil. Maybe you should change your name to The Chruch and go by Neumann. If that doesn’t work, I’d be happy to spam the bastards.

    love,
    Sandy

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 6:46 am #

    are you in need of a muse?

  21. avatar
    Fandorin | 30 June 2006 at 7:59 am #

    Th├Âse c├Âmments were in no way meant as frowning on your J├Ągermeister Ant Killing Spree. In fact, I did not know that J├Ągermeister and R’nR are indeed counterparts. Whenever I hear the words “J:M:”, my inner eye provides an ancient German pub, that had been there for ├Ąges, in fact, noone really remembers a time it hadnt been there. Three elderly gentlemen are sitting on the old chairs, and noone really remembers having seen them leave or come. A zen like, almost nirvanic silence hovers above the a-greying heads. J├Ągermeister is served. The herbs and the alcohol give the old neurons a small herbal kick. Some long absent potentials cross the nerve nets. Is this a movement? Might as well be the wind….

    Here’s to you (and your new contract).

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 8:13 am #

    Ahhh SK, the joys of record contracts. Reminds me of a merchendising deal i was offered once. When said contract was translated from French to English it said that i’d actually be paying people to buy T-shirts, placemats, T-towels etc etc

    Muchos argumentis and tensionitis followed but you know what, the lawyers and RC bigknobs won and us poor little banjo-wielding entertainers got screwed. We saw it coming, we watched it happen, we could do F-all about it.

    B good people

    Padders

  23. avatar
    Tartrazina | 30 June 2006 at 11:28 am #

    :o)

  24. avatar
    John Garratt | 30 June 2006 at 1:44 pm #

    Steve Kilbey,

    Don’t be humanitarian. They’ve locked you into an unfair contract for over 20 years, being rude and devious is the only thing they understand. I suggest you stop playing fair since they never bothered to be fair with you upfront. Give us their e-mails and go paint a picture of the agent and lawyer rotting in hell. It’ll be therapeutic for you.

    John Garratt

  25. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 30 June 2006 at 2:46 pm #

    Would suggest a press story… Let me know if you need help. Also carrying two excellent dartboard photos of The Manager and The Publisher, would you like me to email them?
    anteriorvella@yahoo.com.au

  26. avatar
    rubikon | 30 June 2006 at 3:13 pm #

    There are lot of barstewards in the Music Biz – that’s one aspect I don’t really miss. I still love playing but I just can’t be bothered with all the bullshit that goes with it anymore.

    By the way, don’t forget to pack plenty of undies, knickers or whatever you call them over in Ozland – you can never have enuff.

  27. avatar
    rubikon | 30 June 2006 at 3:15 pm #

    Oh, and some spare strings.

  28. avatar
    12str | 30 June 2006 at 4:06 pm #

    took a swim in lake v├Ąttern this morning its swedens second largest lake….it was like 13 degrees…in the middle of the summer!!?? i still havent found my dick!! =)

    p

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 5:05 pm #

    12str:
    My symphonies, regarding your dick.
    I have a headache the size of oklahoma.
    Mot
    the
    Nod

  30. avatar
    stealthblue | 30 June 2006 at 7:07 pm #

    Oh, those DRUNKEN ANTS!! Whatever you do, DON’T let them near your stash!!! Who knows what they’ll do next…start playing geetarz, and a paintin’ paintins. Thanks for the laugh, I just kept visualizing these ants going back to face the queen! Anyway, I am sorry to hear about that bad deal with the prick lawlessers… Experts on how to manipulate words (the “law”)to benefit those who cannot think or create for themselves, only exploit others’ talents. Well, they can take some of your money, but NEVER your dignity or priceless individuality. If you do happen to provide an email address like you said, I am sure there are a few of us who would love to harrass them a little ­čśë
    Have a great weekend in yonder beautiful country. It is The Fourth here, which means the Emergency Rooms/Services will be going ape shit, and no body sleeps coz all the freaking bombs and “fire crackers”, and automatic weapons firing off, starting at about hmm…. 7:00 P.M tonight going on steady until about July 10! God, you think you hate fireworks…a good fireworks show’s not that bad, especially under “Bohemian Enhancement Precautions”, but yeah, all those fuckers and their BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, not to mention the risk of some asshole lauching a rocket into your house or rooftop to start a house fire. Well, just thought that might brighten your day, knowing you’re over there, not here hanging out with Uncle Sam. Haven’t talked to the White Widow since Holland, but I know a nice relative I can catch up with a bit. Cheers, Friend. Don’t sweat those evil, greedy, hell-bound nasties.
    Palz,
    Ben V.

  31. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 30 June 2006 at 8:21 pm #

    If ants can carry 50 times their weight, they should be able to handle a lil’ Jager! Drunk ants..that is pretty freakin’ adorable.

  32. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 30 June 2006 at 8:30 pm #

    Oh, and on the subject of “twilight years”..you’re still beautiful, baby : )

  33. avatar
    verdelay | 30 June 2006 at 8:53 pm #

    Squeezing Blood Money from Rock?

    Too hard.

    All those swindlers and worms.

    Even the good guys have their balls in a vice forged from the dirt of Capital.

    I decided to just give it away.

    For coin I work in the Library of Babel.

    Anyone want some of the sweet stuff?

    Take it. It’s yours.

  34. avatar
    eek | 30 June 2006 at 9:49 pm #

    What an awww-inspiring blog, Steve!

    – awww… little drama queen Scarlet getting her daddy wrapped around her tiny little finger

    – awww… Aurora’s non-crush (yeah, right!) on sharkboy

    – awww… the drunken ants (actually that part brought out a large laugh) and that you felt sorry for them and hoped they hadn’t died

    And then there is the arrgghh-inspiring part of the blog: the evil publishing deal. I don’t just want an email addy so I can spam ’em, I want a physical addy so I can pay a visit. I wanna rip their nuts off and cram them down their nasty throats. Arrggh!

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 9:59 pm #

    SK,

    It took me a while but ULTC esp the second half is genius. Your first ‘grower’.

    Funny how I dont listen to old Church nae more. Not that its sh*te like but the new stuff is just ace.

    Just wanted to share.

    Be good.

    JC in Kincumber.

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2006 at 10:42 pm #

    where’s my fix?
    where’s my fix?
    where’s my fix?
    where’s my fix?
    where’s my fix?
    where’s my fix?
    where’s my fix?
    where’s my fix?
    see
    what
    you
    have
    done?

    mixed up in Bali

  37. avatar
    sue cee | 1 July 2006 at 12:01 am #

    Does anyone know any mean bikers/soprano members who could move in with those bastards? Hell, Celine Dion would do!

    PS Holly /eek – apology for swearing at you the other day, which you are under no obligation to accept.

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 July 2006 at 12:15 am #

    You’re such a cutie sk, you’re about to go on a “rock n roll” tour of the U.S., and you’re worried about how many pairs of socks to take!…now that’s rock n roll in the twilight years for ya, ha ha!! But I suppose it does come down to the little comforts in life like clean socks, jocks, itunes, that will keep you sane while you’re away for so long.

    Like krissy said, “you’re still beautiful baby, nobody can take that away” that’s for sure!!

    Take care and love always,
    Amanda P

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 July 2006 at 1:41 am #

    brainey man battelin genetic alteration, he is a writer not a user or loser …..

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 July 2006 at 4:13 am #

    you are you. that’s all it is. and no more.

  41. avatar
    Samosanx | 1 July 2006 at 6:04 am #

    Hesus! that old contract thing…i remember u talkin about that years ago, in that cold balmain studio you used to own…hey I know you probably don’t want to hear this but there might be the possibility of contesting the contract on grounds of coercion, conflict of interest (publisher and lawyer) misrepresentation, LACK OF CONTRACTUAL BENEFIT – ie your demosntrable incurred losses.

    I will sign the petition to whomever it may concern, of course, but maybe think abnout discussing it with Shane Simpson or one of them music laywers (he also supports Arts/Law association in Sydanee.

    anyway, I’m off to read the week I missed…..

    pity the poor ants. Love hearing about Scarlet, and the noodles crushes.
    Soon S will have legs to walk on…won’t that be an event!!! (let alone a lexicon!)

    bring it all on Killer

    xx smsnx

  42. avatar
    public savant | 1 July 2006 at 8:25 am #

    i don’t want to sound condescending in assuming ignorance on your part but the thought of someone else laboriously entering the song titles and artist details of their entire cd collectionet into ITunes (even worse with one finger tyoing) instead of simply clicking on Get Track Names whilst on-line is too much to bear. i estimate that i wasted a cumulative three days of my life doing that until i decided to read the instructions.

    but then i’m sure you’re “across it” as we shiny bums liek to say…

  43. avatar
    juniper | 1 July 2006 at 9:58 am #

    I was once at a party; on the continent….major honchos with a record lable were there…{acquaintance of mine is {was?} a recording artist}…anyway; I witnessed a little chicky who was an acquaintance of a friend go into a back room with one said “honcho”…he was old, bald, fat {that’s rich, coming from me}, and not dashing in any manner….Well….next thing we know, she’s in a pop video, dancing around lypsynchin’ it {it was a cheeezy song, so it was kinda funny}…but I felt bad for the actual singer, who never got to be in the video….Yesh, I have heard some slimey tales of that business….Oh, and the lawyers, too….

  44. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 4 July 2006 at 1:35 am #

    My girls love Shark Boy and Lava Girl.
    A film about turning your dreams into reality.

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