posted on May 6, 2011 at 9:12 pm

jumbo jumble in jungle

in your wildest dreams i am your slave

then seven times you will do my bidding

and seven time return from wherever you are

you said in triumph

from wherever i am ?i asked askance

even from limbo….. you said akimbo

then my body was prepared with some magic

how could i know…… my mind was put to sleep

when i awoke i was out in this world

this world of danger of mischief of time

out in this world i was a lamb unto the slaughter

i was given a name i was given a number

you do this you do that they all said

until one day i realised i was saying that too

fixing the facade for the establishment happy to be a cog

behind the scenes 3 people manipulated my life

the god and the devil and you

not necessarily in that order

and sometimes you align with the god

and sometimes with the devil

with god you protect me from devil

and with the devil you protect me from the god

so when the devil kills me seven times

the god resurrects me the same

each time i return

i come stand before you

you in your guises

you in your darkness

you in your tower that lies to the north

each time i come back i stand at your table

my eyes are so dim

my hands are restrained

the first time you chuckled

i heard that you died

yes i said

i had a growth in my side

then tell me you said what was your death like

oh it was like nothing i said

like in the blackest black dream…..?

like in the deepest dark sleep

like in the most silent night….?

like in the quietest dawn

so you flung me back amongst the living

i was some character

got my brains blown out in a war on drugs

god said its a miracle you never ODed before

devil said it was me keeping our boy alive

you said i dont care about any of that

i want to know of your second death

it was nothingness i suppose i said

it wasnt that bad being nothing…? you asked

no nothing feels nothing i said with a guess

it sure felt like nothing to me at the time

how was it to finally be just a nothing…?

nothing special i admitted with sigh

sent back here a third time i crashed my head

into the side of the zeitgeist one night

my animal spirit perished inside me

without it i quickly succumbed to fatigue

by magic enchanted

by yoga much strengthened

in pleasure and woman and money much weakened

destroyed by pressure of illusory junk

what have you to say for yourself ? you ask

i’m sorry i wasted a life on such things…..

what things do you mean….? you asked almost politely

i mean things that burned me over and over

devil just laughed

i could have told you that he said

god said nothing

he looked at the clouds

arent they beautiful….? he wondered allowed

you rolled me back into number 4

i was a soldier for rocknroll

some bastard on the other side had me electrocuted

i hated your stuff ! said the devil

too good for him but…..said god

too evil for him….said the devil

yes theyre both right youre falling through the cracks you said

i was despatched

then for the fifth time i came again here as a doctor

doing plastic surgeries under the stars

turning back time with a stitch shifting time and pitch

but my hydrofoil ran out of juice on a cliff

oh too bad over the edge of a tumultuous waterfall

oh a sickening feeling i dream of it still

down and over and over and down

you should have seen your face ! you said

the god said my dear you should have seen yours….

the devil said nothing

he puffed on a soul

thought about a lovely glowing abyss

and some bright red she devil with colossal big tits

much better than this world out here damp and no fun

the sixth time i drowned in a bottle

no one could pull me out even tho i called out once

help me i’m going down…!

i heard him said devil

i heard him too said god but he had his free will…

how was your death then drinker ? you asked in mock horror

it was awful…!

i groaned cause it stays with me still

it sickens my heart and it wearies my mind

and my soul full of sorrow my mouthful of lies

ready for seven then you said with delight

oh no and then

i woke up here just now and its right here tonight

the devil said well he’s caught on at last

the god said one thing that boy aint is fast

you said good luck

and then fuck off

into the past

and i wonder what clown

is picking the cast







30 Responses to “a new guinea pig”

  1. avatar
    eekie | 6 May 2011 at 9:29 pm #

    Damn. Never knew dying could be so much fun.
    (OK, it’s probably because it’s not me doing it…)
    Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

    “the god said one thing that boy aint is fast”

    Have to admit I love this line.

  2. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 6 May 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    Only 7 lives, with that precious kitty around I would of guessed for sure that you would have coaxed him out of 1 , yet maybe 2.

    Have a great weekend Steve, any to all…

    Happy Mothers DAY to all the special ladies, and those of you who have no human children but share your love with the Almighty and his many creations…it IS your special day too.

    Darrin K.

  3. avatar
    hellbound heart | 6 May 2011 at 9:41 pm #

    …..went through a time of dreaming that i was falling from a great height…..dreamed it almost every night, woke up with a horrible panic and vertigo each time just as i started the descent in my dream…….
    love always….

  4. avatar
    DavidP | 6 May 2011 at 10:01 pm #

    we are all experiments of the Sun
    the Sun not fully awake yet
    but enough to devise a plan to become so
    7 rays of creation sent out
    7 intra-dimensions made
    7 notes of the musical scale
    7 seas, 7 continents
    7 days of the week
    7 root races
    7 sub races each root race
    7th son of a 7th son
    7 the luckiest number you’ll ever do
    7 x 7 = 49
    4 + 9 = 11
    1 + 1 = 2
    2 = an illusion
    all is one
    divided into 7’s
    from one Sun

    • avatar
      DavidP | 6 May 2011 at 10:17 pm #

      i cant add up can i
      lets see
      4 + 9 = 13
      1 + 3 = 4
      4 = 2 x 2
      2 = an illusion
      but all is one
      divided into 7′s
      from one Sun

      doesnt have quite the same ring

    • avatar
      Narelle | 7 May 2011 at 11:31 am #

      one more to add David…7…don’t give up!!! stay warm…only about 16 weeks…spring…but who’s counting

      • avatar
        DavidP | 7 May 2011 at 9:54 pm #

        7 deadly sins
        snow white’s 7 dwarfs
        7 year itch
        7 major chakras
        7 churches
        7 seals
        loads more 7’s in the bible
        7 archangels
        7 luminaries – moon, mercury, venus, Sun, mars, jupiter, saturn
        7 princes of hell
        7th heaven
        7 wonders of the world
        7 pillars of society
        7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 9 May 2011 at 9:51 am #

          Oh hell i forgot, is 7 swans a swimming, if it is than can they be dressed as Super Model Swans…my wife don’t mind. She undertstands the whole…”ain’t got a chance in hell but you can peak anyways”… mentality. Keeps us all grounded in whats ‘reality’ and whats not.

          Darrin K.

  5. avatar
    Heather daydream | 6 May 2011 at 10:42 pm #

    Is there ice in heaven?

  6. avatar
    Freddie | 6 May 2011 at 11:16 pm #

    Whew, makes me glad I remember nothing about the in-between times. After about the third time, I’d be ready take out the devil, the god and the you character all in one fell swoop! :^)

  7. avatar
    Ess | 6 May 2011 at 11:23 pm #

    a weird serendipity has entered with this blog. As I try to write about past Guinea mayhem I divert from reasoning, need Ganesh to do the thing, and here find a guinea that is a pig. My guinea is definitely a pig, by any other name, or by the dirtiest of names that I wouldn’t give a pig. If I sleep on the image it may merge with paper planes, but I won’t tell the cogs or will be shot down by name and in flames and framed.

  8. avatar
    Karen | 7 May 2011 at 12:10 am #

    its fun reading your stuff

    im picking the cast or the carcass I feelike Ive learned enough Ive had enough &still I know fuckall
    when I was about 15 I thought I knew everything you do,then you get busy with life & kids & X’s ..then in your middle age the old midlifecrisis you realise you know NOTHING & anyone who thinks they know are full of shit

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 May 2011 at 2:03 am #

    which one comes tomorrow? please, dear Sir, tell me. but they both looked back with eyes soft and deploring — they love and will stay forever true. good luck was heard echoed twice as the sun broke through the clouds. you know… that silver lining thing

  10. avatar
    . | 7 May 2011 at 2:09 am #

    the older i get, the more confused i become
    the “devil” is no stranger when “angels” remain aloof
    how we fit into the whole big “plan” is anybody’s guess
    i only know that we’re eternal, conditioned by good and bad
    we cross each other’s path for a number of different reasons
    in unique existences, in an infinite combination of seasons
    godly wisdom is maybe earned by going against our instincts
    or against the dogmatic controls of culture, religion, or traditions
    i thank the time being for suggesting the “what if?”
    it’s very liberating

  11. avatar
    Cecilia | 7 May 2011 at 2:57 am #

    ready for seven then you said with delight
    oh no and then
    i woke up here just now and its right here tonight
    the devil said well he’s caught on at last
    the god said one thing that boy aint is fast
    you said good luck
    and then fuck off
    into the past
    and i wonder what clown
    is picking the cast

    listo para el siete dijiste con delicia
    o no y entonces
    desperté aquí ahora mismo y está aquí esta noche
    el diable dijo bueno por fin lo entiende
    el dios dijo una cosa que le falla a este muchacho es rapidez
    dijiste buena suerte
    y entonces vete a chingar
    en el pasado
    y me pregunto que payaso
    esta seleccionando el reparto

  12. avatar
    Tanya | 7 May 2011 at 6:32 am #

    Jethro Tull
    mainstream media
    black n’ white
    black n’ blue
    preaching to the choir
    near death experience

  13. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 7 May 2011 at 9:26 am #

    Mine…that reoccur often are quite similar to the last scenes in ‘Jacob’s Ladder’ . A brilliant movie that, still to this day, defies logical explanation…but is a hidden treasure that many of these new ‘directors’ happily grift from to toss about their ‘shock factors ‘ as the film(s) conclude. Now days its like blah blah blah thru the movies plot line…what ‘surprise’ do you have in store for us as the credits nearly began to scroll.

    Darrin K.

  14. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 7 May 2011 at 2:54 pm #

    Wow Sara – I am crossing my fingers for you and wishing you the very best of luck !!!

    Darrin K.

  15. avatar
    Kristine | 7 May 2011 at 7:34 pm #

    Seven are the veils of the dancing girl in the harem of IT.

    Seven are the names, and seven are the lamps beside Her bed.

    Seven eunuchs guard Her with drawn swords; No Man may come nigh unto Her.

    In Her wine-cup are seven streams of blood of the Seven Spirits of God.

    Seven are the heads of The Beast whereon She rideth.

    The head of an Angel: the head of a Saint: the head of a Poet: the head of An Adulterous Woman: the head of a Man of Valour: the head of a Satyr: and the head of a Lion-Serpent.

    Seven letters hath Her holiest name; and it is

    This is the Seal upon the Ring that is on the Forefinger of IT: and it is the Seal upon the Tombs of them whom She hath slain.

    Here is Wisdom. Let Him that hath Understanding count the Number of Our Lady; for it is the Number of a Woman; and Her Number is

    An Hundred and Fifty and Six.

    ~ Aleister Crowley

  16. avatar
    Tracey | 7 May 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    your post inspires me to recollect images, flashes and feeling of some othertimes….

    horse riding with 2 male friends in centennial park, 25 years ago. they, being lads broke into a brief gallop as I cantered behind – serenely. at that moment I flashed back to all 3 of us rushing some WW1 line, somewhere in europe, death then blank. the image of them rushing ahead….
    another time was when I was living with a four year old for a bit, baby-sitting one night, her and I. She skips into the loungeroom with a scarf around her head, singing what sounds like a french tune, totally out of the ‘blue’ – I instantly feel like a german soldier and sad and guilty – nothing more after that, except I hug her.
    other flashes not so substainstiable except glimmers of remembrance now and then when I meet certain people…

    ps what you dont answer my questions now?

  17. avatar
    Once | 8 May 2011 at 3:12 am #

    True story – I once underwent past life regression hypnosis, administered by a neighbor who needed a guinea pig (normally there is a fee). Somewhere there exists a videotape of me, sobbing coherently, after which I was given white wine and told not to worry. I was an Amish farmer, with dusty brown boots, who crossed the yard as my small blond daughter in gingham blue swung on a tire suspended from a tree, climbed onto the barn roof, and fell to my death, and wracked by guilt cried over and over, “I didn’t do what I was supposed to!” Further back, I was a movie star. Oh so glam and admired my millions…on a beach with retro swimwear and floppy hat…and full of anger because, “They don’t really KNOW me!” I hated fame. After that, they “woke” me…there ya go folks, how did the footage come out? If I put these two things together…well, I’ll save that for my therapist. You’re welcome. 🙂

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 May 2011 at 3:53 am #


  19. avatar
    ticktockclarice | 8 May 2011 at 10:53 am #

    Wow. Never fails to amaze me, your seemingly endless ability to navigate your imagination through different time zones, ages of man, possible futures and pasts, lives you’ve lived/are transdimensionally living now. it is never anything less than utterly fascinating. Guess yoga makes the mind stretchy as well as the body. You are a true Being of Time. And in one of life’s happy coincidences and continuing the theme of 7, i am exactly 7 months sober today. (sorry to keep harping on it but am still quite amazed and very thankful for it) Guess i won’t be dying that drinker’s death now. Hope it’s not the hydrafoil off the cliff then!! Happy Mother’s Day to all my fellow mums/moms. Enjoy whatever life you’re currently living. Love to all xxx

  20. avatar
    Narelle | 8 May 2011 at 11:34 am #

    A few weeks back had the ‘falling’ conversation at work…a colleague suggested that it was a sign of ‘insecurity’…if thats the case the dream will never end
    what on earth is ‘secure’…zip????
    can you ask your Prof again…curious to know another opinion
    Melbourne is great so fingers crossed you land that grant

  21. avatar
    Cocoamo | 8 May 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    Sometimes your words are otherworldly, hovering like a mist in the early morning.

    But mostly, like in this blog, they just make me laugh. with such references as “some giant red she devil with colossal big tits”. Oh, the mind of a man.

    Got to hand it to you though that you knew how to spell colossal. I wouldn’t have.

    Your friend in Pennsylvania
    (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  22. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 9 May 2011 at 10:19 am #

    So I am watching a bad movie on DVD last night, “The Tourist” and about 30 minutes into it…I pass out…out cold… Drop my water bottle and was half eating a pretzel. My wife , Laura, freaks out and by the time she gets to call 911, I wake up and realize that I passed out. Ok , for some of you coming in half way thru the movie that is “my life”, I have major medical problems and to take large variety of drugs for all types of ‘pain problems’ (this pill makes you smaller and this pill makes you taller…the whole Alice trip). But I have just been to a new doctor who has been ATTEMPTING to help me with my insomnia because of all the different levels and places of ‘pain” , and low and behold he prescribed 25mg of Prazosin nightly. Well, this crap is for prostrate problems (I do not have) but also is for PTSD, which some believe I MAY have. BUT …this drug constricts bloodflow, or I should say MY, arteries, vessels and whatnot. Along with all the pain meds (a total of 7 Flippin pills taken daily) which also contribute to altering my blood-pressure. So my wife cell phones this ass-wipe, (I use that it its nicest meaning as possible) and tears him a new bodily hole to deficate from. And he advises me to , NOW, stop taking the medicine. Like I was going to keep taking something that makes me unconscious at any fuckin moment. Line them all up…Lawyers first, and the bullets you have left…the stupid ass doctors. Or Save some time and money and line them up in a single file- standing right behind each other. Ass followed by ass followed by ass.

    Sorry about the tone, wife thought I was a goner for a second there. So when I see this fuckknuckle Wednesday, whats gonna keep me from knock ing him ‘unconscious’ – I am 6’0 , 230 lbs and tease with the right as I smack with the left.

    Just really angry …sorry again for the tone, wasn’t like I was missing anything from the movie. Just, my wife has had enough scares concerning my medical treatment for many years now.

    AsAlways, ….almost…
    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      DavidP | 9 May 2011 at 4:26 pm #

      always sorry to hear about your health troubles Darrin. I can’t really imagine what it is like but I know it surely is not easy.
      And yes apparently it is 7 swans a swimming, there’s one 7 I missed. They say it refers to the 7 sacraments, there’s another 7 I missed.

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 10 May 2011 at 12:10 am #

        Thanks DavidP …I always enjoy everything you contribute, even some of the stuff that I have no idea what your trying to say/write. But I tag along for the ride anyways. Thanks for caring !!!!!

        Darrin K.

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