posted on December 28, 2006 at 8:51 pm
ok fiendss
im flexing my electoral muscle here…
i been called in as a numbers man…
my good friend zoe mcdonell
needs you to click on this address
and vote for her
so she can win this competition
and the ole time being can bathe in the reflected glow
of her wonderful success
and i’ll be able to say
wow i knew someone who won 1st prize..
course..she probably wont talk to me after she wins it
winners are like that ive found
everyones a winner
everyone loves a winner
every child player must win a prize
and since im not supposed to grin
all we gotta do is win…
low after the winter
loser these vessels are full
drop between drop of moonshine
slipping on the surface of our day
they used to tell us at bully high
that it didnt matter if ya blah blah blah
it was the way you played the blah
but quite patently
they signalled the exact opposite
say what you like …winning counts
i won an aria award once
a long time ago
i didnt turn up n collect the useless thing
if you accept an award then you confer power
on whoevers giving it to you
“i accept this award from you who are entitled to give it”
in this case
the people giving the awards
are a collection of greasy aussie music biz leaches
ex-journalists n talentless parasites
i only accept awards from my peers
and i didnt see my fuckin peers givin any out…
i aint gonna legitimize this crooked music biz scam
perpetuated by useless biznessmen who cant play a note
big fat wineslurping self congratulatory bores
getting their ugly faces in the “trades”
with their latest identikit signing
no thanks boys
i laugh at yer fucking awards n halls of fame
you think youre gonna tame us artistes with a plastic trophy
“aw thanks i hereby give up my integrity
to shake hands with this steak n wine monster
and accept this pathetic token
which means nothing
and is worth zilch”
gee i believe im ranting again
awards night is anathema
how you ever gonna take me seriously
if you see me accepting something from a tuxedoed “straight”
“oh thank you to the wonderful music bizness
for this lovely statuette
designed n made in homebush
out of real plastic
now i dont mind that
i never receive my royalties
now i dont mind that youve thought
of many ingenious ways to withhold my money
and blind me with paragraphs n lawyers
and basically youre living it large
and all us fuckin minstrels are strugglin’…”
i guess im digressing
i do that all the time
being of my peculiar nature
so ok
i abhor awards myself
but this…
this aint an award or a reward
its a prize
and my friend deserves to win it
and goddamn it, commenters
subscribers n patrons
i aint ever asked much of ya before…have i?
but im asking ya now
im coming to ya on my cyber hans n neese
im saying if you love liberty
if you love fairness
if you love a blue sky
and real artists with red artistic blood
and you love our fair country
and you love our waye of life
and fresh air n clean water
then i charge you…
i command you
vote zoe
vote zoe
vote zoe
if she wins
if she can tip some less deserving artist out of number one…
some artists who doesnt even know …ME…(!?)
if she can achieve her destiny of winning this prize
this glittering prize off on a clear day
then i know
we can all sleep safe in our beds
that justice has been done
that youve played your part in changing this world
you stood up n said
bugger it!
im voting for young ms z
and there aint nothin’ the republicans can do about it!
fuck stalin n hitler n genghis khan…my votes for zoe m
how will you be able to face yerself
if some other less deserving artist wins this prize
how will you look yer grandkids in the eye
when they ask ya
grandpa or grandma…
why didnt zoe win?
make it happen fiendss
zoes future
my future
the whole future of art
could be in yer hands
yer trembling hands….
what are ya waiting for?
havent i convinced ya yet?
why are you still reading this…?
yes you
you there
reading this bit instead of voting…
havent you been listening..
dont you want to avert a natural catastrophe…
could zoe not winning this affect global warm-upping
is zoes current 2nd status the reason for increased mid-east tensions?
what kinda world am i leaving to my kidss?
will i be happy if i check into a hotel
and zoes weird fabric art isnt all over my room?
look this about more than just art
its about….
its about…
its about so much that…
im dwarfed and humbled to even…
look the implications are huge
will you yourself gain or profit from zoes win?
just yesterday a lady emailed me
she said i voted for zoe
and i turned around and there was the hope diamond
on my kitchen table…
another man wrote to me and said
ive always wanted to be a doctor
but my grades were lousy
yesterday however i voted for zoe mcdonell
and 1 minute later
the royal college of surgeons offered my a position
operating on peoples brains!!!!
good on yer zoe!!
you see fiendss
you never know till ya try it..
and yer gotta be in it for zoe to win it!
now come sunday
if a certain disappointed artist is knocking on my door
weeping n wailing n gnashing her teeth
saying oh killer oh killer
i did not win…
then just remember
i know some of your addresses
and im gonna send round the cherch roadies to visit
and they dont muck around
knock knock
whos there?
the cherches aussie roadcrew
seems miss zoe lost…
and the killa reckons you should be “sorted out”
(sound of door being kicked in)
y’all know what to do..
do it for justice
do it for the environment
do it for posterity
do it now!
click on the linky

59 Responses to “a vote for zoe is a vote for freedom”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2006 at 8:56 pm #

    someday you’ll be arrested for racketeering


  2. avatar
    John Garratt | 28 December 2006 at 9:05 pm #

    Being from America, my vote doesn’t count.

    Look at my president.


  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2006 at 9:12 pm #

    She got my vote!


  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2006 at 9:50 pm #

    Your quote,

    ‘why are you still reading this…?
    yes you
    you there
    reading this bit instead of voting…
    havent you been listening..’

    FYI i already voted under two emails before reading the blog !!

  5. avatar
    the dean | 28 December 2006 at 9:52 pm #

    alright, already, i’ve voted.

    is that zoe’s work on the cards jlk sends from KH?

  6. avatar
    reflected glow | 28 December 2006 at 9:53 pm #

    Zoe for PM!

  7. avatar
    davidcwelker | 28 December 2006 at 10:00 pm #

    ever considered becoming a campaign manager or campaign writer at least ? you’ve convinced me to vote zoe ! is she from ohio ?

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2006 at 10:00 pm #

    Oh, what a sweet big brother you are sk, helping out your little bro’s sweetheart….did you know we already get hassled with JLK’s emails pushing us to vote for his beloved Z!! But that’s the power of LOVE isn’t it, you do anything for the one you really love….go Zoe!
    Love always,

  9. avatar
    eek | 28 December 2006 at 10:33 pm #

    a little tip…if you have more than one email addy, you can cast a vote with each one. I’ve been voting four times a day for most of the month (I get those KH emails). I love being able to vote early and often. 🙂

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2006 at 10:44 pm #

    Hey Killer..OK you got me I voted capiche.
    Last years xmas blogs were the best. You know when P & P went away and you were stranded at the mercy of ye olde ex dealers. Tell us more man…make us laugh er please

  11. avatar
    davem | 28 December 2006 at 10:52 pm #

    Love you more,

    Dave M

  12. avatar
    veleska1970 | 28 December 2006 at 10:54 pm #

    ok~~i’ve voted. four times under four e-mail addresses. (why so many?? well….it’s easier to just get a new e-mail address than to try to delete all the spam that fills up the box.)

    zoe just HAS to be a sure-fire win. you’ve rallied up the troops, steve, so she just has to. anything else would be criminal!!

  13. avatar
    markm | 28 December 2006 at 10:57 pm #

    completely outta fear of cherch roadies i’m voting for z….i mean, i’ve seen those guys…
    sound of heavy footsteps up the garden path
    ok ok
    i have 2 email addys i’ll vote twice….
    love it when you make me laff sk

  14. avatar
    veleska1970 | 28 December 2006 at 10:57 pm #

    oy~~i just cast another one. i forgot one of my addresses. so that makes 5 from me if i computed correctly.

    (too bad all these addresses are virtual and in cyberspace instead of real and in the 3-dimensional world. then they would be in such prime and exotic places like lake tahoe, hawaii, etc etc)

  15. avatar
    ambnt1 | 28 December 2006 at 11:01 pm #


    If Zoe wins then you send me Solaris CD. Fair?

    Okay, I’ll vote for her.

    Oophoi cee-deeze winging their way to KH HQ. Try not to let dust enshroud this batch, OK? There’s even some live Ashra n’ John Foxx in there, too.


    n.p. John Foxx, “Cathedral Oceans III” (timeless)

  16. avatar
    damien | 28 December 2006 at 11:05 pm #

    I have two email addresses that I have used to vote for Zoe, SK.

    I have also voted at John’s request before today.

    I definitely don’t want to be “sorted out” by any roadies!

    I’ve always admired your stance on the ARIAs, and how you never accepted yours. I remember you describing such awards in an interview once as “a bunch of money-oriented people cheering on other money-oriented people”.

    ’nuff said!

  17. avatar
    lebuaf | 28 December 2006 at 11:10 pm #

    the deed has been done, trigger pulled, vote cast.

  18. avatar
    CSTCoach | 28 December 2006 at 11:33 pm #

    Yessir. Been voting for a couple weeks now, with 3 different addresses.

    Now that the TB’s fiends have been enlisted, this should really kick things up a notch.


  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2006 at 11:40 pm #

    But where can I vote for the cherch roadies? Ah, I had such a crush on Shane S. 🙂

  20. avatar
    Samosanx | 28 December 2006 at 11:48 pm #

    This is the paradigm bl** (still don’t like that cheesy word) Steven. This is the one that really brings a tear to my eye for it is genuine and sweet and upholds rare values that (I hope) we all share.


    Of course zoe will get my clicks (on route 66?)


  21. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 28 December 2006 at 11:57 pm #

    As you know I have been going to Noise
    so that JL Kilbey and Zoe’s true love will prevail

    Vote once a day daily!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2006 at 11:58 pm #

    i’ll vote if jlk puts out another freaky conclusions.


  23. avatar
    shawn_el | 29 December 2006 at 12:11 am #

    Ok SK.
    I voted for your friend Zoe M. I was worried about having to face my grandchildren when they wonder why Zoe M didn’t win. If she wins is she going to share the prize money with us?
    She is really pretty, by the way – I found the link with her picture.

  24. avatar
    fantasticandy | 29 December 2006 at 12:22 am #

    killer,it’s true what you say. i voted for zoe a few days ago,and hey presto! the limited edition danelectro 12 string i craved that was totaly,totaly no longer available,—-i bloody well found one! and at a stupid price to boot! so i say to everyone, get on that karma bandwagon and VOTE,VOTE,VOTE! luv, andy from neptune.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 12:23 am #

    I was reading tim powels page… it says that a USA gig is in the works for sept or october of this next year? THATS GREAT! Ill be there MR. K! You can count on me!
    Oh yeah, i voted for Zoe, and the check engine light now ceases to be on in my car. Thanks Zoe!
    Galveston TX

  26. avatar
    SherrySings | 29 December 2006 at 12:33 am #

    I voted for Zoe twice!

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 12:54 am #

    clicked it and hopefully there was no hanging chad (I’m from Fl you know).

    ed in fl

  28. avatar
    Cameras 4 Eyes | 29 December 2006 at 1:20 am #

    ACK! I’d hate to have to walk past you to the polling station.
    and, who helped you get a link that actually works into yon bloggy?

  29. avatar
    Melquiades | 29 December 2006 at 1:25 am #

    Wow! I placed a vote just an hour ago
    And 5 minutes ago Ed McMahon
    knocked on my door with a $10,000,000 check.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 1:37 am #

    me wanted to vote more than once but they only allow one vote a day…

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 1:38 am #


    this is Zoe, and I am profoundly inspired by the true supporters of creative endevours. Your amazing.

    Thank you. From the heart. And may many miracles seek you upon this request!

    And enjoy your sweet day, Zoe M

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 1:49 am #

    Hey steve, ever hear of Salvia Divinorum?

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 1:50 am #

    I can’t vote for her as you’ve always taught me that the majority vote is just straight, capatilist bullsh%t.

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 3:22 am #

    who the heck is she anyway? are we not just being mindless sheep if we vote cos someone says we should? I know you were tongue in cheek about most of the crap you were banging on about (hope so anyway) but it’s really poor form to spruik for shite like this on your blog-I know, I know, your blog, do watcha want. Bad enough I got emails from kh to vote…

  35. avatar
    restaurant mark | 29 December 2006 at 3:33 am #

    preach on my brother…

  36. avatar
    public savant | 29 December 2006 at 3:41 am #

    so sorry nuncle
    i’ve been trapped in a rest area
    just off the information super-highway
    the house of my mother-in-law
    where there are no connections
    while our own home is ripped asunder
    the builder and his boys
    mainly concerned with where to defecate
    make it clear that their civility
    is a minute by minute proposition
    ah, that most brittle of relationships
    builder vs owner
    tradie vs little old lady
    plumber vs wood duck
    solid plasterer vs christendom
    bricklayer = space poet renaissance man in disguise?
    it is said, nuncle, that the title
    ‘the slow crack’
    was inspired by some dire prognosis
    re: your sydney walls
    i’ve often thought about this
    over many years
    a knack for elevating the banal
    to something more mystical
    rare and to be highly valued
    plus i’ve wondered how you dealt
    with the argy-bargy
    the outright lies
    the sly-dog smart-arsery
    did you have your beard then?
    they would’ve quailed at that
    particularly had you stroked it
    in response to their latest fabrication..
    so if it isn’t bad enough
    to be stuck in this housing estate
    that 1986 forgot
    no hearth on which to spread
    weird santa’s offerings
    to my little bug princesses
    no internet or espresso machine
    on top of all this
    the Man denies me my time being fix
    by casting me out
    til the new year
    yes, i heard it too
    the unmistakable sounds
    of shearing metal and crashing structures
    as the system collapses
    because my department
    is on xmas closedown…
    nuncle without your corrective influence
    i agreed to steer the double decker pram
    through the boxing day sale crowds
    as rendered by Dante Aligheri
    and though i was resigned to serious punishment
    i never expected this 48 hour migraine
    from which i’m only just starting to emerge
    this one had the lot
    some invisible sprite
    that clubbed me viciously
    every time i lifted my head
    it removed my eyeballs
    and played a vigorous round of two-ball
    on the more difficult back nine
    at Saint Lucifer’s
    many times i wondered
    if it’s all a very delayed reaction
    to the horse tranquilliser
    i took a couple of weeks back
    wish i’d known it was ketamine
    and not the innocent old mdma
    indicated on the packaging
    a dinky british lion
    and the reassuring pharmaceutical cleft
    i dropped one at the northcote sc
    which achieved the very opposite
    of the desired effect
    i was disconnected
    from your brilliant and generous performance
    finally summoned from my fugue
    by the ringing alarm
    sorry about this
    but i can’t think of any other words
    the visions of the apocalypse
    suggested by the inspired recasting
    of reptile
    all night your voice was flawless nuncle
    (it can’t be the drugs talking)
    your haircut etc sent 15 years into the aether
    despite such drug disappointment
    2 nights later
    i drop the remaining 2
    at the office unhappy hour
    o dear
    the bucking and morphing
    this strange second language
    proficiency in which
    i never expected of my colleagues
    one fellow prone to lewdness
    an ex-federal cop
    was now a scurrilous faun
    his hooves clattering across the front bar tiles
    as he came at me with touchy hands
    and a winking eye
    i bolted
    or rather floated out of there
    on a wave of disgust
    to another establishment
    where i spent the night observing
    flipping out
    muttering to myself and others
    performing a little procedure
    on the inside of my cheek
    the next morning i surveyed the damage
    a chunk of flesh the size of a 5 cent piece
    presumably digested
    2 more hours i estimate
    i would have been clear through
    to the other side
    to drugs i plan now to say
    maybe not
    am even thinking of saying the same
    to our beloved vino
    our habitual middle-of-the-range sauv blanc
    that we use for purposes no less noble
    than those of your neighbourhood bong fiend
    sprawled on a bean bag in his granny flat
    eating cheezels
    watching kill bill
    and dr phil
    i’m thinking that some of the words
    some of the concepts
    a few of the images
    i’ve misplaced
    sometime during all the veritas
    might sputter back into illumination
    neon and umistakable

    here you and your blog
    have me looking forward
    to a return to work
    and no greater compliment could be paid

    p savant
    occasionally of the nation’s crapital
    but more usually of a place
    not far from melbourne

  37. avatar
    balonymous | 29 December 2006 at 4:11 am #

    dun and Donne. Love, another Fluoridian.

  38. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 29 December 2006 at 4:13 am #

    “aw thanks i hereby give up my integrity
    to shake hands with this steak n wine monster
    and accept this pathetic token
    which means nothing
    and is worth zilch”

    if one
    awards and rejections
    with gratitude and humility,
    it may seem
    to the world
    that they have lost
    their integrity

    but in order to gain true integrity
    one must first learn
    to let go of the need for the
    integrity accolade

  39. avatar
    JJ | 29 December 2006 at 4:57 am #

    I just voted the Zoe Party – start the Art revolution!

    (Hey, here in the U.S. they call it the “Australian Ballot,” I don’t know why?)

  40. avatar
    captainmission | 29 December 2006 at 6:16 am #

    nice work zoe. best wishes, you have my vote 🙂

  41. avatar
    geenunn | 29 December 2006 at 6:20 am #

    let the votes be counted…

  42. avatar
    Melissa | 29 December 2006 at 6:24 am #

    “and im gonna send round the cherch roadies to visit
    and they dont muck around
    knock knock
    whos there?
    the cherches aussie roadcrew
    seems miss zoe lost…”

    ooo, that sounds rather exciting actually 🙂 (nothing cool ever happens in my street).

    But I voted anyway and intend to cast a few more! Zoe’s work is really beautiful, BTW.

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 6:48 am #

    Fish & Chip shop at Balmoral has re-opened. Called “More than just Seafood”. Drove past it yessaday quite a big queue out the front.
    Thought NK might like to know.

    Cross my name off the roll, I have voted.

    See ya,

    ps. Have the twillies seen Paris?

  44. avatar
    Zoe's competition | 29 December 2006 at 6:54 am #

    Dear Steve Kilbey,

    We hereby inform you we are reporting you to the International Blogomatic Integrity Council for abusing your rockstar/Blogstar powers and trying to “fix” a competition. We implore you to cease and desist all further action. Failure to do so will result in future plummeting album sales, being blacklisted from major record labels, and a lifetime of being forced to play as opening act for girlie pop bands. Don’t mess with Zoe’s competition.

    The Enforcers

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 6:58 am #

    anon 2.22 … If you read the small print on that site, there are NO moral obligations. Vote hard, vote fast. Ignore the threats above, their roadies are actually midgets with deep voices.

    Zoe’s arts pretty good (have you seen the beautiful cover and cards in the “Catching Some Z’s” cd?

    Oi, i just got the meaning JLK 🙂

    And Zoe’s practically family – dont be mean, go vote and take down the photographer! And if she wins, as well as safety from rampant roadies, Zoe will also get some extra cash to go towards her work.

  46. avatar
    Todd | 29 December 2006 at 7:30 am #

    Glad you didn’t succumb to the industry hoop-la.
    That’s right- who appointed them judge and jury?

    If more people had this anti-authoritarian approach this whole “lording it over other people” thing would crumble like a pack of cards and we’d all be free men and women.

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 8:05 am #

    hey steve,
    it was easy to vote for zoe- her work is beautiful,



  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 8:37 am #

    sue cee, it’s anon 2.22 here, I did vote for her via the kh email. I just think that having our wise sage spuiking for his life like dippa on a dimmeys and forges ad is a bit tacky.

  49. avatar
    imber | 29 December 2006 at 9:42 am #

    I get the KH emails too.
    So, I’ve been voting.
    Go Zoe!

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 11:51 am #

    anon 2:22: lighten up! this is not a national election.

  51. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 1:17 pm #

    sk you are a funny guy. You should ask Peter Garrett if he needs a speech writer – the Labor Party could use some humour.

  52. avatar
    mike a | 29 December 2006 at 1:32 pm #

    Go Zoe!!

  53. avatar
    Daberhasher | 29 December 2006 at 1:41 pm #

    hex me baybee!!!
    voting again, i am…
    thought it was over
    a few days back…
    musta been high…
    i got all the lovely
    Zoe images that came with
    Catching Some Z’s
    adorning me wee musical enclave…
    moods and layers…


    fixin’ a vote, fuck that…
    it’s a new age, and this
    is digital chivalry…

  54. avatar
    mandn | 29 December 2006 at 2:47 pm #

    Orphues, in case you were wondering, your next
    life has been cemented. You’re coming back as a
    Jewish mother… you’ve got he guilt trip down perfetly. 😉


  55. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 7:12 pm #

    Hi. I want asked and propose the following..



  56. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2006 at 8:04 pm #


  57. avatar
    AFew2Many | 29 December 2006 at 8:08 pm #

    I am a computer programmer and probably what you consider a straight, even if I own every Church cd but don’t hate me, I voted for Zoe!

  58. avatar
    stealthblue | 29 December 2006 at 11:01 pm #

    Consider it done, Kilbo. Hope she wins!! Heck, we all gotta win at something sometime. I was just having a conversation with my wifey about this very sort of thing last night…about how I have been such a cheerleader for a great number of people and, not to feel too sorry for myself, but I guess I was just sort of feeling shitty in that I have sort of lost my ways recently in what I would say is sinking into the realm of “mediocrity”, working my ass off for “the man” with full-on crappy pay and everything, oh, but I do have health insurance ( a necessary trap) and a struggling hand at the American dream…thus not really doing anything involving my true talents and worthy of any sort of award, or ceremony etc. I know, I know…but see, what brought this on is, my wife’s friend is a well-accomplished, spoiled-brat, super model looking, kind of snooty in a bad way, architect who is about to receive her Master’s Degree and is “expecting us” to fly to NYC and “will not forgive us” if we don’t make it out for her graduation to praise her and grovel over her “amazing feat” etc…blah, blah, blah. It will be the same thing when she gets a PhD in something or, you get the picture. Anwyay, I objected to spending our heard-earned cash on this little princess of a woman and help kiss her ass etc, and I kind of made a bigger deal about it all than perhaps I should have, thus making my sweet wife feel slightly uneasy through my self-nullifying behaviour. Yes, I was having kind of having a break down only because I get a little sick of watching everyone else “fly by”, BUT it was only temporary as I am not done yet in my endeavors, and I soon came to realize that I too would be pretty damned happy if people made a big deal over one of my accomplishments etc (like I guess they used to)…for the right reasons. So, I guess I better get busy and make a solo record or something if I have to, for example, instead of relying on an unreliable band etc. What this all comes down to is that I do like cheering people on in their dreams and accomplishments just as people have encouraged me in the past. Plus, it just feels good to see others happy from their deals etc. So, yeah, I hope ZOE WINS!! and if “Anon So and so” doesn’t dig the plug- in…well, you know…I’ll be nice to that person as well. GO FOR IT, ZOE!!

    Much love and respect to you all,

    A mindless (and proud-of-it) sheep! (only for today though ;))

  59. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2006 at 7:31 am #



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