posted on June 1, 2009 at 4:06 am

always some new test
that golden egg
that gift horses mouth
that silver lining
that meal ticket
that loop hole
something niggling you
voices whispering reasons to be unhappy
nothing is ever enough
too much
too little
they are abstractions
they are marks in pencil on a door frame
they are the strangers who rented this house before you
they are the vague faces who will sleep in this room
when you are gone
if nothing means anything anyway
why the anxiety
why the nerves
why the ruining things as usual
i got this old car
and its being driven with the handbrake ON
needlessly
pointlessly
going round and round the circuit du jour
my ears hurt
my eyes ring
the outside world becomes harder to apprehend
blabbermouths n idiots blow it away
namby pambies and brutes all around
the wrong place
the wrong world
the wrong road round
i just wanted…
i just wanted…
i just wanted…
ah i cant remember what i wanted…
i cant remember the joy but i sure remember the pain
i live outta a suitcase
or in some seedy gaffe
i ride in a bus or a van or a cheap modern car
i furtively smoke dope and finger my calluses
i watch the names of the towns go by
i drive and ride and drive and ride
we lurch to a halt in a dive downtown
inside it smells of beer and some sweet aftershave stink
the roadies are all bored
the music is too loud
the crowd clap n go home
i drink some booze n smoke some more dope
LET IT KILL ME THEN
back to my luxury room with its railyard view
and its construction site which starts up at 8
but thats ok by then i’ll be well away
standing at the queue in subway sandwiches to get my veggie delight
and my bottle water thanks and maybe some crisps
in the van we have an argument over what music to listen to
things turn nasty when a c.d. gets reefed out n defenestrated
i have to listen to the same conversation over n over
as the mobile phones in the van pop on n off
the rain glommed onto the windshield like a viscous jelly
great gusts of wind hammer our van
but we argue on n on
into the grey day speeding away across the great plains
and the back steppes
we pull into some graveyard town where they make memorials
we pull out again and try to find the franchises
starbucks muffins crammed down a gullet
more caffeine
more calories
more dull ache in the coccyx
when i get out for a whizz
the floor seems to go on moving
we arrive late
we leave late
we go on late
and we come off late
tomorrow i’ll get woken up early
by a mistaken knock
or a mistaken ring
or by a mistaken world
trying to find me
and then
it will all happen again

35 Responses to “always some new hoop”

  1. avatar
    Jasperina | 1 June 2009 at 5:07 am #

    Ooh yeah baby… the mistaken world. It is that feeling of incongruity most of the time. My daughter has been saying to me lately why can’t you be normal…I say what’s normal? You just gotta go with what’s intuitive… for me that’s the best path. Most of the real world doesn’t play intuitively. It’s just all too hard sometimes to be in that world.

  2. avatar
    steve kilbey | 1 June 2009 at 5:13 am #

    is it normal to not wanna be normal…?
    oh jasperina….i hope so…!
    steverina

  3. avatar
    craig1.618 | 1 June 2009 at 5:21 am #

    i am disappointed that i will not partake

    this time around

    perhaps the last go round

    i had the choice of

    dropping a load of cash

    and traveling to gothic

    where the air is thin

    and see you guys

    traveling to los angelos

    to hang out with some rockstar friends

    or

    traveling to tennessee

    and seeing my best friend

    before he ships off again

    for his 7th tour of mesopotamia

    i chose my friend in country-music-ville

    cause you never know

    if this may be the last time

    you just never know

  4. avatar
    princey | 1 June 2009 at 5:48 am #

    After reading your bio by that guy (that guy that cans some of the best songs you’ve written and made me curse out loud lotsa times about certain stuff whilst reading!)you’re as normal as they come Steverina, NO doubt about it haha
    Love Amanda

  5. avatar
    fantasticandy | 1 June 2009 at 6:14 am #

    iv’e no desire to be ‘normal either.
    steve,
    reading that made my heart sink into my boots……….
    in reality you give so much,
    for disproportionally small reward.
    god bless yer on this trip.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2009 at 6:21 am #

    Wish i could go on tour around the United States. Better than catching the train into the city and going into mu office block. I’de love to get a numb bum sitting in the van watching downtown noweresville USA passing by, smoking dope and going to waffle house. Wish i could stay in new hotels and sit in the still room and take in the new smells and distant sounds. I’d like to play rock n roll in a band that people come out in the cold to see. Smoke dope in the dressing room and drink regional beers. talk to strangers and flirt with all the girls. I’d like to do all those things that you mentioned. Wanna swap places with me?

  7. avatar
    Mother Theresa | 1 June 2009 at 7:45 am #

    Being part of The Church,maketh one delightfully,…………. Abbey normal.;-D XOX

  8. avatar
    iseult | 1 June 2009 at 9:54 am #

    always some new hope

  9. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 1 June 2009 at 11:48 am #

    why would anybody want to be normal?????
    shit, i hope your us tour isn’t like you’ve described today, eurgh…

    love always…

    ps…read somewhere that statistically you’re more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a spider….food for thought there….

  10. avatar
    veleska1970 | 1 June 2009 at 11:55 am #

    ah, touring. it will soon be that time again.

    the thing that i’ve learned about being “normal” is that there is no such thing. we are all individuals and we do what we feel is right. it’s all very complicated.

  11. avatar
    veleska1970 | 1 June 2009 at 11:56 am #

    well said, andy.

  12. avatar
    ronbonham | 1 June 2009 at 1:13 pm #

    Man, you haven’t hit the road yet..

    guess you’re looking foward to it?

    Mercury has gone direct and I am

    hoping that the creeping malaise

    will f*ck right off with it too…

    ARrrrrggg, it was not a good week

    for me and reads like it was not

    for you either. Sometimes the stars

    and cosmos are aligined against us.

    All we can do is ride it out and

    hope this week will be better. I

    know for me that the next week will

    be one for the books, two Church

    shows in two days! It don’t get any

    better than that. And getting to

    hear Hotel Womb and NSEW in the

    town in which they were written in

    and about, LA. And having HW be the

    last song I ever getta see you cats

    play, damn I am getting choked up

    thinking about it!! If this IS it,

    the last time, I thank you and your

    band for all of the music and all

    the miles you put on yer body, I

    could never re-pay you in money.

    The isn’t enough in the world to do

    that…

    See you next week

  13. avatar
    Freddie | 1 June 2009 at 1:36 pm #

    Ah Steven, is it because you feel like you’re not reaching anyone except for the same ol’ crowd?
    Even in front of the same crowd; those who’ve always loved you,
    you continue to show us things.
    But I think you’re getting tired.
    You’re beginning to question the benefit in these extended trips.
    Deep down maybe you never really enjoyed them that much at all?
    It’s difficult to leave the warm secure comfort of your lil’ nest.
    Still like everyone else,
    you do what ya gotta do
    and I read your blog some during your last American tour
    and you seemed in a better frame of mind then.
    You were doing yoga and Tai Chi in your room(s)
    and blogging about the shows in the different cities,
    sure you complained about the food (or lack thereof)
    and the arguments but overall you were happier I think.
    Perhaps once you get here and start the actual tour you’ll chin up.
    Sometimes I find that I dread things awfully but when I’m actually in the process of doing,
    things are not as bad as I anticipated.
    A lot of people here are so excited that y’all are coming.
    And I’ve heard rumor that this could be the last time.
    Please, please make it a good one.
    Love, strength and peace to you.

    Freddie

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2009 at 1:36 pm #

    how do you deal with a stupid step child??? Help…does anyone have any advice???

  15. avatar
    Shawn El | 1 June 2009 at 1:54 pm #

    Wow…happy days are here again. See you in Philadelphia.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2009 at 2:14 pm #

    Oh Isolde

    Is a new hope enough?

    B.Bon

  17. avatar
    CSTCoach | 1 June 2009 at 3:11 pm #

    don’t know how you guys handle the drudge aspects of such grinding tours, year after year. it must really knock the shit outta ya.

    grateful that you choose to do it, though. And hey, there must be some reward?

  18. avatar
    John Garratt | 1 June 2009 at 3:18 pm #

    Wait, did all this stuff happen today? Where are you?

    Eek, June did not nap for the rest of the day. Groannnn…

    John

  19. avatar
    jimbob | 1 June 2009 at 3:25 pm #

    Your stuff’s not bad, dude. Ever tried writin poemtry?

  20. avatar
    Cee | 1 June 2009 at 3:43 pm #

    tomorrow i’ll get woken up early
    by a mistaken knock
    or a mistaken ring
    or by a mistaken world
    trying to find me
    and then
    it will all happen again

    mañana me despertaran temprano
    por medio de un toque equivocado
    o un timbre equivocado
    o un mundo equivocado
    tratando de encontrarme
    y entonces
    sucederá de nuevo

  21. avatar
    sanfoin | 1 June 2009 at 3:56 pm #

    Burn a bong, get it on, burn a bong . . . :>}

    You should get an mp3 player with your own earbuds, stuff 'em in, then turn it up so you can't hear nothin' n' no-one.

    On a camping trip w/ me son last week I couldn't sleep because of all the infernal noise around our campsite; but along came my music player, and the Alan Parsons Project, to lull me into a peaceful slumber.

  22. avatar
    matthew | 1 June 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    Enjoyed that potential/portentous travelog! & you quoted "the wrong road round" which of course triggered a long-overdue replay here of Liberty Belle…" Well I think the US tour will be brilliant, going by the Sydney show I saw. Take it easy SK.

  23. avatar
    frank | 1 June 2009 at 5:09 pm #

    I once wished I was normal…had a normal job instead of playing out at bars 4 nights a week
    ….always up late
    ….always working on the weekends
    I got my wish and man was it boring.

    You guys are a great band and you deserve better then the hand that you’ve been dealt. Carry on because you’re still in the game.

    I truly believe that people are waking up again, especially us over 50’s folk who can’t listen to Rap and Pop Tarts and homogenized crap. New music by old friends is a good way to go.

    The place you are playing in Foxboro Massachusetts is a real nice theater. It is part of the New England Patriots Sports Complex and like a big movie theater with a bar.

    On a different note you guys should get some Celestial Seasonings Chamomile Tea for your throats on the road. You mix it with honey brew it real strong. I couldn’t talk once or sing for three months, nothing the doctors gave me worked, some witches gave me this chamomile and honey in a spray bottle (atomizer) and 3 days later my voice was like new.

    Not saying you need it but in case you do. Ok I’ll shut up now. See you in Foxboro.

  24. avatar
    davem | 1 June 2009 at 5:18 pm #

    How depressing that wherever you are in the world the sandwich is still the same.
    I hope the tour is a great success, raises the profile and earns you all some ££££££’s.
    You deserve it.

  25. avatar
    knot | 1 June 2009 at 7:14 pm #

    the mistaken world will keep trying every door til it finds the right one.

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2009 at 7:17 pm #

    Get stoned n’tour.

  27. avatar
    restaurant mark | 1 June 2009 at 8:35 pm #

    hello steve…everyone.
    been reading every day, just no time to comment. new baby…my family here…good times. loved the disinformer blog steve…very much. got inside me.

    i couldn’t be what’s perceived as normal if i tried. wouldn’t even try really. i like my version of normal just fine…it’s the only way i know how to be…

    take care everyone
    mark

  28. avatar
    eek | 1 June 2009 at 9:21 pm #

    It’s now just close enough to my Church excursion that I’m wondering why in the hell I ever wanted do this trip in the first place. It’s true, it’s a total pain in the ass (or arse, depending on where you live) and for me it’s just for pleasure not my job, so if I really hate it I can just stop and go home. Well…you could too, if you really want…just not until AFTER the NH show! You can be all grumpy and cranky until the Pittsburgh show too, but not from Pittsburgh to Londonderry. 🙂

    I think most of us realise touring is boring and quite a grind for you — we do appreciate it. Hope the good far outweighs the bad this time around.

    As for being normal — I am normal. It’s just that everyone else is insane. 😉

  29. avatar
    into the fire | 2 June 2009 at 12:01 am #

    no fancy
    talk no
    bull shit
    tonight no
    clever word
    rhyme to
    expose more
    genius for
    self scrutiny
    just into
    the fire
    where we
    all began

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2009 at 12:14 am #

    It sounds so glamourous…

    You are brave to take this risk with your
    happiness
    put in the hands of the poofs and brutes
    (I am indeed not homo fobic)
    Just dont get much out of
    being around poofs and brutes.

    At lease you know that at some point it will end
    and your only moving through
    not staying

    You should have your own vehicle
    mister

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2009 at 3:10 am #

    …the eyes of a cloud

  32. avatar
    Mary | 2 June 2009 at 3:34 am #

    i think getting stoned is normal to me, but thats my opinion, everyone is normal in there own way, there is no such thing as normal to everyone, i think there is normal to each individual person, am i making sense? maybe i just need to take another hit lol. ill make more sense then. 🙂

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2009 at 5:32 am #

    the moments in between may be humdrum but the brief moments on stage make a life long impact on the people in the crowd. I’m sure you know this Steve but this is a fucking monumental month for fans of the amazing band you front. Fuck work, fuck the humdrum here, I’m going to catch every damn show up the west coast!

    JF

  34. avatar
    EDD | 2 June 2009 at 7:31 pm #

    “Paint me the places you have seen…”

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 June 2009 at 6:08 pm #

    Just a quick note: My name is Patrick Woodcock – I am a Canadian poet currently finishing a book in Iraq – due to days of forced boredom with internet access, I finally convinced a friend of mine to put an old video of me bringing the brilliant poet Irving Layton a bottle of wine. The soundtrack is a combination of Layton samples and the bloody wonderful Church instrumental – Happy Hunting Ground – I hope some of you enjoy it – just you tube – Irving Layton, wine, patrick woodcock. Lastly, it was through listening to The Church when I was 16 that I began to believe in, and explore, literature – I owe them all a great deal. Thanks.


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.