posted on March 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm

phrygian archer

rented a dvd of the odyssey made circa 1997

watched it with the girls

aurora in particular going thru an acute ancient greek phase

anyway here are a few thoughts

it was 2 part tv mini series originally


the minuses

there was no siren scene

c’mon guys thats like alice without the white rabbit

its like narnia without the white witch

its like the bible without goliath

i dunno what were they thinking….?

2. no land of the lotus eaters no cattle of the sungod

3 the sea monster which eats laocoon is simply silly

4 poseidon appears as a corny face in a wave

and has a dopey reverbed hollywood voice

5 the north wind god with the brooklyn accent

however the pluses easily outweigh the minuses for sure

armand assante is a very good odysseus

noble brave and handsome

sometimes looking very battered and humbled

at other times regal and very hawk-like

a sterling performance that you will enjoy

one can see why the ladies all woulda fancied him

you can see why his men would have been devoted

the depictions of his time with circe and calypso are feverish dreams

in circes palace odysseus n the boys lie around

eating grapes peeled for them by a bunch of saucy supernatural handmaidens

so out of it on hedonism they dont notice the years flying past

its a pretty far out scene and a shame odysseus had to drag those guys outta there

merely to get eaten up by various sea monsters

when they coulda still been there now

drinking wine and taking a bath with some ever youthful immortal bint

so off their trolleys that months pass like moments

and moments like months

look sign me up for this and dont bother waking me out of it either

i can think of worse ways to spend an eternity

anyway circe is a real fruity fruitcake of a witch

when the big O does not succumb to her tricks

she realises how sexy our hero is

and drags him off to some very kinky witchy nooky

vanessa williams as calypso is a different kettle of fish

a divine sea nymph horny as all hell

but unlike circe who was just using our hero for kicks

calypso falls hard for our dude

by this time odysseus has lost his crew

hes washed up on an island inhabited by calypso n her girl posse

another bunch of pseudo egyptian mute cuties who giggle n coo

as they watch odysseus and calypso get it on in the old cave

odysseus gets sucked in again (ooh mr humphries…!)

and spends more long years wrapped up in some pleasurable ennui

dancing around with the nymphs banging the drum and calypso

she washes him in the lovely sea pools on her island

like a holiday resort in a modesty blaise movie

eventually hermes shows up n calypso watches our hero leave

with palpable emotion


hermes is kinda nifty as a super gorgeous gay god

all golden smirking and supercilious

he hangs in the air with his golden nappy thingy

i kept thinking he would burst into a jobriath song


even after calypso offers him eternal days of sex n drugs n rocknroll

he turns em all down n leaves for home

now at home greta scacchi is his wife besieged by a bunch of suitors

lead by the very evil cunning handsomely wicked eric roberts

you just know all these nasty types gonna end up on odysseus’ bad side

and of course eric gets it last of all

this is an amazing scene and old oddy gives it to em good

hes pretty self righteous however for a dude who just spent a decade

having fun with a couple of hot immortal strumpets on pleasure islands

but there ya go a nice double standard

eventually reunited with his queen

all is well in ithaca

and everybody here agrees a good time was had by all


sorta recommended ….


46 Responses to “an other odder sea”

  1. avatar
    . | 7 March 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    no lotus eaters?

    i don’t remember this particular film
    but i’ll check it out to view another realm


  2. avatar
    DavidP | 7 March 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    yeah, I watched that one on youtube sometime about 6 months ago
    it was ok I guess
    i look at it more as allegory than a swashbuckling romp
    all the trials and tribulations
    the illusions, the wrong turns,
    yet, he keeps going,
    some realisations and divine assistance
    he keeps coming back to the goal
    he persists, he endures, overcomes adversity
    and eventually triumphs
    hope that Odysseus audio book cd has been of some use at chez Kilbey

  3. avatar
    dapper dan | 7 March 2011 at 9:52 pm #

    might be time to rent ‘o brother where art thou?’
    very funny, great songs
    and you get to hear the sirens play

    • avatar
      Lara | 8 March 2011 at 3:56 am #

      Couldn’t agree more. A wicked smart riff on the old poem. And get that daughter of yours some medieval literature. We need more acolytes.

    • avatar
      Freddie | 8 March 2011 at 5:30 am #

      I absolutely love that movie!

  4. avatar
    Donna | 7 March 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    Sounds like a good movie. I’m sure I would like it for Armande Ante alone. I used to tell my husband he looked like A.A….yeah, I’m stretching it a little there, but….

    In Dante’s poem The Inferno, there is a part in Hell reserved for the poets and philosophers, because they did not know Christ in their lifetime. There is no punishment for them, and their portion is filled with the light of human reason. Homer is recognized as the greatest one there. On the other hand, Dante consigns Odysseus to one of the lowest places in Hell, because he was sly, deceitful and avoided his duties. He was seen as a hero to the Greeks, but the Romans thought he was dispiccable. I guess the Romans saw the double standard, too. Ciao!!

  5. avatar
    andy | 7 March 2011 at 11:21 pm #

    smirking like a good’un after reading that!

  6. avatar
    Georgia | 8 March 2011 at 1:27 am #


    You need to have an Ancient Greek Film Festival-
    Include Kirk Douglas’ Ulysses…campy but classic….

    Is she reading Ovid yet?

  7. avatar
    queenhatshepsut | 8 March 2011 at 5:10 am #

    All of a sudden I thought, why do people peel grapes? I eat them just fine with the skin on.

    This is how my minds works. Always on food. ; )
    Denise xxoo

    • avatar
      Aida | 8 March 2011 at 8:14 am #

      Seems like a lot of trouble to go to considering how small a single grape is. Although, I remember grapes being peeled so that they felt like eyeballs during the Halloween Feel Box game when I was a child…that was pretty neat!

  8. avatar
    Stephen | 8 March 2011 at 5:21 am #

    you say strumpet[s]…someone else talks about lotus eaters///one was a good song (by ‘my life story’…very 80s but has a few good bits: and the other had a good song (‘the first picure of you’).

    little things that make me smile all along the telgraph mile (yeah, i even used to likesome dire straits songs)

    BUT current fave: apothecary love by low anthem…even got ma moum singing along!!!

  9. avatar
    Freddie | 8 March 2011 at 5:29 am #

    I enjoyed you review. Yeah, I think Iโ€™m gonna have to find this one now and watch it. Not too long ago, I finally read the Odyssey. Donโ€™t know how I ended up this long without reading the real thing but I loved it. :^)

  10. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 8 March 2011 at 5:56 am #

    you must be tired and bored like me watching old movies, I keep on hearing this song on the radio, it goes like this “put in your head that Hollywood is dead”, Jonny Hollywood is not dead, he is in limbo, he is your back door man, his movies take forever to film, why he has to wait till the end of days is beyond belief but that’s how it happens living life by the drop, maybe the church could come up with a new Hollywood song just for me ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. avatar
    Andreas | 8 March 2011 at 6:01 am #

    Hi SK, I have not seen it, will try to check it out. I didn’t like Troy- Homer’s original is much better…

  12. avatar
    scott | 8 March 2011 at 7:09 am #

    Hey Steve I invite you to take a less western literal reading of mythology. Follow your bliss…

  13. avatar
    Once | 8 March 2011 at 8:28 am #

    I know nothing about The Odyssey; not surprising, as I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time reading the other SK (Mr. King), assorted chick lit novels and self help books, with only a smattering of “real literature” here and there. (Yes, I can feel the collective cringe from your more discerning readers; I offer no excuses). This sounds like a worthy film. And it is also glaringly apparent that I need to expand my literary horizons.

    As I shall have a bit of time on my hands over the next few weeks, would you mind recommending a few works to help alleviate my ignorance? I’m sure that the list of said works is long and winding; so perhaps narrowed down to a few selections that you can’t possibly imagine having not read?

    I would be most grateful. The next King novel isn’t out till November.


  14. avatar
    princey | 8 March 2011 at 8:51 am #

    Sounds interesting, but I have to admit I’m a sucker for the 60’s production of these classic Ancient stories (like Georgia mentioned). The actors seemed more believable to me, the men looked rougher’n’rugged and the women more beautiful and they were not too concerned with over-the-top computer graphics like todays remakes of the classic films. But I love your funny reviews sk, “he hangs in there with his golden nappy thingy” haha!!! And YES, I can imagine you livin’ that life, 100%!!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Love Diamanda

  15. avatar
    plumlady | 8 March 2011 at 9:02 am #

    Thanks for reminding to watch this again; I remembered it fondly. Sure does sound like a good way to spend eternity…..isn’t that sorta like the life you’re already living!

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 March 2011 at 10:33 am #

    And yet another profession…Movie Critic. That was a great review and while I was reading it, I re-read certain parts over and over and glanced back up at todays pic. And hell, if it didn’t look like you were enjoying yourself as you broke down the people, places, and plots of this flick. It improves my everyday mood when I witness others having some fun. Sadly, though I got a text message from Ben (stealthblue) and he is not doing so well and re-injured his back on the ice at his house. I have’t talked to him in a couple weeks and he seemed really down, I did my best to lift his spirits as I was coming back from a fucking lousy appointment with an arrogant asswipe doctor for MY back (dude wants to cut me open and …explore, correct what-if anything- he can and set my life up as repeated spine operations…don’t think so jagbag, no experimenting on this bag of tired-broken bones). He, Ben, was working hard on getting his band back off the ground and that now has veered off course, not of his doing though. He is very passionate about his, and foe that matter, all music.

    I met Ben through your original blog site back in early 1996. And have you to thank for bringing two like minded individuals together on one plane. His physical disabilities mirror my own and along with his wife and my son, the four of us attended the recent Park West show (and 3 other past Church tours). I’m worried about him, as he worries about me.

    I also have you to thank for my early stages of a friendship with Andy. I am intrigued with his current band (The Failed). And I am looking forward to hearing more of his music, I hope you were able to listen to his work and TO ALL THE READERS : I am not yanking any chains. Andy’s music is very solid and I suggest as many people as possible to try and reach out to to him and his creation(s). This era we live in has lost the ability to communicate, but since we do have instant access to each other, and the workings of many, it does have some positive residual effect. SO…CHECK THEM OUT !!!

    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 9 March 2011 at 12:56 am #

      I messed up on logging in…this above comment is actually me. Not me evil doppleganger as some people may had suggested or radically thought.

      Darrin K.

  17. avatar
    queenhatshepsut | 8 March 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    Darrin’s comments reminded me how the Church has not only given us brilliant music and beautiful photos to gaze upon (crow’s feet included!) but friendships as well. I have two very, very good friends I’ve known for over a decade thanks to the Church. Musicians, writers, artists, movie critics, matchmakers, friend dealers, ah so many hats to wear at once…!
    Denise xxoo

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 9 March 2011 at 12:57 am #

      Thanks Denise…now set the table as + one, because your cordially invited.

      Darrin K.

  18. avatar
    Steven Krut | 8 March 2011 at 12:46 pm #

    sorta recommended? Now there’s an endorsement. ๐Ÿ™‚

    “so out of it on hedonism they dont notice the years flying past
    its a pretty far out scene and a shame odysseus had to drag those guys outta there
    merely to get eaten up by various sea monsters
    when they coulda still been there now
    drinking wine and taking a bath with some ever youthful immortal bint”

    That basically describes my college years, which I managed to stretch out to take up most of my twenties. I listened to The Church even then. Unfortunately, getting eaten up by sea monsters is the fate that greets us all.

    You’re good at movie reviews.

  19. avatar
    Cocoamo | 8 March 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    Have you seen Iphigeneia? Agamemnon is asked, to appease the Goddess Artemis, to sacrifice his favorite daughter Iphigeneia (which will require her being burned alive on the alter). All this to make the wind blow so their sailing ships can go retreive Helen of Troy.

    Anyway, this movie will inspire some interesting discussion in the Kilbey house, I am sure. Will Agamemnon, (and should he?) sacrifice his beloved and beautiful 13-year-old daughter?

    Incidentally, the actress playing Iphigeneia is spellbindingly lovely – looks like a Greek statue come to life. In Greek, filmed in Greece with English subtitles.

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania
    (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  20. avatar
    Belfrank | 8 March 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    You’re a better than I if you can sit the whole of any movie with Vanessa Williams in it. Rather you than me. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  21. avatar
    Crasher | 8 March 2011 at 3:25 pm #

    Echo dapper dan;oh brother where art thou is a great take on the odyssey.As well as the sirens, there’s John Goodman as cyclops.
    Thought I might share a short letter to the editor in today’s Age newspaper..If Gaddafi’s only a Colonel;why doesn’t a General sack (i.e. fire) him?

  22. avatar
    pernath | 8 March 2011 at 9:46 pm #

    I want that audiobook. “The strange adventures of Steve Kilbey. 3000 years of world literature told by SK”. Yes, the 80 DVD edition in the morocco leather case.

  23. avatar
    Tanya | 9 March 2011 at 2:27 am #

    Add another to your list of talents – Movie critic! Excellent summary! But no movie compares to our imaginations.

  24. avatar
    Joe Gibson | 9 March 2011 at 3:41 am #

    This was so funny. I really need to see this!
    Steve, have you seen fellini satyricon?
    It’s ancient Rome, not Greece, but it is very very entertaining.

  25. avatar
    hopfiend | 9 March 2011 at 3:58 am #

    I’m curious if people read Homer in translation or in Greek. Do you have a translation you prefer? I’ve read translations by Richmond Lattimore and T.E. Lawrence (aka Lawrence of Arabia). Lattimore’s is truer to Homer, according to himself and other scholars. I set out a few years ago to learn Attic Greek with the sole intention of reading the Odyssey in it’s poetic original. I can muddle through the first few verses, and then I’m lost. I haven’t had much time to study lately. If you’re curious how the epic might have sounded as told by an itinerant poet in ancient Athens, a fellow named Christian Pecaut has posted a recording of the first book or two at:

    • avatar
      Reader | 10 March 2011 at 1:21 am #

      I donโ€™t have time to learn Greek! ๐Ÿ™‚
      I admit, knowing that The Odyssey is a translation from so long ago is in a large part, what kept me away from reading this classic. But I finally read the translation by Robert Fagles and it is very easy to understand. I donโ€™t know how it stacks up against the other translations but I enjoyed it.

      • avatar
        Lara | 10 March 2011 at 7:38 am #

        I think Fagles is the best choice. Lattimore is hailed as most accurate, but it’s leaden and not much fun to read. Fitzgerald is a little too loopy for me. Hackett Press, which tends to put out really good work, published another translation a few years ago, but I haven’t seen it. Plus, the Fagles comes with an intro by the classicist Bernard Knox, who is superb. For scholarship, I like The Masters of Truth in Archaic Greece by Marcel Detienne (Zone Books).

        • avatar
          thetimebeing | 10 March 2011 at 7:55 am #

          mine was e.v. rieu and i highly recommend it!
          translations are important
          i bought a flowers of evil by baudelaire once
          and it was the worst thing

  26. avatar
    davem | 9 March 2011 at 5:20 am #

    I might watch it for the golden nappy bits…

  27. avatar
    Once | 9 March 2011 at 6:27 am #

    Ok, I got The Iliad and The Odyssey (took a whole 15 seconds using the Kindle)…wondering why, with the lit classes I took in school, this wasn’t required reading. I only recall ‘The Heart of Darkness’ and ‘Crime and Punishment’. That’s rather sad. Help thyself.

    I also really enjoyed the movie review, btw. I don’t think there’s any form of writing that you wouldn’t excel at, SK. Looking forward to another book one day – with your life experience, wisdom, intelligence, spot-on wit and honesty, it would be a gift beyond imagination. And for anyone who is not a Church fan (weird as that is), an exposure to all said above. In any event, the best is yet to come, not just musically (that in itself has been more than brilliant already), but perhaps literally as well.


    • avatar
      Donna | 9 March 2011 at 1:21 pm #

      Hi Donna! Have fun reading!! I know you didn’t ask for anyone’s recommendations except Steve’s, but I thought I would recommend a classic called An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser. This was the book that got me hopelessly hooked on literature. (I know…”oh, brother”) This and Brothers Karamazov (Dostoyevsky) and The Red and The Black (Stendahl). I figure if you’re willing to read The Iliad, maybe you’d be willing to look at these. Amazing stuff. Also, To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee).

      I’m going to be out of the loop for a while, so don’t worry about replying. Hope all is well with you in AZ (?) -The Other Donna-

      • avatar
        Once | 9 March 2011 at 7:41 pm #

        Thanks, Donna!! I forgot to add that recommendations from anyone are welcome; I appreciate it, and will definitely add those to my list. I read at a fairly quick pace, and am looking forward to those – An American Tragedy first – sounds like it is a “gateway” book. LOL.

        The other other Donna

  28. avatar
    Karen | 9 March 2011 at 9:10 am #

    I dont know if ive seen it maybe I tried to watch it and flicked over …was funny review though I even giggled when you ..OO mr humpries

    yeah Once Ive read the odd stephen king book nothing to be ashamed of….when I was about 13 or 14 I used to steal my older bro’s books and sneakily read them ..then returned ( he probs knew)
    was telling his now wife about that and how I read the old man & the sea when I was about 13..she said ..its about a man he goes to sea he catches a fish end of story no big deal…:o everyyone has thier own take on things..

    I want to re read all those books some are old classics some are just smutty…

  29. avatar
    Ryan | 9 March 2011 at 9:45 am #

    I will check that out, thank you sir. (but not sure if i can stomach vanessa williams without a strong martini or two…)

  30. avatar
    Charlie | 9 March 2011 at 2:01 pm #

  31. avatar
    Once | 9 March 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    Wow. Epic! I’m sorry, but…but…I love this guy!


  32. avatar
    WarrnPeace | 9 March 2011 at 11:55 pm #

    Did you fall asleep before it was over?

  33. avatar
    matthew | 10 March 2011 at 12:40 am #

    A bizarre spectacle huh? A certain way with words, certainly…

  34. avatar
    Bella Donna | 10 March 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    der dur durr dah duh derr!
    heโ€™s an actor
    if steve did the same youโ€™d be saying heโ€™s a fucking genius and how healthy it is to vent your feelings/anger in this way

  35. avatar
    hellbound heart | 10 March 2011 at 7:59 pm #

    look, mate i think i’ll just stick to the literature…..too easy to totally screw something like this upneith a film version
    love always….

  36. avatar
    hellbound heart | 10 March 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    CRAP!!!!!! TYPO!!!!! ):-(

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.