posted on January 2, 2006 at 11:08 am

here i am
life at last
yesterday it was 44 degrees
thats way up over a hundred farenheit
the second hottest day
since they started taking the temp
there was no relief
we went down to clovelly
my brother waited behind some people
who were leaving in the carpark
for 15 minutes
so crowded was it
ah but the water
cold, clear
full of many different fishies
people schnorkelling
ah sweet relief
the pavement could still
burn yer feet at 9 oclock at night
look i lived here a long time
seen many hot days
but this was monstrous my weatherfiendss
my spirits of the sky
my gremlins in the static
do you care about the weather
in sydney
i don’ think so
if yer tuning in
from some miserable cold
gritty damp drafty hole
(like say…
some wretched cold water flat
in south ken
putting 50 p bits in
as yer takin’ a shower
in the communal bathroom
and yer freezin’ yer bollocks off
you don’ wanna hear about
the tranquil bondi zephyrs
or the sound of the sea
gently crashing to the sure
but its a quiet and sombre bondi
gone the razzle
the dazzle
the tourists?
they hit the road, jack
the brazilian coke deelahs?
spending yule in rio with their granny
the tramps hobos and orcs?
still out there im afraid
eurotrash backpackersss?
same as above
pommies or oioirish ladsss
carryin’ slabs o beere?
we still got those too
yobbos from the suburbs?
next weekend if its sunny
rich slim families
from italy and france…?
thanks for makin’ me feel like a bricklayer
loads o gay bouys?
the mardi gras is comin’ up
aussies and mossies
ready to fight it out
on the beaches?
thankfully they are thinne on the grounde
but i xpect theyll bee back
what about the fireworks from the bridge
which you watched from yer kitchen window?
excellent stuff
especially with bohemian enhancement precautions
which were taken
“in case the fireworx were boring”
but they werent
and ole sk
aint no big fan of fireworks
or circusses
being in a large crowd
county fairs
swimming carnivals
archery practice
harmony rehearsals
preplanning meetings
reality shows
talent contests
computah animation
kids shows
sports shows
cop shows
family shows
country and westin
alt or emo
hip hop house trancey chill out
death black speed or heavy metal
theory of evolution
all politicians
parking police
rules and regulations
customs menne
and their doggiess
fat pig record execs w/extensive bonus package
and viagra prescription
dolly birds
cranky olde ducks on busses
kidss screaming for no reason
rob e willy’mmss
agentsss…you theivess….
you achieved the opposite
of what was intended.
the law
which IS an ass
the establishment:
nice one
its all going nicely, isnt it?
scientific culling of whales:
we really need to do this..
and itd be a shame to
waste all dat blubbah…
warss liberating people
yeah, right
smart bombs
if it was smart
it wouldnt be a fuckin bomb
sorry bout the
collatral damage people
we’ll get you another neighbourhood
after the elections are held

calm down olde mane
i never thought i’d see a pol-itty-cle
sprouting forth from
the tapered lovely fingertips
of mr uninvolved
but now i got a forum
i can gush this ye olde tripe out
on my unsusspecting reeders
but what are ya trying to say olde sun,
we all knowin’ war is no goode….
yr wright..
i m slurring my blogg
i’m that obnoxious prick in a bar
screamin in yer ear
his fascist
or communist
yeah thats right pal
nuke them little babiess
thats right!
tiresome socialist turkeyss
whove never paid tax
xenophobes who never been anywhere
arachnophobes who hate the lime spiders
melbounians who think sydney has gone all u.s.
puh leeze whassup w’ chall,not.
sydnee-ites who think london
is a miserable expensive dump
why on erf would ya fink that?
anyone who thinks the big apple is outtasite
you aint never had a bite
oh europe
yer so sivvylized
oh im so impressed
ok rome im givin’ yer that
not a badde olde eternal city
actually most of italy
i find very accomodatin’
truly a place
for the lover of fine things
yess italia
i still think of you
quite often
the piscinas
the italian night
the hazy soft summer skies
your coastlines and harbours
the contagious essential
bohemian-ness of your
mercurial people
switzerland aint half badde either
i really like it there too
a few more bo hemmians
than you might think
sorry garcons and filles
not my cuppa tea
rather appreciate from a distance
scandi nayvia
its got its goode points
summer the women
its got its badde points
winter the women
sorry ms inga persson
of svenby in smaland
dont change that dial
where was i?
exciting but harsh
a badde place to be a vegan
but nice
if ya like hashish
and a wild crowd
very poore baby
but charming too
very fuckin coole, baybee
very fuckin’ coole
great britain
a little self aware,
i always feele
the u.s.?
a complicated one
the very best
the very worst
all in one
if you can avoid the worst
and stick to the best
well ok
if ya cant…
and you know
that ole sk couldnt…
dont mess with it
coz they will nail ya baby
unlike anywhere fuckin else
you gotta take it seriously
some of it
will terrify ya
if youre not a namerican
theres a heavy feeling in lotsa places
ha ha
i ate a magic mushroom
one morning
in detroit
i was bored
and it was all i had
i dropped it
and stepped out onto the snowing fucking
streets of detroit
what were you thinking olde been
i wasnt thinkin’ goode buddy
the horror
the homeless
the faceless
the junkies
the cold hearted “straightss”
ignorin’ the catastrophy around ’em
the rich bitches in the fursss
the young guys in suits
with gelled hair
and purrfect teeths
the people in the bars
staring outta smoke
with grey faces and dead eyes
cmon sk, didya get a song out of it?
no way, my manne, i wass too scared
but in contrast to all that
i spent a coupla months in malibu
and it makes bondi look like leeds
vegan whatnots
ye olde soy smoothies
with ginseng and mandrake root
famous glamourous people
livin’ it up to the hilt
havin’ it fuckin ‘ large..
palm trees
coconut shacks
beach houses
colour tv, air con and pooles
which america do ya think of
and dee troyt and mallyboo
are only 2 points on a huge grid..
i dunno
sks jury out on the usa
dont know much about asia baybee
keep mah big blogg shut
there ya have it
i dont know why im writing this
i dont know why youre reading it either
dont sweat the small stuff people
but dont neglect the details
look before you leap
cos he who hesitates is lost
i love you

19 Responses to “assorted sweets”

  1. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 2 January 2006 at 1:31 pm #

    Just checked in to check the ruby cracks in your eyes dear King Rant. Spreading the word on the anomaly of such a private being using such a public forum to confess, to absolve, to muse, to rant, to convert, to undress. Bless yr generous ways dear writer,
    sleep tight. Just loved ‘May older quaint aunt,’ by the way, beautiful and gracious.

    The love returned in spades. x

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 January 2006 at 2:17 pm #

    Steve, We loved ya in Atlanta, Georgia…

    Opening nite on the Forget Yourself tour was amazing….

    Rock On…

    Brian Turner
    Atlanta, Ga

  3. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 2 January 2006 at 3:29 pm #

    Me rompes la cabeza.
    Todas las casa en Malibu se queman y Detroit, bueno no creo ir alli jamas.
    La isla de Maui me encanto: un cuento de hadas marinas.

  4. avatar
    baby | 2 January 2006 at 4:43 pm #

    breathing all the wasted hours
    talking to the dying flowers
    dwarfed by spires and tangled towers

    stormy in san francisco, my cat is lost
    miss you, come home

  5. avatar
    esskayer | 2 January 2006 at 5:28 pm #

    Yes, SK, what WERE you thinking shroomin while roomin in DEtroit! (Rule #1: Don’t do drugz. Rule #2: Don’t do drugz in poverty-stricken hellholes where there’s no beeutiful scenery). Reminds me of the tyme back in early 90’s when I dropped some Elle and went to a My Bloody Valentine concert. Had a gaye olde tyme, concert ended with a 20 min. suite of gittar feedback like being in a freakin airplane hangar. When the show’s over I was near deaf, ear’s ringin’, head buzzin’, and trippin’ hard. Suddenly realize I gotta get home now. Walk out onto Market Street in San Francisco, like stepping onto strange and terrifying planet. Where the fuck am I? Where do I live? Uh, guess I’ll have to ask this homeless guy bout the bus schedule. By the way, please don’t stab me. So you think Detroit was badde on shrooms? Try seedy downtown SF on Elle in the middle o the night. It’ll make you wish you had “just said no.” Oh yeah, and don’t drop any Elle in a museum full of dinosaur skeletins (complete with realistic sound fx). Did so once in San Fran in early 90’s and pretty soon it was like I was in the middle of fuckin Jurassic Park. The T.Rex was about to become unshackled from the security ropes and I had to walk really fast outta there tryin’ to contain screams. Not fun. 🙂

  6. avatar
    Jnfr | 2 January 2006 at 6:03 pm #

    Would love to show you around Tucson/Arizona. One state in the big usofa with more than most – from the Grand Canyon to the Sonoroan Desert – the only place in the world where the Saguaro cactus grows (tha’s the big one with all them arms reaching towards the big blue sky). Sunsets to make you weep and all this space and bright blue sky. Fantastic.


  7. avatar
    Bionaut | 2 January 2006 at 9:04 pm #

    I remember after the ’02 show in Detroit a deranged-looking homeless guy hanging outside the Magic Stick in the unseasonably bitter cold bugging the hell out of Tim (who was overseeing the equipment transport) and anyone else who ventured outside. When we got a cab to get back to the hotel, this guy grabbed on to the door demanding a handout. The cabbie just gunned it, dragging him a few feet before he let go. That was my worst experience in Detroit. Otherwise, seemed rather typical USA.

  8. avatar
    buzby | 2 January 2006 at 9:34 pm #

    i have no business doing a blog, but yours, mr. kilbey, makes me raise an eybrow(in this case, the left one).
    i’ve never been to bondi, but mozzies and eurotrash are not my bag ‘baybee’. never been to detroit either, but.. there’s a very good reason for that.

    i’ll take manhattan anyday. well, i’ll take brooklyn over manhattan anyday. but, i think you meant to say,’anyone who thinks the big apple _isn’t_ outtasite you aint never had a bite’ maybe our men in blue were too unkind.

    but, don’t stop describing the antipodian summer… winter is cold and brutal here in nyc…. and it’s just getting started.


  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 January 2006 at 10:41 pm #

    Looking before you leap and pressure not to hesitate together can also turn into a messy bit of internal conflict, but that’s life isn’t it. Nothing is lost if that resolves, and nothing is ever really lost it’s usually just lying around somewhere unexpected, probably with the car keys. Got to go and have a few teeth pulled now.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 January 2006 at 10:48 pm #

    Actually 44 degrees C is 111 F.
    The ED.

  11. avatar
    12str | 3 January 2006 at 1:18 am #

    wow sk just let it flow…

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 January 2006 at 2:45 am #

    it doesn’t matter y you write it, we’re reading it! the real question is y we have time to read it. dont know, but i’m glad i’m making time.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 January 2006 at 4:31 am #

    Please feel free to write whatever comes up- this was a great entry- its our chance to peruse the mind of a genius. (!)

  14. avatar
    Andreas -Italy | 3 January 2006 at 6:55 am #

    Dear Steve, I am happy to hear that you love Italy, especially the coast places… if that is so, why don’t you include Genoa in your next European tour… It’s a lovely town very close to wonderful places such as Portofino and the like… wonderful weather most of the time, nice food, sincere people…. do come here next time!!!

  15. avatar
    captainmission | 3 January 2006 at 8:01 am #

    Od weary world worn traveller like me enjoyed yr evaluation on this here globe, feels quite similar, except Paris which I kind of dug despite obvious reasons not to.
    ps Andromeda7, so you married…?

  16. avatar
    captainmission | 3 January 2006 at 8:01 am #

    Od weary world worn traveller like me enjoyed yr evaluation on this here globe, feels quite similar, except Paris which I kind of dug despite obvious reasons not to.
    ps Andromeda7, so you married…?

  17. avatar
    eek | 3 January 2006 at 8:13 am #

    Really liked this one. Hell, I like most of them, but this one is excellent.

    Made me smile.

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 January 2006 at 10:59 pm #

    Spot on with the Italy loving Steve, it’s an enchanting/frustrating place that usually manages to enchant just a little more than it frustrates. I don’t know if a gig in Genova would word Andrea, ci sono troppi vecchi!

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 January 2006 at 3:22 am #

    Seems we all liked your globe-scan, Steve. More please!

    My two favourite places in Europe- Holland and Italy (honest)

    @andreas: I love Geno(v)a!

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