posted on November 3, 2008 at 7:18 pm

something
i must write something
fill up these pages with words
the truth….?
i cant remember
the truth…..
maybe i do elaborate sometimes
dark morning dawns
i sit in my tower
no
i sit in my basement
i sit in my burnt out basement with a….
no
i sit at a deserted beach
i am a handsome young man
i am a mere childe
i see the years stretch out before me forever
i plunge into the black water
its freezing cold but i am indifferent
i sink down down down
my breath fills my lungs to burst
down down down
in the murky coldness with no breath left
i am seized with panic
hideous fish come out to regard me
finally when i can no longer hold my breath
the water enters my lungs like a liquid knife
i splutter and struggle down there
it takes a while i tell you
to drown
i am thinking “how much longer….?”
when it happens
of course
some kind of separation
a dissolving
like an essence pressed from a flower
like steam from water
like smoke from fire
i rise
through the turgid water
through the quiet air
not up but out i go
out of this world
out of this time
out of memory
simply out
i stay out for a long time
a long long long time
although time never passed
it was the time it took here
lifetimes
i suppose
it took lifetimes
no time at all when its over
you realise that
life is but a dream
so i dreamed another
great cities
conquests
parades
ceremonies
murders
betrayals
pain
always pain
i run from the pain
it pursues me life after life
painful lives
painful deaths
so many ways to go
monsters
war
electrocution
darts
poison
fever
stabbed in the dark
blinded by the light
kings fall down
the walls of jericho collapse
babylon overgrown with weeds
nineveh abandoned in the desert
rome goes under
atlantis goes down
we run screaming with our children
the temple of zeus comes down around us
his great golden head crushes the priests
his body tumbles backwards causing mayhem
all is fire
all is whirlpool
all is the roar of the ocean
angered by our vain experiments
drinking us down her violent cold throat
the plates have suddenly shifted
the land vomits us into the sea
an explosion of red hot ashes
the horses run thru the streets maddened
a hole opens up
and yawns
and we are gone
the sea rushes together
and belches up blackened bodies of men and beasts
that float for a while and then sink
and everything is silent
as if it all never happened at all

15 Responses to “at all”

  1. avatar
    veleska1970 | 3 November 2008 at 9:19 pm #

    mmmm…the meaning of life. i wish i had the answer to that one.

  2. avatar
    fantasticandy | 3 November 2008 at 9:58 pm #

    your day can only get better…

  3. avatar
    kat | 3 November 2008 at 11:24 pm #

    what you describe was/is my morning/day/life. chasing circles. always missing.

    sometimes i wish mom and dad would send for me. at this rate they might. i quit eating. no more ramen noodles blech>

    all that aside….

    cheer up sunny, sk

  4. avatar
    markobears | 4 November 2008 at 12:16 am #

    Sounds like the everyday life experiences of millions of innocent people all over the world. Remember to vote when you wake up Americans.

  5. avatar
    matt davison | 4 November 2008 at 1:24 am #

    I have had heavy iron sands on my chest these last few weeks…I sank to the bottom of the sea..only to find a very alone me!
    even crash/ride has lost its enjoyment for me(fav church song) Oh Ooo!! the big D’s come a knocking!!
    I sense the panic as the ego self crumbled around me -armour gone and my beautiful woman to boot. I must find the deeper more silent part of myself..before all hope is lost and there is barely a “beingness” anymore
    I wonder if you should do the same.

  6. avatar
    MEM | 4 November 2008 at 3:12 am #


    …the planet was still
    nothing moved as it slept in space

    i’ll be back
    for you tomorrow…

  7. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 4 November 2008 at 3:39 am #

    Tomorrow Steve Kilbey will be awake, alive and kicking in Australia when Barack Obama becomes President of the United States. Obama’s from and lives in my beloved but murderous Chicago. His exquisite oratorical prowess and a biased media helped to galvanize the voters. He could be great but he would be idyllic if he embraced SK’s ecological veganisim and environmentalism. It will be a human zoo in downtown Chicago. God bless Mayor Daley for making Chicago a liveable place against all odds.
    Danger !
    The next two months Bush-Cheney are going to continue to committ crimes against nature, wildlife, endangered species and pastoral
    nature havens. Pernicious “lame ducks.”

  8. avatar
    andmoreagain | 4 November 2008 at 4:34 am #

    Just read yes-tur-daze blog and was amused that you had exactly 20 comments. Ha ha. Brien where’s yer mention of Jeff Beck? It’s not a comment without it. Just watched Spinal Tap recently and was struck blown away by Christoper Guest’s resemblance.

  9. avatar
    m.p.k | 4 November 2008 at 4:53 am #

    This is beautiful… and true.

  10. avatar
    EDD | 4 November 2008 at 6:33 am #

    I’m not always sure what you mean, Steve but your wordplay somehow makes sense. I’m drawing my own meanings like so many artists their like listeners/readers to do. A concept I’ve always loved and stood behind I’ve been a fan of your music for some time now but only recently found your blog. A voice in the shadows.

  11. avatar
    Jasperina | 4 November 2008 at 7:40 am #

    Nice dreamy words today. A rebirth of sorts beautifully described as always.

  12. avatar
    lily was here | 4 November 2008 at 10:06 am #

    Can one drown slowly? It seems so fast. Do you ever have that dream where you’re given a pass to travel into your future, on the condition that when you return all will be forgotten?

    I do. It makes me think of the gazillion ways to die. Drownings not on my list of favourites.

    Reminds me of that joke. “Id like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa. Not kicking and screaming.. like his passengers” 🙂

    Thank christ the usa election campaign’s nearly over. Good luck americans, may the best man win!

    ps Steve Kilbey will be playing with The Triffids for both of the winery gigs! 🙂

    Love to Big Smiles Kate!!

  13. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 4 November 2008 at 11:01 am #

    me thinks you’ll leave a much bigger and more sustantial legacy than many of us, steve…art and poetry and music are things that endure and continue to cause ripples…..other human beings are born and just take take take and then they die and that’s it….
    drowning….falling…nightmares that haunt….
    love always….

  14. avatar
    ross b | 4 November 2008 at 12:16 pm #

    I love this post. I’m very close to these ideas as I find myself pondering the ephemerality of physical living life almost constantly these days.

    “all is the roar of the ocean
    angered by our vain experiments
    drinking us down her violent cold throat
    the plates have suddenly shifted
    the land vomits us into the sea
    an explosion of red hot ashes”

    – that’s brilliant, but part of me hopes it’s gonna be alright, y’know

    It seems almost certain that we’re stepping into an era of resource depletion, economic dislocation and ecological disaster,

    but we live on..
    Much respect,
    Ross

  15. avatar
    davem | 4 November 2008 at 9:08 pm #

    Dark but unctuous.
    Hope you’re ok Matty D – we’re all in your debt for SK live.
    xx


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