posted on October 10, 2007 at 1:35 am

about 45 minutes ago
you swallowed 3 psilocybin mushrooms
or actually maybe toadstools
gold tops the locals called them
much better than the blue meanies
youve been assured
youre sitting there by the side of a creek
under a lovely old sacred oak tree
to say conditions are idyllic is meaningless
the blew sky
tangled trees creak and
the creek rushing in its course
rushes rubbing together
blue cranes arrive
circling lazily in the heavens
everything fitting together so magically perfect
so perfectly magical
for the first time you see the hand of god
behind everything
and that hand had directed you towards this moment
and that hand that had placed you here in the game
and the mind and heart that had conceived all this
were irrepressible
the motion of the leaves
the dappled light like lovelight
it was a dance
it was choreography
how had you never seen it before
an alkaloid had entered a receptor
or blocked a protein
or whatever however it did what it did
you were having a transcendental revelation
you were finally transcending the mundane reality
that you hated hated hated
and youd searched for this in cs lewis and marc bolan
and lobsang rampa and mervyn peake
underwater and at parties
in cinemas and libraries
you were always looking for this
this was waking up on the 1st day of the holidays
and realising youre in a very special and wondrous fucking place
god was in everything
you could see that now
how simple it was
a glimpse of the great plan of life which normally dwarfs us
you saw god aint no stern old jehovah with his rules
and regulations
god is movement creativity humour and deep compassion
the mushrooms were filling you with energy light heat
you grinned and grinned
how pleased you were with yourself and everything else
oh it all fell into place, didnt it
the penny dropped
the trees sizzled in the rooftop nests baby birdlings slept
the wind swept across the emerald fields the magnetic fields
astral planes opened up and sky intensified
god began his rambling tale speaking in pure music
the reeds whispered steven this is all for you
bubbling creek speak with its liquid mind into you
step into me tastes a word inside a heart i owned once
the water feels so much better than it said in my hand
i see him i see you
you see me out here writing this 30 odd years on
you see moments taken from past future some continuum
its no surprise
its no surprise
its no surprise lips touch your skin
angel footed girl
the lips kiss deep
the vault above you
her hands
weaving dissolving patterns you will later write
forming our uncertain terms
like terry riding a wave
like bolans wah wah on lofty skies
i look close up at the nature, boy !
you i her him the moon comes out
terris clothes are white on the green grass
and yellow flowers
wingless seraphim dove into creek
deep dive she dove deeper into my river of blood
she says something you supposed meantime
everything fractures
a kaleidoscopic nimbin new south whales bang
whoosh you jumped into the welcoming water
as you went down
a silver surface solemnly closed fluidly overhead
bubbles race up oh so much silver
and the dark water mineral taste in your mind
is saying drink up dreamer
dream another dream sleeper shes a keeper
a naiad is in this stream
you see terri as the daughter of the willowy reedy river
she dip and diving in and out
she seems to hang in the burning air
and then fall leaving trails of colour and silver
gods song plays underwater the fish all shimmy
the bluesky man its crashing on me but you dont care
its delicious
and gods song is so serious you laugh out loud
underwater underair underfire underether
under the blue and clouded skydomed heavenly screen
understanding understood
happiness absentminded bliss dreamy euphoria
every single thing so packed with meaning
with clues
some mistake has occurred
you were always supposed to feel like this
this is the magic you remember
from the old days
the eleusinian days and nights
when you had previously unlocked nature
and heres terri naked and out of her tree
just like those ancient greeks in the corner of your memory
terri starts to talk
her words are winged like athenas
but you forgot what she has said
yet just as you have finished marvelling
shes speaks in baby-lonian and sweet nineveh
she speaks like a priestess of the cult of set
she talks of wonderful things you used to think so usual
imagine steve she says
if only
oh if only everyone….
could feel
could feel like…this
if only they could have seen this sky
and touched the morning the way we did
and feel like the trees understand each other
and i feel like they are in love
and oh thered be no more wars
but oh why if only they knew
its all right here
why do they work
imagine that an office…..
like dad working in his office
and all the time
and all the while
and it was no surprise
when terri
when terri
it was no surprise
within that day
the day i saw the hand of god
and much more of terri
you thought
a woman surely is gods greatest work
but the telepathic kingfishers disagreed
a humanocentric way of seeing things
you see to me
my wife with her blue wings and blackbeak
with her claws full of fish
ah thats gods greatest work
and all the other living things clamoured to be heard
in my mind where i was hearing them
and all said
my beloved is gods greatest work
and it was right
and it was equal
and it was just
that this was as it is
and always was
and will be again
naked as the day
the day naked like a nude
lovely day of love
day made of love
sunshine in
clouds shaped like little beasts in the sky
tree canopy filters light speed
the girl transforms and transforms
i hold on to each one
hopelessly trying to define
her phantom spirit
and day
that was made for us

53 Responses to “ate”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 3:42 am #



  2. avatar
    JONNY NOT YET SO HOLLYWOODISH | 10 October 2007 at 4:15 am #

    eye am speechless…

  3. avatar
    A Joint A Coopers Vintage ale and KFC to wash the filth of this blog down | 10 October 2007 at 4:20 am #

    I PROPOSE we all take a vote (those who subscribe only) and decide to change the name of this blog- here are a few suggestions:

    -The Time Stoned
    -Do we really need to eva read the word joint or acid again-Get the fuck over it
    -This ain’t no ginsberg, this aint no keroac, this aint no Fyodor
    -Try not to consume any mind altering substances for a week Steve
    -There is nothing like being straight-but i can only write when im stoned-crock of shit!
    -Once u give the chemical filled hydro time to get out of your system then u never need it again
    -just end this fucking blog now- there are your memoirs dude get em published or write a fucking piece of fiction or do what u do best and play music.
    -Beer drinkers and meat eaters steve cares! he really does! oh boy does he care? U r the reason behind him, you allow him to create, his anger for you fuels his best of work. So be glad that you are SK’s little helpers
    -Steve how can u call yourself a vegan when u smoke mother nature!

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 4:30 am #

    Reminds me of a little quote –

    I don’t do drugs. I am drugs. ~Salvador Dali

    …and Mr Cranky-pants at 2.20pm….time to take your medication.


  5. avatar
    WOW* | 10 October 2007 at 4:46 am #

    am kinda speechless as well SK!..except tpo say,that you are magnificent,and I LOVE YOU!…consider me an arse kisser,eternally!…and anon at 2:0…in the many meanings of the words “get rooted!”…sounds like you either need “grounding” or ” a bit o love in yer life” or you could take the dignified option,and just bugger off!….Steve,you are amazing! love . and bliss and peace to you….xxA

  6. avatar
    the dean | 10 October 2007 at 4:57 am #


  7. avatar
    steve kilbey | 10 October 2007 at 5:01 am #

    dear beer and kfc
    as i was writing this today
    i could already see your comment here
    nearly as predictable as my drug hoo hah
    im sorry this is what i do
    im sorry you didnt like it
    im sorry if you subscribed
    and feel “ripped off”
    as we drug casualties say
    youre right
    i aint no kerouac
    i aint no ginsberg
    im steve fucking kilbey
    whatta surprise
    you see….
    go drink your chicken
    you turkey!

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 5:25 am #

    Jeez man! This blog today! Fantastic! You`re so spot on – entering these realms of intensified focused Here & Now, seeing beyond, transcending. Like coming home….
    Your words my reality!
    This is Poetry! Keep it up!
    (As to the kfc`s of this world: what about a spelling-course…..?)

  9. avatar
    Centuryhouse | 10 October 2007 at 5:34 am #

    We’ve already got a Kerouac and Ginsberg, but fortunately there is an opening here for one STEVE KILBEY! 🙂

    I enjoyed reading it.

    I wish I could know how close your fluid description was to the real experience. It’s fascinating to me and stimulates thought.

    I’ve never tried any drug – but were it not for the legal implications for me, mushrooms would be the thing I would try. I’ve always been interested in the effects of things that alter your perception. Peyote, mushrooms, etc.

    Our minds get locked into the logical, the rational, the everyday. Things that take us away from that can be a blessing – it is possible without drugs, but difficult.


  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 6:12 am #

    wow!……/jb x

  11. avatar
    mime | 10 October 2007 at 6:12 am #

    “god is movement creativity humour and deep compassion”

    what else could we possibly want?

  12. avatar
    one man dog | 10 October 2007 at 6:14 am #

    Hello all, how is everbody, i am currently on treatment.

  13. avatar
    verdelay | 10 October 2007 at 6:28 am #

    Yes I remember it well.

    I was the lantana on the opposite bank patiently awaiting my turn.

    I offered up a little fragrance for the occassion.

    Years later I burnt to ash.

    And here we are.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 6:30 am #

    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  15. avatar
    syrinx | 10 October 2007 at 6:52 am #

    the sandwiches i bought at panera never seemed to inspire this. i was robbed.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 7:14 am #

    Um…Steven Kilbey…am kinda speechless,as well…funny ..isnt it?!…all of these things are actually there,before,and after the trip.It just takes a different angel,or perspective,to put them through the magic-ifier kaliedescope,and presto!these things are just as beautiful as they were before,yes?…such a gorgeous piece today.beyond inspirational for me,thank-you!melted my heart’s heart,as well!i’ve only read it 3 times so far ,but i think this is one for the memory vault,filed under “heavenly SK words”,it’s right next to the “sublime n subliminal magic”files,and the “keys,quays,chi’s and chai’s” are extraordinary Mr.K!..when i think of what the inside of your mind must look like?i see rainbows of satin ribbons,swirling around a pillar of silver.i see lush gardens,and the spirits of beings and beasts who are hesitant of being reborn into the physical world,for fear of not inhabiting your thought sphere….exquisite writing today,as everyday…i wish for you,a perfect evening,love,as always,gen xxxxx x

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 7:21 am #

    GOD, yes, that was magic, beautiful, to feel like that just once in this lifetime is all I ask!!!!! Life can be beautiful when you put it like that sk.
    Love always,

  18. avatar
    12str | 10 October 2007 at 7:43 am #

    wow Kilbey!
    how can altering your mind be a criminal act when it comes out as beautiful as this…. there must be a way to combine the best of every world we exist in…a slow dive into a dream…


  19. avatar
    paul footlights | 10 October 2007 at 8:02 am #

    Why even react to beer and kfc? Fuck them.

  20. avatar
    Candy | 10 October 2007 at 8:03 am #

    WOW! X

  21. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 10 October 2007 at 8:09 am #

    What is the role of the artist? Art by its inherent nature of expressing and exposing truth, through symbolic expression, can be profound but also confronting.
    The first to exit from or be terminated early in a country at war are the artists and intellectuals. We need our artists and we mustn’t confuse Art with advertising dear friend @ 2:20pm

  22. avatar
    Zoerov | 10 October 2007 at 9:42 am #


  23. avatar
    Rik Rehab | 10 October 2007 at 10:10 am #

    To be in touch with the God of your understanding is totally where it’s at, in my humble opinion…but that’s all it is… MY humble opinion…much like this here blog is merely YOUR humble opinion. I choose to have a relationship with my God without the aid of drugs these days, but only because I don’t know when to stop taking the sodding things. And my choice is simply that…my choice. I admire your open-ness and honesty Steve. If you ever get round to doing your Step 4, you’ll fuckin fly through it!! Hahahaha! Take care my friend and don’t EVER stop being you…personally I prefer a nice falafel washed down with a red bull!!

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 10:23 am #

    this resonates on every conceivable level…/8675309 xo

  25. avatar
    veleska1970 | 10 October 2007 at 10:54 am #

    hahaha~~funny you used the word “kaleidoscope”, steve~~that is exactly what i was thinking while reading this. it was very colorful indeed!!

    have a good evening.

    lotza love….

  26. avatar
    Faye | 10 October 2007 at 11:52 am #

    what a way to spend my birthday!music,a little j ,a cup of tea,and THIS!.I am truly ALMOST speechless beautiful SK! Love and peace . xo

  27. avatar
    fantasticandy | 10 October 2007 at 12:07 pm #

    i had an experience much like this 20 years ago aged about 30.
    i was stone-cold sober.
    andy L.

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 12:32 pm #

    loving the journeys that your words and my mind takes me on…….

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 12:46 pm #

    I don’t always read the comments these days but enjoyed the blog so much I decided to today.Have to say that some particular people really piss me off when they release all their bullshit and negativity,in these comments and all around me for that matter,especially when people are going about their lives doing their thing ….where is your respect?So to whom this applies-go find the light you’re a lost soul!!!!

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 1:00 pm #

    tar and feather that chicken at the edge of town, says i.


  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 1:07 pm #

    and again…WOW SK!…../cwx

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 1:13 pm #

    I have a feeling that the poor old chicken with a very gigantian egg on the way,may be very barbecued by the fact that we are calling him a chicken,when he was obviously attempting roosterhood…

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 1:59 pm #

    Ginsberg is over rated.
    Kilbey is better.


  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 2:11 pm #

    hey kittykat !you’re not wrong there,my friend,i used to have a photo of him on my folder at school!..and thats the truth..his genius was never in question..SK SOARS! x

  35. avatar
    Candy | 10 October 2007 at 2:28 pm #

    now I’m blushing! Steven is one of a kind.he is all things . love .

  36. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 10 October 2007 at 2:40 pm #

    An intoxicating, spiritual, lush, magical, celestial, nature-loving and splenderous blog replete with inspiration, imagination, utopian idealism, man before the fall glory, and reminiscent of mystical Isaiah, Empedocles and John Wesley.
    Wesley would have liked SK and vice-versa.

    I never liked Ginsberg and Jack. Prefer the philosophies of Empedocles and Albert Schweitzer. I dig the poetry of the late Christy Brown and former Indian President, Abdul Kalam.

  37. avatar
    sweet dreamz! | 10 October 2007 at 2:52 pm #


  38. avatar
    davem | 10 October 2007 at 5:59 pm #

    Brilliant Killer.
    I try to imagine that God can cut through that Cacophony and hear every heartbeat, all the wonders and beauty, all the greed and anger. What a responsibility. Totally agree that he ain’t no stern Jehovah or some piece of meat nailed to a tree. So much bigger than that. Although he/she is both of those things too I’m sure.
    I only have to heard the word “ruffles” – which isn’t often it’s true – and I’m back 24 years at my first trip.
    I NEVER eat the meat (or fissssshesssss) but confess a love for ale and wine. Plenty of options now without fishy finings….
    Love to all. Any sign of painkiller SK??

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 6:05 pm #

    love .x o x

  40. avatar
    Cee | 10 October 2007 at 6:50 pm #

    I was busy chasing shadows
    will you help me tie one on?

    When I fall for you I Neverland

    rick hardin

    rick and steve are friends in my world

  41. avatar
    John | 10 October 2007 at 8:08 pm #

    Steve, there can be no doubt, you are a gifted and beautiful writer, in both words and music. You can make and move mountains with your gifts. Thanks for sharing them with us. You certainly have nothing left to prove.

    I also want to thank Ryan for the mention of Saturation off of BW2B. I guess I did not realize it was a full album like Beside Yourself. I have been plugged in for a week now and discovered it is a (somewhat hidden) gem like BY.


  42. avatar
    lolly gobble bliss bombs | 10 October 2007 at 8:53 pm #

    oh,pop! xo

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 12:36 am #

    Hi sk, how are you today? Just wondering when the 53yo, 2007 sk is coming back, I miss him!
    Have a lovely day.
    Love always,

  44. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 11 October 2007 at 12:44 am #

    Who are Beer and KFC. Steve can’t to be a vegan because he smoke’s Mother Nature? What type of intellectually clallenged, morally impoverished malcontent with a severed conscience could write such rubbish.

    If Steve’s in trouble than SIR MACCA’s Going to hell. Smoking Mother Nature With MACCA and SK would be mystifying. The bass jamming would be trippier than hell while sounding like Heaven. The karma would be refined.

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 1:12 am #

    May the Force be with you

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 1:17 am #

    ….the force..good,now and forever….*

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 1:53 am #

    where be the Kilbey?where be the bloggy king.He’d be that,you should hear him sing…x

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 2:09 am #

    It was as you said it was, exactly as you say.
    Simply lovely.
    terri m

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 5:22 am #

    You rock Mr Kilbey!You are the best! X …/the word condenser

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 6:32 am #

    It’s the Comedown

  51. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 6:44 am #

    it won’t be too long now….though it’s killing me,I’m smiling…SK,are you smiling too?I do hope up that divine mind for us all ,with more of your HB!

  52. avatar
    isolde | 11 October 2007 at 7:58 am #


  53. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 October 2007 at 11:14 am #

    *I love you *

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