posted on March 2, 2011 at 6:11 pm

inconvenience store

saraswati favour me again

help me unlock the secret words that will turn the people on

oh i want to open up and let everything out

because everything is moving so fast now

and i’m rushing towards the end

and voices in my head clamour to be heard

and if i could so energise myself

in one great burst of creativity

i could succinctly nail it for once and for good

so i never had to again

so i could let it go where it wants

no more laziness no more doubt

my crown will be flooded by the cosmos

and all the greatest artisans from the old days will flow thru me

let me access that place

let me rifle thru the library of mankind

let me listen in on music never written

let me see the taste of the sound

i want everything at once

my ambitions exceed my meagre talents

the things i dream of are dazzling and monstrous

but somehow reality defeats us

and we work in shadows

and we struggle needlessly against life

and the fingers and voices that translate what we find in the void

are incapable of the subtlety and finesse

and our minds which should be hard as diamond

focusing the beauty of the entire earth and its history

thru the prism of a song or painting

a song which sings itself so to speak

something so fucking obvious no one could even see it !

so i’m searching through my mind and heart

trying to find whatever it is i need

some element some ingredient

some unthought of combination

i talk in my head with unknown persons

a committee of disembodied voices

whispering and shouting out their various trips

me : i’m just a vessel

i take what i can get

i get what i can take

but something animates me surely

forcing me to go on until i finally hit that golden nail

so i stumble along imagining things all over the place

life is full of marvels there is no shortage of subject matter

night falls in australia

autumn closing in

its already march




57 Responses to “believe it”

  1. avatar
    andy | 2 March 2011 at 6:47 pm #

    gonna get off my lazy ass, get my studio sorted out(a mammoth task) and nail some new choons…!
    you’ve inspired me.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 4 March 2011 at 4:33 am #

      Do you have anything tracked down that you can share? I’d really be interested in your demos, because of your musical interests, probably will correlate progressively and positively into your creations. I have been working again and mastering, once again (for like the 100th time), a concept instrumental album based on one of my paintings, “flowers no more”. I’ve finally feel good about 8 of the 10 tracks. The concept revolves sonically within the scope of ‘how seasons change and their effect on life and death conceptually’. Just wish there was so, so, so, much more time in the day to dedicate to it or anything artistically. But I’m trying.

      SK replied to a comment I made around 8 months ago regarding painting again, he just told me what I needed to hear to get me juiced up to go at it again, I haven’t painted in years since all my physical disabilities grew and I really needed the mental push. Thanks SK !!!

      Go For It Andy !!! and find the time, you owe that much to yourself, and for those you can share with.

      Darrin K.

      • avatar
        andy | 4 March 2011 at 7:25 pm #

        thanks for the interest!

        new stuff in progress!
        if any tb’ers are interested in any of it i can send out a few cd’s for free.
        so let me know……….

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 5 March 2011 at 8:35 am #

          So you’ll know this ahead of time. I do not blow smoke up anyones arses, especially musicians because I’ve been one since I was 12, and thats over 3 decades ago (Yikes…)

          1. the other…really enjoyed ‘Jaunt, Dano Time, and My Hellbound Heart.
          2. DudesOfNeptune…’Away, On Meteor Street’ …solid-most definitely would like to hear more of both incarnations from you. Also, both have a unique flavor and flare-not catchy but intriguing.

          3. TheFailedUK…WTF??? Isn’t there anyone out there that can appreciate great music and sign/work on you guys over that ocean. Vocals/lyrics…LOVED THEM !!! Great tone in the voice, not just trying to ‘sing’ a rock song but actually making a solid, structured process, as another instrument in a 3 member band. “Cumbrian Skies, In Any Storm, …nice nice nice …very well done. I believe ‘The Failed’ should be relevant. I would be honored to hear more of that. I notice the dates on the main page (June 2010 ???), are you three still working together? I hope so. Andy-that was far better than I could expect and I have managed record stores for eons here in the states and even managed districts for another record/video store company back in the mid-late 80’s, lived at clubs in the dark corners-trying to catch a earful of something positive. So I have heard countless bands ‘trying’ to accomplish something- hell- anything, and ‘The Failed’ sounded very professional and should be marketed accordingly. Hell, If The Church toured around your hometown area, I would insist that you guys get a 4-6 song opening set. I would hope that Steve has heard the material and agrees. Guys need a break !!! Thats what I have always said. You three most definitely !!!

          All my current music is now self created, just little old me and myself -writing-recording-engineering-mastering. The days of ‘playing in a band’ are miles and miles away from my present day. And when I was deeply involved, our music was extremely hardcore, fast-crunchy-complicated.

          I would really like to here more. I’m a bit weary of offering up personal info on this or any site. SK has all my contact info deep in corners of this site. He could offer it up to you or we can find a ‘safe’ way to exchange the required info to communicate. And if you do send me anything, I promise not only to share it with friends and family, but also to send you some of my current material.

          I really liked what I heard, especially ‘The Failed’ Thats great stuff Andy !!!

          Darrin K.

  2. avatar
    meg manestar | 2 March 2011 at 7:21 pm #

    time conduit…good stuff..the nail may never be found but you create a majestic castle with lots of features along the way.

  3. avatar
    deacon12 | 2 March 2011 at 7:40 pm #

    Such is the nature of art,religion,science.
    We are mostly defined by our failures.
    We strive for that elusive thing that is just beyond our grasp.
    Sometimes we touch the sun.

  4. avatar
    M | 2 March 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    but it March now. it’s the shiny time!

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 3 March 2011 at 6:17 am #

      yeah i thought of that too

      • avatar
        Once | 3 March 2011 at 7:06 am #

        Yeah, me too. Looked for it on youtube yesterday to share with my Facebook mates, but not posted. Contented myself with Centaur. Now I have to find (haven’t re-alphabetized in a while) and listen to the whole CD. Donette’s voice is crystalline and sultry all at the same time…couldn’t love it more. Diamond girl.

  5. avatar
    M | 2 March 2011 at 9:50 pm #

    I hate typos.

  6. avatar
    Wilfred Paradise | 2 March 2011 at 10:45 pm #

    SK11 – sounds like a double album is on its way, you will finally paint the real masterpiece – love the fire in the gut – you need to finish setting the karmic table – love it – enjoy, enjoy – wilfred paradise

  7. avatar
    Freddie | 2 March 2011 at 11:34 pm #

    Aye, that ever elusive thing, but if anyone can nail it I reckon it’d be Steven Kilbey.

  8. avatar
    Lara | 3 March 2011 at 12:35 am #

    Beautiful, SK. May the unknown persons never leave your side.

  9. avatar
    JW | 3 March 2011 at 12:48 am #

    Now that sounds like a whole new level of songs you’ll be writing that are destined to come true!

  10. avatar
    evilren | 3 March 2011 at 1:18 am #

    great subject Steve-O. I know there are many ways to approach writing music, one that
    always struck me was what Brian Eno said about writing, (and I’m sure I will do it no justice)
    you have to learn how to un-write the song, the better you are, the less conducive to writing
    or something. For me anyway, I like to discover new chords and sequences all the time. I
    also have a simple instrument I write on. A muse would be great, but there are none available.
    So keep up the good work and I look forward to hearing your new music.

  11. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 3 March 2011 at 1:54 am #

    Wow is right !!!

    March roars in as a Lion and struts off as a Lamb in my fair city. I cannot wait for this weather to break. Even though, the horizon is getting brighter, days- minutes- longer, and the sun feels warm on the cold dry skin.

    “i want everything at once” …Fuck ya you do. You’ve earned it brother. Be selfish, as I have offered up. It is Killer Kilbey Time !!! Stake what is rightfully yours. No one deserves it more than you.

    “my ambitions exceed my meagre talents” What ??? Are you kidding me ??? I witnessed it, so did countless others. ‘As the bodies rose together as one with applause, screams of joy to warmly embrace their heroes’ …wasn’t it just days ago that the audiences proved here in the states what The Church, and their beloved frontman, are to us all !!! Hell, did you think because we are getting old that we had to stretch are tired stiff bodies, and clear are dusty throats??? so many times-over and over again… (well..maybe some of us-man I’m sore today, as every day…LOL)

    We Love You Guys !!!

    Well, I’m off now-this crisp Wednesday morning to 2 different doctor appointments on 2 different parts of town. Yeah-the only help they can possibly be giving me now is ‘helping themselves to whats in my wallet’ …which sadly there isn’t much left anymore with all this medical non-cents.

    Wish me well, though I already know the words they will say, as if I have watched this episode already, well hell…I have now for going on 5 years this fuckin April (long time to feel so much physical pain folks)

    But it is sunnier today outside which lifts a smile to my sullen face…

    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 3 March 2011 at 6:16 am #

      good luck at the docs darrin

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 3 March 2011 at 10:14 am #

        Thanks…that means alot. Now-another appointment Monday with, yet again, another DR. This one wants to internally place a ‘electronic spinal chord stimulator’ at my L4/L5 (left) impending nerve root and with tweaks and adjustments – bring ‘some sense’ of relief to the torment. An internal ‘pace-maker for severe chronic pain’.

        And you’ll laugh at this one as he discusses the impact on my life, the process of the procedure and blah blah blah. I look him dead in the eye and say:


        YOU FIRST ??!!!”

        Gotta love my twisted ironic humor. Oh…and they increased my pain meds…its like battlefield morphine in pill form now. Nothing like being incoherent for lapses of the day…LOL !!!

        I’ll keep ya posted. Thanks again so much, I pray for you every night and always wish the best possible outcome for all the roadblocks that life spills out in front of your life.

        Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Once | 3 March 2011 at 7:14 am #

      Hi Daz –

      Yeah, the zeitgeist is in full bloom and the irony’s hot…

      It’s gonna be 80F here (AZ) today, 2 days of freedom before (hopefully) last surgery…once again, applauding your courage and fortitude in the face of such circumstances. Hoping for the best for you, mate.


      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 3 March 2011 at 10:19 am #


        Drop me a line outside of this electronic field and catch me up to speed. 80F !!! Soak that up !!! Must feel great after your ordeal to enjoy something like the warmth of mother earth. I wanna know more about that dinner from your blog entry the other night. Wow !!! You surely stood strong in the devil’s eyes of temptation on that one , didn’t you !!! So So Very Proud !!!

        Darrin K.

    • avatar
      BigSmilesKate | 3 March 2011 at 12:34 pm #

      Good luck Darrin. Wishing you stamina and positivity.
      Big smiles

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 4 March 2011 at 12:30 am #

        Thank You Kate !!!

        Your smile radiates healing powers from across the globe.

        I was just thinking about you and how you are feeling. I know there where some disturbances in your physical being that concerned you, and in fact concerned all of us.

        Darrin K.

  12. avatar
    JW | 3 March 2011 at 1:54 am #

    What is your God?

    Aleister Crowley’s Secret to Great Music is:



    The passage I saw goes like this:

    God is actually more of an activity than a person, place or thing. So you think of God as a verb rather than as a noun, and you’ll get closer to it.

    Buckminster Fuller used to say, I seem to be a verb and this is cognate with Burroughs, Gysin and Crowley’s aphorism, We are here to go.

    Thou art God, is the greeting people give to one another in Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein’s science fiction novel intended to popularize and present Thelemic philosophy.

    God as a verb, an omnidirectional vector of endlessly Becoming seems in line with how theoretical physicists model the Universe.

    Of course, a pantheist ( pan = all, theist = God) can be pan-devotional or pan-worshipful to just about anything. Or no-thing at all.

    Crowley, in the aptly titled Liber Oz, declares There is no god but man right below the quote, Every man and every woman is a star. In an online Crowley class with Bob Wilson I changed it to There is no god but WoMan. He replied that his wife Arlen had made the same change in an article she wrote. The way I see it, that statement puts the onus on us.

    …..Add in some deep uwavering commitment, some red & white and align alchemically with the higher angelic posts and it’ll be the best record ever!

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2011 at 2:39 am #

    I believe it. Flow… and then you find the edits after it appears. (on my own note — I know that part true… flow… edit, edit, edit; flow… kinda like the rythm of swimming through an ocean) You’re a music man, a genius one at that… it will be too beautiful; which is what always stays true… I believe forever is beauty and forever is good (with a hell of a lot of frustration in between… flow)

  14. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 3 March 2011 at 4:20 am #

    believe it or not I’m walking on air I never thought I could be so free, flying away on a wing and a prayer, who could it be??? believe it or not it’s just STEVE!!! lol

  15. avatar
    . | 3 March 2011 at 4:23 am #

    steve, believing it, livin’ it!
    back in the zone, fine form
    break through the ice pack
    nothing subtle, the glamour
    hit that nail, well you already have
    you’ve roofed an entire city block
    with your cosmic, melodic hammer
    we’ll take more, a renovation complete
    stone upon stone, impenetrable city wall
    a house free of sand, covered in spelt
    where soul and body connect, flowing women
    round the marble halls to protect
    keep the subject matter flowing
    your mission do not neglect
    it’s all good in retrospect
    the future dreams forever
    in you lies a template
    unique, never stale
    better and better

  16. avatar
    dov friedman | 3 March 2011 at 5:04 am #

    Steve,I have been wondering how you feel about Townes Van Zandt since you have touched on so many things regarding lyrics and inspiration?I was at the first Seattle show of this tour and was really happy to see you enjoying yourself so much!

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 3 March 2011 at 6:12 am #

      not familiar with tvz at all….

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 4 March 2011 at 4:59 am #

      Steve,though initially there would appear to be a rather large disparity between the music of The Church and the music of Townes Van Zandt,it seems to me that you are aiming at a similar kind of transcendence.
      Though he is often mentioned alongside Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan,for my taste he is less studied than Cohen,less affected than Dylan,and ultimately more lasting than both.I think you would really appreciate him!
      I would humbly like to suggest that you check out his album “Rear View Mirror”–probably the best and most comprehensive view of his work in one place.Steve,thank you sincerely for all that your music has given me since I first saw The Church with Echo and The Bunnymen in 1986!

  17. avatar
    Once | 3 March 2011 at 7:18 am #

    This is it. And I believe.

  18. avatar
    davem | 3 March 2011 at 7:56 am #

    Like you.

  19. avatar
    queenhatshepsut | 3 March 2011 at 8:11 am #

    “We work in shadows
    We struggle needlessly against life…”

    I felt sad reading these lines but also realised how true they are. I was just writing the other day how I fight, fight, fight life and can’t seem to stop.

    When you find the answer(s) do share… ; )
    Denise xxoo

  20. avatar
    simon | 3 March 2011 at 8:42 am #

    autumn is like summer with a bit more class – in melbourne anyway

  21. avatar
    mattyc | 3 March 2011 at 8:43 am #

    …around each corner,
    another corner and another,
    the answer to each question begets another
    and another…
    the cycle persists and keeps us longing, aspiring
    and interested.

    • avatar
      Cocoamo | 3 March 2011 at 11:46 am #

      Reminds me of the joke:

      Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.

      Ha ha.

      Your Friend in Pennsylvania
      (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  22. avatar
    bionicanna | 3 March 2011 at 9:23 am #

    wow indeed. in that state of mind, anything is possible. loved the diamond mind prism imagery.

    regarding the golden nail, it was in my heart to give you something gold last week, but it didn’t seem right. actually it was more ruby red: mesogold colloidal gold.

  23. avatar
    pure | 3 March 2011 at 10:08 am #

    maybe the golden nail
    is a song right out of your comfort zone
    something that is not weary detachment
    something that is unerringly and unashamedly joyous
    lyrically and musically

  24. avatar
    princey | 3 March 2011 at 10:51 am #

    You sound a lot more positive since coming home sk, I really do hope all that negative stuff is behind you now 🙂

    I remember March 3rd is a special day for you too, enjoy the memories.

    Take care and love always,

  25. avatar
    Wallace | 3 March 2011 at 1:15 pm #


    Saw you in Foxboro Massachusetts a week or two ago. Great show! Finally Starfish! – Well cool. Just a quick story (I realize it’s your blog). As a young man- one christmas my dad bought me my first DVD player (long time ago)… To accompany this my brother bought me my very first 3 albums. Echo and the Bunnyman/ The Fixx and The Church “Starfish”. Since then 20 plus years have passed and I’ve been listening and acquiring albums from The Church ever since. I really identify with the music, songs and lyrics- simply brill. Any way for now thanks for another great show, keep making music and I look forward to the new album and another tour. Master what you can control and learn to let go of the thing’s you can’t.

    PS White Magic is class.


  26. avatar
    Donna | 3 March 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    Steve, I have always pictured you effortlessly cranking out song after song, furiously painting in between… but that isn’t true for many artists, is it? I crumble when I have to “create” anything from my imagination, much preferring to let you artists do the hard work!!

    You are at the top of your game. You have already unlocked the secret words that turn us on, and you have nailed it again and again and again.

    Still, I have no doubt that for you, the best is yet to come.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 4 March 2011 at 12:41 am #

      No No No…I do not believe you ‘crumble’ when you create anything. I have read your blog posts over all this time and you always offer up words of wisdom, neatly wrapped in a bouquet of positivity…how is that not “creative”. I guarantee if you could step back from life’s daily distractions for a moment-you can and would be well on your way. Music, art, poetry, or simply transcribing your thoughts and emotions would be a great creative beginning. Do it Donna, I know you can…just tell yourself that you can and your half way there.

      Darrin K.

      • avatar
        Donna | 5 March 2011 at 2:15 pm #

        Darrin, thank you so much for that sweet compliment! But I do crumble!! I appreciate beautiful things, paintings, music, words…but when I try my own hand at it, I give up quickly!! I used to paint a lot in high school, and actually have some talent, but my work sometimes drove me crazy…to the point of tears…I would get so frustrated when I didn’t like the results, or when I couldn’t come up with any good ideas. And of course, now that I have 3 kids and work, I just don’t have the time.

        On another note, I’m so sorry about the trials you’re facing. There are good doctors out there…it’s just a matter of finding them. My husband wasn’t interested in anyone’s money, and he’d give you the shirt off his back (NO JOKE). I hope you’re able to find the help you need. You stay positive, too, OK?


  27. avatar
    hellbound heart | 3 March 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    meagre talent????

    love always…..

  28. avatar
    hellbound heart | 3 March 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    my thoughts are with you darrin<3

  29. avatar
    D.A. | 3 March 2011 at 9:31 pm #

    Sun falling down from the sky
    Slowly gives way to the night
    Thoughts in my head
    Will they keep me from bed
    Come and take me
    Like a wind-blown leaf
    Waiting to come down
    Just when I hit the ground
    I’m off again
    Not knowing when
    Or where it ends
    It always starts the same way
    I’m lost inside of a maze
    Alone in the night
    A man without sight
    Can you hear them
    Guided by the sound
    Of voices singing strange rounds
    Just when I think I’m found
    They fade away
    Like yesterday
    From red to gray
    There are so many ways one can go
    So many things I don’t know
    Paths that are lost
    Or that have never been crossed
    Can I find them
    Have you ever tried
    To pick the locks in your mind
    As most of what you find
    Just slips away
    Like yesterday
    From red to gray

    • avatar
      Lisa | 5 March 2011 at 6:25 am #

      Thanks for posting – I really like that!

      • avatar
        D.A. | 5 March 2011 at 10:35 am #

        Hey Thanks! I wrote this piece some time ago and reading Steve’s post brought it to mind. It’s my take on the creative processs.

  30. avatar
    aedb15t | 4 March 2011 at 12:10 am #

    This is a gorgeous prayer that I needed in my professional life, today! Energy and motivation is mysterious.
    To keep finding ways to enjoy the process and the journey while the golden nail may or may not be the goal. My golden nail today may be a rusty staple tomorrow. The Spirit will guide…

  31. avatar
    Conrad Hunter | 4 March 2011 at 12:33 am #

    “The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long – and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.”

  32. avatar
    John F | 4 March 2011 at 3:51 am #

    You and Mr. Dulli should collaborate on something Steve. Would put the Gutter Twins to shame. Velvet and sandpaper.

    • avatar
      Jason (jmb066) | 4 March 2011 at 10:41 pm #

      That would be a good idea, Steve I always thought that one of the lines the way you sing them in So Love May Find Us was very Dulliesque.

      (And outside the reckless night, uncertainty delivered me) could be just how I hear it, none the less love the song and the idea.

      You know you have this blog for inspiration as well, if you were to go back through your post you probably got a 50-60 song lyrics that would be amazing with The Church’s music added to them.

      I dont think your magic will ever end or fade and it sounds like you have already have passed it on to your children.


  33. avatar
    Ron Bonham | 4 March 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    Hey, I was listening to the Starfish remaster today and a question came to mind; the opening 28 seconds of Hotel Womb is that some part of another song or a jam or the perfect intro?

  34. avatar
    dov friedman | 4 March 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    Steve,though initially there would appear to be a rather large disparity between the music of The Church and Townes Van Zandt,it seems to me that you are aiming for a similar kind of trancendence.Though he is often mentioned alongside Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan,for my taste,he is less studied than Cohen,less affected than Dylan,and ultimately more lasting than both.I think you would really appreciate him!I would humbly like to suggest that you check out the album “Rear View Mirror”–probably the best and most comprehensive view of his work in one place.
    Steve,I want to sincerely thank you for all that your music has given me since I first saw The Church on the Heyday tour in 1986!

  35. avatar
    mark | 4 March 2011 at 8:13 pm #

    Wow. And I thought it had all been said. Beautiful.

  36. avatar
    redgrevillea | 7 March 2011 at 9:15 pm #

    You’ve done a mighty job expressing your talents. Your achievements are incomparable. Because the creative depth of your output is matched equally by warmth of expression. And so prolific, too. There is much love in your work.

    but then we can all look at the sunrise and sunset and sea and birds and trees and realise that it just never ends…such is the beauty of the mystery of life!

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