posted on October 19, 2010 at 6:24 pm

enervated

feverish mind landlocked in shallow sleep

everything seems threatening oh i sink easily

sleep and sleep but still so tired

struggle so hard but get no where

talk so much but say no thing

i’m going round the square playing a triangle

i turn up like news of a distant relatives departure

from some strange lonely land

fallen behind anemone lines

a sombre day upon us in severe grey

a time ghost afternoon i cannot wake up

suddenly its all gone

gone like money

gone like love

gone like life when its all over

gone like an impulse you once had

gone like a goner into a greater unknown

people this is the language of an inner exhaustion

my linings are worn right through now

i’m braking on my brains

i’m sliding down the razor sharp future

bleeding white sap

everytime i try to stop

i salute you all

somewhere out there where there is no me

i lose track of my train of thought

and i curl up in bed

unable to lie straight

38 Responses to “bellyache”

  1. avatar
    hellbound heart | 19 October 2010 at 7:38 pm #

    oh what can ail thee, knight-at-arms
    so haggard and woe-begone…..

    love always….

  2. avatar
    eekie | 19 October 2010 at 7:39 pm #

    Well that certainly sucks. I know the feeling though (I was going to write “story of my life” but that seems way too melodramatic).

    I won’t tell you to snap out of it or cheer up — although I could seeing as you are most likely feeling too blah to reach out and give me a virtual dope slap 😉 — but I do hope the gloom starts to lift for you soon.

    Hug from eekie

  3. avatar
    falco s mate | 19 October 2010 at 7:50 pm #

    hej kilbey,
    ya sound pretty worn down, me old china plate. why dontcha forget the hue and cry, go for a stroll and dig some mother nature?

  4. avatar
    princey | 19 October 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    Get well soon sk,
    love Amanda

  5. avatar
    Lyndall | 19 October 2010 at 9:47 pm #

    Hello Steve… Just stumbled upon “The Time Being” a couple of days ago… Presented my last assessment item yesterday (for the year) – BA (Photography)so had a bit of time tonight to have a really good read. So happy to have the opportunity to touch base. I have really enjoyed reading your wise words and heart felt feelings. Check this out …I met you a couple times when I was aged between 14-16yrs -the hi-light of MY life at the time before I really had one – Have probably been to 100 gigs over the years – enjoyed them all (and I hate to admit it..) I am now 42. Holy crap… how the years get away! Your music and lyrics have had a profound effect on my life – will get into that some other time (you are tired) Steve, it sounds like you need to be kind to yourself…REST, take the pressure off…and do take care of that brilliant mind and precious heart of yours. Often the most creative minds are the most sensitive too. Sometimes energy is depleted through the process of creativity even when preceived dormant. I’m sure you know that but, like most of us need to be reminded from time to time. Too, I have had a good read of the comments -some beautiful people out there that have a lot of love for you and your family. Take special care my lovely…..Lyndallx

  6. avatar
    DavidP | 19 October 2010 at 10:11 pm #

    thought-ache
    sleep-ache
    heart-ache
    life-ache
    the awful ache?
    clear the mind
    enjoy the silence
    sleep awake
    ~~~
    somedays are better than others
    tomorrows a new day
    yesterdays gone, better that way
    now is blessed, maybe soon
    all is one, not all are undecided
    we’re all in this together
    you am I
    see you soon

  7. avatar
    . | 19 October 2010 at 10:31 pm #

    the soundtrack to my life brightfully carries on
    through the hauntings, whisperings, and joys of the songs
    i remember a time, unfortunately, with a somber frown,
    when youth was too cruel and pushed me around
    floating in a sea of mediocrity, sterile ‘ol silent town
    swallowed up my rainbows, spit them out, censored new sounds
    made a mockery of the artistry, welcome the clowns
    until one day at the local record store i found
    heyday screaming from its sleeve just to be turned round
    took it home, laid down the needle, music revelational and profound
    got to buy more of this i said unto myself, beautiful and loud
    someone once said the church can bang your head against the wall
    yet at the same time make you drift away with your head in the clouds
    i couldn’t agree more as the songs have accompanied me thus far, no doubt
    to traverse this life and all its trials, east, west, south, and north
    the film is not anywhere near complete, the actors need more music & words
    it’s not a stupid little trick, the music and its influence, infinite worth
    glide on mr. steve…

  8. avatar
    evilren | 19 October 2010 at 10:33 pm #

    I think there are some people with you on this one Steve, perhaps it is
    just a touch of madness every now and then. Try to turn your mind off
    for a while, you are stronger than you think you are.

    ren

  9. avatar
    matthew | 19 October 2010 at 11:09 pm #

    I think I know this milieu well.

    Listening to the first Jack Frost album before officeday bedtime, incidentally. Never stop loving that music.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 October 2010 at 11:27 pm #

    Go see Dr. Phil

  11. avatar
    bionicanna | 20 October 2010 at 2:53 am #

    sounds as though you’re on the verge of composing a doom / drone masterpiece.  part of me wants to see where that would lead, but i’d rather you feel better.

    one thing that helped me return to the land of the living is adding sea salt to my food and water.  high potassium veggie diets can increase salt requirements, especially if you’ve been physically active or drink a lot of water.  i carry around a camping shaker, but realsalt makes packets.

  12. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 20 October 2010 at 4:06 am #

    SK-
    Sleep is an animal that no trap can be set for. I have chronic insomnia due to physical pain. Just knowing at the end of each day that i will struggle to find comfort in the land of dreams. Yesterday i was in the hospital for outpatient surgery to inject a steroid based medicine into my spinal column at levels L4-L5. My DR. changed his mind and since my last injection had no efficacy, he suggested to do a ‘Transforaminal” injection at both L4-L5 and L5-S1. The very large needle went deeper into my back two times and during the second injection-My DR nicked my left impending nerve root, i never felt anything like that in my life. A lightning blast of pain echoed from my waste to my ankle and the rebounded several times up and down. 2 medical aides had to hold me in place as tears swelled in my eyes. The real tragic part to this is that my wife brought my 2 year-old daughter with because she wanted to see all the doctors and stuff. Before they wheeled me off to the surgery room, she gave me a big hug and told me that it was gonna be ‘ok; and kissed my cheek with a smile. When i was brought back to the recovery room where my wife and Kristina were waiting for me, they did not know that the procedure changed, i was shaking with pain and my eyes kept welling up. That really hurt my daughter emotionally. And when my Pain Dr. came in to see how i was doing 20 minutes later, she told him : “why did u hurt my daddy? He’s gonna get you back for it” and started crying. Well my Dr. (who has a god complex) saw the face of god in a small child and he was stunned to say the least. I have now been up for over 40 hours because of the pain and swelling. My baby kissed me today and said:” you will be ok daddy- that Doctor was mean-but now he will be nice”.

    kids say the oddest things…just wish i could sleep for awhile and dream of a pain free existence.

    AsAlways,
    BrokenToysAndHeros
    Darrin K.

    SORRY….if this was a downer. I am finishing up a painting right now and that is the only time the pain eases up…when im lost in thought-painting with my Church catalog filling up the spaces between awake and asleep fill the air. I have Magician… on now. i keep hitting repeat for Ritz (3rd time now)- I love that song so much-Steve…you sound like you are keeping the pain just below the surface at arms distance…disguising it for all to be unaware. Wish there was no pain for all, at all.

    • avatar
      am | 20 October 2010 at 3:03 pm #

      dear Steve,
      I happenned,beyond all coincidence,to have seen Anton “BJM”‘s absolute rant “interviewing” you via ustream just prior to having read this and…..I concurr

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 October 2010 at 4:14 am #

    like a moment. someone once told me: you can only go back to explain; if you explain forward then you are some psychic and that’s just freaky so hope is what is given forward so we stay safe in all ways. we have to for our kids… they need us.

  14. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 20 October 2010 at 4:19 am #

    ouch my stomach hurts…

  15. avatar
    dwellingwell | 20 October 2010 at 6:03 am #

    Maybe you are trying to spread a tablespoon of peanut butter over a whole loaf of bread

  16. avatar
    Rusty | 20 October 2010 at 6:56 am #

    Heres a good review for youse.
    http://blogcritics.org/music/article/the-church-deep-in-the-shallows/

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 20 October 2010 at 7:21 am #

      thanks rusty

    • avatar
      Shoffy | 20 October 2010 at 11:45 am #

      Great find Rusty, thanks for sharing. Steve you gotta be happy when someone writes that about you. Chin up mate. Shoffy

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 October 2010 at 9:52 am #

    Someone up there wrote a good line I thought I would cite:

    floating in a sea of mediocrity, sterile ‘ol silent town
    swallowed up my rainbows, spit them out, censored new sounds
    made a mockery of the artistry, welcome the clowns
    until one day at the local record store i found
    heyday screaming from its sleeve just to be turned round

  18. avatar
    dwellingwell | 20 October 2010 at 9:54 am #

    Someone up there on this thread wrote a line I quite like:

    when youth was too cruel and pushed me around
    floating in a sea of mediocrity, sterile ‘ol silent town
    swallowed up my rainbows, spit them out, censored new sounds
    made a mockery of the artistry, welcome the clowns
    until one day at the local record store i found
    heyday screaming from its sleeve just to be turned round

  19. avatar
    . | 20 October 2010 at 11:10 am #

    it’s all good steve
    you have to believe…

  20. avatar
    Lady Di | 20 October 2010 at 12:56 pm #

    Sending you soothing and calming vibes sk and a healing hug.

    Happy belated birthday to Scarlet, special little girl that she is.

    Love Di

  21. avatar
    dwellingwell | 20 October 2010 at 1:49 pm #

    To elucidate my comment about the tablespoon of peanut butter and a loaf of bread .Not sure if they even eat peanut butter in Australia. Should have used marmite instead.. Can’t see how anyone can eat that stuff,, or keep crocodiles in their back yards, but Australia has different customs than the U.S in many ways.But the human condition crosses international lines. Most people’s talent level is at the teaspoon level. S.K seems more at a tablespoon 1st rate level. But still, ones energies can get dissipated and spread too thin.(Trying to cover a whole loaf of bread) My advice is to consolidate and focus on something that speaks the essential Steve Kilbey in the 21st century. Just my 2 cents

  22. avatar
    isolde | 20 October 2010 at 2:22 pm #

    gone like my ability to comment
    gone like my faith in love
    gone like my idealism
    gone like my youth
    gone like my hope
    gone gone gone
    oh yeah
    i’m a way gone goner from goneareeah

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 20 October 2010 at 5:51 pm #

      hey sweet isolde
      now im worried about YOU!!!!
      ha!
      sk
      always on yer side darling!!

      • avatar
        isolde | 20 October 2010 at 7:16 pm #

        aww thanks sk nuthin serious I am just a gothic drama queen recovering from a reunion party I’ve got 1000 years of history, it gets a little much sometimes
        acksherly i made myself larf with the last line and cheered myself up
        sad happy song therapy you should try it, oh that’s right, you invented it!

  23. avatar
    Donna | 20 October 2010 at 2:57 pm #

    Thinking of you and wishing you well.

  24. avatar
    neptune | 20 October 2010 at 3:03 pm #

    hope the new day has brought you to new light inside. You seem to have so much going on all the time, that if you aren’t careful, it can take its toll on body, spirit, mind. You may think about scheduling a ‘time out’. ie. No appointments or work for awhile. Take a few weeks off to just chill, and do something you enjoy, that you haven’t done for awhile – cuz ya never have time to do it … whatever that may be. I know sometimes I have to take a day or two just to regroup and do nothing – lounge around, and do NOTHING, nothing, nothing. Well, kind of hard with kiddos, but you can get it figured out — you’re a smart guy.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 October 2010 at 3:19 pm #

    Perhaps your iron count is low.

  26. avatar
    Mr. Argent | 20 October 2010 at 3:58 pm #

    Tabula rasa?

  27. avatar
    dwellingwell | 20 October 2010 at 7:16 pm #

    Tonight I had this weird/interesting conversation with this Other worldian fellow . He asked, :”If there is no afterlife, and no final reckoning with a punishing God ,why don’t people simply live it up like Stalin did ?” I though of a term an old Mentor I had once used :”Hedonic Calculous” What if the full meditative way of being/thinking is actually the highest pleasure? I think your average Zen master had a way more fulfilling Life than your average Piece of pol Pottery ever could experience. Wrote this after that discussion:

    I got a Hedonic calculator
    on sale at the ontos store
    it showed amplitude on an invisible fader
    and the max of alive from being at the core

    structures from recoil and fate’s finutude
    put the gain stage in a nod out phase
    lower the gain to lower the pain
    and lower the flame to higher the daze

    through misty myth we skip down plato’s path
    all to avoid that unspeakable aftermath
    but nature says she can’t look back
    and my Hedonic calculator still only reads half

  28. avatar
    dwellingwell | 20 October 2010 at 7:36 pm #

    “to fates finitude” or “From fates finitude” . Very drafty indeed

  29. avatar
    veleska1970 | 20 October 2010 at 9:07 pm #

    rest is good for the soul. hope you get some soon.

    lotza love…..

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 October 2010 at 10:04 pm #

    How’s your thyroid these days?Very tricky gland that one,it drives your metabolism,actually the whole body really.It’s linked with all your other glands particularly adrenals,so stress is particularly detrimental to the thyroid.I’ve suffered for years first with overactive,now underactive.I’m not convinced that the tests are particularly accurate/sensitive and usually people don’t get thoroughly tested anyway.The following are important for thyroid:Selenium,iodine,Omega 3(Algae best source)and amino acids.Plus make sure your iron,B12 and vit D levels are okay too.Also check your basal metabolic rate,thats a good indication of your adrenal/thyroid health.
    Definitely take some time for YOU to relax anyways.
    Hope you feel better very soon if not already!

  31. avatar
    Freddie | 21 October 2010 at 6:51 am #

    I hate crummies in tummies :^(
    I hope you feel better soon.
    Virtual hugs to you and I have a high speed conNECTion baby!

  32. avatar
    aparadekto | 26 October 2010 at 1:19 am #

    Hey, I can’t view your site properly within Opera, I actually hope you look into fixing this.

  33. avatar
    lily was here | 29 October 2010 at 8:20 pm #

    A belly ache, a hungry heart, a feverish mind. Your body scales have tipped out of balance me thinks x


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.