posted on March 12, 2007 at 7:41 pm

today my head is filled with justabout everything
its a dark overcast morning here in nth bondi
a thousand shades of grey fill the torn sky
i can see the harbour bridge off in the distance
popul vuhs agape percolates on the machine
my feet are cold
but they usually are
i cant believe its 2007 and i have 5 daughters
i cant believe im sitting in this kitchen typing this out to you
i cant believe that i am a biped breathing gases on a chunk of rock
i cant believe that below this ordinary veneer of reality
there are a million alternative versions
i cant believe how lucky/old/whatever i am
a blue sky and a rainbow have come to dissipate the grey
the red orange and purple roofed houses
a rainbow casting its weird light
half the sky bright
half the sky still dark
the rainbow is the threshold where the blue meets grey
surely this is a sign
an omen
the sky swallows the rainbow
smothers it in photons
the rainbow becomes a crooked column of colour
as it drifts towards the heads
white flowers ….oh their divine aroma
weeds gone mad and nodding palms
and the feeling the seas not far away
everything in here still still
hyper-still
the females all still sleep
my family slumber in early autumnal shadows
unaware of the time being in the penumbra of the kitchen
the clock makes its rounds
clicking off each second
a second that brings me closer to….?
i stagger to think
i guzzle fiji water
everything seems a long way off
as if im on some peak
looking down at the past n the future
equidistant now
this is the wonder of dawn
the clear truthful time
a time for owning up
a time when the facades can crumble
i hear your questions
why why why
whispering and demanding
singing different words to the same song
coming in on different sides
with your own takes
i attract trouble
i change horses in midstream
i look at my reflection in dawns mirror
and i see nothing much
the bamboo grows in its white pot
my bonsai is already dead
but i cant bear to throw it away
the summer sun blasted it
and my neglect let it wither
morning comes whether you wanted it or not
a sad little piano piece
the water in canals is ruffled
i take leave of my body; poets can do that
up i go and my gaze stretches out
looking down thru the racing clouds
into peoples houses and hearts
gleaming kitchens and dreaming children
gardens sandpits swings and bikes
dolls houses and fish tanks
old engine bits waiting in the garage
puddles that reflect the sky flash and change
trains rushing headlong who knows where or why
faces in windows in carriages show pale concern
hearses pull up outside graveyards filled with stone angels
the grieving wander the dismal paths finding little hope
willows weep and bridges sigh
in the country the earth silently asks for rain
but the clouds go sailing by
letters uncollected in letterboxes
sad communications and bills
sheep nibble yellow grass in the dust
the oil evaporates in the motor
and rust subtly explores all the openings
the newspapers got it all in black and white
the road peters out
a sandy track goes nowhere
bearded lizards scamper away
thorns
barbed wire
keep out
old empty beer bottles
and signs of a fire
horseflies
a few drops of rain
spiteful thistles
a crescent of blood
a locked gate
ochre rubble
ants bite
a shack
damp dark
full stop

32 Responses to “beware the ides of march”

  1. avatar
    veleska1970 | 12 March 2007 at 9:25 pm #

    so much going on in the universe, all at the same time. so much confusion~~but somehow you seem to find the calm in all that chaos.

    beautiful.

    lotza love…..

  2. avatar
    mattdavison | 12 March 2007 at 9:40 pm #

    Hari Om’ Goodmorning.

    These thoughts and memory’s file away in the songstress lair of the mind.
    This will become a Cheerrch song one day..

    sk’ you are a lucky man to have the quality of tought that you do.

    Your success has gifted you that, let me explain.

    many people do not get the chance to reach those moments where the mind rolls off truths..where the miricle sprirtual sides collide and melt into a passing thought, where the feelings = the image and the words = the prolific, where the notes = the sense’s…

    If you were a stressed “straight” in a state of eternal flux’ and un-destined”.future. you would miss these thing’s so fairly obtained, as a curse, or a golden jewel..whatever you see…

    If you were a worried un-satisfied suit and tie human with the sadness of a thousand orphan children….grown men who feel like they have failed their fathers..dissapointed their mothers….in jobs that they hate..
    in bodies that they regret, and minds that they fear…

    You have passed the point of the struggle steve..those thoughts are for only a few…sadly.
    I get em sometimes..but I ain’t craked it..I dunno what I stand for or mean in this world..

    Sk you do… Father of many!!
    writer
    painter
    singer
    basser
    rocker
    poet
    blogger
    hippy
    muse
    nevet
    yoggi
    swami
    ))god……….gift’s you that, you have made it. in my eye’s anyway.
    embrace the rear gift, and never feel alone.
    m

  3. avatar
    damien | 12 March 2007 at 9:45 pm #

    I find it interesting, Steve, that you will occasionally drop in a line like “the bridges sigh” from an old Church song.

    Images such as these must have significance for you?

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2007 at 9:53 pm #

    I love reading about what you see through that little kitchen window of yours at the crack of dawn, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy,mmmmm.
    Have a beautiful day sk.
    Love always,
    Amanda
    I’m so excited about Mimesis, I’ll order my copy today, the artwork looks great, I can’t wait to hear it and see you at the launch, when was it again?????????

  5. avatar
    the dean | 12 March 2007 at 10:01 pm #

    the ides of march is the 15th

  6. avatar
    Tim | 12 March 2007 at 10:13 pm #

    I have a friend with 5 daughters, no sons.

    Experienced in the hormonal workings of the female, more than any man I know.

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2007 at 10:17 pm #

    SK,

    Appreciate your comment re the babysitter. Them’s the breaks.
    Isolde – I was talking to S.K.

    Heart-wrenching blog SK about your hard fought battle with the demon H. The harrowing nightmare that is withdrawal, especially as described by you, should surely be enought to deter even the most inquisitive. You’re right, that stuff comes direct from the devil. I really admire you for somehow finding the strength to escape from that hell. God certainly heard you that day. I’m so glad you’re still with us.

    Anyway, rest up before your big tour. It sure is a tight schedule. It’ll be nice for you to return to Budapest. I’ld like to get there myself some day. So keep us armchair travellers posted. Take care my Huckleberry Friend.

    Love
    Lady Di

  8. avatar
    nickfiction | 12 March 2007 at 10:55 pm #

    these last few posts were lovely, great images, and description…. i also quite like the ” Mimesis ” music I have heard at myspace……. thanks!!

  9. avatar
    kat | 12 March 2007 at 10:55 pm #

    i (des) was born in march. go figure! beautiful, sk.. as a side note, my feet and hands are always cold too, and it helps when i walk a few miles. must be circulatory.

    peace ;)=~~~

  10. avatar
    Symon | 12 March 2007 at 10:58 pm #

    Steve….You’ve achieved more connection with the machinations of life and death and the passage of time in one blogge than many people achieve in a lifetime.

    I hope that this connection is not fleeting for you and that you…me….we…have the chance to make a REAL difference for ourselves and everyone around us that we love or care for.

    I awoke the other night at 2am, bolt upright….with thoughts of my parents who are in their 70’s…creeping towards the inevitable. I felt so shockingly sad that their lives have just been about hard graft..sacrificing so much and struggling to raise a family…with so little time to watch the sunsets or find peace with themsleves.

    SK….this should not be our curse…not yours…not mine…not anyones. We need to make a difference with our lives now and this blogge of March 13 2007 is a timely wake up call.

    Billy Bragg lamented the loss of his father like this…

    “I closed my eyes and when I looked
    Your name was in the Memorial book
    And what had become of all the things we planned”.

    Carpe diem…my friend.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2007 at 11:32 pm #

    Matt Davison,
    Id love to embrace your rear gift.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2007 at 11:48 pm #

    beautiful images
    sk
    sometimes
    i feel like
    i just woke up
    and i’m
    amazed and
    thrilled
    to see
    what my life is
    i can’t believe it’s 2007
    i can’t believe i have
    a gorgeous husband
    2 beautiful daughters
    a wonderful family
    a grown up life
    in boulder colorado
    exactly when
    did all this happen?
    lots of love
    diane

  13. avatar
    Samosanx | 13 March 2007 at 12:58 am #

    hee haw and yippe!
    I love poetry!!!!
    a joyous bubble o’ wonderfulness eskay!

    koala girl, koala girl, koala girl; come in please koala girl

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 March 2007 at 12:58 am #

    How did i get here… to this point in my life, What a miraculous convergence of occurences…here on the Australian continent, this ancient land, this wonderfull land…., the changing of the seasons always brings reflection, that what you miss living in the tropics, it’s either hot or wet, with you slowly going mad, troppo, during the transitions…it’s great in it’s own way but having 4 distinct seasons…., Sydney does have em, don’t believe melbourneans…my garden is full of fruit, flowers, it’s lush and abundent, it’s overripe, just about to go into decay,..i love it. and it’s been raining alot lately, last evening a mist like rain enveloped the house…and i drifted off into a long… magical, dream filed sleep,,,ahh
    PV

  15. avatar
    isolde | 13 March 2007 at 1:39 am #

    sigh …

  16. avatar
    salim nourallah | 13 March 2007 at 3:25 am #

    this is beautiful steve.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 March 2007 at 4:01 am #

    mattdavison, is he a sycophant ?

    “passed the point of the struggle” ..don’t make me sick MD.

  18. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 13 March 2007 at 4:41 am #

    “craig1.618 said…
    но вы реально хотите?”

    Борщ вегетарианский

  19. avatar
    absolutely | 13 March 2007 at 4:58 am #

    Thought i’d share this with those who care: finding you

  20. avatar
    craig1.618 | 13 March 2007 at 7:53 am #

    i was wearing a disguise when i wrote that

  21. avatar
    davem | 13 March 2007 at 7:57 am #

    Thanks SK.

  22. avatar
    fantasticandy | 13 March 2007 at 10:46 am #

    steven,
    just to let you know,veg curry last night,textured vegetable protein on the table tonight.
    already being called a nut.
    just’coz kilbey sez so ect.
    yawn
    yawn
    yawn
    i’ll give it my best shot,
    even though i’m begining to stink like a horse.
    luv,
    andy L.

    p.s. i see someones having a go at matt now,calling him a sycophant.
    well join the legion of the ‘trashed’ my friend our ranks grow stronger daily!
    to all my chums on here who are ‘in the know’—-keep on keeping on, we will not be silenced.

  23. avatar
    aaddrraakk | 13 March 2007 at 10:49 am #

    …kinda reminded me of a poem of mine….

    bus

    oceans drift around us
    as we ride the terminal bus
    facial exasperations
    longing stares as tranquil
    as the night blueness
    tartan patterns in perpendicularence

    the turtlenecked lady examining
    the undulating pavement
    the wiseman resting socksandles
    on celery
    the baldpaperreader looking down
    to escape
    hairs in buns and bowlerhats

    and us sharing a couple
    of admiring glances

    in the yellow starlight

    (….well, maybe) 😉

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 March 2007 at 12:17 pm #

    talk about the me generation.

    context is everything? i guess. some subjectivity would be nice from some of you commenters.

    If you cant say something so nice its stomach turning, don’t say nothing at all. your just not giving the man much to work with here.

    so anon

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 March 2007 at 12:28 pm #

    bush woke up this morning and decided to cut some very large trees in northern cali. all for fire-prevention.

    fuck-all

    love ya sk you rock dude,
    r.

  26. avatar
    andromeda7 | 13 March 2007 at 12:37 pm #

    god that’s so very, very good. your writing tonight is my rainbow

  27. avatar
    nic | 13 March 2007 at 2:14 pm #

    have been away from the time being for a wee while – but what a piece to return to – so powerful – with such meaning – striking a chord in us all. SK you are amazing.
    “i cant believe its 2007 and i have 5 daughters” I can relate to this somewhat – although I am 35 and have 3 sons….I feel as if I have dreamed the last 10 or so years…FEELING alot younger…but feeling robbed of BEING younger …
    “i look at my reflection in dawns mirror
    and i see nothing much” – I look at your face (er.. in a photo of course…) and I see a window to a wise beautiful soul….

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 March 2007 at 3:35 pm #

    We had similar slithery skies yesterday here in San Francisco, only lately they seem to move so slowly. Sometimes not at all.

    Sitting on Mt D on Saturday, staring up at the cross and clouds could only hover and stare. Very strange.

    Stay lovely.

    drzej

  29. avatar
    Leelinau | 13 March 2007 at 3:57 pm #

    Spring has FINALLY sprung here..yay!

    “Mississippi Moon wontcha keep on shinin on me….”

    ^_^

  30. avatar
    Sunshine | 13 March 2007 at 6:15 pm #

    nic said: “FEELING alot younger…but feeling robbed of BEING younger

    Wow. I can relate to this so closely, except I’m 2 years younger and have no kids yet.

    If I listen closely, I can hear my internal clock going “tick-tick-tick” like a warning of things to come. Life’s little stop-watch.

    Isn’t that uplifting? *nervous laugh*

  31. avatar
    Melquiades | 14 March 2007 at 12:15 am #

    et tu brute?

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2007 at 12:03 pm #

    anon 3:01

    sycophant?

    you say it like its a bad thing LOL

    leave off matt d. he’s got passion, something lacking in a lot of hateful people who visit here.


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