posted on December 30, 2010 at 5:39 pm


sit at the lights its a hot fucking day

the radios all blare the mobiles all a’ringing

the future is experiencing compression

i just sit there dont i

part of the jam happy to be a part of it

all of us with our bits n pieces of paper

registrations bills receipts letters of resignation

still the sun beats down the sky is royal blue

fuck i gotta headache tho

i felt sick for a day now

my eyes swimming behind the windshield

my trigger happy feet revving the angry motor

my tanned brown arms with slightly blond hairs

my poor old mind which wont go into fourth gear

fuck its christmas isnt it

what the hell does that mean

im stuck here at the intersection of the boardwalk and neptune st

i see a woman i know crossing the road dressed in a bikini

hi steve i see her mouth through the traffic

she waves kinda sadly as i drive off

there is some kinda electrical fizz and crackle from the overhead lines

i dont remember much from certain bits of my childhood anymore

maybe ive just invented most of it anyway

the shops all having sales

please dont ask for credit as refusal may offend

something biting in and out of water

in the car next door some pretty senorita stares ahead

shes so busy shes so determined to get there

the lights change we zoom off

the background rushes by

the sea the cliffs the spectacular cemeteries

its christmas i have to remind myself

i pull into another lane and join another stream

many things flow thru my mind

the beach is packed

tanned locals and pale europeans

we wonder what drugs we will buy for new eves eve

we wonder what combinations we will try

we wonder how bad we will feel the next day

the sea must be cold i guess

i feel it vicariously through the road

the road is hot like cake

christmas cake melting in a sullen afternoon heat

christmas stretching back and back into directionless nothingness

christmases forgotten better not ever to be remembered

and thats it

the traffic stretches on n on

it doesnt matter where you going

its gonna take ages to get there

28 Responses to “braggadocio”

  1. avatar
    hellbound heart | 30 December 2010 at 6:44 pm #

    ….kinda reminds me of the opening scenes of ‘falling down’ with michael douglas in it (don’t let that turn you off)…….he’s sitting in a gridlock on a searingly hot day….fly buzzes around the interior of the car….some brat in the car in front stares sullenly at him through the back window…..a woman in the car next to him compulsively keeps re-applying her lipstick in the rear vision mirror……sweat trickles down his face and his eyes glaze behind the thick spectacles that he wears……fuck it, he gets out of the car and walks away from the whole damn mess……..

    love always…….

  2. avatar
    Richard | 30 December 2010 at 8:50 pm #

    that cemetery would have to be waverley cemetery
    some interesting folk hang out there

  3. avatar
    verdelay | 30 December 2010 at 9:23 pm #

    To my friend, the Illyrian

    It’s been a year since I was last in Bondi, more by accident than design. Of course we missed each other again. We always seem to miss each other.

    Do you remember Euboea? We sat on the beach and pieced together a new language. Our wives and daughters splashed and swam in the lagoon. The sun bleached our eyes and the cool tide of night washed slowly over us. By the fireside we drank wine and water and cracked jokes in the language we’d only that morning created.

    I haven’t seen you much since then. Our wives died. Our daughters swallowed up by the years, and we followed them into a strobe of days and nights, clothes fitted, clothes discarded, tailors bills evaded. We leave a trace, a trail: all our treasured belongings left in a series of little piles across the world, buried or plundered or simply forgotten about. “If only we were just bones” you once said. But of course, we are not. We have our legacies to think about as well.

    So it has only been a year. That’s barely a blink to the likes of you and me. Something has shifted in that time, though I cannot hope to know what; but my senses are attuned to subtle shifts and textures, and I can feel the movement beneath me, a mere hint of a tremor, as I pass from one banal episode to the next. A gear has shifted up the scale, imperceptable to most, but the consequences will soon become apparent to all.

    I don’t fear such a realignment. I cannot be accused of deterministic thinking, but there is an inevitability about some things. I’ve seen too many sunsets. I’ve observed too many tides. The man I am wearing has grown shabby, a little frayed around the edges, but he sees well enough. He at least understands that his life and my life are not the same, and yet he also understands that we are profoundly inter-twined. I show him wonders as he sleeps, and in return he gives me access to this world. If there is one thing I have learned it is not to discard a suit too soon. I might not look as sharp as I once did, but at least I can sustain some sort of trajectory. I can’t abide too much dislocation.

    But enough metaphysics. This was supposed to be a salutation, not a treatise. I send you my well-wishings, Illyrian. I hope you continue to raise your head above the parapet – what is the worst that could happen?

    And of course, I will see you ‘soon’.


  4. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen | 30 December 2010 at 9:58 pm #

    In response to some of the other readers’ comments the other day, I just wanted to add that I, too, read this blog each and every day even though I’m not commenting. Never left. Never will.

    • avatar
      Lisa | 31 December 2010 at 9:05 am #

      I also am a “regular” to TTB site but, like most of you, agree that it isn’t necessary to constantly leave a comment. We are a community of individuals brought together by the infinite talent and hypnotic power of Mr. Kilbey (Steve is the drug for me) and I’m not going anywhere!

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2010 at 12:14 am #

    Here. I had saved and was going to use this for something else I was woking on, but reading yours made me think of it again… so it’s yours

    for my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream – Van Gogh

  6. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 31 December 2010 at 12:20 am #


    I felt like a passenger in the car, amazing. I dislike traffic largely because I’v spent countless hours stuck in it, not by choice. Chicago is not the city of big shoulders, or the windy city…second city… No No no its the city of ROAD CONSTRUCTION AND RAGE !!!! And those poor souls who work on the roads here put their lives in danger every waking moment. Many young men and women have lost their lives working construction on the roads in and around the city. It is so sad to drive past workers on a mid-week afternoon, watching them work tirelessly…only to be slowed down by a temporary memorial of a cross and workers helmet on the side of a unfinished road, a poor young soul struck by a speeding vehicle. It is so sad and happens way to often, lets slow down some for their sake.

    Darrin K.

  7. avatar
    DavidP | 31 December 2010 at 12:21 am #

    yeah, it was a hot day to be sitting in traffic
    I did a bit of that today
    lots of hustle n bustle round Coogee beach
    sorry to hear you’ve been feeling unwell
    hope you are looking after yourself
    take care, be aware

  8. avatar
    cymbal | 31 December 2010 at 2:04 am #

    the big let down from a season of hope begins
    drowned in a flood of emotions… past and present, lose or win
    it’s alright to be where you are because you’re not alone
    remember the happy memories, long gone with that bright-eyed boy
    who dreamed of a brighter world filled with shiny toys, long gone
    the void, where it began, it doesn’t matter anymore…
    it’s there, it’s never gonna leave, it won’t be destroyed
    find your seat on the starship, it’s time to board
    paint a new memory, let it replace you know what…
    happy new year’s eve, steve, show us what you got…

  9. avatar
    robertmadore | 31 December 2010 at 3:24 am #

    All the best for the new year virgo brother. May we both leave the past and the future for the mind-clearing eternal present!

  10. avatar
    colette | 31 December 2010 at 7:19 am #

    Hope it’s a good thing you don’t remember certain parts of your childhood anymore. It’s a good thing when you begin to see Christmas is just another day and a long one in this climate.
    I do remember I grew up in Bronte and some of your descriptions sound so familiar.

  11. avatar
    Lyndall | 31 December 2010 at 8:26 am #

    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL … It’s 40 degrees here today and my air-con has packed it in – looking forward to celebrating the new year in the country with good friends, food and wine. Steve – I hope you feel better soon … Happy new year to you and yours. Lx

  12. avatar
    nickfiction | 31 December 2010 at 9:19 am #

    beautiful piece my brother……. much love to ya!

  13. avatar
    BigSmilesKate | 31 December 2010 at 10:18 am #

    Hey SK,

    Happy New Year friend. I hope the New Year brings you and yours health, happiness and harmony. Thank you for helping make my year more exciting and wonderful in seeing you perform so many times in various ways: writers festival GB3 Ding Dong with Mr Ricky & Co and of course Newcastle and Melbourne most recently. They say I’m a tragic and I say I’m proud of it. I never ever tire of you, your voice and your blog words and song lyrics and that gorgeous and powerful bass.

    Looking forward to the Opera House – In the meantime I’ll keep listening to my Church/SK/etc dedicated iPod.

    Thanks again and again.
    Big Smiles
    from my heart

  14. avatar
    andy | 31 December 2010 at 10:28 am #

    harry…..that was stunning,
    no wonder steve gave you a mention in ‘welcome’.

    back to yesterday….
    lara,hi!…no need to explain yourself, i was just joshin’ it’s all good.

    darrin…it’s tough giving bits of yourself away and then…waiting anxiously…hoping for a litle approval, some measure of validation perhaps.
    but maybe holly’s really busy right now, perhaps she needs time to make a properly considered appraisal of your work?
    she does have a private e-mail though y’know.
    sniping on here is not the way forward my friend……

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 2 January 2011 at 1:49 am #


      Thank you for your kind words and advisement. The difficuty regarding ‘holly’s really busy right now’ is that the email exchanges occured between 10/13/2010 – 10/20/2010 (often). That was quite a while ago, do you agree? I am done ‘sniping’ on here now regarding this matter except for this: My disappointment comes from people getting involved or commenting without the ‘entire’ facts. Yes, please come to the defense of anyone, everyone…as davem and others have. But, like I said before = review the facts, I have the right to feel ignored and hurt. I THOUGHT I was developing a relationship with a ‘new’ found friend, only to be let down.

      Thanks Andy, you always have great ‘replies’ to this site. I enjoy your insight from across the ocean.

      Darrin K.

  15. avatar
    cymbal | 31 December 2010 at 10:39 am #

    i was just listening to hologram of baal again and thought to myself,
    “what a fine piece of work; great music!”

    from a sea of tranquility to post apocalyptic uncertainty…
    the music washes over me…
    peace, renewal, fear, and serenity…
    renaissance of a lost faith, one plus three…

  16. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 31 December 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    Please be safe everyone on Friday, New Years Eve. Watch out for each other and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful, express love and kindness and ensure that those around you, people you know or just met, are safe so they can enjoy all the great pleasures and gifts that 2011 will rightfully bring.

    Jonny… have you finished ‘Powder’ already, I am wondering what your final analysis of the book will be. And be safe brother…Cuz I can just imagine the party that surrounds you as you ring in the New Year.

    Darrin K.


    Your clock is around 15 hours ahead of mine.

  17. avatar
    Caravan | 31 December 2010 at 12:31 pm #

    They were an early 70’s British prog/pop band. I really like the drumming. Really good Key change stuff on “Place of my own”




  18. avatar
    Cee | 31 December 2010 at 1:02 pm #

    in the car next door some pretty senorita stares ahead
    shes so busy shes so determined to get there

    en el carro junto al mio una bonita miss mira hacia adelante
    esta tan ocupada, esta determinada por llegar


    my feet are cold, I’m sitting in the coldest corner of the house which is odd since the sun hits it directly and for the longest time during the day. I can only surmise that the ghosties like to hang out here and work on their facebook and wikisoulpedia

  19. avatar
    Freddie | 31 December 2010 at 1:25 pm #

    Oh, I really hate being stuck in holiday traffic. I’ve hardly been out since before Christmas!
    Hope you have a fun New Year’s Eve
    but not so much so that you feel horrible the next day.
    Happy New Year’s Steve!

  20. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 31 December 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    we had snow on the mountain here this morning while some like it hot…

  21. avatar
    neptune | 31 December 2010 at 2:23 pm #

    the best way I avoid traffic is that I stay home. I hate crowds, and while one is gathering here at TBB, I can handle this type of crowd …. Wishing everyone on TBB and Mr. Kilbey a fantastic eleven, and also good health for you and all your loved ones. God bless.

  22. avatar
    Karen | 31 December 2010 at 4:05 pm #

    my 23 year old son was preparing to go to his NYE fiesta and I said ‘dont forget drink water between drinks & keep safe..his reply? oh for fucks sake Im 23 I know all
    I care I gave birth to him at 23… my youngest

    Im having a quiet nye Ive had many a non quiet one so Im happy to be doing so
    merry new year
    sk & all

  23. avatar
    trick of the light | 31 December 2010 at 4:37 pm #

    I recently moved from Sydney to Perf. – ergggh.

    I used to live in Clovelly and later in the CBD. This piece really took me back – I used to walk from Clovelly to Bronte/Bondi before work. It is a beautiful part of the world – but I really don’t miss all that traffic!

    Have a great 2011 everyone – xx

  24. avatar
    davem | 31 December 2010 at 6:48 pm #

    I hope you have a Happy New Year SK.
    2011 will bring what it will, but I do hope it’s a good ‘un for you.

  25. avatar
    sarah | 1 January 2011 at 7:11 am #

    I love your mind. nice photo of you too, btw. happy new years! twenty eleven is going to bring magick! she is steadier and less fickle then luck, few know. celebrate..soon enough twenty tens sorrows will be in the faint. many sweet kisses and happiness to you and yours. may the entire universe bend and moan for a little affection from you. xo

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