posted on May 30, 2009 at 4:38 am

one borrowed afternoon
i stumbled out
to find the watercolour world
had changed to acrylic
my imagination suddenly ran dry
terrified of the white paper/red tape scenery
i couldnt see anyway out
searched around but couldnt find it
the key i needed
i was landlocked shellshocked
surrounded by the nothing
stopping at nothing
nothing doing
pain returns
a weakness at the heart of everything
time had not waited for me
nor had 1988 come back
the strings are artificial
the light stabs my bad eye
the rainfalls in buckets
everywhere i turn
i weave groggily down the street
26 dollars in my hand
feeble lemon yellow sun cracks thru the gloom
a white haze surrounding the clouds fuzzy edges
a morbid piano lesson drifts from a house
some hopeless banger murdering mozart
i take in all the details
my mansuit is ripped and torn
and everything comes in
sound and light overpowers me
i have no space left
nowhere to put this glare and this whisper
windows like mirrors reflect themselves
blocks of flats light up with silver squares
the palm trees flop in the listless scene
the conversations go on in the corners
the music creeps under the doors from its dark place
its all overexposed and flaring into white and black
i see spots that look like moths swooping in on me from the sides
i always play my cards badly even tho i have good hands
good hands but bad fingers says the piano teacher
i hear myself breathing on tape
i hear a voice neither instrument or human
i hear the absent drummer weep
the sound leaks away
the rainbow seems to collapse
the colours that make it up
swirl into a crimson brown
and drown in the clouds
a pine tree says finally !
as it looks at the ominous sky
by now i’m rolling along the road
gliding on all four intentions
and guided by internal friction
i steer by the stars homes
i press my nose up to russell crowes hedge
i pet sydney melbas hyaena
i catch a distant ocean glimpse
i go in the drawer to win a million
i fix up my own future
i postpone my death by a few more songs
i sell off ideas i aint even had yet
i walk down in the museum gardens
where its sodden
theres my main man
mr big
the dealer of destiny
the pusher of puissance
the purveyor of sensual pleasure
the powerful one
steve?
he puts out his hand
as i shake it
a little spur goes into my palm
we shake hands for a minute
when he releases me
i stagger like a workload
i stumble like a bum
i’m all over the place at once on my knees
feel better now steve? says the mainman
i hand over my twenty six euros
he grins and gives me another small jolt
a free sample of next weeks …he says
as some enchanted evening is dragged through my head
i reach for it to savour its cosiness
but its gone…
uh uh says the mainman shaking his head
and smiling sadly
gotta wait till next week
i get the airbus home
i get off at the wrong stop
lemuria terminus says the sign
that cant be right says a voice in my ear
youve gone too far says another voice
youve done it this time…
a car pulls up
excuse me…..an old womans voice
excuse me …can you tell me where blah blah street is..?
i wade over to the car
what?
can you tell me where blah blah street is?
i look at the old duck blankly
yeah lady….this is it….youre driving in it
without saying a thanky dee
the old duck cruises off in her chrysler ghost
how fuckin’ rude…says one of them voices at my ear
then it all unravels
un ravel
meaninglessness impinges
nausea just like olde satre in mount martyr
no soundtrack
no credits
no audience
no takings
the plot may get rehashed
re hashed
re hashed for another couch potentate
or whatever
sweep up the mess
turn off the lights
take the keys back
and wait for next may

15 Responses to “cadenza”

  1. avatar
    the dean | 30 May 2009 at 8:04 am #

    Hmm…odd.. I used to live next door to the old duck…

  2. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 30 May 2009 at 8:09 am #

    ….liked the velvet underground references….

    love always….

  3. avatar
    Freddie | 30 May 2009 at 11:48 am #

    M’Lord, sounds like you’re having a down day.
    It seems that the human form can’t take extended stays in Lemuria yet.
    And they tell us that we need days like this to help us appreciate the good days…but I don’t know.
    I just hate seeing ya down. (hugs) How’s the injured peeper doing?

  4. avatar
    Richard | 30 May 2009 at 12:24 pm #

    loved that, even if I didn’t understand a lot of it

    come to think of it, I’m glad that understanding your stuff isn’t a condition of entry – I’d have given up 28 years ago with dolphins in disguise

    really enjoying KK

    I can see why ‘maybe soon’ (which I think I do understand) has been a crowd pleaser. Somehow, whenever it comes on I just want to turn it up a few notches.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 May 2009 at 12:42 pm #

    hmmm…
    felt a like that last myself last night.

    recently did family research for my mom
    to put together a family tree for her birthday. found that my great grandfather’s great grandfather was a captain in 4th New Jersey Volunteers. A loyalist who fought and was wounded at the Battle of Kings Mountain. Moved and settled in Canada in late 1700s. i think of him and those times during the revolution everytime i hear deadmans hand.

    lovin unseen unhead too.
    you sure have had a flurry of artistic activity recently. me thinks we fans are being spoiled.

    yellow roses have come into bloom in my garden…red ones wont be far behind. sun is shining, its a cool but wonderful morning in canada. quiet soon to be shattered by 9 and 5 year old. It is a good day to be alive!

    have a great day everyone!

    tim

  6. avatar
    veleska1970 | 30 May 2009 at 4:20 pm #

    i’ve been listening to U#23 and i am oh so totally digging it. there’s nothing the church can do wrong.

    lotza love…..

  7. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 30 May 2009 at 7:48 pm #

    Once again Steve combines dream, imagination and reality in an exemplary prose work that invokes existential angst.

    A member of the band Wilco died this week. Big news here because they are a Chicago band.

  8. avatar
    davem | 30 May 2009 at 8:03 pm #

    On days like those it’s best to stay out of the light.

  9. avatar
    EDD | 30 May 2009 at 8:11 pm #

    He’s never early…he’s always late…first thing you learn is that you always gotta wait…..

  10. avatar
    iseult | 30 May 2009 at 10:08 pm #

    my fave songs on KK are Maybe Soon and Thought of Leaving

  11. avatar
    loolaabillions | 30 May 2009 at 10:30 pm #

    ahhh

    meaninglessness impinges
    they’ll getcha every time!!

    lov’n to you…xx

  12. avatar
    princey | 30 May 2009 at 11:39 pm #

    Maybe you’re feeling this way because the thought of leaving home soon isn’t a nice one (we’ll miss ya too).
    Hope you feel better today sk.
    Love Amanda
    P.S. To all fiends: KK interview on ABC Radio Sydney @ 10.30am according to KK twitter

  13. avatar
    heathen | 31 May 2009 at 4:08 am #

    hey kilbey. you still eating that soy crap? i warned you about your baseneck.

  14. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 31 May 2009 at 5:35 am #

    “i couldnt see anyway out
    searched around but couldnt find it
    the key i needed”

    ~

    i walked an hour ago
    by the palais
    in st kilda

    an unusual looking man
    sitting on the grass
    playing an unusual instrument
    sang:
    “a million angels dancing on a pin
    they’re levitating and falling”

    that’s all i heard

    i thought of sk’s wolfe…

    “it’s like a thousand little angels on the point of a pin”

    i searched around
    for the key
    and found its source.

    this is the way out…

    The Peace Song

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 May 2009 at 6:41 am #

    Whatever is there to say
    transported once again
    to places familiar and strange
    on some warm ineffable wind
    by words like marvelous inedible fruits..
    thanks

    C.C.E


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