posted on October 23, 2006 at 10:13 pm

wow britneys hot new body
(shes become a mortician)
jen n vince mad as hell over those rumours
(ooohhh! watch out!)
has madonna gone too far ?
plus how brooke got back in shape
(had her head amputated)
in 2 minutes youll have real healthy looking skin
(hey ms gullible , they talkin to you!)
jennifer garner walks down the aisle
(but she finally found the baked beans)
hughjackman answers questions from his fans
george clooneys great celeb roast
(i just put an apple in their mouths n cook em slowly!)
brad n angelina in airport row
(brad n angelina phelps, that is, from hobart)
with love from hilary duff…a new fragrance
(smells a bit duff actually)
heidi klumb n seal in penguin tragedy shock
courteny cox?
(not lately, have you?)
no way….danni minogue out pissed n partying?
no i dont believe it……..!
wrinkle decrease collagen filler
wrinkle reducing treatment
collagen biospheres expanding to fill in yer disgusting OLD WRINKLES
quickly you hag
buy this product and be…
or be damned with those wrinkles
you teenage bag!!!!
cathy zeta jones woke up n felt old age creeping up on her..
oh sorry it was michael dogless….
pete doherty n kate moss off drugs?
like fuck!
kevin federline…..celebrates new son asparagus spears
bono launches charity gala event/festival workshop….
christian millioinaires eye of a needle club
paris busted with pot!
whatta waste …good pot on that braine!
keanu n lindsay dating? do you give a fig?
posh n becks……next week…bosh n pecks

55 Responses to “CELEBRITY”

  1. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 23 October 2006 at 10:48 pm #

    My neighborhood celebrity rag”
    Trisha gets back with old boyfriend Matt, she denies they’re an item.
    Sean and Kate take Bud Bud camping, bear scare!
    Rene and Iris have a fight, cancel dinner.
    Helen admits herself into hospital, mystery illnes.
    Jerry still walking in his sleep!
    Cee has watercolor painting accepted to UCSF art show, will her ego destroy her?
    Read all the details at:

  2. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 23 October 2006 at 10:58 pm #

    so what will you say bout me when YOU ALL turn me into a celebrity of sorts or am me going to be hidden from the world forever…

  3. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 23 October 2006 at 11:04 pm #

    Well! Now I don’t have to do my gossip blog round-up for the day. AMAZING INSIGHTS. HILARIOUS. I didn’t think I’d see the day you’d talk of K.Fed. HAHA.

  4. avatar
    whitewatersky | 23 October 2006 at 11:16 pm #

    insert Benny Hill music now….

    courteny cox?
    (not lately, have you?)

    ha !

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 October 2006 at 11:27 pm #

    There’s only one rich & famous hollywood celebrity that I read about who is genuinely happy, proud and comfortable with his old age, his wrinkles, his puffy eyes, his grey hair, his use of viagra, etc…every time I see a pic of this guy he’s got the biggest smile from ear to ear and he really looks content. What’s Hugh Hefners secret to happiness?!!!


  6. avatar
    veleska1970 | 23 October 2006 at 11:31 pm #


    steven. steven. please, please, PLEEZZZ don’t pollute your wonderful blog with tabloid trash.

    i know you can do whatever you want, but i implore you.

    now back to our regularly scheduled time being…..

  7. avatar
    sue cee | 23 October 2006 at 11:53 pm #

    Whats sad and scary is that even though I try and avoid that kind of stuff like the plague I still know who SK is having a go at!

  8. avatar
    limebeaver | 24 October 2006 at 12:32 am #

    come now lovely commenters… Steve is saving us the hassle of switching off our brains and switching on our tvs!
    I couldn’t give a flying fook about celebs but in this diverting format it’s in perfect bite size belittling chunks.
    Thanks for the goss SK, see you in Veganland.


  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 12:43 am #


    Phew thats better – more strength to you brother. I hate the e-celeb tripe almost as much as you do.
    Love Celticat

  10. avatar
    sue cee | 24 October 2006 at 12:48 am #

    sk – i’d love to c u write a take on celeb gossip back in say King Arthur’s day, Shakespeare, Cleo etc – choose an era

  11. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 24 October 2006 at 1:04 am #

    “What’s Hugh Hefners secret to happiness?!!!”

    He’s dating 3 blonde chicks more than half his age! (and it’s a good show, hehe)

  12. avatar
    ambnt1 | 24 October 2006 at 1:04 am #


    I’m with Veleska on this one. Keep this up and your blogg’ll be down to #102 soon, just beating out 5-year-old Katie’s Barbie blog. The integrity meter hovering close to negative digits right now. Save yourself. Anything better than this, bring back Bloggsy! 🙂


    n.p. Sostrah Tinnitus, “Favo di Fiele” (mo’ ambient dronnnnnnnne..)

  13. avatar
    Belfrank | 24 October 2006 at 1:10 am #

    Killa – I pit the fools who are too pretentious to enjoy your humour – I laughed my *** off – and so did Marie-Laure. Nicky S will love this and yesterday’s too.
    Thanks – the blog still rules – keep up the variety.

    Frank D the Belfmeister of Bostonia

  14. avatar
    Belfrank | 24 October 2006 at 1:18 am #

    PS – Have you finished your portrait of Jessica Simpson I commissioned?

  15. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 October 2006 at 1:32 am #

    i got the joke. really!! i got it that steve is pointing out that the entire mess is one big circus and the irony is you can’t help but laugh because it’s so tragic and sad.

    **gee** i’m so glad i’m a nobody…..i surely wouldn’t want to end up in some olde basse player’s blog as a joke. **gasp**

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 2:13 am #

    Saucer of milk for Valska!

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 2:16 am #

    Yep Valeska – give SK a break – stick on a Pats Cline CD and go read Yanni’s Blogalopolis deere.

  18. avatar
    calling down baal and zeus | 24 October 2006 at 3:15 am #

    asparagus spears ..i must say is so very funny ..i have tears of laughter all ova ma face..

    too much..oooooo boy..sometimes sure do rattle the funny bones..

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 3:22 am #

    You’re in fine form sk, glad to catch up with all the celeb goss,
    new job as commentator for the stars?

    Love Therese

  20. avatar
    eek | 24 October 2006 at 4:17 am #

    You are wickedly funny Steve. I love it. 🙂

  21. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 24 October 2006 at 4:50 am #

    Celebrity Pox!? Steve, you’ve outpoxed even Rodney with that one!!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 4:55 am #

    for someone who claims not to care, you seem to know a lot about these celebs and pop culture shite..I think you have must have a secret stash of celebrity ‘news’ mags under your bed.

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 5:53 am #

    funny anon 2.55. celeb stuff is shoved in your face everywhre you look and go. sk is a super sponge absorber taking everything in with those wise eyes of his and then spitting it all out. Very funny blog stevemeister.

  24. avatar
    mattdavison | 24 October 2006 at 6:25 am #

    Can’t ya all see sk’s brilliant Irony..Sk hates the bullshit world of celebrity..No infact it hurts him at his base level of existance.
    And why you may say. Because it dumbs us down to complete idiots
    People who watch soaps, every night at seven, people who race to pic up (people, cosmo, Who’ fuccin weekly..I should know i’ve been in them.(refuse to read em)
    the masses worry about the most shallow bushit, and we at the time being will not stand to see this morbid celebrity fasination go any where near our creative soulful minds.
    “Now Velesska (glad to see you changed your pic)…get with the program”
    Signing off from Gordon Victoria, Australia


  25. avatar
    stealthblue | 24 October 2006 at 6:28 am #

    Yeah, what a shame to waste that good pot on little Miss Skank…well, I bet at least her dealah got paid REALLY well for it!! I bet that would be hysterical to find out how much he took her for! HE-HE!! “Jes, Miss Heelton, this is the finest ‘Yerba de Tierra Azteca’ (ie: Mexican DIRT WEED), I geef ju wan poun por seex meelien dollersss! Es good, no??”

    Loved the blog, Sir. You have been on a roll lately. Personally, I find it refreshing to have these variances as of late. I love how you can make us cry and piss our pants with laughter, then make us cry actual tears with total sincerity regarding ALL things considered in which you write about. I am your humble student. Thank you for enriching my life.

    Oh, and hey, Veleska, those of us who know you, love you. Don’t sweat these masked marauders…besides they can’t even spell your name 😉

    Peace, fellow humans…
    Ben V.

  26. avatar
    daniel 27, 9 | 24 October 2006 at 7:32 am #

    Hmmm, for the first time in a year I like the comments better than the blog itself…

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 7:37 am #

    ‘Why exist to be bitchy?’
    (Steve Kilbey, Drum Media 1992).

    Then again, sometimes it’s fuckin funny, eh!

  28. avatar
    The Other One | 24 October 2006 at 7:45 am #

    “hughjackman answers questions from his fans
    “plus how brooke got back in shape
    (had her head amputated)”
    Ohmy. This dark English-in-cape humour makes a hysterical controverted couple with shining-armour Veganism/Hinduism. It’s a carnival of sorts. It’s a senseful paradox to me.

    Now, the Bloguides of the blokes here are hilarious too. Almost as there were more heads amputated around. Arriba Guernica!

  29. avatar
    Melissa | 24 October 2006 at 7:57 am #

    I don’t care 🙂 You made me laugh so much today when I really needed it!

    as eek said, you do have a wicked sense of humour and I love it!

    muchos gracias!

  30. avatar
    Melquiades | 24 October 2006 at 8:05 am #

    esskay, you’re on a tabloid fevered pitch
    this is funny stuff.

    Have you changed your subscription
    from Homes & Gardens to The Courier-Mail?

    ha. ha. ha.

  31. avatar
    Melquiades | 24 October 2006 at 8:06 am #

    ah yes, I’ve just got my music up

  32. avatar
    verdelay | 24 October 2006 at 8:33 am #

    …on both your houses.

    Yeah, the one in L.A. AND the one in West Footscray.

  33. avatar
    captainmission | 24 October 2006 at 8:54 am #

    ha, some people take their celeb gossip to seriously, it’s all fiction, may as well have some one with a sense of humour and a good imagination write it.

  34. avatar
    don joe | 24 October 2006 at 8:57 am #

    I’m reminded of two songs:

    North, South, East and West.


    Youth Worshipper.

    You should grab the coat tails again for a quick fling with non-reality Steve..? Maybe too much time on one’s hands to read n hear about what’s goin on…? Maybe,,,be nice to see a series of paintings of your perceptions of these moments you write about…hmmm..asparagus spears being born… guess it would be sealed tight from….I dunno. If this is what u wanna doo for a bit, I’m cool wid it. I guess we all have a little piece of us who likes to follow the gossip trail once in a while. If it makes people laugh then it’s fine wid moi.

    don joe

  35. avatar
    anothermouse | 24 October 2006 at 9:11 am #


  36. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 October 2006 at 10:20 am #

    thanks, ben. people obviously don’t understand MY sarcasm…heh heh heh…

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 10:30 am #

    Oh please, please,pleezzz Veleskat1970…Give us a break! Just because you changed your photo, we don’t need to see it 4 times in a day for f…. sake!!
    move on luv!

  38. avatar
    donsoulmat | 24 October 2006 at 10:48 am #

    Wow! When it all gets a bit much at the end of the day, thank goodness we can escape with music and this brilliant blogg site!! It certainly keeps me sane.
    You sure hit the nail on the head with this one steve.
    How unfortunate,that alot of people have fallen victim to the over commercialised, materialistic society in which we live. They lack inner beauty and as the song says..”if you tolerate this, then your children will be next”…
    we must teach them with wisdom and soul and keep them in touch with what life is all about..

    Steve, you are a magician among the spirits..x

    ps. Hope you are enjoying your m.honey face cream!

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 10:51 am #

    Steven, remember those skits on tv years ago where they’d adlib offscreen to a serious tv show? You’d be really good at that!

    I LMAO today!!! Hurts to sit down now!

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 11:13 am #


    This blog i’m guessing you had a pre copy delivered to ‘who’ magazine, who appears to have covered every topic from your blog!


  41. avatar
    restaurant mark | 24 October 2006 at 1:22 pm #

    you’re a witty fella lately…i’ll never look at the mags in the grocery checkout the same…good!
    take care.

  42. avatar
    Trickster | 24 October 2006 at 1:22 pm #

    Rimbaud is heaving in his drunken grave.

  43. avatar
    CSTCoach | 24 October 2006 at 2:01 pm #

    Well said. who could give a shit about the mundane lives of these people? and why would they? i don’t even recognize the vast majority of the names anymore, ever since i kicked in my tv and burned down the multiplex.

    i find it very sad to see how the vast majority of people live their lives at second hand. through the telly. sports fans are a great example (I am NOT one of those!). Who’s the guy that knows every baseball statistic and every single player from the beginning of the game, and can regale you with endless anecdotes? The fat couch potato who never misses a game (but has never played one). They come to feel that the victories and defeats of “the team” were their personal victories and defeats, and yet they’ve never lifted a finger to do anything in their entire lives (short of press the remote). Their memories and their stories are all someone else’s. what a sad way to trickle away this precious life.


  44. avatar
    indigoruby | 24 October 2006 at 2:04 pm #

    David Bridie played the ham
    At a local school fete on Saturday
    A set of covers with a bit of a diva turn:
    Total Eclipse of the Heart
    And then Chrissie’s I Touch Myself
    Kiddies bopping (er, I mean groovin’)
    and parents sniggering
    Maybe you could take a leaf but go the whole hog,
    Drag style for the vegans
    With an ode to our Nic: the fish-n-chip-shop-blues
    Or do something for the kiddies not touching themselves
    Like Banarnias in Pyjarmias

  45. avatar
    JJ | 24 October 2006 at 2:22 pm #

    Yesterday’s mention of Willie Nelson – I’m a day late in catching up on my TimeBeing – it WAS funny/affirming that he was recently busted for 1 oz of pot and mushrooms on his tour bus. I don’t care for his music, but at 60+, I gotta admire his spirit and attitude!

    Have you stumbled into a neighbor’s trash bin and snatched their gossip magazines?


  46. avatar
    daniel 27, 10 | 24 October 2006 at 2:47 pm #

    C’mon Veleska, hit ‘m hard!

  47. avatar
    matthew | 24 October 2006 at 4:11 pm #

    Yes, they creep me out severely every time I visit the long, dull line at woolies… mostly I avert my eyes… demurely of course.

  48. avatar
    davidcwelker | 24 October 2006 at 4:11 pm #

    saved me a trip to the super market.

  49. avatar
    ambnt1 | 24 October 2006 at 5:32 pm #

    In a recent “edition” of National Enquirer, megastar PRINCE is reportedly witnessed inside a strip club preaching to the dancers about the evils of stripping, and wishing them “God Bless you.” This from the man who wrote the songs “Head,” “Get Off,” and “Cream.” Begs the question: what was he doing there in the first place?? Final analysis: don’t believe everything you read!!!

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 6:03 pm #

    ya need ta turn off them boobtube ragreadin’ your doin’ chi gong bay-bee!

    After everything now this?

    lurv, theglynnisjohns

  51. avatar
    stealthblue | 24 October 2006 at 6:19 pm #

    I dig Willie Nelson actually. JJ, It was funny how they made this big deal about “busting” Willie Nelson with these “abhorrent” substances. WAY TO GO FEDS!! YOU DID IT!! (Yeah, right) They couldn’t get any real criminals so they gotta go after 70 some odd-year old Willie Nelson whos been touring and puffing for freakin YEARS! “Let’s do some good, boys, we gotta take this old hippie. He’s ruining our society!!” Talk about “shooting fish in a barrel!” That must have been their “back-up” bust, just so that you can see your “tax dollars hard at work”…busting harmless old rockers. Even if you don’t particularly like his music, EVERYONE knows that Willie Nelson and Pot are synonymous!! That’s like saying “YEAH, COPS, you painted the skies blue in HAWAII! What would we have done without you??” Jesus Christ, they’ll sell anything to make themslves look pious and righteous. What a joke.
    Anyway, hope you are all havin’ a groovy day…

  52. avatar
    davem | 24 October 2006 at 6:28 pm #

    Hi SK,
    I wish Pete Doc would learn to play that effin guitar & how to perform.
    He sums up all that’s shite about our culture at the moment.
    He’s got all the exposure and the hype but musically he hasn’t done anything of worth since the libs and they were mostly unfufilled potential.
    I enjoyed catching up with 3 days of yon blogges after a break by the sea.
    Love you more,

    Dave M

  53. avatar
    Chela | 24 October 2006 at 8:10 pm #

    …doing the research for that entry must have been painful…i can only stand the sight of blinding white teeth for mere seconds…
    bye…goin’ surfin…

  54. avatar
    syrinx | 24 October 2006 at 8:49 pm #

    Like davem I also enjoyed catching up on the blogs. A few days of non-updated blackscreen makes us itchy. See what you’ve gotten yourself into?

    I had a bunch of useless stuff to say on popstar culture, fashion and beauty but I can sum it up with two things:

    1) I never turn the tv on in the daytime anymore – I used to do it during periods where I had to be solitary for months, background white- noise factor but have kicked that habit. ‘Cause it seeps in even if you’re just going from room to room getting stuff done. You begin to think these people look “sleek”. SMACK! Silence or music – nicer options. You can, like…hear birds and so forth. Even an MSNBC loop starts to wear you down. Plus, the Science/Discovery/History/indie movie Channels all kick into high gear at night anyway.

    And 2) The E! Channel will turn you into a crack-whore. You can get the gist of it all, the celebuverse, with one solid day of watching, but be warned. I’ve been through E! Channel rehab myself and I know this. It is not herbal.

    Your riff on Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban was priceless, btw.

  55. avatar
    leelinau | 25 October 2006 at 6:13 am #

    whatta waste …good pot on that braine!

    hehe…isn’t THAT the truth…


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