posted on December 24, 2006 at 7:32 pm

i cant believe the kids arent awake yet
its that big kahuna of all days
when kids get loadsa stuff
they dont really know the reason
and who cares anyway
if yer pair-ants give ya 500 bucks werth of toys
yer not gonna hang round and ask why why why?
at least i knew the story of baby jesus….
i wasnt sure what that had to do with my new battery powered tank
but at least i could draw some tenuous connexion
i start to try to tell story at our chrismas eve (n aurora) dinner
i start tellin em about ole king herod
how he wansta kill all the boys to get the right one
elli interrupts
no daddy thats pharoah n moses
no elli this was jesus n herod
no daddy was pharaoh n moses in the bullrushes
bullrushes? bullshit!
im talkin bout fucking king herod
you know
salome
johhny the bapp-tist
the 3 wise guys
i start reading my gideons bible that i nicked from a hotel to em
after a couple of lo n beholds
and a few it came to pass
the kids have totally lost any interest in our saviour
seems that all the kerfuffle surrounding his “birthday”
has totally obscured whatever message he had for them
you mean im sposed to be interested in some dead guy
who may have been called something else
who wasnt actually born today
who may have never existed…?
cant we just play with yonder toyz?
santa claus
why santa?
shouldnt it be san claus as in san francisco
not santa as in santa maria
is santa are friggin tranny?
and all those elves……
are elves christian?
im confused…..
isnt everyone?
uh oh
the doodles are now up
creeping around with wide open eyes
trying to get all the sleepers interested
now theyre hanging round our “tree”
but our tree never been in no forest…..
its metl n paper
can we start our pressie giving before twillies get up….?
n twillies never get up before about 12
ooh clash of agendas
twillies reckon shoulda been last night for pressies anyway
the euro way
no but we have to do it first thing chrissie day
so kiddiwinks have broken or bored with all stuff by noon
its a rainy day here too
thats unaustralian…..bad whether at chrismis
whoever hoid of such a thing
ok im gonna go now
will be back later for xmas re-cap
santa killer

50 Responses to “chris-mist , see zones grating, you’ll tide, commercial oppurtunity, celebration of birth of israels boy-king, candy caines, tinsel and being jolly.”

  1. avatar
    ambnt1 | 24 December 2006 at 8:10 pm #

    Ho ho hum.

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 December 2006 at 8:12 pm #

    Dunno about Euro way, but in England the presents are still opened opened first thing on xmas day, yup.

  3. avatar
    jen | 24 December 2006 at 8:54 pm #

    steve and all the kilbeys,

    merry, merry from detroit.

    love jen, steve and simon

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 December 2006 at 8:56 pm #

    We like to strech the unwrapping out. We’d let them open one gift on christmas eve, several on christmas day and then one package a day for the next 3 or 4 days. The kids would complain at first but then realized it make the holidays that much more fun as each day they’d get another gift.

    It is a balmy 80 degrees here in Florida here now – love it!

    ed in fl

  5. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 24 December 2006 at 8:58 pm #

    Steve,

    I find it very funny that as children, my brother Steven and I would wake up at the ungodly hour of 5am or so on the 25th and BEG my parents to get up so we could open pressies (the American way I guess)…and my poor parents would be saying “Five more minutes of sleep…five more minutes…”

    Now it’s all reversed. If I stay over at my mum’s she will say “Everyone – it’s almost 10am! Get up!” And we’ll grumble and say “Five more minutes…come on mum…”

    Ha. How things change.
    Happy Christmas Steve and the entire Kilbey clan.
    love always,
    denise
    xxoo

    P.S. the queen is so happy to be back and very grateful to sk for thinking of her…:)

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 December 2006 at 9:43 pm #

    i like this reporter on the edge thing. i mean being a day ahead or whatever makes you see nostradamus-like. of course, it’s like you’re molding the day for us.

    weird,
    rmchagf

  7. avatar
    Daberhasher | 24 December 2006 at 10:27 pm #

    little ee opened up the lute
    on Christmas Eve…
    now i know, ’twas the Sweedish way…
    but now i’m a dyed in the wool
    Christmas morning man…
    all Robert Frostian in my
    New England enclave and whatnot…

    strolled the woods today,
    on the lookout for moose…
    none to be found…
    warmish, no snow and loads of mud
    from yesterdays rain…
    uncharacteristic hear a swell……

    my best wishes for a fine time
    go out to you and your angels…

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

    aloha,
    ee

  8. avatar
    CSTCoach | 24 December 2006 at 10:49 pm #

    Hope you and your family have a great christmas, SK (even if they aren’t listening to the stodgy old storyteller in the corner ๐Ÿ˜‰

    A dull xmas over here. Sunny and green today, but rain tomorrow for the 25th. We’re usually buried in snow by now. Tis odd.

    Living in this new town where we don’t know a soul. Heading to my hometown tomorrow 5 hours away for the obligatory dinner. Just isn’t the same since my dad died last year. I don’t want to go at all. To be honest I’d rather be by myself somewhere, off expeditioning. Oh well, at least I can look fwd to the choich on the drive down.

    Will be offline for a few days, but i look fwd to catching up on the ole TimeBeing on my return.

    ryan

  9. avatar
    CSTCoach | 24 December 2006 at 10:52 pm #

    Oh, and merry xmas to all my fellow regulars here in blogland!

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. avatar
    restaurant mark | 24 December 2006 at 11:23 pm #

    hope you have a great day. my kids are bouncing off the walls…not quite bedtime yet. they can’t wait for the morning! don’t blame them for being so excited…i remember 6. raining here too…supposed to all day tomorrow…oh well…ho, ho, ho!

  11. avatar
    restaurant mark | 24 December 2006 at 11:28 pm #

    can’t say merry christmas again…it would be overkill i think…

  12. avatar
    fantasticandy | 24 December 2006 at 11:41 pm #

    my eldest daughter,camille did us all a ‘special’ christmas eve supper.i am now off to bed after 3 solid hours cleaning up all the mess she created in the process!——-bah humbug. if yer a pal of the bloody big blogstar, then i guess yer a pal of mine too, so peace and love and health to you all.—oh,and steve,i think ‘lullabye’ is the coolest crimbo song ever. love andy L.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 December 2006 at 11:42 pm #

    me Xmas is just another day of me end days thrillogy…
    Ne iko

  14. avatar
    mandn | 24 December 2006 at 11:52 pm #

    Merry Christmas everyone!

    off to see the fam and have some pre-christmas fun.
    (which is otherwise known as every other day of the year)

    Merry Merry and Cheers to you all!

    xo
    Mary

  15. avatar
    damien | 25 December 2006 at 12:00 am #

    Try Xmas in Perth next year, folks. Hot! Hot! Hot!

    All the best to you and yours today, Steve.

    Thank you for making the effort to write today too!

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 12:06 am #

    Merry Christmas to you and your family!
    Thanks for writing today!

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 12:10 am #

    merry christmas to the kilbey’s and everyone else out there.
    We have opened all gifts up in northern norway and all children was very pleased.My little baby daughter Kaja Josefine was very pleased.She is almost 2 and loved all the empty boxes.She could put things up in them and her new baby dolls fits very well in the box.

    The old father was graced with a huge number of new cd’s and can’t find the bed.great music in the dark night.

    have anice night or day where ever you are.

    T-A

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 12:53 am #

    Who (tried to) put the Christ back into Christmas? you did baybee, you did.

    Merry Christmas to you, NK, and those 5 precious gifts xx

  19. avatar
    Samosanx | 25 December 2006 at 1:33 am #

    Try xmas in Darwin damien! blisteringly searingly boiling!

    Last night’s tv was a toss up between everybody loves raymond and Adelaide church chrissy carol and prayer thingy, obviously I chose the latter….some of those carol/prayer songs aren’t bad – one was almost pop, but my favourite was sung in Latin and called magnum something, which i finally figured out means “Big”…so have learned summat this season..

    good on you Steve for teaching the kids about culture, even if it is weird and strange, it helps to reference some things in life (weird and strange. good point about san ta

    mxmas

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 1:36 am #

    See you and the twillies soon. Have a good one and thinking of you all. Down the coast avoiding everyone successfully. Love Tiny Tot

  21. avatar
    isolde | 25 December 2006 at 2:27 am #

    thanks just what i wanted
    there’s a bit missing tho
    where’s the box it came in?

  22. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 25 December 2006 at 2:33 am #

    “the kids have totally lost any interest in our saviour
    seems that all the kerfuffle surrounding his “birthday”
    has totally obscured whatever message he had for them”

    ah…the message!!

    so many messengers…but just one simple message!

    here’s a 21st century version!

    SIMPLE

    Flawless light in a darkening air
    Alone…and shining there
    Love will not elude you
    Love is simple

    I worship this tenacity
    And the beautiful struggle we’re in
    Love will not elude us
    Love is simple

    Be sure to know that
    All in love
    Is ours

    And love, as a philosophy
    Is simple

    I am calm in oblivion
    Calm, as I ever have been
    Love will not elude me
    Love is simple

    Be sure to know that
    All in love
    Is ours…
    Is ours…

    That all in love
    Is ours

    And love, as philosophy
    Is simple…
    And ours…

  23. avatar
    leelinau | 25 December 2006 at 2:50 am #

    lalala

    lala la

    la

    HH!
    xo

    ^_^

  24. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 25 December 2006 at 2:53 am #

    Happy holidaze and such! Children are the ones who appreciate this holiday the most, and I’m sure it will be a grand ol’ time for yer fam. Me, I’m much more of a fan of New Years.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 3:36 am #

    Merry Christmas Baybee!

    It’ll be 80 degrees F tomorrow
    here in this desert.

    I want snow!

    Love, Peace and Joy to you and yours

    Maxine

  26. avatar
    ho..ho..ho.. | 25 December 2006 at 4:23 am #

    please enjoy a look at this little video…

    x-mas unmix

    luf mem

  27. avatar
    The crusade twas the night blurred before christmas | 25 December 2006 at 4:28 am #

    You
    the sugar-plums children were nestled in my below.
    when, people so still falls see what was the anyhow just for racking my and like miniature sleigh, reindeer.

    well it heart inside your and gathering speed inside coursers the lake
    and the just for I flew and shouted, blind was there’s muddy shoes mid-day I did eight to objects me
    dancing stirring, not even a mouse.
    the stockings there.

    sometimes never wanted to
    ah, knew in a the said to should appear,
    but a in my mind
    a fire said twas the night before know I know I never in their and threw up you know I never sprang hopes that st nicholas anybody home I ask once astray
    just like they sash.

    the rusty the wondering eyes through flew like a cool and to clatter,
    I sprang from such a its hold I tread when the darkness loses against the moving are pumping my veins and a matter.
    away to the way

  28. avatar
    captainmission | 25 December 2006 at 4:31 am #

    merry xmas to all kilbey bloggers, i am not sure what christmas is all about anymore, any ideas?

  29. avatar
    Belfrank | 25 December 2006 at 5:42 am #

    Tis Christmas here in the ewe eh say at last. My first one in the land of plenty.
    Before I crawl off to bed anticipating Thomas’ early rising, let me wish you and all your girls and ladies a very happy Christmas together. Hope the day’s going well and I’ll talk to you soon.

    Space Rock on into 2007 brave Killer.

    Love
    Jingle Belf

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 5:46 am #

    Thanks for taking the time to write on your birthday oh saviour ๐Ÿ˜‰

  31. avatar
    indigoruby | 25 December 2006 at 6:31 am #

    Coldest Xmas day in Melbourne since 1935 apparently; supposed to be 16. Very dark sky and at about 2:30 it was even hailing. Played with some kids I hadn’t met before and helped the two girls put their new scrap-booking kits together. The Gemini 7-year-old had too much sugar and was bouncing off the walls: pretending to be a monkey and screeching. I chased and tickled her, hoping to wear her out, but it just made her more loopy. Going off for a nap to recover…

  32. avatar
    lebuaf | 25 December 2006 at 7:00 am #

    ole druid….

    where will you lead us to in 2007?

  33. avatar
    flowerpower | 25 December 2006 at 7:11 am #

    If Jesus now appeared would he would be gunned downed fast by some nutter eg C I A?

    Wild winds…hail…thunder…too much pudding.. getting sloshed with parents and friends……
    the bay is roaring….the odd soul braving the salt…no swimming today!

    Merry xMas chrich fiends

  34. avatar
    Dark Eyes - Noosa | 25 December 2006 at 7:28 am #

    Christmas greetings to you Steve, and all your family. Yup, was a 5am start for us as our 7 year old entered our room and announced with glee…”santas been!”.
    It’s been all go from there. Just
    balancing out now by listening to P=A after all the carols!
    Peace and Love,
    Bec xx

  35. avatar
    eek | 25 December 2006 at 9:40 am #

    I must say I celebrate the secular “hang out with family, reflect on life, think of and do nice things for others” kind of Christmas rather than the religious “birth of Jesus” bit since that’s really not my thing anyway. I think both are valid. Either way it’s as meaningful as each individual makes it.

    I love your description of the doodles — I can just picture them itching to get to the loot! Hope the day was wonderful for you and your family SK.

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 10:42 am #

    Hope you had a great xmas day sk. I didn’t think you’d make it back later!
    Love & kisses,
    Amanda

  37. avatar
    mtv | 25 December 2006 at 10:45 am #

    hey Kilbey

    I don’t do xmas so don’t expect a merry something from me. No offence!
    I took in 2 foster kittens the other day, so today was all about them. I’m sure they feel it’s christmas for them though, with all those toys, all that food, all that attention, all that love.. ah yes, LOVE! Isn’t that what xmas is all about? I guess I do xmas after all!

    much love ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Megan

  38. avatar
    sir gareth of knotts | 25 December 2006 at 11:35 am #

    me and my hangover would like to wish stevie killerbee,the family, the band,frank,davem,and all the other commentors a great xmas n new year!!!

  39. avatar
    fergal | 25 December 2006 at 12:28 pm #

    get on it killer
    ~

  40. avatar
    cita | 25 December 2006 at 12:30 pm #

    I love your blogs best when they make me laugh. Your kids like mine keep us true to ourselves. I liked picturing you trying to tell the original bible story and them not having a bar of it.(maybe you needed your pipe) My two were up at dawn scuttling up and down the hallway whispering excitedly that Santa had come. It was funny to listen to them .
    They went back to bed and waited patiently for us to wake up. I lay in bed thinking about Christmas time as a kid and our big shiny fake silver tinsel tree. Nice to hear about your day.

  41. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 25 December 2006 at 1:16 pm #

    Santa has been and gone, wrapping paper, cards and presents everywhere.
    Lipstick kisses, hugs, handshakes, slaps on the back.
    Too much food, alcohol and Christmas cheer.
    Hyperactive kids, mothers, fathers, grandparents, great-grandparents, brothers, sisters, Joe Blow down the road.
    Bloated tummies (not mine), exhausted kids that still haven’t gone to bed.
    Happy Christmas, merry Christmas, I wish I had a dollar for every time I said that.
    Six more days until New Years Eve!

  42. avatar
    Melquiades | 25 December 2006 at 2:16 pm #

    so how was that soy turkey?? mmmmm……….

    sorry to hear the bible study fell on deaf ears. Did you also mention to the girls that christmas’s date was set to overshadow the pagan’s winter solstice celebrations? get yer own christmas you damn christians! hehehe.

    good tidings to you and your family on this day.

    Thou shalt not steal the lord’s writings, unless it lies in a hotel.

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 3:27 pm #

    sk,
    merry x-mas. goji-manna on the way soon.

    rmchagf

  44. avatar
    Tomten | 25 December 2006 at 3:46 pm #

    Nu รคr det jul igen…och igen…och igen och igen och igen…

  45. avatar
    davem | 25 December 2006 at 5:50 pm #

    Merry Christmas SK and fellow fiends.
    love you more,

    Dave M

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 December 2006 at 7:15 pm #

    Xmas is one of the hardest days of the year especially when you live in popesland and plenty of people sufferin’ all ova the world

    Merry Xmas SK and Happy New Year (with a new solo CD relase… maybe?)

  47. avatar
    ben | 25 December 2006 at 9:14 pm #

    i wish you a merry christmas. thanks for all the inspiring and often witty bloggs.

  48. avatar
    John Garratt | 26 December 2006 at 2:25 pm #

    Everyone knows that Christmas is that time once a year when Jesus and Santa engage in hand-to-hand combat in order to keep the universe in a sense of checks and balances.

    John

  49. avatar
    veleska1970 | 26 December 2006 at 3:50 pm #

    a belated merry christmas, steve and family.

    lotza love….

  50. avatar
    colette | 16 January 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    Belated comment, but I just remembered how my daughter once said, ‘So Jesus is a Capricorn.’


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