posted on November 17, 2008 at 7:25 pm

my ears ring on n on
my cilia vibrate uselessly
like a million switched on television sets
my eyesight dimmer n dimmer
my judgement….it was always dodgy
my memories swirl n distort n change
aurora kilbey gets up n greets me twice
she forgot to say goodmorning dad yesterday
so today she walks in once with a smile n a kiss
second time with a frown n a kiss (representing yesterday)
aurora kilbey has the complexion i envy
tanned olive skin n blonde hair n brown eyes
you dont find any kilbeys like that except her
she looks like a cross between ursula andress n a
palomino rabbit
she is the most unusual kid i got
baby scarlet is the spitting image of elli
she also looks like mimi her cuzzin
and juicy joycie the octagenerian nanna
aurora looks more exotic
nk has some “red indian” blood
does this account for ak’s dark looks
and her somewhat melancholy gentle wisdom
thank god her night terrors have passed
i used to get that stuff
realer than real
i also used to get this optical slip
late at night especially
when everything would slide up close
then it would all slide away
recede into the distance
wow that trip used to freak me out
my mum ‘d put me straight to bed n it would pass
i used to hear voices too
and my own world was as solid as…..
my ears are ringin’ like a bitch
40 years of rockin’ n rollin’
what a stupid bastard i am
and i asked em to turn down all the way along
they all told me
you dont understand electric guitars!
ha ha!
because i didnt wanna go deaf
i didnt understand their guitars…..
go fuckin figger
gee tho…i wish i understood….
well my ears must really not understand
besides what others started
ive helped to continue
by blasting myself with walkmens discmens n ipods
the louder the ringing
the louder i play the racket to get over it!
hey brien c
i hear that jeff beck does the same thing ie
hes so tired of the ringing he drowns it out in headphones
its like stabbing your leg to staunch the blood
i’m gonna need a hearing aid before too long
deaf from too much music
thats a joke n its not funny anymore
the doodles have tiny little pods
i warn em n i warn em
top 5 songs on auroras ipod
1 outbound
2 i’m a believer
3 we will rock you
4 brickhouse (by the commodores)
5 tell me what you want (spice girls)

top 5 songs on eves pod
1 girls just wanna have fun
2tell me what you want
3 outbound
4 holiday (green day)
5 american life (madonna)

girls, did daddy make you say outbound?
both : no!
ok, aurora why do like that song?
A: oh i dont know but i like it
E: um i like the radio noise…
cool…i aint arguing with that….

they also got wolfe on high rotation
hmmm..maybe i could blow the wriggles off the kiddie charts
maybe the kids want spacerock instead of that insipid bullshit
maybe the kids want short-wave angels n white noise cream pie
maybe the kids want stream of unconsciousness
maybe kids wanna plug into the sk grid
maybe the kids are waiting for ricky maymi n simon polinski
maybe the kids want the simulated feeling of waitlessness
can you imagine a mass outbreak of little renaissance people
(where are all the renaissance women anyway?)
can you imagine learning rimbaud n studying the primitives
can you imagine doing advanced bass guitar n 1st year ambiguity
yes i’m ready to tutor yer kids
the whole package
i’ll send em home whistling van gogh n painting like shakespeare
it’ll cost ya a fortune but yer kids ‘ll be argumentative snobs
unable to ever get a real job
n all puffed up on some bullshit art malarkey
just like the rreal me

can anyone out there tell me why my laptop cant get gmail?
when i tell it to go to gmail
it gets caught in an endless flip flop between two pages
that never come up
i’m sorry i aint been on gmail and
this is why….
i would like to say thank you to ALL my subscribers
you are making me possible with your generosity
especially in these hard thymes
the recession…its like self fulfilling prophesy
its like a filigree diamond filched from a ring

yeah you see i’m doing some gigs with the triffs
at the whineries
opening for olde lenny cohen
who i think is slightly over rated
but hes very cool n grande
just not as amazing as they all say he is
sorry…its only my opinion
everyone else thinks hes the bees knees
n hes written some great songs
i just dont worship or adore him
its all a bit samey i reckon
n sorry
i read some of his books which i dont rate at all
who cares?
if i ever get to meet him
i’ll probably supplicate n fawn all over the olde geezer
such is life!
such is fame!
such is me!

a lovely sunny but cool day has dawned in n bondi
tibor still sits in the yard
but he needs to be towed away n mercifully put down
have many dark clouds on my horizon which i hope
will all just blow over
feeling troubled
bring on tuesday!

32 Responses to “conditions may not apply”

  1. avatar
    EDD | 17 November 2008 at 8:50 pm #

    Much respect, Steve. I’d rather read yer words than piss you off.

  2. avatar
    timetunnel | 17 November 2008 at 9:04 pm #

    As for you gmail problem: seems like lots of people are having that problem. Some solved it by using HTTPS instead of HTTP for accessing Google’s mail site. So that would be:

    If you click on that link or copy that link and paste it directly into your browser’s location bar you might be able to log in.

    Hope that helps

  3. avatar
    matt davison | 17 November 2008 at 9:13 pm #

    Troubled……Um yep!! I rather concerned myself, had a good day at church the other day (the other one) well recommended 4 the odd visit I must say.

    after church..Crash/ride & a coffee..hmmm

    Cohen..nup!! who???

    find him a bit full of it really))
    – sorry about your car sk..he was a tired old phant..never mind (send ya some dough when I get some…


  4. avatar
    fantasticandy | 17 November 2008 at 9:24 pm #

    i think if you’d got into your stride a bit sooner you woulda bin bigger than any of ’em.
    cohen ‘ain’t got nothing on you.

  5. avatar
    steve kilbey | 17 November 2008 at 9:40 pm #

    thanks andy
    n thanks my friend jens
    now i’m back on gmail
    you are my hjalte

  6. avatar
    persephone2u | 17 November 2008 at 9:41 pm #

    Cohen’s always been a drippy bore. I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds him a total snoozefest.

    Gmails temperamental a lot of the time. It’s like the female of the e-mail clients. Try checking your computer where the little apple logo is on the upper left hand side of your screen to see if you have any software updates for your browser. If everything’s up to date, switch from Safari to Firefox or vice versa. Just try out a different browser as an experiment and that’ll probably fix things.

    That’s funny about Aurora’s colouring. I’m convinced that if I have another baby in the future he or she will most definitely be quite exotic ala Arabian Nights. But as it is, my baby has pale white skin like me, bright blue eyes and blonde hair and certainly doesn’t look half Turkish even though he is. My genes won out in this case, but genes are funny things.

  7. avatar
    princey | 17 November 2008 at 10:03 pm #

    All your girls sound like gorgeous human-time-beings sk.

    Been wondering when Painkiller, The Church or KK are coming to Melbourne sk? Grey sk-eyes need to clear up around here! I can’t make it for the 3day camp-out gig at Golden Plains and I’m praying(praying hard) that the Church will stop by Melby town for a show….we miss you around here sk!
    Love etc

  8. avatar
    jax | 17 November 2008 at 11:25 pm #

    sk, the kids all love Wolfe. It gets played constantly at the jaxs woldheadquarters.. I also pawned a copy of PK over to Nick H at KCRW here in Santa Monica.. its happenin, just like fire.

  9. avatar
    timetunnel | 17 November 2008 at 11:25 pm #

    Ah, cool, it worked. Glad to be of help. 🙂


  10. avatar
    Richard | 17 November 2008 at 11:32 pm #

    my kids, especially my daughter, love to take the piss out of me for my church/sk habit

    I’ve been giving painkiller a flogging at home and in the car

    Gracie makes a point of rolling her eyes and groaning whenever I play it

    but I battle on, undeterred

    the other day I caught her tapping her feet to Oenone

    “it’s just a twitch” she said

  11. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 18 November 2008 at 1:33 am #

    no comment on Leonard Cohen, you know how i feel bout “The Future” song, oh and before you get rid of “tibor” you better take that kickass stereo system out…
    Jonny Future

  12. avatar
    Mr. Ricky | 18 November 2008 at 2:18 am #


    Miss you, Mister…
    in Liverpool now (Yeah-Yeah-Yeah)
    On a Wild Swans mission
    Back in Oz in less than 3 weeks with Felicity!!!
    I LOVE “Don’t go home with your hard on” by Leonard Cohen! David McComb did a great cover of it as well!!!
    The original was produced by Phil Spector and has Bob Dylan on BV’s…Cohen denounced the record though…

  13. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 18 November 2008 at 2:28 am #

    Indeed Jeff Beck has been beset by dreadful tinnitus for decades. He gardens to find audio solace in the countryside.

    Leonard Cohen songs are good when others cover them. Nick Cave is very derivative of Leonard Cohen and Lou Reed.

    Captain is right about “The Future”. It’s a very special song mastered by LC. On a par with “The Dead Mans Dream.”

    I made the nicest girl cry when she read yesterday’s blog. The cow story broke her heart. I will never forget that blog! Hell on earth was grievously unveiled with poignant and compelling literary prowess. The girl printed it and cherishes it! I took her to see “W” the Bush movie and told her that Bush, Cheney, Obama, Clinton and even AL Gore don’t care about any of those majestic creatures.

  14. avatar
    SAWblog | 18 November 2008 at 4:18 am #

    I’m officially lamenting the passing of Tibor. Yet, mirthful about the miles/kilometers {re: killer-o-meters} we shared.

    Your blog passages were always ardent when you spoke of ‘the beast’ — especially when he misbehaved. I enjoyed immensely the pic of him that you posted way back when…

    SK, my condolences that a Falcon cannot rise from the ashes.

    best, SAW

  15. avatar
    steve kilbey | 18 November 2008 at 4:59 am #

    will ya send me another sticker for my next beast
    whenever i may come by him?

  16. avatar
    kat | 18 November 2008 at 6:26 am #


    can’t they give you any $ for the car? sometimes here they give you scrap value or something like that.

    speaking of and from scraps, i’m hungry. lol

  17. avatar
    SAW | 18 November 2008 at 7:02 am #

    check your post…
    I’ll be honored.

  18. avatar
    athanasiuspernath | 18 November 2008 at 7:15 am #

    when i was very young, i read cohen’s “the favourite game”. i didnt really get it, but what i got was, for the first time, the feeling there are things i don’t get, which was actually very valuable…unlike, say, nicky drakey’s songs, they’re nicely mallible – like “tower of song”, transposed into in the key of David Lynch by Robert Forster, while also working being mutilated, humiliated and disemboweled by Nick Cave. I always loved a Cohen song called “Stories of the Street”. First time I really noticed that certain elegic minor 3/4 in the realm of pop music. And I certainly loved that certain interpretation of “Suzanne”‘s lyrics by a certain Mr K. – cool you’re going to meet him, you’ll hear him coughing all night long.

  19. avatar
    lily was here | 18 November 2008 at 8:41 am #

    hey Steve, I’ve been awaya few days. Well sorry but I will be grinning from ear to ear when LC sings my favourite songs in the HV. The highlight of the evening though will NO DOUBT AT ALL be SK and Ricky onstage with The Triffids! It will be Magic.

    Steve, I have a huge sticker for your next car too. Its black n silver and says 😉

    love XOX

    ps church fans keep an eye on official websites for upcoming oz tour dates

  20. avatar
    Warpedjohn | 18 November 2008 at 8:43 am #

    Songs of LC ” ( his 1st? LP -with Suzanne ) was used to good effect in the soundtrack to a western ( “Mcabe and Mrs Miller ” in the 60’s.

  21. avatar
    matt davison | 18 November 2008 at 9:03 am #

    Kilbey…. do you ever say hi to me these day’s….just wondering??? feel a little left out..
    Oh’ I dunno maybe I over rate myself!! Hello e mail and all

  22. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 18 November 2008 at 10:56 am #

    glad you had a sunny day there today….it’s blowy and raining like a bitch here and has been all day…
    my gracie (she’s 7)really likes painkiller, she’ll groove along to it, also had nick cave playing the other day and she dug it pretty well too…
    steve, i’d like a bit of advice….having a bit of a stoush with my other half re: getting an acoustic guitar for gracie…we both like the idea, where it comes unstuck is that i’d like to get her proper lessons from a teacher while my other half reckons she’d learn from a dvd and a book….what’s the better option regarding her learning guitar?
    love always….

  23. avatar
    MEM | 18 November 2008 at 1:13 pm #

    i am
    when i
    tune into
    the being

    best thing
    said is

    i’m mostly
    streams of

    only if i think
    to it

    some reason

    outside of
    time and

    hoping and
    the idea
    that there
    is a


    of oneness


    a strength

    unified field

    body of believers

    we believe
    and destroy all

  24. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 18 November 2008 at 1:20 pm #

    bloody amazing last two blogs.


  25. avatar
    msm | 18 November 2008 at 2:44 pm #

    Hahahaha, how cute about Aurora’s two different “goodmornings”! Priceless, gotta cherish those years! I’m up to the “Sometimes Embarrassing Dad” stage with my 14yo (Daaaaad!!), but I’m always redeemed by the fact I can converse with her friends about Nirvana or The Cure or John Lennon… and being a long-haired old hippy of course.

  26. avatar
    CSTCoach | 18 November 2008 at 3:47 pm #

    LOL @ “girls, did daddy make you say outbound?”

    Interesting timing re: lenny cohen. I just picked up one of his books from the library. Downloaded a greatest hits album a while back (round about the time you did those two songs at the poetry fest) but apart from a few songs couldn’t really get into it. the whole album sounded a bit samesame after a while.some of its good, but i much prefer ye olde spacewrock.

  27. avatar
    CSTCoach | 18 November 2008 at 6:02 pm #

    hey kilbey,

    just saw on the news that someone has called down a plague of locusts upon NSW. was that your doing? you seem like the kinda Time Being who would favour revenge of biblical proportions.

    just wondering.

  28. avatar
    steve kilbey | 18 November 2008 at 7:21 pm #

    to matty d : hi
    to hellbound h :
    the teacher is better than the book!

  29. avatar
    steve kilbey | 18 November 2008 at 7:22 pm #

    to ryan cst
    i called down a plague of lotuses!
    el killer

  30. avatar
    davem | 18 November 2008 at 7:50 pm #

    My lads 15 and loves joy division, 60’s garage rock, radiohead, magazine etc. He likes the church (he owns P=A and starfish, has burned PK – apologies SK…I’ll buy him a copy too) but i suspect my obsession stops him getting too close to your work. Secretly though he knows you’re a fucking genius!!
    Sue – you are wicked!!!

  31. avatar
    CSTCoach | 18 November 2008 at 10:13 pm #

    “i called down a plague of lotuses!”

    ahh… well that was an unfortunate typo…

  32. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 19 November 2008 at 2:30 am #

    steve kilbey said to captain beyond: you’re a loser baby…
    Jonny Loser

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