posted on February 3, 2006 at 10:12 pm

im trapped in this dream
in the dream i cant breathe
i try everything
but my nose is blocked
my throat is closed
i cant get any air down to my lungs
i feel like im dying
the other characters in my dream go about
their mundane dreamlives
unaware that im dying
the world whirled …again
my reality became a vortex
a vortex in deed appears
unleashed by the crash
im starting to be picked up by the vortex
bit by bit
im whirling around
as it goes down
thru the dark earth
towards king death

i wake up
im lying face down in my pillow
i could hardly breathe
i stagger to open window
suck in oxygen
still uncomprehending
i pull on my clothes
leave the house
its a dark warm overcast morning
there is a ceiling on the world
nimbus roof protecting us
the most tiny drops of rain
alight on my skin
as i stride away from home
everything moves into sharp focus
frangipani flowers
luxurious gifts from vishnu
beautiful trees full of beautiful birds
gardens roses glorious weeds
snails amble along
masterpieces in design and engineering
everything is close
i feel like im in a big room
in my Fathers mansion
so quiet
so hushed
the scene set for me
no cars
no other people
nothing
saturday morning 7 am feb 2006
to fix a co ordinate on it
i pass the cafes
toast cooking somewhere
i walking along boardwalk
pacific ocean baybee
cmon i still excited by it
foreboding breakers roll in
the ocean conceals its monsters well
but you remember theyre still out there
people fizz past me
im in my interior world
my whole life falls out of my head
unsequentially
i lived it all for you
i realise that now
my life was a play
you always know the ending
i acted it out
and i was the audience
filming it
recording it
photographing it
slice by slice
frame over frame
i took it all down for you
because i knew one day
youd want to know what it was
so i was , like, the protaganist
in my own life
with all the confidence
and frustration
of the actor who has played his part before
and is anxious to get to the good bits
the bits with the good lines
and the heroic moments
how i sat thru the tedium of the fifties
for ya
playing a little boy i was
ha ha
sometimes i dropped out of character
i came out with profound and profane stuff
eager to try out lines that would be coming later
now
then the sixties
i started filming in colour sometime in 1966
some of those sixties things
are brighter clearer and more alive
than much of the nineties
thats all thru a very dark filter
its all mixed up
i guess the eighties are in good nick
though a little burnt in places
where i saturated my camera
anyway
im still walking by the ocean
joggers
surfers
mumsndadsnkids
i hit the sea pool
im painting a picture of
ziggy in the sea pool
i imagine he crashed here in 2006
instead of lundon 1972
the water is green
cool viscous bouyant
i do only 18 laps
my laziness conquers my determination
i go into the sauna
i watch the ocean
those amazing surfers out there already
on a day like this
in their black suits
riding the wild fucking sea, mister
a russian guy i know comes in
a serious sauna fiend
he chucks a bucket of water over the rocks
despite sign:
do not splash hot rocks
the room fills with scalding steam
its almost worse than the interview at m w ps
i go red all over
the steam wallops me like a jealous lover
it slaps my face
and kicks me in the balls
want some more comrade?
yeah sure…uh…oh….yeah
i emerge stuffed and cooked
i do my chi gong
(chinese breathing exercises)
i get dressed
i leave
i come here
i write this
i love you
sk

24 Responses to “cruising down a shuddering highway”

  1. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 3 February 2006 at 11:06 pm #

    Love You Too SK

    “nimbus ceiling”…very nice!

  2. avatar
    sue cee | 3 February 2006 at 11:12 pm #

    Frangipani…mmm..I can smell it sometimes from outside my window but coffee’s invading the aroma
    I get dressed, I come here, I read, I love you too sk

  3. avatar
    OTTOMT | 4 February 2006 at 12:09 am #

    Your dream may deal with a sort of rebirth be it physical, mental, experimental, artistic, sarcastic, bombastic. Either that or it describes the beginning of a very groovy movie.
    I love you from the tip of Montreal down and over to the coast of San Francisco.
    Cecilia
    xox
    PS – My Mozart cd is skipping! Dang it!
    Hi Lloyd!

  4. avatar
    mike | 4 February 2006 at 12:42 am #

    all of that in one morning!!

  5. avatar
    Daberhasher | 4 February 2006 at 12:44 am #

    “…where i saturated my camera…”
    wordsculptor… just the ticket…

    i gots a dream to build a cordwood recording studio/sauna up the hill in me woods… solar power, geothermal heat, moose looking in the window… you’re welcome anytime…

    i love you too

    aloha,
    erik

  6. avatar
    captainmission | 4 February 2006 at 12:50 am #

    went to see mwp and the maidens last night and arrived to an almost empty room with them playing a beautiful song and i got confused, thought i was the only person who turned up but mwp says its paris 1943 and i say, i thought i saw a vortex outside. as it happens i was just early. the vortex must have been at yr place.
    what a way to start yr day.

  7. avatar
    captainmission | 4 February 2006 at 12:51 am #

    ps love ya to

  8. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 4 February 2006 at 12:53 am #

    Sigo caminando por el mar…

  9. avatar
    fergal | 4 February 2006 at 1:01 am #

    the actor is actually playing you!
    &
    the pool is really blue cellophane …

  10. avatar
    Ron (rjdaeh@rogers.com) | 4 February 2006 at 1:06 am #

    Hey Steve. Been meaning to comment on a few of your blogs, but have been either shy or lazy, pls excuse me. Anyhow, love what you’re doing, look fwd to a hit of Kilbey every day. Great dream imagery, even though it may be a little burnt in places! Speaking of dreams (and I’m not making this up), dreamt other day I was saying hi to MWP after a show, mentioned that I had a ’68 Ric 330, but would love to get a 12-sting one. He said he wanted a new 6-string one, so we made a deal to swap for a couple years, and pay eachothers shipping costs – think he’d be game?? Tell him to email me if interested lol!

    BTW, great joke abt the pony in other day’s entry, have told it to my kids, and friends to tell theirs. It’s hard to find kid-friendly jokes these days. I’ll let you know one I made up a couple yrs ago if you need more material…

    Feeling the love,

    Ron

    ps – Flannel shirt in the middle of summer?! WTF?!?!

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 February 2006 at 1:45 am #

    Something is really happening. It’s like a vast field (of possibilities rather than expectations this time), the conscience of something that expands for ever, that doesn’t stop. There is no conclusion to come to and sometimes I feel peaceful about it. There is just a wild continuity, a flow I believe I can go with.
    You’re breathing, dear, although you must be feeling suffocated. It’s like the hangedman card. Perhaps hanged but conscious. Seeing it all with wide perspective and knowledge. It’s tough to look at such an obscene world like this. Plus it has been too hot Southern Hemisfear. Always a mystic explanation and a weather explanation. And a mystic weather.
    It’ll be alright in the non-end.

  12. avatar
    Sonny | 4 February 2006 at 3:41 am #

    Of all the parts of yourself that you choose to share with us, it’s this part of you that always makes the most sense to me.

    Thank you,

    Sonny

  13. avatar
    Laurie | 4 February 2006 at 4:11 am #

    Too choked by depressing tears to write.
    Your cruise down a shuddering highway
    reminds me of your similar mood I met
    Back then….
    Just between us, you know the one.
    It ended on a high note that lasted for years.

    What was you thinkin’ or takin’ before bedtime, eh?

    I love you too!!

    Laurie

    PS. I’d really love to see your ziggy who fell painting. My father and I watched the movie when it was first made. We loved it! Makes me wanna paint a space sunset. Do you like James Turrell?

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 February 2006 at 5:47 am #

    You, The Church and Co have been the soundtrack to most of my life, so thankyou, seems like a win win situation to me.
    Although I was thinking the other day its strange,why are all albums the same price(universal/generic)?
    Surely, different art should command a different price, music included.
    Imagine if all paintings/prints were the same price across the board.
    Anyway its a concept that works for me, if The Church albums were priced in that manner l spose I’d be out taking loans.
    Cheers
    MB

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 February 2006 at 5:52 am #

    Oh yeah and the blogs for free!
    Thank you once again for taking care of your fans.
    Love ya
    MB

  16. avatar
    annie | 4 February 2006 at 5:54 am #

    We all love you too Steve,thats why we are here. I still love you even though in my dreams the other night I saw you and you clearly said to me “dont listen to my music any more…we have no connection.” I felt so sad when i woke up.
    Annie

  17. avatar
    Brad | 4 February 2006 at 7:56 am #

    I wrote “frangipani” on my hand a few days ago when I heard a woman use it to discribe the eastern sky at sunset. Warm with low humidity it turned into milky pastels. I had never heard the word before but liked it. I read you’re post just now and then looked at my hand quickly, it’s gone. I nearly forgot it again. You remembered it for me in a beautiful story. Same sort of thing has happened to me for years in your songs with many variations, thanks.

    b

  18. avatar
    Darko Flagg | 4 February 2006 at 8:38 am #

    Dearest Lost Unkle,
    Thanks for LA Blogge – Off to the big day out in Perth- No “SPACE ROCK” venue!! No Space rockers. 🙁 . Can you and Daevid Allen get something together quickly for the gig?

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 February 2006 at 9:32 am #

    Good idea! Mr. Kilbey the Bohemian connecting with Daevid Allen, the Pot Head Pixie of Le planet Gong. And he lives in Australia, too! (and he`s a Poet) I`ve been wondering actually how that would turn out. Mr. Alien enters the land of Bohemia!
    Only nice things could come out of that!

  20. avatar
    12str | 4 February 2006 at 2:34 pm #

    with a dead sun shining on my back….
    wish i had some good things to add to the blend..
    i remember going out..
    what a story..

    cheers
    12str

  21. avatar
    AAA | 5 February 2006 at 9:52 am #

    a joke from my kids……..

    knock knock

    who’s there?

    IP

    IP Who?

  22. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 5 February 2006 at 2:47 pm #

    another one that grabs you by the throat and runs away with you, you wonder if you’re dying and live with the possibility of this being real, shuddering with the delicious feeling of being taken somehere strange, somewhere real, somewhere fake, somewhere reality and time are permeable and hallucination’s expectorant, somewhere a man is spilling like a river emptying across a plain, silver, a mirror base, mercury spreading, cinging, rolling on, somewhere people are drunk with love and possibility and waves craaash at night in the grand hall of the beach

    xrokonxxxslowfish

  23. avatar
    the merry merry-go-round | 5 February 2006 at 9:27 pm #

    sorry sk. trees and forests maybe? i don’t know, i got a prod of sorts. been having my own suffocating dreams. not a poet or a writer. anyway a small reconciliation is circling round and round.

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 February 2006 at 12:12 am #

    I sat amongst the native bush and noisy insects making music of their own. In a cottage on the beautiful Coromandel, depserately trying to reach the Time Being from my ex’s Blackberry mobile. But the signal was weaker than a Savage Garden song, and I could not connect. My ex argued with her current coz he doesnt give her enough, Dutch Pierre met supposedly beautiful Bridgette, I await his adventures at sea. Now I am back where I can reach the Time Being. It is Waitangi Day, a day to celebrate when Maori and Pakeha signed the treaty. The Prime Minsiter failed to attend the dawn ceremony. It is just another public holday. Disrespect at home, disrespect far away. Anger within Islam, “Chop Danes to pieces” they hail. Fuck off you fanatical asses, you’re the suckers. There is nothing on the other side for your efforts, just darkness and no reward. Get a life instead of taking one, as well as wasting your own for someone else. Every day is a bonus.

    Allahn


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