posted on July 19, 2011 at 9:27 pm

microsleep

in the morning i awake over and over

dreams fall from me like streaming drops

i rise up and up  from my winterbed

into a pale and delicate sky that has no colour at all

before birth after death

each voice that said something unto me deeply

well every word used up like a wish

whispered fragments remain trapped in echo

snapped in two

times crust breaks as present moves away from past

the chasm of now

headlong into tomorrow unable to slow down for one second even

we all fall and fall

freezing and burning

something so important is happening too obvious to see it

my hammered head beaten flat and then into a mask

my shoulders which bear this weight of all possible worlds

my bones splinter like a glacier under the sun

my stomach empty like my mind

my hands which must belong to some other man

my jaw aching from silence

my rampant ego shaking the bars of his cage

my bemused muse hiding somewhere in side

each cloud contains endless lonelinesses

life hurtles along recklessly wrong and wrecked

the good stuff the bad stuff

i exist within the narrow margin of the broad picture

the active ingredients from an inert carrier

in touch with my inner child  hes a little bastard

in touch with my inner woman  shes a real bitch

in touch with my inner brute and hes gung ho like genghis khan

but meanwhile the earth careens unguided around our star ablaze

no one knows how it got here or where we’re going

no one knows why either

and thats because the explanation is beyond us/within us

and science says think this and religion says think that

a poet says be this and a pope says be that

and morning follows evening follows me home

cold silver rain and all

my bizarre life walks alongside forcing me to have perspective

there are a million things i need to know

but i must only know them in the right order

king must come after queen but ace can follow a king or two

its no good to get your epsilon before your delta honey

sweet omega must remain as the final word

i travel inside the guise of man but i am afraid of him

i seem like a person but i seem to me like i’m really something else

we offered you love ….someone sighs in the dark….

you see its all been a dreadful dreadful mistake!

i start up suddenly but strong hands restrain me

no hurry no rush says the quiet sad voice

but still something forces me through against my will

have i gone and died ….?

i appeal to whatever is out there

whatever it was that cared enough to create us all out of nothingness

i know it is something so incredibly minuscule  or so impossibly gigantic

our understanding of it reduced to words meaning nearly nothing

like everywhere at once and nowhere at all

only its implication can be really understood

me…. i’m a chip off some other old block

a cosmic ugly duckling swanning around these parts

you dont love me because im brilliant

you dont love me because im strange

you dont love me just because im older than all the  hills put together

no

so life is like that isnt it?

….whats that?

yeah whatever

whatever you like

(mutters under ‘is breath)

fuck……!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

22 Responses to “diaphanous days”

  1. avatar
    eekie | 19 July 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    “in touch with my inner woman shes a real bitch”

    What a coincidence! So’s mine!
    My outer woman is a bitch too…guess I’m pure bitch through and through. 🙂

  2. avatar
    meg manestar | 20 July 2011 at 12:08 am #

    Lol..i love this peice it has great prose in it…..the end made me laugh…”yeah whatever, whatever you like” i say that a lot..i put a pause in between though…it has made life either easy or hard, i dunno….whatever.

  3. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 20 July 2011 at 12:42 am #

    a ‘cosmic ugly duckling’ … not thats a visual that will stay with me for the rest of the day.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  4. avatar
    evilren | 20 July 2011 at 2:12 am #

    While reading this, I experienced a microsleep with colors, designs and silence between the lines.

  5. Shaman Ron
    Shaman Ron | 20 July 2011 at 6:26 am #

    Sometimes us old souls that have traveled far and found many answers and clues to why and we must succumb to the reality of our final existence. Old souls move forth after 100’s of generations of reoccurring life on this rock. The Enlightened shaman, the Masterful artists, the Greatest leaders, the Psychedelic masters, the Eccentric scientists, and the Grandiose writers are all examples of those on the final leg of ethereal and multi-dimensional, spiritual perfection. never to return to this realm manifest for eternity.

    Blessing from Pan

  6. avatar
    Boriah | 20 July 2011 at 7:19 am #

    “Fuck”!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything starts and ends with that word

  7. avatar
    Frank N Stein | 20 July 2011 at 7:54 am #

    me want David Neil Cd
    me no find cd
    SK bad
    grrrrrrrr

  8. avatar
    . | 20 July 2011 at 9:24 am #

    slow motion in front of me
    those falling silver drops tell a story
    like the tears from the ancients long passed
    raining redemption upon a forsaken world
    we’re confused as ever about the beginning
    yet one step closer through our pain and suffering
    i readjust my jacket to thwart the cold wind
    a brief moment of clarity manifests within
    a cup of tea would be nice

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 July 2011 at 11:47 am #

    did you know – there are 20 different moves for each piece to start up a game… equating to 400 possibilities to apply before movement! after that (the second play), it opens up to over 10,000 different choices(!!) rapid fire, “go!” – I’m not interested enough in math to know exactly, but it’s a lot; and then… everything after is dependent on what preceded the next – and never can anything be repeated with the same outcome once it starts – so from a different perspective, I’ve never understood studying moves, which doesn’t mean to do so isn’t good, just/but at the onset of each beginning and onward through: what if this then that happens in between some sequence already studied(?), the process of the mind to think through the next move is by that exact process, repeated, limiting the possibilites to go forward. in the end, when checkmate is called, the wonder/fulfillment of that last move [for both] was the unknown journey not the expectation of a lesson’s repeat.

    Otherwise (and I may be wrong – one of those questions perhaps), won or lost, it seems that is the only ego unrepairable… the one that expects bliss applying only what’s already been learned.

  10. avatar
    thetimebeing | 20 July 2011 at 11:53 am #

    i love that about you sara!

  11. avatar
    jack and beanstalk | 20 July 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    you always have my love
    just bare with me
    as they dig me up from underworld
    its been 6 years
    its so long
    i can hardly wait
    i can hardly bare to know
    i cant hold my breathe any longer
    so i throw a missile at someone i love
    hoping their response will make the sea of hands
    i need real

    hope you can
    understand
    x

  12. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 20 July 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    Praised are allthose with fashions grand
    Self concerned the cause leading their many plans
    A moment’s craze during an unnatural crime
    Subserves a world full of malignant minds

    Detached and distant from each passing day
    Strangers shadows darken illusive pathways
    A disillusion living tomorrow in solitary
    Forecasts a future as bleak as the beginning
    Of an unwritten play.

    Live as if the outcome was preordained
    For passiveness leads to others for the simplicity of
    blame.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  13. avatar
    DavidP | 20 July 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    “I warn you, whoever you are, Oh, you who wish to probe the arcanes of nature, if you do not find within yourself that which you seek, neither shall you be able to find it outside. If you ignore the excellencies of your own house, how do you intend to find other excellencies? In you is hidden the treasure of treasures. Oh, man, know yourself and you shall know the Universe and the Gods!” (inscription on the Temple of Apollo in Delphi)

    “…examine yourself, and learn who you are, in what way you exist, and how you will come to be. Since you will be called my brother, it is not fitting that you be ignorant of yourself. And I know that you have understood, because you had already understood that I am the knowledge of the truth. So while you accompany me, although you are uncomprehending, you have (in fact) already come to know, and you will be called ‘the one who knows himself’.” ( Jesus in The Book of Thomas the Contender, Nag Hammadi Library)

    if we apply correctly and diligently the practical techniques and tools of self-knowledge “you will be able to explore deep into yourself to acquire knowledge about yourself, make profound and fundamental changes and discover actually what the spark of peace is. Also because the basic structure within the individual is essentially the same as that of everyone else, you will see not only what makes up your own psychology, but also the psychology of all the people in the world. Then you will also begin to deeply understand others and can help them to change and acquire wisdom and peace too.” (The Peace of the Spirit Within, Belzebuub, page 23)

    take care, be aware 🙂
    DP

  14. avatar
    paul | 20 July 2011 at 8:18 pm #

    this speaks volumes in a whisper of words

  15. avatar
    V. Gan | 20 July 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    shameless plug for good:
    http://suprememasterchinghai.org/

  16. avatar
    hellbound heart | 21 July 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    Must be extremely intriguing inside your being, amongst your inner bitch and inner brute and inner little bastard…..who generally ends up having the final word?
    Love always…..

  17. avatar
    Cecilia | 22 July 2011 at 8:23 am #

    you dont love me because im brilliant
    you dont love me because im strange
    you dont love me just because im older than all the hills put together
    no
    so life is like that isnt it?

    no me amas porque soy brillante
    no me amas porque soy raro
    no me amas porque soy mas viejo que todos los cerros juntos
    no
    asi es la vida, no?

    • avatar
      Boriah | 22 July 2011 at 6:06 pm #

      Efectivamente Ceci, así es!!!

  18. avatar
    thetimebeing | 22 July 2011 at 7:17 pm #

    yay!

  19. avatar
    Narelle | 22 July 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    congratulations Sara…I remember when you mentioned the ?grant
    you cannot not fall in love with Melbourne

  20. avatar
    Freddie | 27 July 2011 at 1:29 am #

    “and thats because the explanation is beyond us/within us
    and science says think this and religion says think that
    a poet says be this and a pope says be that”

    Forget about what science says.
    Forget about what religion says.
    Ignore the poets.
    Ignore the pope.
    Ignore me and listen!


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