posted on February 4, 2009 at 8:31 pm

who am i?
i was born in 1954 in england
my mum n dad were called mum n dad
i was an obnoxious little childe and had no friends
at the age of three i took up the bass guitar
and penned many songs that were……yes?
steve kilbey!
no…i’m afraid youre just guessing now…
but…uh….i thought steve kilbey was….
no no no
steve kilbey is not the correct answer…
who am i?
who are you…who who….who who…?
i really wanna know…..
well who the fuck are you?
i say i
cos i is used to saying i
but who am i really?
am i who i was?
am i who i will be, kilbey
i’m sometimes so sick of olde kilbey
CANT I BE SOMEONE ELSE
yes i look good for a very olde codger
but i want some real youth
i want the agenda-less day of a faun
i want the raining pleasure
i want to get drunk n you wear the hangover
i want stick my fingers in white chocolate
while somebody else can lick them clean
i want reckless thoughtless aimless nights to arrive
i want more than that
i want to see my past lives all trailing
like a distorted afterimage on a huge screen
kilbey will weep to be a mere shadow one day
another ex-life
oh you heard of steve kilbey
yeah…i used to be him…
oh how was he to be?
ah….ok…up n down i guess….
yeah…i heard that…
a grumpy olde renaissance man
renaissance man my arse
jus’ cos he wrote some same stupid songs n did some ropey paintings..?
well err yeah thats as good as it gets these days…
so in the lack of vinnie van google
and leonardo di caprio-vinci
i guess guys like olde kilbey move up
i guess so…
like best of a bad bunch..
dude…it is a bad bunch out there..
how many blokes could explain the iliad to ya?
kilbey
how many could explain the mahabharata or the kalevela
kilbey could…
how many blokes can merge a diary into prose poetry
sk
how many blokes appreciate space noise AND frank sinatra
how many blokes do so many good and bad things at once
how many….
STOP!
this endless list of what i can do does not define me
this also endless list of what i cannot do does not define me
who the fuck is inside here now dictating this to kilbey
this is the sanest question a mad man can ask
all my life people say
steven youre this
steven youre that
steven you should be a lawyer a priest a rear admiral a star
steven you should see yourself
steven youre a handsome/ugly bastard
steven youre so young/old
so masculine/feminine
so friendly/rude
so stupid/brilliant
GET AWAY FROM ME ALL YOU…
how voyeuristic you all are to witness this breakdown…
the centre is not holding
does anyone have a tranquillizer….?
ah thank you….a glass of brandy
let me get my breath
oh the years catch up with me
oooh i am a poor old man
down on his luck
misunderstood by the philistine hoi polloi
who wouldnt know a renaissance man from a removal man
and anyway
i know who i’d rather have on my side
when i finally have to quit this fire trap
and relocate to infernal melbourne
where it buckles in the rail
and there are no shadows
yet
whispers reach my ears
i am locked in a tower cooking up my exhibition
i slap on paint like a tart slapping on make up
i smudge n i rub n i stand back n say
fuck thats fucking awful
i make records like you would make toast
stick in a song for me, ta
thats it a little jam…and …presto
dont you ever get sick of reading about me?
because in reading about me youre reading about you?
huh?
do you really believe that?
yes?
does everything end in a question mark?
does it?
look
tell me who i am
tell me in less than fifty four words
why you think bondi beach would be a great vacation spot
for you and your family
and you may win
3 weeks at my place
my family n i waiting on you
HAND N FOOT
in spades baybee
yes
a dream vacation
complete with me as your servant
bringing you the sydney morning herald every morning
and rewarming up your hot water bottle every night
just tell me in your own words
your own words mind you
WHO AM I?
or
WHO I AM
or even
I AM WHO?
send your comments to
time being
15 nefertiti street
west nineveh
666-1313
i will moderate them carefully
with my big olde moderator
(it makes me feel much greater)
n
(in austrian accent)
I’LL BE BACK !!

47 Responses to “does my ass look big in this mansuit?”

  1. avatar
    seoigh | 4 February 2009 at 9:59 pm #

    A shell of various minerals you have consumed; therefore a form constantly changing. It is animated by the same unknowable universal animating force that animates everything. Unfortunately, this shell features senses, memory, desire, thought… all of which distract it from the eternal. In your specific case, these features are especially good at torturing you.

    54 words or less. Sorry they ain’t pretty. Sorry they aren’t anything you don’t already know.

    And yes, we are bloody voyeuristic. I’m glad you know that. You have a right to be angry.

    Consider us, though. I’d venture that many of us are going through the same crisis and that’s why we’re here. Misery loves company and all that. Most of your songs are not for the uninitiated to understand.

    More so than many artists, your audience is stacked with peers… the sycophants are there, too, of course.

    I do find it especially cruel — and I choose the word ‘cruel’ carefully — that an anon poster would come on this site and try to heap further suffering on you (and by extension, us). This is the man who brought us Outbound, Block, After Everything… it’s not like you’re pretending to be in some peaceful state of mind.

    And these aren’t casual fans who only know UTMW from Donnie Darko. These are fans know the whole story.

    This is a place for people who know about that bigger ineffable existence that lurks right under the surface, teasing our genius constantly. This is a place for people who are tortured by the silence of God. To disrupt this place is to shit in the baptismal font. This is our church.

    Anyhow.

    I suppose there is an easy, albeit mean answer to your question, Steve.

    Arrogance has seven levels: (1) arrogance (慢) is vaunting one’s superiority over inferiors; (2) over-arrogance (過慢) is asserting one’s superiority over equals; (3) arrogant over-arrogance (慢過慢) is alleging one’s superiority over superiors; (4) self-arrogance (我慢) is the root of all other arrogances, considering oneself by definition to be superior to others; (5) exceeding arrogance (增上慢) is alleging realization of truth one has not realized; (6) humility-camouflaged arrogance (卑慢) is admitting slight inferiority to those who are much superior; and (7) evil arrogance (邪慢) is boasting of virtues one does not have.

    Sorry. Feel free to edit out any of that which you’d rather not have on your blog.

    It’s heartbreaking that you have to leave Bondi, I am sure.

  2. avatar
    captain mission | 4 February 2009 at 11:00 pm #

    your a round peg in a square hole

  3. avatar
    thomas | 4 February 2009 at 11:52 pm #

    everyone!
    which is also no one in particular
    we’re all made of the same stuff/thing/formula
    we’re an energy that’s a question
    and a question that’s an energy
    we’re that essence asking itself “what am I?”
    and we reward that question
    and we boost that energy
    once we’ve surrender our assumptions
    and psychology and beliefs
    to our presence in the present
    it’s kind of religious
    it’s kind of scientific
    it’s disturbing, marvellous and timeless
    it’s the kindest thing we can do

  4. avatar
    steve kilbey | 5 February 2009 at 12:12 am #

    dear seoigh
    who are you?
    i would never edit your comments
    behold
    i have every one of those arrogances
    7 X 7 indeed
    your answer pleases me
    your holiday begins now*

    conditions apply!

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 12:20 am #

    Steve Kilbey:
    A benevolent misanthrope.
    Our air – his words. Our lungs -his mind. A true prolific artist of our modern times who had an appetizer consumed by the masses but thier short attention span ushered them off to the next party. A feast for us all that knew and stayed but the chef often gets tired in the kitchen. Alas, the menu always features new specials….

    John

  6. avatar
    fantasticandy | 5 February 2009 at 12:20 am #

    seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven.

    ‘i am the one you warned me of’.
    – B. O. C.
    you shoulda done that cover!

  7. avatar
    Jasperina | 5 February 2009 at 12:44 am #

    It’s gotta be the mansuit…it always does things for me. That stretchy fabric in some weird colour like pale blue or caramel. And brave enough to wear such attire in this unending stinking Sydney heat.

    We like looking at ourselves in the mirror…is that really who I am? Isn’t that what your blog is… a kind of giant mirror to the world. Yeah we get to see it all and I never get sick of reading your blog.It does give me what I need each day…something different to think about. My time reading your blog is a time to ponder. Ponder what…doesn’t really matter to me much the subject, the rant, the droll, the whinge, the poetry, the story…I like the way you write and the “sound” in your voice. “This is my church” is a wonderful description of this sacred space.

  8. avatar
    m.p.k. | 5 February 2009 at 12:51 am #

    Aren’t you a little old for a mid-life crisis steve? 😉 I dunno I seem to be out of crisis mode myself after a long spate last fall. If I look too close much is a wreck at the moment so I just stopped looking for a while.

  9. avatar
    the dean | 5 February 2009 at 1:33 am #

    I type into my console whoami – it returns %root – does this mean I’m or you’ve are a subterrainian vegetable, perhaps a command to procreate or the root of all evil and goodness. The answer is obscure.

    I type into my console whoareyou –
    curser’s still blinking…….

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 1:33 am #

    You are:
    a mammal
    a father
    an Englishman
    an Australian
    a heterosexual
    an artist
    a son
    an anglo saxon
    an uncle
    a minor celebrity
    a masturbator
    a cook
    an improviser
    a husband
    a musician
    a drug user
    a computer user
    a poet
    an interviewee
    a writer
    a philosopher
    a swimmer
    a yoga-ist
    a tax payer

    PV

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 1:40 am #

    you are the sun
    i am the moon
    you are the words
    i am the tune
    play me….N.D

    i am the now
    observe…P.M

  12. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 5 February 2009 at 1:47 am #

    Steve Kilbey is a multi-faceted character in one of those creative and mystifying Godley and Creme songs.

  13. avatar
    Freddie | 5 February 2009 at 1:50 am #

    I came in earlier, saw this question
    I just had to throw my hands up and leave
    Sorry, I’m still no closer to an answer for ya
    Been struggling with who/what’s Freddie for the past few years
    There’s so much about that animating force seiogh spoke of
    which has me stumped
    It’s really something quite amazing.

  14. avatar
    HIj'Qa | 5 February 2009 at 3:26 am #

    You’re a peach, SK

  15. avatar
    Anakki Mayhem | 5 February 2009 at 4:16 am #

    someone somewhere sometimes
    a shadow lurking
    an idea forming
    a follower of dreams
    an inspiration to fiends
    a traveller of the rocky road
    laid bare on the internet highway
    a man who is human

    🙂
    A
    xo

    moderate madly if u desire
    😀

  16. avatar
    Richard | 5 February 2009 at 4:20 am #

    mid life crisis at 54 sounds like wise future planning to me

    have been thinking about who you are

    I don’t know who you are to you

    but maybe this is relevant

    to me you are a person whose music, voice and words have spent every day for 25 or so years bouncing around, absolutely welcome, in my mind

    do you understand that?

  17. avatar
    princey | 5 February 2009 at 5:33 am #

    I hope you’re joking about us “witnessing this breakdown”, please sk, try and think positive, do what makes you happy (swim, paint, yoga, drink triplesec mixed with wineribenaraspberry juice, whatever it takes!) and be back here on 7th March healthy and happy! I hope u feel better soon.
    love Amanda

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 7:00 am #

    There is no self. Hunting absurd vacation prizes is a good allegory to anything we see as redeeming goals. Illusions all, just breathe out and relax.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 7:18 am #

    The Church make MSN entertainment news headline

    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/740901/new-ep-album-and-tours-for-the-church

    DR

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 7:19 am #

    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/740901/new-ep-album-and-tours-for-the-church

    MSN Entertainment news headline

    DR

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 7:21 am #

    Sorry – i’ve repeated myself thinking something was wrong and then added this blurb for approval

    DR

  22. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 5 February 2009 at 9:52 am #

    I think me and Mary deserve a vacation down under don’t you think esskay, I mean how many church gigs does it take to get to the center of the lollipop???
    mjnjr

  23. avatar
    Shirley Sally | 5 February 2009 at 10:22 am #

    You:

    are a talented artist

    have healthy children

    are fit and healthy yourself

    have a loving wife

    have lots of people you have never met who seem to care immensely about you (if you read this blog)

    are extremely lucky because of all of the above

  24. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 5 February 2009 at 10:23 am #

    you are a big ol’ leaky bag of dna (same as me!) that somehow manages to create moments of sublime brilliance (unlike me!)….
    love always…..

  25. avatar
    loolaabillions | 5 February 2009 at 10:27 am #

    you am i
    i am you
    we are one
    just variations in space and time
    thats all.

  26. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 5 February 2009 at 11:06 am #

    Steve Kilbey is multifaceted, complicated, passionate, eclectic, flamboyant, edgy, literary, on fire, suffering, peaceful, angry, creative, enigmatic, struggling, spontaneous, forceful, underrated.

    Steve Kilbey is a puzzle, where the pieces will never fit together. Luckily for us.

  27. avatar
    catchow | 5 February 2009 at 12:11 pm #

    not so easy to say who you are…
    only knowing you through your songs ;paintings and so surprising
    Blog…which are ones of your so
    many aspect of your brilliant personality with ,maybe ,a little
    touch of egotism…all i know is that there’s only ONE guy like you on hearth! yes ,SK is unique!…
    and if you want more details ,
    Steve,do read …your biography
    to be released pretty soon we are all waiting for!

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 12:16 pm #

    is this stuff like a group therapy thing?

  29. avatar
    iseult | 5 February 2009 at 12:30 pm #

    you are my equal
    you are my energy
    you are my solace
    you are my delight
    you are my rhythm
    you are my parallelogram
    you are my challenge
    you are my inspiration
    you are my radiance
    you are my transcendence
    you are my dreamflyer
    you are my wordringer
    you are my song’s singer

  30. avatar
    Freddie | 5 February 2009 at 1:39 pm #

    So, uh..it doesn’t bother you that you’re an arrogant SOB on every level?
    😛
    😉

  31. avatar
    seoigh | 5 February 2009 at 3:31 pm #

    Now that’s quite the ironic question, given the context.

    I have an endless list of what I can do that does not define me; I have an endless list of what I cannot do that does not define me.

    If you want me to bore you with the specifics of my own personal mortal coil, I’d be happy to oblige.

    For now, I am the person who knows that seoigh is pronounced something like “shoy”, so at least you know one more thing about me than you did before you read this.

  32. avatar
    Freddie | 5 February 2009 at 3:48 pm #

    I miss the power to delete my own stupid comments.
    Don’t post my last one pleeeeeeese!!
    Thanks,
    Freddie
    xo

  33. avatar
    restaurant mark | 5 February 2009 at 4:19 pm #

    i have too hard of a time figuring out who i am to figure out who you are…

    take care
    mark

  34. avatar
    EDD | 5 February 2009 at 4:28 pm #

    Ahh, fuck it, dude. Let’s go bowling!

  35. avatar
    Paul Lightfoot | 5 February 2009 at 5:09 pm #

    Hate to say it but you not living in Sydney is like.. Not having the Sydney Harbour Bridge, or Luna Park. You’re such a Sydney “icon” to me. If I drive thru Rozelle, I think of you. if I’m in Bondi, I think of you. If I’m in Darlinghurst, I think of you. Melbourne won’t be the same, as personally I’ve never been mad on the place. But you gotta do what you gotta do. And as Barry the shark fodder (RIP) would have no doubt said; “Lightfoot, who gives a f*ck what you think, get a life”. :))

  36. avatar
    davem | 5 February 2009 at 6:32 pm #

    Peerless. Unique. Magical. Timeless.
    You pluck melody from the darkest places.
    Your words transport me from the mundane to a place of beauty and wonder.
    Your art has made at least a part of every day of my life in the last 27 years special.
    I owe you so much.
    Thank you SK.
    x

  37. avatar
    A.M. | 5 February 2009 at 7:07 pm #

    Your question — Who am I? — reminds me of one of my faves from the film Wings of Desire. [NOTE: Due to size of the window frame, length of lines may be distorted.]

    ——–
    Song of Childhood
    By Peter Handke

    When the child was a child
    It walked with its arms swinging,
    wanted the brook to be a river,
    the river to be a torrent,
    and this puddle to be the sea.

    When the child was a child,
    it didn’t know that it was a child,
    everything was soulful,
    and all souls were one.

    When the child was a child,
    it had no opinion about anything,
    had no habits,
    it often sat cross-legged,
    took off running,
    had a cowlick in its hair,
    and made no faces when photographed.

    When the child was a child,
    It was the time for these questions:
    Why am I me, and why not you?
    Why am I here, and why not there?
    When did time begin, and where does space end?
    Is life under the sun not just a dream?
    Is what I see and hear and smell
    not just an illusion of a world before the world?
    Given the facts of evil and people.
    does evil really exist?
    How can it be that I, who I am,
    didn’t exist before I came to be,
    and that, someday, I, who I am,
    will no longer be who I am?

    When the child was a child,
    It choked on spinach, on peas, on rice pudding,
    and on steamed cauliflower,
    and eats all of those now, and not just because it has to.

    When the child was a child,
    it awoke once in a strange bed,
    and now does so again and again.
    Many people, then, seemed beautiful,
    and now only a few do, by sheer luck.

    It had visualized a clear image of Paradise,
    and now can at most guess,
    could not conceive of nothingness,
    and shudders today at the thought.

    When the child was a child,
    It played with enthusiasm,
    and, now, has just as much excitement as then,
    but only when it concerns its work.

    When the child was a child,
    It was enough for it to eat an apple, … bread,
    And so it is even now.

    When the child was a child,
    Berries filled its hand as only berries do,
    and do even now,
    Fresh walnuts made its tongue raw,
    and do even now,
    it had, on every mountaintop,
    the longing for a higher mountain yet,
    and in every city,
    the longing for an even greater city,
    and that is still so,
    It reached for cherries in topmost branches of trees
    with an elation it still has today,
    has a shyness in front of strangers,
    and has that even now.
    It awaited the first snow,
    And waits that way even now.

    When the child was a child,
    It threw a stick like a lance against a tree,
    And it quivers there still today.

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 7:30 pm #

    not so much man as portal
    to experiences we’re unable to utter
    the sound to the feelings we shrink from
    a star to guide our water logged crafts
    keeper of the garden we gaze into from behind a gate
    SK doesnt need this crowd forming
    yet he notices our footprints when he steps out

  39. avatar
    Cee | 5 February 2009 at 8:12 pm #

    Seoigh is future you or you are Seoigh now

    That’s what it says in my copy of the script, anyway…

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 8:21 pm #

    The olde buoys lost at sea!

    someone throw him a sharkskin vest and
    that olde sinatra/jobim reckid.

    breathe easy, better yet…just breathe.

    -glynnis
    who fergot his password

  41. avatar
    fantasticandy | 5 February 2009 at 8:25 pm #

    i think youv’e had quite enough ‘lurve’ for one day ole man!

    you DO make a difference though…

    surely that does make a difference to you too?

  42. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 8:49 pm #

    it’s a fair question freddie. Steve seems to see things in a hierarchal manner a lot of the time while he doesn’t like others who do so.

  43. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 5 February 2009 at 8:59 pm #

    ” Save A Mountain For Me” is the Godley and Creme Steve kilbey song.

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 February 2009 at 9:48 pm #

    woman:”do these pants make my arse look fat?” man:”no,I think its all the crap you eat that does that!”xo;/

  45. avatar
    CSTCoach | 5 February 2009 at 10:09 pm #

    SK is SK. SK exists beyond the realm of definitions. That’s all.

  46. avatar
    lily was here | 6 February 2009 at 10:06 am #

    Steve Kilbey is a constant seeker of approval and disapproval, a tireless champion of the unspoken word, a lover not a fighter, a grinner not a winner, has a wry sense of humour that could have you on toast, devotedly loves his family and good friends, loves to take you astral travelling through his intelligent eyes and rarely misses the target.

    He’s had all vaccinations, is house-trained and has been regularly wormed.

    He frustrates the hell out of me at times (“there’s a gig on THIS weekend?”) but is so adorable I think I’ll keep him forever even when he loses his cuteness and starts to drop hair all over the floor.

    The best way to enjoy The Time Being is to completely surrender

    love xoxo

    ps its way too hot to think straight sk! Your mansuit – is it cheeky harlequin?

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 July 2009 at 12:02 am #

    You know what you are yet you don't. You are the Self, the Unborn, Para Brahman. Without beginning, without end. Radically transcending yet including all dualities.

    I can tell you are close… Time to wake up olde fella.


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.