posted on April 30, 2009 at 8:45 pm

then this happened
then that happened
then someone said yes
and someone said no
and the night followed day
and the day followed night
steve kilbey pushing 55 (not out)
unknown even to myself
capable of anything
and like billy said
the killer in me is the killer in you
and billy told me
i used to be a little childe
so olde in my shoes….
and then i looked
and billy was a’singing my words
i shoulda believed eve
she said billy
you better blow
she was the apple of my eye
and i see eve kilbey
with her dryadic hair
and i think of eden
and i think of marco boleyn riding on his zee-bra
i think of all the beautiful things ever painted sung and written
and i think of my 40 years of music
and now
and only now
does she truly open herself up to me
a slow learner but i persevered
i paint in a trance
i paint inner trance
oh i wish i could describe the feeling of power
as it all comes back to me
i am starting to remember how it is done
i cant believe i have been so awkward clumsy n blind
sometimes i’m a bull in a china shoppe
sometimes i’m a bully in a playground
sometimes i’m a whore on my knees
sometimes i’m a thief in your night
sometimes….ah, but you get the picture
i wanna see whos inside me
i wanna see whose pulling the strings and why
maybe somebody else out there is descended from the monkeys
but not i
and dont blame me for the eighties
and i’m always expecting some jealous rain on my parade
voice in another room : some spurned “collaborator”…
and ive still got some tricks up my steve
i dont know exactly what they will be yet
it all works differently for everybody
i’m stuck here with me so i try to honestly describe it
i’m obsessed with me because somebody else was
i lose a grip on meaning
and i’m floating then free-falling through
a meaningless sky
its meaning less by the moment
the melting moments you mouth motionlessly
i conceal
i reveal
i embrace
i solace
i flutter by almost with you
this is how i feel today
finally a small grumbling #23 backlash
why dont they make that perfect record themselves then?
why do i take it so personally?
why do i sometimes lose it and argue with a wanker from
wanchorage?
you cant take a flame and expect it not to burn
my fiery nature is the source of my creativity
i take everything personally
i take world war one personally
i take the inquisition personally
i take slavery and torture very personally
i take a dew drop poised on the edge of an emerald leaf personally
i take magnificent sunsets personally
i take frail old ladies personally
i take street kids and winos personally
i take old sick men in hospital personally
i take the grey shore at dawn personally
i take E minor to G personally
i take crimson and purple personally
i take love and hate personally
i am a super taster of life
all experiences crowd in on me
i have hardly any detachment
(hence the opiate addiction(s))
i stand there with my thinnest of skins
i stand there with my old irregular heart on my sleeve
i stand there in the wind
TELLING YOU EVERYTHING
i dont shy away although i am quite shy
my hopes my defeats whatever who cares
still i restlessly burn
whatever happens out there
whoever loves me
whoever hates me
whoevers never heard of me
i remain locked on
and locked into myself
unable to escape
but starting to enjoy it in some strangest way
i am ruffian i am snob i am slob i am heart throb
i am modern i am older i am a cold shoulder
i am a shoulder to cry on
i am a singer a pommy whinger a middle finger
i linger n i gone
i fluent in pastel
i king of the castle
i the dirtiest rascal
im broke but im not breaking
smack couldnt break me
money isnt gonna either
im drowning in daughters
blessed with sweet youthful female energy for ever
a good friend or a miserable enemy i am
if you wanna upset me
i can hate thoroughly
and i love revenge
as much as i love the honesty
that compels me to give you the unexpurgated version of me
as if we WERE friends
dont expect me not to be childish
because dont you see
I AM A CHILDE
ha ha ha
a childe of god
a childe of the universe
a childe of les n joyce
the childe writes n paints n he bitches n blathers
some suave guy over yonder is writing a very a civilized blog
he never bites or takes the bait
but why arent you reading him…?
none of you can guide me
(voice in another bank account :but you can commission a blog…!)
i write without fear or favour
voice in another kitchen : sometimes with no flavour, saviour
i am kilbey
get over it!
pay me my dues
read my lips
dig my trips
watch in amazement as he back-flips
watch your little genius trade insults with a wancker..big deal!
dont tell me to grow up lest i become like all the others
meanwhile…..
ah fuck
i ran outta time!

21 Responses to “doggerel”

  1. avatar
    steve kilbey | 30 April 2009 at 10:18 pm #

    to commission blog
    put suggested title on your receipt
    sent
    to my gmail account
    ta

  2. avatar
    fantasticandy | 30 April 2009 at 10:21 pm #

    i’m here ‘coz of who you are….
    i CAN relate.

  3. avatar
    Cee | 30 April 2009 at 10:52 pm #

    A symbiotic relationship then.

  4. avatar
    Mary | 30 April 2009 at 11:42 pm #

    I too can relate!

  5. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 1 May 2009 at 12:35 am #

    if you read this blog real fast all the way thru you definitely get a different view, so esskay when do we get our dues???
    Jonny

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 May 2009 at 1:51 am #

    Steve,
    Awesome idea for the blog commission.
    I think your awesome!
    I write here anonymously because i don’t have a blogspot account, and i really enjoy leaving comments from time to time.
    So if you block anons, then the good anons wouldn’t get through either.
    Its better to censor them, but i am not quite sure how it works…

    People that say bad things about you have a lot of problems in their heart, so the people that have good in their heart will see you for who you really are.
    Hope your cold is getting better!
    -Allen

  7. avatar
    Celticat | 1 May 2009 at 5:33 am #

    Sk & friendss

    Steven Cummings was interviewed on Perth ABC Radio yesterday.

    For what it's worth, a podcast of the interview is available at:

    http://www.abc.net.au/local/audio/2009/05/01/2558272.htm?site=perth&rotator=true

    Love to all.

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 May 2009 at 6:02 am #

    steve

    something dodgy is going on with comments giving us the right to delete them, even though we are not the author…just for info…

    cheers mate

    marc

  9. avatar
    davem | 1 May 2009 at 6:07 am #

    Please don’t ever change, I kind of like you just the way you are.

    Sung with harmony and gusto on a Friday morning in blighty.

    As for #23…there were always going to be some grumbles, you can’t please all of the people all of the time. Not everyone likes P=A!! Fools.

    Have a great weekend.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 May 2009 at 6:18 am #

    Aleluyas

    My beautiful boy in on at the cavern
    A fire that burns inside me
    Like a fraction or flake
    It is all for your sake
    Good taste of the hills
    Escalating like someone who never falls
    Behind your stupidly immense mind
    That labors over prior nights
    To conquer the matter
    Right at the center of this samsara
    There are no missteps
    Between the cracks of ether and fire
    You open fireworks from an essential flower
    And you move ever forward
    Through words from your wild flora
    You are a restless golden horse
    Drinking water from the seventh sun
    You are nothing but a yes from all corners
    Where nos give up to drive
    You strive to get to Eldorado
    Like a 3pm star from the Garden
    And you know the language of the trees
    As your leaves keep arriving
    At your most fertile age
    On love-oiled wheels while you mouth honeyed motions
    That become melting moments
    A continuous stream of gifts that boils
    In the eyes of the loyal
    Royal child, unlimited
    A spiritual account that feeds the years
    Doesn’t believe in this fictional world
    Crawls over colors
    Lingers on all-possible tomorrows
    Runs from obedience
    Perspiring lyrical freedom
    A child who’s disarmed by an alien smile, uninvited and untitled
    Like the best promises, poems and days
    A child I love and treasure
    As the utmost, fragile fruit of life.

  11. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 1 May 2009 at 8:48 am #

    “none of you can guide me”

    Of course we can’t – and I don’t think any of us want to. And we most certainly don’t want you to become like all the others. That goes without saying.

  12. avatar
    Jasperina | 1 May 2009 at 10:30 am #

    I remember my parents saying to me as a child …why do you take everything so seriously…so of course then I felt bad about my acute sensitivity. That is what I now have learnt to embrace about myself and I agree it relates directly to the creative angst. My daughter laughs when I become teary easily. I said to her this morning… in this life I want to feel things.. I could think of nothing worse than living in a numb state. I’m with you..I take it all personally. Keep the bewitching flame alive.

  13. avatar
    growfins | 1 May 2009 at 10:44 am #

    There have been many postings like today’s which I might file under ” self affirming rants “. Dont get me wrong they’re all good.
    A great balancing act between positive attitude, ego, a bit of self deprecation and carrying on regardless !
    Just like a songwriter or poet’s ability to tackle the same theme in an infinite number of ways.
    Keep on being yourself SK !
    Its just what I needed to hear today after being made redundant after nearly 15 years with the same employer.
    Any other GFC victims out there ?

  14. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 1 May 2009 at 11:24 am #

    anon. at 4:18…..wow, that was beautiful….
    y’ know, the more i listen to # 23 the more i love it, but i have a sense of this melancholy pervading so many of the songs, not that it in any way detracts from the power or beauty of the songs, on the contrary, it adds to them……maybe there’s so much acclaim for your album because in some way you’ve captured the spirit of the age……
    can’t you hear the world’s collective heart breaking?
    love always…..

  15. avatar
    Damien | 1 May 2009 at 11:41 am #

    Hi, Steve

    I finally received my copy of the new album today (plus a few other goodies)from the Church merch.

    That moment before you listen to a new Church album for the first time is an exciting one. “What have they come up with this time?” one wonders.

    Well, I have only given the album one spin thus far and first impressions are pleasing. I particularly like “Operetta” and “On Angel Street” is so heart-achingly sad! The overall sound of the album is very clean too. I never liked the muddy sound of Forget Yourself and I find I’ve always evaluated subsequent albums partly by how their production stacks up against that of FY. That’s not to say FY isn’t a good record, it’s just the production that didn’t appeal to me.

    Anyway, I’m drifting from the point, which is that you have a satisfied customer here, Mr Kilbey.

    Untitled #23 is everything a Church fan (well, this Church fan anyway) wants!

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 May 2009 at 1:06 pm #

    BRAVO !!! YOUR ON FIRE LATELY. KEEP IT GOING. I SORT OF FEEL LIKE A DICK NOT COUGHING UP SOME LOOT AFTER THE LAST 4 OR SO YEARS READING AND ENJOYING YOUR BLOG AND THE COMMENTS FROM YOUR GREAT FAN BASE. AT LEAST MOST OF THEM. I’M STRONGLY CONSIDERING THE 2 YEAR CONTRIBUTION. AS FAR AS THE DICK NOSE, WANKER, PEA BRAIN,LOWLIFE THAT IS PIPING IN HIS USELESS COMMENTARY. I WOULD BE GLAD TO STRAITEN YA OUT IF YOU ARE NEAR MICH. EVERYONE HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND. MJ FRIM

  17. avatar
    John Garratt | 1 May 2009 at 1:16 pm #

    I once was in a rock band that self-released an EP. A local paper said that we sounded like “cold, stale airline food.”

    I bet the Church never got such praise.

  18. avatar
    John | 1 May 2009 at 5:44 pm #

    SK,

    Old news but Untitled #23 truly is wonderful! I am endlessly amazed at both the consisteny and uniqueness in your music.

    For me Church CDs are always hard to digest at first, because I’m usually still stuck on loving the last release and you force me to go a new direction I don’t think I want to go at first, but in the end it always rewards.

    Pangaea and Happenstance were so easy to love right off the bat. Dead Man’s Hand as well, and if you don’t mind my 2 cents should have been the opener for this album. I love it and it’s that classic Church opener song. (I would have put Cobalt Blue between Pangaea and Happensatnce just to break up the atrmospehere a bit, but what do I know?)

    The second half of this release surprised me the most. It was the part that required more listens to appreciate, but seems to be rewarding me more in the end. I have to be honest, lyrically I have always preferred your ‘true’ songs, Seen It Coming, Buffalo, etc., and Angel Street is heartwrenching. Great great song. Anchorage has some of the most clever diametrical lyrics there are. Lunar is soulfull and Operetta the perfect closer, love the harmonies.

    Nobody wants to read all this, so I’ll stop, but I just want to say thanks for U23.

    John

  19. avatar
    stealthblue | 1 May 2009 at 7:01 pm #

    Happy May Day everyone! (I know for some it has already passed, same to you belated) Hope everybody's well! Lots o' P&L

    Cheers,

    Ben

  20. avatar
    pennybridge | 1 May 2009 at 8:15 pm #

    Lovely, anon at 4.18
    I guess we´re all TTB-addicted
    Now take THAT personally 🙂

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 May 2009 at 10:28 pm #

    Hey Mr. K.,

    Been fired & hired, & and hopefully this time… inspired (this time w/o the "dutch alternative-veggy man's supplies", that is)!

    Thx 4 wonderful inspiration through your exquisite writing, painting and music (of course also with Mr. W-P, Mr. K, and Mr. P). We've been enjoying it every day (yeah… faint praise, whatever)…

    As always, as anon, but that's gotta do with being "straight" (whatever that may mean) and the unbearable lightness of (old) bad habits,

    Love from the fifth sleeper,
    x
    Cracka, K & our doodles (6; "send SK a big kiss" – could you resist?)

    yeah… I've been a dad today!


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