posted on October 6, 2010 at 3:02 pm

haze 0-6 at 13.03

unreality truly sets in

some other geezer  not  kilbey wakes up

wakes up in the middle of my dream

its the morning he gets up tries to remember the names

outside its warm soft and fuzzy

glide down the street to the swimming pool

his legs seem springy and oh how he strides along

listen to some music on the headphones

listen to some jazzy piano thingy

listen to the echoes stretch into the distance

cotton wool world

arrive n dive into the cold pool

he hardly notices the shock of the green water full of seaweed and particulate matter

the limbs do the swim

the head outside of itself

he is baffled at what is happening

this vast show with cast and crew

here in this green pool numbed down n finally free

he who is/was me kicks lazily through the water

the sun shines warmly

the rain falls as the tiniest almost imperceptible shivery points

your arm tingles as it drifts down

the seaside suburb is in a dream

they are all asleep at their roles

they are all dreaming they are awake

sit in the blistering sauna after cold pool

i chat to the sweating people in there

i mean everybody knows me

he pretending to be me

talks in some laconic dopey way

as the sweat gushes in the incredible heat

but inside my head its icy cool no one really home

the geezer in the mirror some middle ages australian dial

christ whole days are wasted in weird follies

paranoia got me by the jollies

i slink thinkless shadowing somebody i feel a fool

i’m lost hiding in the doorway of a shop

i cant wake up from any of these dreams

i cry but its hard to cry

i reach out but its hard to reach out

i tell the truth but its hard to tell the truth

i live but its hard to live

i love but its hard to love

and i leave

but its hard to leave

23 Responses to “dreamy day”

  1. avatar
    Karen | 6 October 2010 at 5:13 pm #

    came to read the latest and theres another one:O surprise

    Crying is good if its in small doses, Im happy ( ha ha ) havent been on anti depressants for two years now, none of that numbing shit anymore..
    Everyone wears a mask , if they dont well Id like to meet them…all those people that say Im me Im the real me take me as I am blah blah
    whats real anyway?
    most people including me have to go through the motions every single frigging day… (work …life ….
    until your alone
    i get it sk and Im sure a lot of people do…

  2. avatar
    Susan | 6 October 2010 at 5:58 pm #

    “Some other geezer, not Kilbey. . .wakes up in the middle of my dream”. . .Oh, I do feel that sense of strangeness, of detachment, much more these days. The disconnect between what is in the mirror, what is walking down the street, and what is motivating it all, is sometimes very disconcerting. Then again sometimes it is the only thing that saves me. I love this one, Steven.

  3. avatar
    hellbound heart | 6 October 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    when you were describing being in the pool i had straitjacket fits’ down in splendor echoing in my head……dreamy….

    love always…..

  4. avatar
    Wiild Chiild | 6 October 2010 at 7:58 pm #

    Amazing sk
    I felt every word of that

    • avatar
      . | 6 October 2010 at 10:21 pm #

      the noise surrounds, compounds the shatter
      while my mirror of Others, scurry and scatter
      where did they come from, where will they go
      on earth to stay or some valley laid low
      there is no reason and when reason forbids
      i can’t control Them so unto others i give
      reflection as a waking dream of a life once passed
      london, seoul, the canary islands, bedford falls, belfast
      i thought it’d get better, carry on mental sore
      i thought i’d figure it out as i insist & implore
      music and its’ essence, my eternal tonic to remedy
      the blue winter, mania, the “not again” tragedy
      the old geezer’s surrounded as we cast off, full sail
      the sea like silver slipping, avoid the white whale
      lay in a course as we plot the chart by steve
      blue skies, clear horizons, warm rain, bittersweet

  5. avatar
    Wilfred Paradise | 6 October 2010 at 9:59 pm #

    Steve, join back up w/ your bandmates, m’man, after you relax a bit, that is. Get your focus back, or everything may get you. Ad some ‘ic’ to the end of the muse. ah, ah. wilfred paradise

  6. avatar
    evilren | 6 October 2010 at 10:22 pm #

    who the hell am I?

  7. avatar
    Galamor the Wizard | 6 October 2010 at 11:38 pm #

    Have just found out about the induction Steve. Fantastic news! About BLOODY time!!! Will see if I can make it for the ceremony to be part of the ovation. Play “Anesthesia” or “Happenstance” to freak the straights who’ll expect you to play “the Unguarded Moment”!!!

  8. avatar
    DavidP | 6 October 2010 at 11:48 pm #

    oh Steve, man
    this is your best blog in a long while, imho
    some more objective awareness seems to be breaking through
    i think that’s great
    probably partly the result of staying clean
    if ya know what i a mean
    the some other geezer is the real eternal you
    there can be a certain melancholy that comes with that
    in recognizing the follies, fascades etc in everyday life
    its always a bit uncomfortable at first to be awoken from the sleep
    and to see everyone around sleepwalking through waking life
    it might seem disconcerting Susan but not if you know what it is
    and what wonderful potential it has
    Hi Karen, nice to meet you.
    been wanting to get to the pool for a while sk but been too busy lately
    next week i might actually have a fulltime paying job so hope to catch
    ya down there before I’m tied up on the 9 to 5 treadmill, hopefully Friday
    i feel for ya
    i wish you all the strength

    • avatar
      DavidP | 8 October 2010 at 1:19 pm #

      missed the pool again!
      i’ve been a bit sick the last 1.5 days, I seem to have a fever
      haven’t been able to sleep these past 2 or 3 nights
      wanted to catch up with you but alas fever and insomnia intervened
      i think there’s some truth to what eekie says below
      all the best sk

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 October 2010 at 1:09 am #

    It must seem so odd sometimes being such an unaverage man. The conflict of that to an average world (sometimes). But it’s a gift. The day looks warm.

  10. avatar
    andy | 7 October 2010 at 3:27 am #

    geez……
    noboby can emote quite like you killer.
    yer too complex for your own good.
    we reap the rewards,
    you take the voltage.
    ouch.

  11. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 7 October 2010 at 4:57 am #

    Adrift in life and as yourself or maybe so many others, can a past life be rippling up at the surface and you need to calmly ask to retreat? I feel past lives at many times during my days awake and sometimes asleep. I believe i was a soldier in one. possibly during the civil war era because of the beauty that the background resonates with me. no buildings of size and skylines to distort. i am just wandering, looking for someone or something and than i lose course. wish it would continue more.

    AsAlways,
    BrokenToysAndHeros

    The rifle in my hand is the clue to my timeline of the Civil War. I can barely see what i am wearing- but the boots are of a military sort. And the smell of gunpowder is prominent. this is no joke.

  12. avatar
    dwellingwell | 7 October 2010 at 6:32 am #

    That was good S.K. I read it twice. I would like to read some of your prose. where can I find it ? Anyways . I was reading the Nobel Prize address of Yasunari Kawabata. http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1968/kawabata-lecture-e.html This is very interesting. I only got into two Japanese writers: Kawabata and Mishima . “Snow country” and “The sound of the mountain” are both really good novels by Kawabata. A great Mishima novel is “The sailor who fell from grace with the sea” There are a couple distinct spaces Mishima has that I like: One is seen with the garden love scene with Noboru’s Mother and the Sailor. Very lovely and soft. Delicate and graceful. The other has this fire-like vitriol…as is seen in the speech by the head of Noburu’s gang “The Chief”
    http://www.amazon.com/Sailor-Who-Fell-Grace-Sea/dp/0679750150#reader_0679750150

  13. avatar
    bionicanna | 7 October 2010 at 8:33 am #

    swimming back to the beginning

  14. avatar
    Karen | 7 October 2010 at 5:32 pm #

    Hi Darrin and Donna and David P ( lot of d’s) all of the ppl whom have acknowledged me of late , only been coming here for a couple of months and Im sucked in already ….addicted :O oh no:O
    Im the new kid” on the sk band wagon seems like he has a lots of faithful follwers …liked the church back in the day ( 46 now ) and stumbled apon said blog one day….. been sneakily looking and recently posting little bits & bobs
    l like the art liked the church but I really love the writing

    • avatar
      eekie | 7 October 2010 at 7:26 pm #

      Hey Karen, don’t sneak around — strip off, jump in, and let it all hang out! 😉

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 7 October 2010 at 10:51 pm #

      Karen,

      If u have followed the church from back in the day or just discovered them and SK now, you r now part of a community (an ever growing and expanding one). One that is caring, insightful, dedicated and if anything else, passionate: about many topics. Art, music, media, environment, politics and such- but most important-each other and our beloved moderator-SK and all his workings(art,solo projects,poetry,the church, etc…).
      Glad to have u with all of us d’s and dont forget Davem.
      Have a great day-Cheers from here in Chicago.
      AsAlways,
      BrokenToysAndHeros
      Darrin K.

      • avatar
        Donna | 8 October 2010 at 11:07 am #

        Hi Karen!
        Still tired? I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had any time to read Steve’s blog…I checked in real fast today at work, and saw your comment. I’m with you – 44, fell in love with the Church waaay back, stumbled upon The Time Being, and have become addicted to Steve’s daily post – kind of like my morning cup of coffee! So good! And, it’s good to have you here! Anyway, I’ve got some catching up to do….

        Donna (d’s!!)

  15. avatar
    eekie | 7 October 2010 at 7:25 pm #

    The disassociation sounds like a coping mechanism for someone under a shitload of stress. While having coping mechanisms are better than not having them, this is still worrisome (to me anyway). Of course, being under so much stress that you need such a coping mechanism in the first place is more worrisome than having said coping mechanism. So, yeah.

  16. avatar
    veleska1970 | 7 October 2010 at 9:02 pm #

    perchance to dream…..

  17. avatar
    Donna | 8 October 2010 at 11:33 am #

    Steve, I can’t tell if you’re awake or dreaming…anyway, I like the dream-like quality of this piece. It’s funny how in dreams you want to run, but your legs are stuck, or you want to fly, but your feet are scraping against the rooftops and treetops. Recently in my dreams i saw my grandfather and my younger sister, who have both passed away, and I cried and cried. In these dreams I felt like I couldn’t breath. I wanted to get near them, but I couldn’t get near. Everyone in my dreams kept asking me what was wrong with me. I woke up feeling drained.

  18. avatar
    neptune | 8 October 2010 at 2:49 pm #

    It is the split second upon awakening, that is the true you – unspoiled by earthly thoughts and influences. It is that fleeting moment …. that is our true self.


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