posted on October 30, 2006 at 12:33 am

*this anachronym remains ambiguous
even to me who am the only one and only one
it oscillates between
frequently unasked questions
foolish useless queries
and a mysterious phrase in hebrew
which could give unlimited power to he
that uttereth it……..

FUQ : i have recently bought a number of time being products.
what do you recommend for maximum enjoyment of my tb range?
ANSA : the time being personally guarantees all tb products
when you have finished with tb simply rinse off
roll up and ready to re-use
those with tb nevets yeblick compatible interface should consult
the tb factory at 1 8000-ANATHEMA
before adjusting the implication mechanisms
model 13.9.54.sk can malfunktion
always turn off after use
dont let overheat
no ironing makeup microwave gossip

FUQ : can you explain the relativity between sk, nevets and
tb characters? my girlfriend and I are quite curious to see
how it all works….
ANTSA : its all quite simple really
see them as a trinity
nevets yeblik is the son
he is the mercurial, the maverick
the most human
the one who makes mistakes
the trickster,
the sacrifice in the wilderness of entertainment
the union and uniter
and then theres sk
hes the father
the creator
the ancient of days
an old man with a white beard
the serious side
the aloof detached locus
the prime fucking mover
the big daddy
and finally the time being himself or itself
the wholly spirit
the essence of all time beings
the essential emanations from but not including sk
om tat sat a mat
the time being is neither nor either or
if you can dig that subtlety…
the time being will exist forever in different forms
the time being is the continuum of time beings
including sk and nevets but not necessarily
the 3 are aspects of the one
steve kilbey
any apparent discontinuity
is perhaps merely the flux
as the various aspects recombine
each always present in some quantity
always a mixture of the 3
is it starting to make sense?
FUQ : i’m trying to contact nevets yeblik…
can you give me his contact details?
ANS: nevets yeblik is an imaginary character on a blogge.
are you crazy?
FUQ : I eat meat and i vote for the right.
I enjoy drinking beer and watching the football
with my friends Brad, Mike n Jeff.
I have a gas guzzler 4wheeldrive
a hairy chest with a leo pendant
and a key to the vip bathroom.
I pull down 400k a year
as a IT consultant in a fluorescent lit office
in the big end of town.
ive never heard of hawkwind.
despite all this i dont feel like
a “straight”……can you ask the trinity their opinions
please…..i wont be able to rest till
i hear what they have to say….
ANSTA :
nevets says: you “straight” bastard, you running dog capitalist
bastard , you yes-man, you cog in the machine, you…you…
oh shuttup
sk says : could you get me a job in that office,
i used to be good with computers….
time being says : i am you as he is me and we are us and
they are untogether….om sat a day man, i mean, ..
actually i dont think vishnu does like you….

FUQ : i wish my husband was more like the time being….
can you give me some simple hints as to encourage him
to be more like the lovely tb?
ANSA : madame, 1st of all ask yourself this
do i have time for my own time being?
could i satisfy his peculiar dietary needs?
could i regularly execise him and play with him?
if he gets hurt will i just chuck him aside like an olde rag?
if he needs me, will i be there 24 hours a day
with my cheque book open if he needs alone
will i agree with his every utterance and worship
unquestioningly even if i hear or see ludicrous things, which
quite frankly, might make me doubt his omnipotence?
if the answer to all this was yes we can pro-seed
with the hince.
1st of all
he’ll want nut cutlets n soy bon bons ever nite
just after he finishes contemplating his navel
and a quick bit of pie-laertes
then quick light that sandalwould josh stick
and put on some eno
maybe music for sea ports
then i guess a jaeger/goji/redbull cocktail
(shaken AND stirred!)
a bit of tantra or tarantula
or tanto in stockholm
time beings enjoy being time beings
panda to your hero
shower him in rose petals
run his bath of asses milk
(donkeys or mules will do in a pinch)
nurse those vipers to his bosom
have his chariot decorated
unleash the kraken
and no eggplant cucumber or capsicum!
your prototimebeing is now ready for testing
have fun!!!
FUQ : i dont believe you can be bothered trying to squeeze
any more laughs outta this lame turkey.
ANSA : thats not a question
FUQ : ok, …..i dont believe you can be bothered trying to squeeze
any more laughs out of this lame turkey…do you?
ANSA : no

35 Responses to “F.U.Q : the time being *”

  1. avatar
    Peter Podcast | 30 October 2006 at 3:58 am #

    I guess your never alone when your a Trinity?

  2. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 30 October 2006 at 4:05 am #

    FUQ: what will you be for me Halloween???
    ANSA: me will be V for me VENDETTA

  3. avatar
    Chris Kan | 30 October 2006 at 5:20 am #

    cookin’.
    nuff said.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 October 2006 at 5:55 am #

    awesome
    not lame

  5. avatar
    Brian | 30 October 2006 at 6:04 am #

    LOL 😀

  6. avatar
    fergal | 30 October 2006 at 6:29 am #

    well what a trinity!
    and trinities have always been magik to the celts
    ~

  7. avatar
    eek | 30 October 2006 at 8:29 am #

    How did you know about my hairy chest and leo pendant??!! :shiftylook:

  8. avatar
    captainmission | 30 October 2006 at 8:44 am #

    FUQ
    lovely, especially the hebrew bit 🙂

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 October 2006 at 9:05 am #

    I promise to NEVER, EVER leave the house without a lighter again!

  10. avatar
    fantasticandy | 30 October 2006 at 9:19 am #

    h to he who am the only one:first track,’killer’! best track,’house with no door’. have YOU ever lived there?——-nice one killbo,nice.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 October 2006 at 9:20 am #

    v funny

  12. avatar
    sue cee | 30 October 2006 at 9:53 am #

    Hilarious! But how many free steak knives do u get?

    Doubletake when i saw ‘steve kilbey’. What’s he doing in your blog nevets?

    Oh shit LOL I just realised I wrote steak knives.. sorry, you wouldnt include them with any tb products but maybe its a scheme to get rid of them all?! 🙂

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 October 2006 at 10:25 am #

    Hmmmm…you mention the ‘Soy Bon-Bons”…..

    I don’t think I know that branch of the family…..are they from the Massachussetts Bon-Bons? Possibly the San Francisco Bon-Bons…..? Or the Vanderbilt Bon-Bons from Saratoga?

    I’m not related to any of ’em.

    B.Appetite

    B.Bon

  14. avatar
    sue cee | 30 October 2006 at 10:33 am #

    SK & MWP dates:
    Tues 21st Nov – The Sando, Newtown
    Tues 28th Nov – The Sando, Newtown (sydney)
    Wed 6th Dec – Clarendon, Katoomba (blue mtns)
    Wed 13th Dec – Northcote Social Club (melb)
    Sun 17th Dec – Troubadour (brisbane)

  15. avatar
    one bad poet | 30 October 2006 at 12:05 pm #

    right . . . i get it
    the way to the sk is thru the nevets
    and both nevets & sk are part & parcel of the tb
    and the tb IS was and always will be . . .
    as simple as zero one three or a j.c.
    we’re the key to the lock
    that’s unlocked without a key
    a tb trinity in every entity
    where nothing is everything
    and everything’s nothing
    source of all beauty
    and all made tragedies
    an eternal water course
    or a world of metaphors
    for the lost, the unknown
    and every other thing sliding in-between

    hi

  16. avatar
    veleska1970 | 30 October 2006 at 12:50 pm #

    hysterical!!! a good laugh for a dreary monday morning….tx!!

    lotza love…

  17. avatar
    mattdavison | 30 October 2006 at 1:04 pm #

    I dig the subtlety………………

  18. avatar
    restaurant mark | 30 October 2006 at 1:26 pm #

    your a trip man…well, not just you, but the whole trinity!

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 October 2006 at 1:31 pm #

    EXCELLENT SIX O CLOCK LOGIC OLDE BEAN

  20. avatar
    Tokin' Jester | 30 October 2006 at 2:29 pm #

    AGAIN!! YA SLAY ME!!!~~

  21. avatar
    John Garratt | 30 October 2006 at 2:44 pm #

    This is handy. My Time Being instructions come written in Spanish.

    John

  22. avatar
    ambnt1 | 30 October 2006 at 4:26 pm #

    Steven,

    Haa haa! Frequently Unanswered Questions = FUQ (Fuck You)??
    That was a classic!!

    –Chris

    n.p. Ramp, “Oughtibridge”

  23. avatar
    gareth,notts | 30 October 2006 at 5:39 pm #

    you’re on a roll!!!!!

  24. avatar
    leelinau | 30 October 2006 at 5:49 pm #

    =^_^=

  25. avatar
    davem | 30 October 2006 at 7:40 pm #

    She is all out of nut cutlets…………….
    Where am I going wrong?
    Love you more,

    Dave M
    Excellent blogs lately. Better than ever. But it’s NEARLY November…gulp.

  26. avatar
    JJ | 30 October 2006 at 8:07 pm #

    I called 1-8000-ANATHEMA, I got football scores in between adverts for gas-guzzling SUV’s and Capsicum; thought “I’m FUQed, then.” Nut cutlets…what be those?

    They won’t let me light joss sticks here in the Lab, but I can shop the TimeBeing online store and proceed to checkout.

    JJ

  27. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 30 October 2006 at 10:31 pm #

    Brilliant!

  28. avatar
    stealthblue | 30 October 2006 at 10:33 pm #

    Do these Wholly Trinities come with an extended warranty? If so, how long and how much? Is the pre-set NCT
    (Naval Contemplation Time) variable? Can we adjust the maximum value? Also, is this unit MIDI compatible? 🙂

    That was great, you spacey rocker you! Yur da bess, Kilbo!
    Ben V.

  29. avatar
    ambnt1 | 30 October 2006 at 10:57 pm #

    The father, the sun, and the holy blog-post…

  30. avatar
    syrinx | 30 October 2006 at 10:58 pm #

    Do you take PayPal?

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2006 at 12:55 am #

    Bless our blogge
    this daily b_read
    and FUQive them that don’t.

    N lead us into temptation
    for thine is the kingdom
    the powder and the oily

    Today was a great FUQn storey!!

    Love
    Celticat

  32. avatar
    Melquiades | 31 October 2006 at 2:50 am #

    You see yourself in true triplicity
    There’s not one, but three,
    thrice blessed
    and she is the king

  33. avatar
    sue cee | 31 October 2006 at 7:44 am #

    There SHOULD be a paypal button on this blog, its so priceless. I feel guilty getting this all for nothing!

  34. avatar
    don joe | 31 October 2006 at 1:10 pm #

    Brilliant.

    Life’s good for u right now. Seems so relaxed and slight of hand. Like it’s M. Honey coming out of of the overturned jar..

    Keep doing what it is ur doing fiend.

    C u soon.

    ML,
    don joe

  35. avatar
    altrazz | 31 October 2006 at 2:38 pm #

    “I have a gas guzzler 4wheeldrive…”

    couldn’t be a more perfect description of the CAMEL that comes here for water.


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