posted on February 9, 2008 at 8:18 pm

run away run away run away
always running away
those ugly soldiers
stupid brutal creatures
lords and lieges battles and sieges
hack and crack and lord and sword
arrow spear bolt and jolt
dead kings
crowned prince
palace full of malice
they needed me then crow
before i met you darling bird
before i lost my gold
before i was old and out in the cold
that damned worm
killing killing burning returning
eating sleeping stinking flying
the prince was just a boy…
are you listening to me now, crow?
why you rude bird, you are ignoring me
oh the bloody rotteness of it all
ignored by a damned crow….
its bloody well come to this has it?
well in those days in those days
i had a lovely familiar
yes i thought that’d make you listen crow
you black devil bird
yes oh yes i had a love lovely familiar
oh you jealous old thing crow
ha ha dont peck me now
STOP ! that hurted me!
well i know you dont like to hear about owl
i told you crow dont you dare peck me again…..!
oh my poor owl….
roasted and eaten by that worm
she could spot a little mouse
high in the sky
so high we could hardly fly
oh her deep dark eyes, crow
oh she makes you seem almost blind, crow
now, crow, see what you did with your claws to my arm
oh the harm youve done to my arm…
how dare you treat me so you lowly thing
youre just an old black bag of bones
no decent wizards’d have you you know
no no no
ha ha ha crow
oh im so sorry my sweet my little birdy girl
i didnt mean to say those things
we’re all we’ve got, girl
we got to be nice to one another
a fine to-do a fine to-do
up a tree talking to a bird
am i really mad i wonder
maybe says the tree…dont break me branches
am i really quite done?
no no says my little one
oh no says crow
you’ll go and go and go…
you really think so crow?
crow goes: i dont know….
but little blackbird
you’d never work for another wizard would you?
she caws no no
but i can see shes thinking about that bastard warlock of grimsby
how dare you think of that imposter formerly of gloucester
before that cockfosters….
how dare you daydream of that rascal and rogue Toadfinger
that insipid and tepid druid
that spell-less smelly fraud and fellow
that yellow bellied forkbearded fuck-knuckled fool
spawn of a hag and an idiot ogre
not even a conjuror… not even a
how dare you caw that, crow?
how dare you caw that to me
up a tree
surrounded by the enemy?
oh how can you bear to break my old heart so, bird?
Toadfinger did not summon the storm
that quenched the worms fire…
that was me crow
or maybe just a seasonal shower
who knows it was mars or maybe novembre…
oh crow how can you believe these things?
shhh crow shhhh!
i dont want them soldiers finding us up this tree
what a pickle! what a set-to! what a bloody turn-up for the books!
crow cant you fly thereover…?
i can spy a little nest yonder in that leafy tree
do you think that there could be any little eggies for our breakfast..?
not now crow…wait till the soldiers go
no you really dont know anything do you crow
yes i mean except fly
and yes you can see far better than me
yes you do find things before theyre lost, mrs crow
look all right
you are a most useful creature
but please dont talk about Toadfinger in my company
save it for your friends the vulture and fox
how can you talk about the man who stole my life and
took my road and not expect me to explode?
damned toadfaced fool
damned frog features
damned obvious magic
damned idiots who think it was him did worm in
damned worm damned dragon
damned girlish prince the little prick
damned villainous villagers
oh they will all stew you stupid lot
oh crow dont worry bout the soldiers now
fly to that cosy nest and pluck me a little blue egg i can suck
magic doesnt happen on an empty stomach you know
how dare you offer me grubs from the disgusting soil?
i am a man
i cannot eat grubs or lizards or the hornets gizzards
fetch me an egg
must i beggy beg beg?
the nest is bare?
how many grubs
then are there?
why then crow
you must share!
only 3?
ha one for you
two for me

23 Responses to “fast and easy : enemy”

  1. avatar
    princey | 9 February 2008 at 9:51 pm #

    Thanks sk, I needed a giggle this morning.
    Love Amanda

  2. avatar
    linjo | 9 February 2008 at 11:05 pm #

    Catweazel, Toad, Prince Valiant Hairdos
    In awe

    The parochial old crone

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 February 2008 at 1:09 am #

    gorgeous.funny.beautiful.just magic SK! 😀 ox

  4. avatar
    Toadfinger | 10 February 2008 at 1:17 am #

    i am what i am
    croaked the old man
    what else could i be?
    if not me
    dragging my bones
    my powders n’ tomes
    my wand and my stones
    i groan
    i am gristle
    i’m caught in this thistle
    oh where is the sickle
    come set me free

  5. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 10 February 2008 at 1:21 am #

    so the epic continues…good-oh…
    love always…

  6. avatar
    gregra&gar | 10 February 2008 at 3:20 am #

    I must have tuned in here the instant you posted, there are only five comments ahead of me at the moment.

    Just want to offer you my humble admiration and present you with the Excellent Blog Award. Please visit my blog to copy your jpg trophy and read the presentation speech.

  7. avatar
    JJ | 10 February 2008 at 3:57 am #

    The Magpie is a most royal bird,
    black and blue as night.
    I wish that I had feathers three,
    black and blue and white.

    The Magpie is a most illustrious bird,
    dwells in a diamond tree.
    One brings sorrow and one brings joy,
    sorrow and joy for me.

  8. avatar
    melissa | 10 February 2008 at 5:02 am #

    early this morning, I saw two lovely crows on my walk to work. I was excited .. is this a good omen?

    or is that just Magpies 🙂 (which I love too)

    can’t help but think of all things magical at the moment. Even my dreams have been very strange the last couple of nights… hmmm

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 February 2008 at 5:23 am #

    melissa-the magpie is a very special bird,and omen:the magpie is one of the few beasts that mates for life…to see these two magpies,or crows{the messengers from the otherworld}is a very good omen,and tells of earthly and unearthly magic…in abundance.:-D

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 February 2008 at 8:05 am #

    Caste aside thy stones Lord Toad
    for thy are not for thee,
    thee true runes are in a bed of heather
    lay thee down and the path of light will come.

    Princess Manderina

  11. avatar
    persephone2u | 10 February 2008 at 9:19 am #

    I don’t feel quite so bad that Baudelaire is dead when I read beautiful prose like this and see that the torch is still being carried.

  12. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 10 February 2008 at 9:34 am #

    Why & whence did lovely Owl disappear? Was it the same time as you lost your potency as a sorcerer? Along with owl did you loose your; wisdom, courage & faith in your power & self?
    Here at Maiden’s weekly we get a lot of enquiries beseeching us to get the inside tapestry on what thine men wear under thine chainmail & armour….. any chance of a scoopest? And also beneath your armoury what happens to thine ‘wand’ when thine eyes fall upon a pretty maid bathing in the stream?
    Heather . Editor
    ( woopsie SK…..I’m just in such a silly mood!!& I am justloving the epic tale…)

  13. avatar
    linjo | 10 February 2008 at 10:10 am #

    You saucy little cupcake Butterfly! Were there no Knights of Bold at the yacht club tonight?

    Old Kate

  14. avatar
    eek | 10 February 2008 at 10:46 am #

    Hmm. Sounds amazingly like some of the conversations I have with the cats. I probably shouldn’t admit that.

  15. avatar
    linjo said she was going | 10 February 2008 at 11:17 am #

    fast easy and boring i’m afraid

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 February 2008 at 12:31 pm #

    no, she’ll never go. it starts again.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 February 2008 at 2:25 pm #

    Not so fast SK, are those grubs made of soy? 😉 This crow ‘n mage series is great writing! May we see a painting based on this?

  18. avatar
    davem | 10 February 2008 at 3:25 pm #

    They’re all bastards in Grimsby SK…and they stink of fish.

  19. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 11 February 2008 at 2:00 am #

    It’s 40 below zero in Chicago including the wind chill factor. Just tuned off the ghastly and no earthly value Grammy Awards. Put on “Andalusian Dogs” and “Mitternight” by Isidore. Riveting and Explosive music by the eclectic SK and Mr. Cain.

  20. avatar
    princey | 11 February 2008 at 2:58 am #

    Hi sk, did you know you’re playing at 1.15pm on 24th Feb, ye faithful will be there(stop cringing!!) It’ll be indoors I think, so no hot winds, no dust, no rain, no big blowies (ie.blowflies) and NO shades required. I’m so excited!

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 February 2008 at 3:20 am #

    i agree lingo

    i guess if i want fiction i go to the library and decide on the form.
    when i want reality i check out blogspot
    i think sk’s life experiences may read like fiction because they are crazy,
    I don’t read the carry on bloggs.
    don’t bother telling me i have tunnel vision,can’t spell,bad
    grammer etc.
    i know what i like and what moves me, and this is post a comment.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 February 2008 at 5:36 am #

    hi steve and fellow blog commentators, today’s post reminded me of the current novel i am reading- The Children of Hurin by JRR Tolkien. It is just so indescribably brilliant. The way his son has presented this work is brilliant, it doesn’t read like unfinished tales it reads like a true novel and it is fantastic-more accessible than the Silmarilian. Forive my spelling but i am in a rush. So steve thanks for putting me onto this fantastic piece of literature almost on par with LOTR.



  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 February 2008 at 10:42 am #

    The Sagely Thyme Being! 😀 x

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