posted on February 18, 2009 at 9:52 pm

killer gets up early so he can type type type
killer goes on le balc
and has an early morning jazz smoke
now here i am
giving you my all and only
my dear readers
well my plane didnt crash
it was late but it did nae crash
it was a crowded n unremarkable flight
i tried to work on my lappy
but the geeza in fronts seat came right back
n i couldnt type a word in fuckin’ edgewise
after a while i skimmed thru the qantas menu
and ended up watching a show bout these naughty bloggers in blighty
the girl with the one track mind etc
all narrated by a scottish git with one of them edinburgh accents
that made it sound so urgent and fucking important
like he was discussing nuclear weapons or climate change or somethin’
this naughty girl was doing naughty things with naughty men
and writing about it
it was quite naughty for qantas i guess
n featured very naughty naked bosoms (quite gratuitously )
and very naughty bits where the ladies read out their blogs
i said to him
ooooh i wanna @#$%$ your @#$#$&
and he said oooh i wanna $%*& yer lovely great &^&*((%
and i said oooh you aint half naughty!!
i remained unaroused in my cramped old seat
and was gladly glad when ye olde plain hit the ground
the lady picking us up had forgotten where the van was parked
we sat in the shade of a coolibah tree
and waited for her to find it
i checked in my apt
to find ricky rene maymi has snaffled the best room
we have a balc over looking the carpark….oooh nice
soon a triffid drops in with some jazzy jazz
ricky hooks up his computer thru the stereo
n soon we gotta bitta atmosphere going
we go over for dinner at a jap place
i get served freakin pork dumplings
which i understand to be tofu
i take a bite and
i spit out this foulness
this bits of dead piggy wig
i feel violated but didnt swallow any of that filth
i just fucking carry on
what can ya do?
i drink some sake
the triffids all come out n join us
mick harvey from the bad seeds etc is an interesting n funny bloke
mark snarski tells me he dont wanna sit nexta to me
cos i look too bloody healthy
“this is sposed to be rocknroll” he says
n orders some disgusting smelling sqiddley diddley
n lights up a foul cigarette
if thats fucking rocknroll
then my dick is a kipper
(as my dad used to say)
i get up n leave
me n ricky check out the venue
(ie for foreign readers the kilbster is well pleased)
its a great big lovely outdoor stage
there are sofas n stools n tables n chairs
it is well civilized
all around looms the botanic gardens
n the suave skyscrapers
and fountains n rivers n trees n affluent people
oooh i like it
like a jehovahs witnesses idea of heaven i seen in their pamphlets
i’m really looking forward to singing my songs there
then back to hotel
an early night
this email connection is costing me 25 bucks a day
so dont say i never buy ya nothing
anyway at 330 in the morning
the fire alarm goes off
ricky cant be bothered getting up
but i wander downstairs
where the whole hotel is lined up
in various states of undress n undies
i see mick harvey standing on the street
looking like an owl whod fallen out of its nest
finally were all let back in
n ricky who finally gets up
we sit there at 4 am smoking n talking on the balcony
finally i neeed to release some stress
i yell out at the bastard moon and stars
and all of sleeping perth

30 Responses to “flight to the west”

  1. avatar
    princey | 18 February 2009 at 10:37 pm #

    HaHA, you’re funny in the morn, but what’s the moon’n’stars ever done to you to deserve such abuse?!! haha, I woudl have loved to have been a fly (or annoying mozzie) on that balcony last night!!

    Thanks for blogging @ such high rates sk, maybe u do care about us then:))
    Enjoy the sunshine,
    love Amanda

  2. avatar
    Damien | 18 February 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    Hope you enjoy your stay in Perf, Steve.

    The invitation is still open. 😉

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 February 2009 at 11:11 pm #

    you are the man

  4. avatar
    steve kilbey | 18 February 2009 at 11:46 pm #

    can i bring all the triffids plus friends??

  5. avatar
    knot | 19 February 2009 at 12:00 am #

    surely you are the host of hosts
    and your sister dreamt she argued with an angel of a lesser order

    (even tho he was generous enough to instruct her in the first word)
    and knotkatknityet said


  6. avatar
    knot | 19 February 2009 at 12:02 am #

    surely you are the host of hosts
    and your sister argued on you behalf with a lesser angel for the love of you

  7. avatar
    Celticat | 19 February 2009 at 12:04 am #

    Your comments on playing with the Triffids were a welcome read in The West Australian this morning.


  8. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 19 February 2009 at 12:08 am #

    I just love you more each blog. 🙂
    How does one even mix up pork and tofu? Idiots!

    Love ya – have a great gig!

  9. avatar
    Damien | 19 February 2009 at 12:33 am #

    Now you’re just teasing me!

    I’ve just read the article in the West Australian newspaper about the Triffids gig. You seem to have become a bit of a spokeman for the whole thing!

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 February 2009 at 12:38 am #

    on a completely different subject will the last person with any good musical taste leaving england please turn out the lights…..the pet shop boys ‘win’ ‘outstanding achievement award’ at the Brits,and i can only assume the outstanding achievement part being that a shit band,who’ve done nothing of note in the last 20 yrs get an award at all!!! God! this country embarrasses me….if the tits n gits at the Brits dont have a clue,at least i will be educating folk musically every saturday night now,where The Church are on the playlist at the best club in town!!!! :-)anyway,sorry,rant over…the PSB award thing made my piss boil somewhat!….carry on…


  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 February 2009 at 1:05 am #


    Great blog – sounds like an interesting 24hours


  12. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 19 February 2009 at 1:32 am #

    Great job not ingesting that poor dead pig flesh. Your 36 year flesh-free digestive tract remains intact. You will rock with the Triffids!

  13. avatar
    Jasperina | 19 February 2009 at 2:05 am #

    Always an excited sound in your voice when your doing what you do best. The magic of the Triffids combined with your own divine musical wizadry…sublime.

  14. avatar
    melissa | 19 February 2009 at 2:09 am #

    where the whole hotel is lined up
    in various states of undress n undies
    i see mick harvey standing on the street
    looking like an owl whod fallen out of its nest

    awww! 😉

    Such a funny blog today SK, loved it! Hope you all have a great ol’ time in Perf .. betcha won’t be eating at that Japanese place again!

    Have a beautiful day!

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 February 2009 at 2:54 am #

    btw mick harvey has departed the bad seeds. replacement (at least for next tour) is ed kuepper.

  16. avatar
    Freddie | 19 February 2009 at 3:03 am #

    Ah, good.
    Glad you got there safely.
    Hope the show is as lovely as the venue.
    Knock em dead again Killer.

  17. avatar
    lily was here | 19 February 2009 at 7:32 am #

    Ahh, you just answered my question.

    I love it when it rains roses for you! Perth is bee-u-tiful up there, enjoy it all rockstar!

    Tell Ricky cat to make a move next time!! He’s got 9 lives but jeez, drag him kicking and screaming next time.

    love xoxx

  18. avatar
    persephone2u | 19 February 2009 at 8:16 am #

    Oooooh pork, blech! Last time I was in Paris I ordered in broken French the vegetarian pizza, or at least what appeared to be vegetarian pizza. One bite into it and I noticed the foul taste of chicken hidden deep under the many layers of cheese. I spat it out and told the waiter that I’d ordered pizza with no meat in it. He nodded politely and told me that there wasn’t any meat in it — just chicken! And to think all this time I didn’t know chicken was a vegetable and it took a French waiter to set me straight.

  19. avatar
    fantasticandy | 19 February 2009 at 9:08 am #

    another ‘load of waffle’…..
    yet it’s among the most entertaining tosh iv’e ever encountered.

    to a man with your staunchly held ideals the dumpling episode must have been quite horrible.
    l feel for ya man…i really do.
    glad you ‘n ricky are having an otherwise enjoyable jaunt………
    all the best,
    andy L.

  20. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 19 February 2009 at 10:20 am #

    ….not only did the moon and stars hear you, but my big brother may have very well heard your echo over there in perth…..come to think of it, you were probably smoking goodies that he grew with his very own hands….. 😉
    love always…..

  21. avatar
    veleska1970 | 19 February 2009 at 10:25 am #

    glad you got there safe and sound. i’m sure you’ll have a good show.

    lotza love…..

  22. avatar
    catchow | 19 February 2009 at 11:53 am #

    ah!Steve!what a blog!it was killingly funny from one end to
    the other!
    so pleased to see you in better form than ever!”i’m so glad “you
    had a safe flight and that you like
    this place…
    Thank you ,Steve,for giving us so
    much good time!!!

  23. avatar
    matthew | 19 February 2009 at 2:11 pm #

    ahah! Nice anecdotalness, thanks SK. Glad you had a cool time.

  24. avatar
    seoigh | 19 February 2009 at 3:00 pm #

    You don’t mind if I cash in on those 3 weeks while you’re away in Perth, do you?


  25. avatar
    haaz | 19 February 2009 at 6:54 pm #

    ahhh! had to laugh a bunch at this one

    sk, not the sort that usually makes me laugh

    (though i does loves yer music)

    the wry grin, that’s the gin

    open invitation should you an’ the boys ever venture back to the states

    there’s a vegetarian indian restaurant down on the south side of milwaukee, wisconsin

    be a trill to take ya all there!

    you see my love stacie
    “she can’t be over 21; don’t let her in,” you said last you saw ‘er

    be a thrill either way.

    much love and an inch of snow,
    jason en wisconsin

  26. avatar
    davem | 19 February 2009 at 7:43 pm #

    Hope it’s a good ‘un.
    Cheers for the blog. It made me smile!

  27. avatar
    Sandy | 19 February 2009 at 8:01 pm #

    Don’t be fooled by those Jehovas Witnesses pamphlets, SK. hehee.. the comparison totally cracked me up! Have a great gig – wish I could experience it. Looking forward to Churhc in… June? sigh… I hope yr not just teasing us.


  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 February 2009 at 9:51 pm #

    This intro like a psych-folk carroussel, guitars like plastic horses spinning round in almostslowmotion until the voice of a child breaks the empty peacefulness to sing on the verge of paradise about togetherness. Once this virtual world where all meetings are possible maybe was simply pangaea, the panacea for lost souls. Your singing is exhilarating, even more, biblical, even more, royal-pastoral, even more, merely you. This song is a blend of future and nostalgia, death and life, myth and possibility and if eyesterday your blends were poisonous, today, they’re healing. I nearly died some 20 hours ago in a deep allergic reaction to….homeopathy, go figure my silly organism completely reticent with this passage-prison. But I’m glad I’m alive to take a train in this supercontinent.

  29. avatar
    jaime r........ | 19 February 2009 at 10:11 pm #

    Rock out killah
    Pangea is amazing.. really amazing..
    take care.. jr…..

  30. avatar
    matt davison | 20 February 2009 at 12:15 am #

    Good luck out there Friends… Hi Ricky!!


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