posted on August 26, 2006 at 2:29 am

muse, am i losing it?
theres a hand on my shoulder
faces in old photographs
the cold sea knocks the breath out of me
the sand is viscous
everything trying to suck me under
nothing suckles me anymore
i have ingested 2 grams of life
i am seeing things
flowers burst forth in bloom before my
astonished eyes
music fills me with joy
a package arrives from someone i glimpsed in a film
handed on to me now
oophoi emits from my music device
i crave to thank the man who delivered me
of this space music in san francisco
im smitten
goji juice washes away my 51 year hangover
the beautiful lord vishnu preserves and protects
the happy lord ganesha smooths our way
that someone filled with so much love
could create all this just astounds me
intelligent design…?
every tiny fucking piece of sand lovingly
dreamed up by our god
who sends us miracle upon miracle
every golden day
the sun in the sky
the moon at night
the sacred rivers
the elementals
everything has spirit
nothing which has lived will ever cease living
nothing that is dead will ever live
like a loving father,
and i realise this now…
like a loving father
wincing at the pain we must endure
no way we can understand everything now
like trying to explain the precepts of surrealism
to baby bumper
no way we can dig the whole picture from here
i am in love with everybody and all things
because they are you
always the trees
the trees withold their meanings from me
how many trees have i myself been
how many times
over n over
did my soul stagger in wood
my roots deep in earth
i groaned to move
and in secret ceremonies
i did leave my bark n branches
and i frolicked with other spirits
in the arcadian night
which was warm and dreamy
when men cut down trees
what are we doing?
how can all these trees be cut down
its like cutting off your own fingers
lord if you would fill me with magic
i could stop this
how can i love the rapers and pillagers ?
i would blast them
and become as bad as them
everything seems to have an opposite effect
you push one way
you go the other
oh the arcadian evenings
the mysteries on the tip of my tongue even now
im remembering everything now
were you ever there?
how you would love me to invoke those nights
with my words
how deep you would like to go
into the arcadian night
and the lemurian nights
the jungle all around waiting
and the nineveh nights
and the atlantean night
and all the nights
and the things that occur
in the darkness
the sweet sweet warmth of the others
the rituals, the wine
yet it eludes me
as always
clouds outside in shapes of dragons
the children have a fishtank
bananas are expensive after the cyclone
eve and aurora are becoming always more beautiful
words music pictures fill my head
the “straights” are back in my life
im a hippy
i was hooked at thirteen
i had no chance
i love long hair
i love flowers
i love pot and acid
i love peace and vegetarianism
i love nature especially the wonderful trees
i love the deep mysterious ocean
i love the wide open skies
i love space rock in all its forms
i am a spirit buried in flesh
i long for the vastness of space and eternity
its 1 15 on an eternal saturday afternoon
sydney sunk in its hedonism
its bridges
its beaches
its gangs
its ugly suburbs
its beautiful leafy esplanades
its nightlife strip clubs brothels private booths
its criminals and local colourful identities
its rocknroll stars on the dole
its geniuses driving taxis
and its idiots running the big monster companies
sydney swallow me up this afternoon
we’re gonna walk down the promenade
and i need to be swallowed by you
and i want no more significance
no more extra sensory overloading stuff
i just want to walk and talk
thats all
the sky has changed
clouds appear
over and out

55 Responses to “from an occult diary 2”

  1. avatar
    eek | 26 August 2006 at 3:24 am #

    I wish I could feel what you do. But I don’t. I guess I’m going to need a few thousand more lives, cause I hate this one.

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 3:36 am #

    and in the energy waves
    time merged

  3. avatar
    syrinx | 26 August 2006 at 3:47 am #

    Better than “beeyootiful” is the emoticon (and god i resisted them for as long as I could, feeling somehow if I had to use them I wasn’t expressing myself well enough):


    and of course <3 and <3 and <3.

    Back to symbols. Backwards to go forwards.

    Another good read. Not that it all has to be roses, flowers and hearts. But when you are loving life, it is enchanting, entoxicating, and infectious. The bitter with the sweet. The depths rise up. The sky within our grasp. And somewhere on that middle ground, the heavens and earth – they meet.

    Muchas gracias.

  4. avatar
    JJ | 26 August 2006 at 3:56 am #

    I was smitten at 13 as well. Once I heard that music, I was gone, I knew those people called to me, and I absorbed their culture wholeheartedly. It defines me still.

    I like your forest descriptions, I often escape to camp among some of the most fantastic in the world, in Southern Appalatia. It’s mystical. I feel I belong when I’m there; in tune. I can’t stop the destroyers – but they want it. They want it all; corporate jockeys riding it to ruin.

    Still Friday here, Saturday to come.


  5. avatar
    veleska1970 | 26 August 2006 at 4:16 am #

    “muse, am i losing it?”

    i should say definitely not. if anything, you’re gaining by the minute.

    lotza love…..

  6. avatar
    Dig | 26 August 2006 at 4:16 am #

    Yep, I think now you are my favourite writer of all time.

  7. avatar
    Melquiades | 26 August 2006 at 4:26 am #

    log on
    log in
    tune out.

    there’s a whole bunch of things i didnt’ say
    like the time I heard my name called radomly
    or was it?

    There’s that written voice that typed to me long ago
    -well it was a whole 7 days-
    And there was that girl that looked at me like she knew

    these the triune
    they unfold
    a night light soft unto the bright
    bulbs growing into the cheese

    I’ve lost my pentameter
    my three line rhyme

    it’s all given to organia
    and free form verse
    rhyme is sequitur

    and the lonely man’s hands
    long to touch her emma
    Lost in the humidity
    lost in a jungle

    there were people at 4am
    just trying to figure
    why you’d come
    it’s a new place you’ve gone, my friend

    And I’ll change for noone
    not even my sun

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 4:29 am #

    dear sk
    going out to
    see the moon now
    with my daughters …
    laura is observing
    the moon every night
    for 28 days
    for “homework”.
    shouldn’t we all
    do that?

  9. avatar
    General Catz | 26 August 2006 at 4:42 am #

    The mysteries are always there. Each day something new, not seen before.

    Each blog, you show us something new, not seen before — by you.

    Don’t stop.

    staci grove

  10. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 26 August 2006 at 5:01 am #

    >>how many times
    over n over
    did my soul stagger in wood
    my roots deep in earth
    i groaned to move
    and in secret ceremonies
    i did leave my bark n branches
    and i frolicked with other spirits< < I am thankful no trees died for such beauty as this…how do you keep outdoing yourself? I have felt like this, but not for a while; you’ve jolted me awake from mundane existence and reminded me there is no separate-ness to any of this.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 5:22 am #

    like something that was meant to get through
    a quick glance…….a glimpse of truth
    another of life’s lessons for you
    to which you run

    in a world where nothing dies
    where spirit….soars inside
    and there’s always a reason to try

    where 1+1 is 2
    the home of you-know-who
    it must be such a strange view
    from up so high

    we finally learn to say
    our paths are one-in-the-same
    and if you haven’t learned yet……
    you’re about too

    with the mirror in our eyes
    the smoke cleared and began to rise
    and the whole world stops….and pauses….
    and looks toward the sky

    enjoy the ride steve,

  12. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 26 August 2006 at 5:44 am #

    you are a beautiful soul sk
    peace and love to you

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 6:00 am #

    I had a dream last night that Tom Waits won the New York City Marathon for his “age group” at 2hrs, 50 minutes. In the drea,he was surprised he won. He had realized early in the race he was going to clock in at close to 5 hrs at his current rate, so he upped his pace.

  14. avatar
    leelinau | 26 August 2006 at 6:10 am #


  15. avatar
    malenkybit | 26 August 2006 at 6:11 am #

    Impossible for me to react to you Steve – but then compelled to react, at least this once, to say: I exist, I want you to know it, that sometimes you don’t need to make eye contact or shake hands with someone in order to be, perhaps forever changed by that person, and that this punctuation mark in your tour, this comma stop at the Beachland Ballroom, was pause enough for you to change a life and fortify somehow, with music, with presence (?) my soul, I don’t know. Not sure how it works, but it does — it’s odd. But much love, much much love, eh. You are absolutely a reason to stay alive, brah.

  16. avatar
    On the Edge of Time | 26 August 2006 at 6:17 am #

    Her is a him
    or is it hyme?
    And he cometh –
    from the great Atlantic Abyssmo.

    Sister Katrina,
    soon to have her first anniversary,
    has dismembered all of the past precepts
    of what Atmospheric bewilderment is all about.
    400 miles inland, we members back to times past,
    and the heavily laden, apocalyptic
    clouds of Camille,
    the chilling darkness that heralded
    the end of the heat of 69.
    They forage on the oceanic heat
    and heat, right now we got plenty.
    So we waits and wonders;
    what hymns Ernesto will bring?

  17. avatar
    Cameras 4 Eyes | 26 August 2006 at 7:28 am #

    thee should have an incentive to figure out how to cut and paste computer files, so as thee won’t have to print out
    on 42 pages of precious tree
    questions put to thee

    and still not all answered

  18. avatar
    captainmission | 26 August 2006 at 7:42 am #

    mmm, yeah it’s been a strange saturday that’s for sure, a day that split into two seperate realities, one all normal and cozy where people wash their cars, walk their dog, do their shopping and drive to the suburbs in big shiney cars and another, where everything is outta whack, slightly translucent and etheric, everything seems unfamiliar, disconnected, then later in the day these two paths joined together to form something else. mmm, the blurred escapade.
    there’s only one thing to do, i’m going to make rhubarb and blueberry crumble and then i’m gonna eat it.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 7:50 am #

    It’s not my place
    to say you’re wrong
    if it makes you strong….
    carry on

    “Smoking pot enhances the pleasure of listening to music for some people. For me it enhances my pleasure in writing music and lyrics. I don’t think that’s very extraordinary. If you go down to any rehearsal room or studio you’ll probably find someone in there smoking a joint. It’s no different to having a beer, except we live in this society where the old males say you can’t have this one but you can have this one. I don’t think marijuana is good for you – it’s bad for your lungs and stuff like that, but it certainly makes creating music a more interesting process and I also enjoy listening to music in that state.”

    From an i/v with SK
    The Edge Magazine
    May 1990

  20. avatar
    ben | 26 August 2006 at 8:44 am #

    yeah yeah pass the joint already. all kidding aside walking is therepy for me{at night of course)enjoy the trip.

  21. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 26 August 2006 at 9:35 am #

    enjoy your walk me esskay, me enjoyed your talk today…

  22. avatar
    kat | 26 August 2006 at 9:43 am #

    dreams….. make it all real,

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 11:32 am #

    And you wonder why we love you so much sk…’s to die for!

    Love as always,

  24. avatar
    davem | 26 August 2006 at 11:37 am #

    Bootiful SK.
    No Turkey (or tree)died for this comment.
    Love you more,

    Dave M

  25. avatar
    calling down baal and zeus | 26 August 2006 at 11:39 am #

    its funny you should mention a fishtank.

  26. avatar
    Iris Murdoch | 26 August 2006 at 12:08 pm #

    We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 12:09 pm #

    perhaps you need to visit Ularu.

  28. avatar
    Hermann Hesse | 26 August 2006 at 12:13 pm #

    There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 1:57 pm #

    that is exactly how i feel today.


  30. avatar
    moocow | 26 August 2006 at 2:04 pm #

    Im Live In Virginia and Im going for a motorcycle ride in the blueridge mountains.

  31. avatar
    lizardlizard81 | 26 August 2006 at 2:10 pm #

    Slave to the man
    & the extra $100 bux it gets me after Uncle Sam’s share,
    I work through my Saturday
    while Steve contemplate the beauties and mysteries of the universe.

    Suddenly, I feel very small.


  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 2:18 pm #

    This is the sort of writing that should be bound and in all librarys!

  33. avatar
    Renee | 26 August 2006 at 3:11 pm #

    ya got me thinkin about some things today
    kirlian photography for one, which I think is really amazing,
    we’re so oblivious to the energy that’s flowing through us, around us and everything that’s living
    I read or heard that energy cannot be destroyed, only converted (I think it’s a physics law), so when we die our energy continues on somwhere, right? I think energy and spirit are one in the same. To me, God has no physical form or name, meaning the eternal doesn’t look like an old bearded man or have any gender, but is the purest, most positive energy, that we return to when our physical body passes. I think of deceased people I’ve looked at, and they’re always like empty shells lying there, whatever it was that made them that unique person is gone, but where did they go? I don’t know, kinda hard to discuss like this!
    I do know sometimes my energy gets so intense (blocked, not flowing) that I’ll put my hands on a table or something and I can feel the energy just pulsing through my hands and into the table, I feel a tremendous relief after that. I remember being in a prayer circle with a Seminole Indian medicine man, I just happened to be next to him and held his hand, I could feel the energy moving between us, I was totally floored when he looked at me with a sideways glance and said, “you have interesting energy” and I said “yeah, I know” he said he could feel the ebbing and flowing of energy between us, which he said was unusual, I couldn’t believe that he had experienced it too, that I wasn’t just imagining it.

    I was also thinking about a book a friend turned me onto many years ago, “the Secret Life of Plants” by Peter Tompkins, a guy decided to hook up plants to a galvanometer and was surprised by the results, I thought it was an interesting book, since I’m an avid gardner, I guess it proves talking to your plants IS beneficial!!

    Anybody who has had similar experiences will know what I’m talkin about, and for those who haven’t I’m sure will be critical, but there is so much more to us, if only people knew

  34. avatar
    mike a | 26 August 2006 at 3:20 pm #

    that was sort of breathtaking!!!

  35. avatar
    John Garratt | 26 August 2006 at 4:50 pm #




  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 5:05 pm #

    Have a day Killer..salud..
    I heard a tree
    cry in its sleep
    I reality I hold
    but for me its hard to keep

    jaimito r…

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 6:01 pm #

    hey moocow,
    i just went for a long bike-ride here on the north carolina side of the blue ridge mtns.


  38. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 26 August 2006 at 6:04 pm #

    Renee –
    re: Energy. You are correct. Almost every form of energy can be changed into other forms in a similar way. Whenever one form of energy changes into another, the total amount of energy remains the same. No energy has been created or destroyed.

    One of nature’s basic laws: the conservation of energy, i.e. energy can neither be created or destroyed only changed in form. So if we harbour energy….???? Where does it go? Does it go??? Don’t want to turn this into a big discussion…just thinking out loud on Steven’s blogge for uno momento…

    So anyway, that’s the scientific explanation. I always like to think of myself as a hopeful, spiritually seeking agnostic…hahaha…although I do feel we are all connected to each other and the universe.

    with love and energy,
    denise (who passed her idiotic Federally-mandated math and science exams !yay! and who actually seems to be able to find beauty and some kind of higher power in science of all things…as well as spirituality!)
    xxoo 🙂

  39. avatar
    Renee | 26 August 2006 at 7:08 pm #

    Thanks Denise, I knew it went something like that!!

    I don’t know, I think science kinda confirms a higher power
    think of all the life that exists that we can’t see, microscopic shit, the smallest organisms, all this life taking place that we don’t see, but still exists
    just because we don’t see something, does it mean it’s not there?

    I also think about the patterns that science has revealed like atoms: electrons circle the nucleus, doesn’t the solar system work the same way, the planets circling the fixed sun? What about the universe itself? (I’m not a science major, so please don’t be throwin a bunch of scientific shit out at me people!) but, I think science just raises more questions sometimes

    Congratulations on passing your tests!!!!!

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 9:16 pm #

    the light
    I see the light
    the only constant in this universe
    God is neither positive or negative
    it is……..
    to assume an intention is to walk hand in hand with maya
    it is good when you are good and then forget yourself..
    and then it doesnt matter
    but it cant be destroyed so someone or something, ultimately you
    may feel the grace of your function or positive productivity
    the light is bliss
    the superconsciousness that extends beyond the ever present suffering
    and the orgasmic ever fleeting happiness..
    the equation for your soul
    so how do you solve for y
    higher or inner is the ???
    where do you point the compass
    how do you make Soul Power….
    very calmly with power and grace
    o shakti o raja o jnana o karma o bhakti


  41. avatar
    stealthblue | 26 August 2006 at 9:21 pm #

    Another splendid read from our fine fellow. Awesome…Feel like I’m right there with you, SK. (Except that I didn’t ingest two grams of life! Ah, but what I wouldn’t give to do this as well!) I love that you love all of those things you mentioned. The way you describe Sydney makes me want to be there even more, as she has long been beckoning me. Even if it is for a short while, I will have to walk on the continent of Australia before my days on Earth have ended, at least in this body anyway. There are so many beautiful places on Earth, including some truly amazing cities erupting from the splendor of nature…with all kinds of creatures, including us human “beans.” Why can’t all of these beans love peace and beauty, and exude positive energy and good will? Is it too much to ask of all tribes, being that we all share a core of recycled energies? Why do so many have evil, black hearts and blind minds and lost souls?

    You’re not “losing it”, you’re just in tune, even more so than others. Most of us are indeed on a good path. There’s just so much to figure out though. Some people just don’t get it, or see beyond the screen of this “reality” of “dog eat dog” mentality and pure greed and back-stabbing corruption. Well, if we must live among these cruel ones, I hope that those of us who feel “up-lifted” can roll together for all of our days.

    BTW: Denise, Congrats! Veleska, you’re an angel. DJK, Tony P., Coach, Renee, and all the rest of you POSITIVE commentors, you’re the best. Thank you, SK, for… everything.
    Peace to all…
    Ben V.

  42. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 August 2006 at 9:35 pm #

    to all that row the boat merrily merrily
    I hope you enjoy this…sk and all fellow fiends..
    I love y’all
    an excert from Autobiography of a yogi
    by Parmahansa Yogananda.

    The great novelist Leo Tolstoy wrote a delightful story, THE THREE HERMITS. His friend Nicholas Roerich {FN30-1} has summarized the tale, as follows:
    “On an island there lived three old hermits. They were so simple that the only prayer they used was: ‘We are three; Thou art Three-have mercy on us!’ Great miracles were manifested during this naive prayer.
    “The local bishop {FN30-2} came to hear about the three hermits and their inadmissible prayer, and decided to visit them in order to teach them the canonical invocations. He arrived on the island, told the hermits that their heavenly petition was undignified, and taught them many of the customary prayers. The bishop then left on a boat. He saw, following the ship, a radiant light. As it approached, he discerned the three hermits, who were holding hands and running upon the waves in an effort to overtake the vessel.
    “‘We have forgotten the prayers you taught us,’ they cried as they reached the bishop, ‘and have hastened to ask you to repeat them.’ The awed bishop shook his head.
    “‘Dear ones,’ he replied humbly, ‘continue to live with your old prayer!'”
    How did the three saints walk on the water?
    How did Christ resurrect his crucified body?
    How did Lahiri Mahasaya and Sri Yukteswar perform their miracles?
    Modern science has, as yet, no answer; though with the advent of the atomic bomb and the wonders of radar, the scope of the world-mind has been abruptly enlarged. The word “impossible” is becoming less prominent in the scientific vocabulary.

    The ancient Vedic scriptures declare that the physical world operates under one fundamental law of MAYA, the principle of relativity and duality. God, the Sole Life, is an Absolute Unity; He cannot appear as the separate and diverse manifestations of a creation except under a false or unreal veil. That cosmic illusion is MAYA. Every great scientific discovery of modern times has served as a confirmation of this simple pronouncement of the rishis.
    Newton’s Law of Motion is a law of MAYA: “To every action there is always an equal and contrary reaction; the mutual actions of any two bodies are always equal and oppositely directed.” Action and reaction are thus exactly equal. “To have a single force is impossible. There must be, and always is, a pair of forces equal and opposite.”
    Fundamental natural activities all betray their mayic origin. Electricity, for example, is a phenomenon of repulsion and attraction; its electrons and protons are electrical opposites. Another example: the atom or final particle of matter is, like the earth itself, a magnet with positive and negative poles. The entire phenomenal world is under the inexorable sway of polarity; no law of physics, chemistry, or any other science is ever found free from inherent opposite or contrasted principles.

    Physical science, then, cannot formulate laws outside of MAYA, the very texture and structure of creation. Nature herself is MAYA; natural science must perforce deal with her ineluctable quiddity. In her own domain, she is eternal and inexhaustible; future scientists can do no more than probe one aspect after another of her varied infinitude. Science thus remains in a perpetual flux, unable to reach finality; fit indeed to formulate the laws of an already existing and functioning cosmos, but powerless to detect the Law Framer and Sole Operator. The majestic manifestations of gravitation and electricity have become known, but what gravitation and electricity are, no mortal knoweth. To surmount MAYA was the task assigned to the human race by the millennial prophets. To rise above the duality of creation and perceive the unity of the Creator was conceived of as man’s highest goal. Those who cling to the cosmic illusion must accept its essential law of polarity: flow and ebb, rise and fall, day and night, pleasure and pain, good and evil, birth and death. This cyclic pattern assumes a certain anguishing monotony, after man has gone through a few thousand human births; he begins to cast a hopeful eye beyond the compulsions of MAYA.
    To tear the veil of MAYA is to pierce the secret of creation. The yogi who thus denudes the universe is the only true monotheist. All others are worshiping heathen images. So long as man remains subject to the dualistic delusions of nature, the Janus-faced MAYA is his goddess; he cannot know the one true God.

    The world illusion, MAYA, is individually called AVIDYA, literally, “not-knowledge,” ignorance, delusion. MAYA or AVIDYA can never be destroyed through intellectual conviction or analysis, but solely through attaining the interior state of NIRBIKALPA SAMADHI. The Old Testament prophets, and seers of all lands and ages, spoke from that state of consciousness. Ezekiel says (43:1-2): “Afterwards he brought me to the gate, even the gate that looketh toward the east: and, behold, the glory of the God of Israel came from the way of the east: and his voice was like a noise of many waters: and the earth shined with his glory.” Through the divine eye in the forehead (east), the yogi sails his consciousness into omnipresence, hearing the Word or Aum, divine sound of many waters or vibrations which is the sole reality of creation.

    Among the trillion mysteries of the cosmos, the most phenomenal is light. Unlike sound-waves, whose transmission requires air or other material media, light-waves pass freely through the vacuum of interstellar space. Even the hypothetical ether, held as the interplanetary medium of light in the undulatory theory, can be discarded on the Einsteinian grounds that the geometrical properties of space render the theory of ether unnecessary. Under either hypothesis, light remains the most subtle, the freest from material dependence, of any natural manifestation.
    In the gigantic conceptions of Einstein, the velocity of light-186,000 miles per second-dominates the whole Theory of Relativity. He proves mathematically that the velocity of light is, so far as man’s finite mind is concerned, the only CONSTANT in a universe of unstayable flux. On the sole absolute of light-velocity depend all human standards of time and space. Not abstractly eternal as hitherto considered, time and space are relative and finite factors, deriving their measurement validity only in reference to the yardstick of light-velocity. In joining space as a dimensional relativity, time has surrendered age-old claims to a changeless value. Time is now stripped to its rightful nature-a simple essence of ambiguity! With a few equational strokes of his pen, Einstein has banished from the cosmos every fixed reality except that of light.

    In a later development, his Unified Field Theory, the great physicist embodies in one mathematical formula the laws of gravitation and of electromagnetism. Reducing the cosmical structure to variations on a single law, Einstein {FN30-4} reaches across the ages to the rishis who proclaimed a sole texture of creation-that of a protean MAYA.
    On the epochal Theory of Relativity have arisen the mathematical possibilities of exploring the ultimate atom. Great scientists are now boldly asserting not only that the atom is energy rather than matter, but that atomic energy is essentially mind-stuff or chitta.

    “The frank realization that physical science is concerned with a world of shadows is one of the most significant advances,” Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington writes in THE NATURE OF THE PHYSICAL WORLD. “In the world of physics we watch a shadowgraph performance of the drama of familiar life. The shadow of my elbow rests on the shadow table as the shadow ink flows over the shadow paper. It is all symbolic, and as a symbol the physicist leaves it. Then comes the alchemist Mind who transmutes the symbols. . . . To put the conclusion crudely, the stuff of the world is mind-stuff. . . . The realistic matter and fields of force of former physical theory are altogether irrelevant except in so far as the mind-stuff has itself spun these imaginings. . . . The external world has thus become a world of shadows. In removing our illusions we have removed the substance, for indeed we have seen that substance is one of the greatest of our illusions.”

    With the recent discovery of the electron microscope came definite proof of the light-essence of atoms and of the inescapable duality of nature. THE NEW YORK TIMES gave the following report of a 1937 demonstration of the electron microscope before a meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science:
    “The crystalline structure of tungsten, hitherto known only indirectly by means of X-rays, stood outlined boldly on a fluorescent screen, showing nine atoms in their correct positions in the space lattice, a cube, with one atom in each corner and one in the center. The atoms in the crystal lattice of the tungsten appeared on the fluorescent screen as points of light, arranged in geometric pattern. Against this crystal cube of light the bombarding molecules of air could be observed as dancing points of light, similar to points of sunlight shimmering on moving waters. . . .
    “The principle of the electron microscope was first discovered in 1927 by Drs. Clinton J. Davisson and Lester H. Germer of the Bell Telephone Laboratories, New York City, who found that the electron had a dual personality partaking of the characteristic of both a particle and a wave. The wave quality gave the electron the characteristic of light, and a search was begun to devise means for ‘focusing’ electrons in a manner similar to the focusing of light by means of a lens.
    “For his discovery of the Jekyll-Hyde quality of the electron, which corroborated the prediction made in 1924 by De Broglie, French Nobel Prize winning physicist, and showed that the entire realm of physical nature had a dual personality, Dr. Davisson also received the Nobel Prize in physics.”
    “The stream of knowledge,” Sir James Jeans writes in THE MYSTERIOUS UNIVERSE, “is heading towards a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine.” Twentieth-century science is thus sounding like a page from the hoary VEDAS.

    From science, then, if it must be so, let man learn the philosophic truth that there is no material universe; its warp and woof is MAYA, illusion. Its mirages of reality all break down under analysis. As one by one the reassuring props of a physical cosmos crash beneath him, man dimly perceives his idolatrous reliance, his past transgression of the divine command: “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.”
    In his famous equation outlining the equivalence of mass and energy, Einstein proved that the energy in any particle of matter is equal to its mass or weight multiplied by the square of the velocity of light. The release of the atomic energies is brought about through the annihilation of the material particles. The “death” of matter has been the “birth” of an Atomic Age.

    Light-velocity is a mathematical standard or constant not because there is an absolute value in 186,000 miles a second, but because no material body, whose mass increases with its velocity, can ever attain the velocity of light. Stated another way: only a material body whose mass is infinite could equal the velocity of light.
    The masters who are able to materialize and dematerialize their bodies or any other object, and to move with the velocity of light, and to utilize the creative light-rays in bringing into instant visibility any physical manifestation, have fulfilled the necessary Einsteinian condition: their mass is infinite.
    The consciousness of a perfected yogi is effortlessly identified, not with a narrow body, but with the universal structure. Gravitation, whether the “force” of Newton or the Einsteinian “manifestation of inertia,” is powerless to COMPEL a master to exhibit the property of “weight” which is the distinguishing gravitational condition of all material objects. He who knows himself as the omnipresent Spirit is subject no longer to the rigidities of a body in time and space. Their imprisoning “rings-pass-not” have yielded to the solvent: “I am He.”
    “Fiat lux! And there was light.” God’s first command to His ordered creation (GENESIS 1:3) brought into being the only atomic reality: light. On the beams of this immaterial medium occur all divine manifestations. Devotees of every age testify to the appearance of God as flame and light. “The King of kings, and Lord of lords; who only hath immortality, dwelling in the light which no man can approach unto.”

    A yogi who through perfect meditation has merged his consciousness with the Creator perceives the cosmical essence as light; to him there is no difference between the light rays composing water and the light rays composing land. Free from matter-consciousness, free from the three dimensions of space and the fourth dimension of time, a master transfers his body of light with equal ease over the light rays of earth, water, fire, or air. Long concentration on the liberating spiritual eye has enabled the yogi to destroy all delusions concerning matter and its gravitational weight; thenceforth he sees the universe as an essentially undifferentiated mass of light.

    “Optical images,” Dr. L. T. Troland of Harvard tells us, “are built up on the same principle as the ordinary ‘half-tone’ engravings; that is, they are made up of minute dottings or stripplings far too small to be detected by the eye. . . . The sensitiveness of the retina is so great that a visual sensation can be produced by relatively few Quanta of the right kind of light.” Through a master’s divine knowledge of light phenomena, he can instantly project into perceptible manifestation the ubiquitous light atoms. The actual form of the projection-whether it be a tree, a medicine, a human body-is in conformance with a yogi’s powers of will and of visualization.

    In man’s dream-consciousness, where he has loosened in sleep his clutch on the egoistic limitations that daily hem him round, the omnipotence of his mind has a nightly demonstration. Lo! there in the dream stand the long-dead friends, the remotest continents, the resurrected scenes of his childhood. With that free and unconditioned consciousness, known to all men in the phenomena of dreams, the God-tuned master has forged a never-severed link. Innocent of all personal motives, and employing the creative will bestowed on him by the Creator, a yogi rearranges the light atoms of the universe to satisfy any sincere prayer of a devotee. For this purpose were man and creation made: that he should rise up as master of MAYA, knowing his dominion over the cosmos.

    “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.” {FN30-6}
    In 1915, shortly after I had entered the Swami Order, I witnessed a vision of violent contrasts. In it the relativity of human consciousness was vividly established; I clearly perceived the unity of the Eternal Light behind the painful dualities of MAYA. The vision descended on me as I sat one morning in my little attic room in Father’s Gurpar Road home. For months World War I had been raging in Europe; I reflected sadly on the vast toll of death.
    As I closed my eyes in meditation, my consciousness was suddenly transferred to the body of a captain in command of a battleship. The thunder of guns split the air as shots were exchanged between shore batteries and the ship’s cannons. A huge shell hit the powder magazine and tore my ship asunder. I jumped into the water, together with the few sailors who had survived the explosion.
    Heart pounding, I reached the shore safely. But alas! a stray bullet ended its furious flight in my chest. I fell groaning to the ground. My whole body was paralyzed, yet I was aware of possessing it as one is conscious of a leg gone to sleep.
    “At last the mysterious footstep of Death has caught up with me,” I thought. With a final sigh, I was about to sink into unconsciousness when lo! I found myself seated in the lotus posture in my Gurpar Road room.
    Hysterical tears poured forth as I joyfully stroked and pinched my regained possession-a body free from any bullet hole in the breast. I rocked to and fro, inhaling and exhaling to assure myself that I was alive. Amidst these self-congratulations, again I found my consciousness transferred to the captain’s dead body by the gory shore. Utter confusion of mind came upon me.
    “Lord,” I prayed, “am I dead or alive?”
    A dazzling play of light filled the whole horizon. A soft rumbling vibration formed itself into words:
    “What has life or death to do with Light? In the image of My Light I have made you. The relativities of life and death belong to the cosmic dream. Behold your dreamless being! Awake, my child, awake!”

    As steps in man’s awakening, the Lord inspires scientists to discover, at the right time and place, the secrets of His creation. Many modern discoveries help men to apprehend the cosmos as a varied expression of one power-light, guided by divine intelligence. The wonders of the motion picture, of radio, of television, of radar, of the photo-electric cell-the all-seeing “electric eye,” of atomic energies, are all based on the electromagnetic phenomenon of light.
    The motion picture art can portray any miracle. From the impressive visual standpoint, no marvel is barred to trick photography. A man’s transparent astral body can be seen rising from his gross physical form, he can walk on the water, resurrect the dead, reverse the natural sequence of developments, and play havoc with time and space. Assembling the light images as he pleases, the photographer achieves optical wonders which a true master produces with actual light rays.
    The lifelike images of the motion picture illustrate many truths concerning creation. The Cosmic Director has written His own plays, and assembled the tremendous casts for the pageant of the centuries. From the dark booth of eternity, He pours His creative beam through the films of successive ages, and the pictures are thrown on the screen of space. Just as the motion-picture images appear to be real, but are only combinations of light and shade, so is the universal variety a delusive seeming. The planetary spheres, with their countless forms of life, are naught but figures in a cosmic motion picture, temporarily true to five sense perceptions as the scenes are cast on the screen of man’s consciousness by the infinite creative beam.
    A cinema audience can look up and see that all screen images are appearing through the instrumentality of one imageless beam of light. The colorful universal drama is similarly issuing from the single white light of a Cosmic Source. With inconceivable ingenuity God is staging an entertainment for His human children, making them actors as well as audience in His planetary theater.
    One day I entered a motion picture house to view a newsreel of the European battlefields. World War I was still being waged in the West; the newsreel recorded the carnage with such realism that I left the theater with a troubled heart.

    “Lord,” I prayed, “why dost Thou permit such suffering?”
    To my intense surprise, an instant answer came in the form of a vision of the actual European battlefields. The horror of the struggle, filled with the dead and dying, far surpassed in ferocity any representation of the newsreel.
    “Look intently!” A gentle voice spoke to my inner consciousness. “You will see that these scenes now being enacted in France are nothing but a play of chiaroscuro. They are the cosmic motion picture, as real and as unreal as the theater newsreel you have just seen-a play within a play.”
    My heart was still not comforted. The divine voice went on: “Creation is light and shadow both, else no picture is possible. The good and evil of MAYA must ever alternate in supremacy. If joy were ceaseless here in this world, would man ever seek another? Without suffering he scarcely cares to recall that he has forsaken his eternal home. Pain is a prod to remembrance. The way of escape is through wisdom! The tragedy of death is unreal; those who shudder at it are like an ignorant actor who dies of fright on the stage when nothing more is fired at him than a blank cartridge. My sons are the children of light; they will not sleep forever in delusion.”
    Although I had read scriptural accounts of MAYA, they had not given me the deep insight that came with the personal visions and their accompanying words of consolation. One’s values are profoundly changed when he is finally convinced that creation is only a vast motion picture, and that not in it, but beyond it, lies his own reality.
    As I finished writing this chapter, I sat on my bed in the lotus posture. My room was dimly lit by two shaded lamps. Lifting my gaze, I noticed that the ceiling was dotted with small mustard-colored lights, scintillating and quivering with a radiumlike luster. Myriads of pencilled rays, like sheets of rain, gathered into a transparent shaft and poured silently upon me.
    At once my physical body lost its grossness and became metamorphosed into astral texture. I felt a floating sensation as, barely touching the bed, the weightless body shifted slightly and alternately to left and right. I looked around the room; the furniture and walls were as usual, but the little mass of light had so multiplied that the ceiling was invisible. I was wonder-struck.
    “This is the cosmic motion picture mechanism.” A voice spoke as though from within the light. “Shedding its beam on the white screen of your bed sheets, it is producing the picture of your body. Behold, your form is nothing but light!”
    I gazed at my arms and moved them back and forth, yet could not feel their weight. An ecstatic joy overwhelmed me. This cosmic stem of light, blossoming as my body, seemed a divine replica of the light beams streaming out of the projection booth in a cinema house and manifesting as pictures on the screen.

    For a long time I experienced this motion picture of my body in the dimly lighted theater of my own bedroom. Despite the many visions I have had, none was ever more singular. As my illusion of a solid body was completely dissipated, and my realization deepened that the essence of all objects is light, I looked up to the throbbing stream of lifetrons and spoke entreatingly.
    “Divine Light, please withdraw this, my humble bodily picture, into Thyself, even as Elijah was drawn up to heaven by a flame.”
    This prayer was evidently startling; the beam disappeared. My body resumed its normal weight and sank on the bed; the swarm of dazzling ceiling lights flickered and vanished. My time to leave this earth had apparently not arrived.


    jaimito r.

  43. avatar
    eek | 26 August 2006 at 10:04 pm #

    john garratt, must be an ohio thing. 😉

    Denise — Congrats on passing those fucking tests!!!

  44. avatar
    Melquiades | 26 August 2006 at 10:29 pm #

    wait can’t you see it
    lying out there
    vacuum of space
    Infinte hollow caving in on it’s own credibility
    Stars are prime candidates
    for its voracious appetite

    Can’t you see it lying there
    spread out amogst the galaxies
    lying laughing and most spaced out roaringly guffaw
    then whispering just to its own ugliness and horrid approach
    how exciting it must be to live as one of their kind

    to interact
    to love
    to hate
    to look out upon that great sea
    a sea I launched from my imaginary world
    to hold hands with children
    feel their gentle innocent grip
    all the while the sea foam chases our feet
    dashing our traces we were ever here

    Oh i live like the fingertips of your frame
    extended and somewhat vicarious

    this is the most one can expect here.

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 August 2006 at 12:22 am #

    You told yourself to grow up
    its nicer that you don’t

  46. avatar
    Melquiades | 27 August 2006 at 1:51 am #

    i love you Steve.

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 August 2006 at 3:13 am #

    watch carefully
    the mind
    as it
    us and them
    sage and idiot
    the hippy and the straight

    these are our fortresses

    our places of identification
    our security

    see them for what they are…



    the mystic and the fool
    the fistic and the mule
    the pissedtic and the tool

    so you long for perfection?

    life IS perfect
    perfectly amok
    a perfect consequence
    of perfect disconnection

    can you look at the dying bird
    without recognition
    “dying bird”

    can you look at the smoking hippy
    without the tag

    can look at the crooked straight
    without the label

    try looking at the world
    through sensory perception

    recognise the concepts
    that barricade

    how can you avoid
    falling into a
    you are not aware it is there
    right before you think

    there are no enlightened beings

    just enlightened activity

    let go
    of your need
    to be


  48. avatar
    kurtez | 27 August 2006 at 3:43 am #

    no, you are not losing it (although, you know, you will never find it). I continue to be amazed by your blogs. I continue to be amazed by your thoughts. I continue to be amazed by your songs. I continue to be amazed- and thankful- for your words of advice, explanations (without explaining), your tales of experience and how you marvel at the “ordinary”. It’s strange; I feel I have lived and am living exactly what you describe. I guess it’s possible (no, I now know it is.) It feels like I’m reading my diary and autobiography all at the same time. I feel it but require someone else to put it into words …Wait, what’s that in the background? “Song To Go”. Time to go put another CD on…Church or SK of course, it’s 8:25 PM, the sun is setting, a China Shipping Line freighter, fully loaded, is coasting into shore (carrying appliances, vehicles, cheap consumer goods, opium, and assorted refugees), I’m peering out into the best view in the world (slowly being eroded away by glass towers inching ever towards the sun) at green, almost black, mountainsides, where I grew up but can no longer afford to live, the traffic below me is coming alive, a tower crane (must be 40 storeys up) has gone to sleep for the night, floating gas stations brighten the harbour, lights blink across the way, I hear a bus or two, green & red lights take turns controlling the pedestrians, and I think about the time ten years ago when I skipped out on a good friend’s wedding to attend the Church’s last concert here, and it was the best concert I’ve ever seen. Like you, it transcended.

  49. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 27 August 2006 at 6:24 am #

    I love Goji berries

  50. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 27 August 2006 at 7:05 am #

    In my dream last night I was with my loving mother again … oh that warmth I so miss.

  51. avatar
    syrinx | 27 August 2006 at 7:27 am #

    Hi jaimito. I read that a few times, then decided I had to learn how to cut and paste from a comment window. As usual I was making it more complicated an operation than it needed to be.

    The cutting and pasting lesson will turn out to be the easy part. @__@

    Thank you for aiming the arrow.

  52. avatar
    AnJaka | 28 August 2006 at 6:02 am #

    Hi steve, You can sign up Party Pokerwith CODE: RB2006 to get bounus :20% upto $100. regard

  53. avatar
    Larry | 28 August 2006 at 2:00 pm #

    Little kids have a pretty good innate grasp of the surreal, I find.

  54. avatar
    Gareth,Notts | 28 August 2006 at 10:35 pm #

    i read somewhere,not sure if its what renees referring to,that some researchers/scientists hooked up a plant to some machine or other,and poured boiling water onto the leaves.something registered on the machine.then as they were preparing to do it again just the mention of doing the same thing to this plant made the needles on the machine go into a frenzy!!!!

  55. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 September 2006 at 6:17 am #

    testing testing 1, 2, 3

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