posted on May 12, 2008 at 9:36 pm

hail to my subscribers!
oh well met!
oh well come!
the generous ones
without any reward
putting hands in pocket
making the effort
helping me out of impecunious clutches
being my patrons
sponsoring this old big cat
from behind my bars of flesh
from within ,this caged creature
paces up n down
thoughts ceaselessly traverse my mixed up mind
i read a story drowning in colours
my brain photographs sounds automatically
i peruse the lists of embarrassments i have been involved in
i churn my perceived enemies names in my minds oceans
i disdain the offered social condolences of those who read my words
those so shallow that cannot grok this slightest bit of honesty
why come to me if you want sunshine every day
has that ever been my strong suit?
bah! you fools
dont peer into my cage looking for ice cream sundae
old and contained i may be but in my heart i am wild
i know the darknesses of our zoological sequences
i bite any hand that comes thru my bars
much to my regret
allow me to roar and pace and whimper
allow my to lick my wounds
allow me to refuse this black water
if you need to laugh
there yonder lie the monkeys aplenty
parrots squawk in the distance
i believe they feed the “straights” everyday between 12 and 1
i believe you can buy a bag of stuff n feed the baby pigs
i believe the snakes can be quite scary
me….i run through my thoughts
i write music and i plot revenge
i remain silent for hours then i explode
my eyes will bore straight through you
i see your soul and i see your ambition
your platitudes fall on my deaf ears
your advices remain unsniffed
you look out for me
but i am in the back of my cage
wheres its black and hot
twitching in some fevered dream
you could never know
i descend down chasms where words give no light
i climb mountains up into pure lit vistas where i see everything
i dream of the circus and its flaming hoops
and i snarl
they whipped me and i clawed at their brandished chairs
i made every mistake, no doubt
let me seethe then if that be my humour
let me be in my smouldering huff
let me growl in my solitude
seek not to admonish me for my ill moods
i who allow this honesty between us
ever seeking the truth of ye olde rat race
giving you thus ever insight
you stand before my bars
you who have paid your money
you
a day
the zoo
electronic friends fiends patrons and voyeurs
i bid thee
fond adieu

37 Responses to “from the panthers desk”

  1. avatar
    knot | 12 May 2008 at 10:33 pm #

    why ohio?

  2. avatar
    knot | 12 May 2008 at 10:35 pm #

    also,
    can one be a patron or patroness without that devil paypal?
    i had an argument with paypal once
    i do hold a grudge

  3. avatar
    eek | 12 May 2008 at 11:11 pm #

    why ohio?

    Cause Ohio’s within a one day drive of approx half the US and Canadian population so it’s fairly centrally located. But mostly it’s because I live here and I can get the space and I’m willing and capable of doing it.

    That’s why Ohio. 🙂

  4. avatar
    knot | 12 May 2008 at 11:45 pm #

    ahhh, eek.

    very sad for us out here in the land of the setting sun

  5. avatar
    princey | 13 May 2008 at 12:10 am #

    I’ve got a cage out the back that would fit a moody mangy panther purrrfectly! I better get my donation ready, I’ll send it really soon sk to say thanks for all your words, moods and music you share with us every day.
    Love from an electronic fiend,
    Amanda

  6. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 13 May 2008 at 12:54 am #

    Dear Steve Kilbey:

    You have John Lennon’s vocal and lyrical talents. You have George Harrison’s spiritual mystique. You have MACCA’s multi-instrumental skills. You have made over 20 magnificent albums. You merit millions.

    YOU HAVE BEEN FUCKED LIKE VAN GOGH ! You have every right to harbor animosity and frustration because you have been royally screwed. The fact that you have endured and even musically improved is amazing. Richard X Heyman a New York power pop phenom has had a similar experience. It’s a very fallen world we live-in. Humanity’s insane-you Know that. People eating bonobos, apes,monkeys, whales, dogs, cats, bovines, hippos, horses, bison, pigs, chickens, ducks, myriad fish species and lambs. Your a sane, benevolent man in an insane, malevolent world rife with too many humans who are evil incarnate.

  7. avatar
    Melby Symon | 13 May 2008 at 2:15 am #

    SK…I don’t think I’ve seen you purport to be anything in particular to anyone in particular on the “good ship TTB blog”. You are who you are…and that surely is what this whole interaction is all about.

  8. avatar
    CSTCoach | 13 May 2008 at 2:25 am #

    LOL – nicely phrased.

    This was an especially great line, methinks: “i descend down chasms where words give no light”

    Is the past tense of methinks methunked?

    More filthy lucre in the form of my next subscription coming your way soon as i dig myself out of current post-ireland hole (thanks very much for that arthur guinness…)

    Forever a patron of the black arts.

    I like my rock post-renaissance, with fucking pantaloons!

  9. avatar
    lian | 13 May 2008 at 3:01 am #

    oh dear…

  10. avatar
    chrome3d | 13 May 2008 at 3:17 am #

    Bites and roars are good, but it´s nice to have a sundae every once in a while.

  11. avatar
    Lebrinho | 13 May 2008 at 6:16 am #

    Polydora ! You got to read Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935), you’d love his stuff.

    “The Tobacco shop”, under pseudonym Alvaro de Campos
    http://sozluk.sourtimes.org/show.asp?t=tobacco+shop

    The Book of Disquiet:
    http://books.google.com/books?id=PbxzuKOzEJcC&printsec=frontcover&dq=Pessoa+Disquiet&sig=kfJKVUuqhS5QAd9XsqHf6F6yEQ0#PPA152,M1

    “The world is for those born to conquer it,
    not for those who dream they can conquer it,
    even if they’re right.
    i’ve done more in dreams than napoleon.
    i’ve held more humanities against my hypothetical breast than christ.
    i’ve secretly invented philosophies such as kant never wrote.
    but i am, and perhaps will always be, the man in the garret,
    even though i don’t live in one.

    i’ll always be “the one who wasn’t born for that;”
    i’ll always be merely “the one who had qualities;”
    i’ll always be the one who waited for a door to open in a wall without doors”

    “In the same way invokers of spirits invoke spirits,
    i invoke my own self and find nothing.”.

  12. avatar
    linjo | 13 May 2008 at 6:30 am #

    A wild beast in tight undies! You gotta love the boy. Betta up me WSPA payments to contribute to the preservation of such a unique species. Lotsa love xxxxxxxx

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 May 2008 at 7:10 am #

    somebody said
    that its all
    for you

  14. avatar
    fantasticandy | 13 May 2008 at 7:26 am #

    killer…give yourself a day off sometime?

    eekie…did you get my postal addy?
    i’m having a few connection woes..

    love to ya all,
    andy L.

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 May 2008 at 7:28 am #

    steve I just checked out bondi beach from sattelite what’s that huge round building w all the tents outside I can see tuns of people on the beach its as I imagined sea and rocks looked up the coast at some of the houses along the rocky green sea in china b4 I’m travellin all over tonight 1st time I can see people .so many ! auful about china hard to find people there 10k killed s0hoolkids crushed f

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 May 2008 at 7:31 am #

    -braine

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 May 2008 at 8:08 am #

    newz flash-an elderly woman in the UK has just been told by the courts to take her knitting patterns for her DrWho knitted figures, off her website,as it infringes copyright…haha!wot???;-/ ;D. . . .x what a world!? haha!

  18. avatar
    eek | 13 May 2008 at 8:52 am #

    I always figure life consists of both darkness and light so only those willing to explore both get life’s full experience. You seem very able to do both so you are most likely getting the whole experience. I do think it’s harder and more uncomfortable to explore the darker part of ourselves, so it’s often quashed and people try to be all lightness and happy. And it’s so much easier to share others good and happy times than their uncertain, unhappy or painful times. I’m honoured you are willing to share the pretty damned broad spectrum of you with us. But it can be uncomfortable — especially for us who are essentially voyeurs.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    AndyL — I just sent you an email.

  19. avatar
    veleska1970 | 13 May 2008 at 9:07 am #

    “i who allow this honesty between us”
    i appreciate your honesty, steve. always have, as much as i would from anyone. and eek said it well just now.

    have a good evening, steve.

    lotza love……

  20. avatar
    cita | 13 May 2008 at 9:40 am #

    I liked reading your descriptions of your most recent artworks. You sound excited about the images you have created. I think it is wonderful to find alternative mediums to explore beyond your own There is no doubt you got ‘something’ happenning in those works.I read your artist’s statement awhile ago and wondered why you hadn’t explored the technical side of drawing in your play with pastels and gouache.I can sense you have discovered alot in just playing and experimenting with materials. My own creative pursuits are in the visual arts. I wonder how you would enjoy attending a life dawing class hanging out with all the other bohemians, struggling with composition, foreshortening and the subtleties of light on skin. There is something to be said for the creative process when it is shared with like minded souls.Isn’t that the notion of the band jamming a greater cosmic force sparks the divine. Anyway that is one reason I love attending my life drawing class.

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 May 2008 at 11:27 am #

    Oh! What a stunning diatribe I punched out on this keyboard not 30 mins ago. Where the fuck is it? Sucked up into space never to be seen again. What the fuck did I say? What wisdom did I impart? For all the good it would have done…who cares?

    Can I summarize….? Or does that forever mark me as a ‘straight’ ‘cos i like to be efficient? Once again….who cares?

    Basically, I said I would send money if I had it but in lieu of that I send a good feeling and a hopeful thought through to you, old fella, between these lines. I would take the existential burden from you if I could…but then what would that do to your art?

    I love and cherish the written word and through this medium a varied and eclectic quorum has formed….even though I would not know Dave M, Isolde or dear Sue from Hermidale if I walked past them in the street. I cannot put a value to this in terms of impact and importance and I would suggest that many feel the same.

    All I can say is that where ever you are going SK, I would like to be alongside you via this blog and I’ll contribute when I can (hate paypal and my last cash subscription vanished so the means is yet to be determined).

    Be good and take care fellow travelers.

    Au revoir,

    B.Bon

  22. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 13 May 2008 at 11:47 am #

    you animal, you…no wonder nk married you…ggggrrrrr….
    love always…

  23. avatar
    lian | 13 May 2008 at 11:50 am #

    … once i was biten by mily-my little dog, when i was at high school. My finger was bleeding, but i didnt even shout at her. I thought it was not her fault; I teased her.

    I really sympathize these little creature: they have children but they cant name their baby; little puppies have parents, but most of them cant even live together with them, although they absolutely have the right to.

    But I sometimes sympathize some people more than these little puppies, if they are not behaving like a human being. or simply “straight”.

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 May 2008 at 12:14 pm #

    i’ll have what she’s having

  25. avatar
    Lebrinho | 13 May 2008 at 12:23 pm #

    Sometimes rabbits dance in casseroles with wine bottles in paw..

  26. avatar
    lian | 13 May 2008 at 12:49 pm #

    see? the “straight”? this is much better. sometimes the nuts who are ridng a horse would imagine they are napoleon.

  27. avatar
    lian | 13 May 2008 at 12:50 pm #

    or, the short men

  28. avatar
    lian | 13 May 2008 at 1:03 pm #

    oops… sorry! I must have a bad eyesight.

  29. avatar
    Lebrinho | 13 May 2008 at 1:33 pm #

    Chapman: Well here at Luton it’s a three-cornered contest between, from left to right, Alan Jones (Sensible Party), Tarquin Fin-tim-lim-bim-lim-bin- bim-bin-bim bus stop F’tang F’tang Olé Biscuitbarrel (Silly Party), and Kevin Phillips Bong, who is running on the Slightly Silly ticket. And here’s the result.

    Woman: Alan Jones…

    Cleese: Sensible

    Woman: …9,112. Kevin Phillips Bong…

    Cleese: Slightly Silly

    Woman: Nought. Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim bus stop F’tang F’tang Olé Biscuitbarrel…

    Cleese: Silly

    Woman: 12,441. (applause)

  30. avatar
    lian | 13 May 2008 at 1:53 pm #

    hahahahaha~ I enjoyed it; and i’ll shut up now. (I said i have got a bad eyesight. sigh.)

    today’s theme: a dance party in zoo.

    very sorry for disturbing, SK.

  31. avatar
    golden thorn in my paw | 13 May 2008 at 3:24 pm #

    your not to be troden on, your honesty is more than appriciated. but if you leave your guard down, sometimes even we the wee fan boys, the voyeurs, the free loaders, the skint, the bored, and the devoted, take the piss.

    I was not intending to cause you pain. you desrve better you do this thing every day. I read it most days. I love it. that was a teency bit sychophantic, but don’t let our reactions throw you off the track.

    one human to another

  32. avatar
    A.M. Polydora | 13 May 2008 at 3:58 pm #

    Anyone who knows me knows I do go on about “honesty.” But, it’s true, I really believe honesty is all we have that is worthwhile to give; i.e., our honest selves.

    Anything less, for me at least, means I’m wasting space on this earth. I mean, really, do I have anything else to give? Anything else I can claim is actually mine to give but me, my authentic self? I dunno, maybe I do, but I sure haven’t found it yet if there is!

    So I appreciate your honesty, sk, and that ain’t no bull! And that ain’t sucking up or kissing your fanny pack. It’s just the truth. Albeit, my truth of course.

  33. avatar
    davem | 13 May 2008 at 5:56 pm #

    Ahh, it’s great to see B.Bon bbbbbback.
    Glad some fiends have come forth with their purses as recognition for all that you do. I will be joining them on the 21st.
    Much love to you SK and to all folks here on TTB.
    xx

  34. avatar
    Andreas | 13 May 2008 at 6:32 pm #

    Hi Steve,
    I finally got your Live DVD – just loving it. Cheers from Italy

    Andreas
    Genoa /Italy

  35. avatar
    John | 13 May 2008 at 7:22 pm #

    Steve,

    Although Yellow Springs is not a very far drive from me, the date of your first reception may overlap with the date of my firstborn. Perhaps I can make the other one…with the little one.

    John Garratt

  36. avatar
    John | 13 May 2008 at 7:23 pm #

    I’m sorry, ARRIVAL date of my firstborn. There, that’s better.

    John Garratt

  37. avatar
    princey | 13 May 2008 at 10:54 pm #

    Hey sk, nice new photo on your Myspace page “Beauty & The Bass”, I miss seeing that plank of wood strapped on, come back to Melby soon will ya! I bought that album Powder Burns the other day, I see what you mean, it grows and grows with each listen, I like it a lot!
    love AP


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