posted on June 26, 2011 at 4:11 am

st steven supermartyr

i hate fucking cigarettes

i detest and loathe and fucking abhor the fucking things

these fucking cigarettes are some fucked up fucking shit, right…?

what the fucking fuck???????

filthy stinking stupid idiot things that do nothing

at least fucking alcohol does something even if its horrible

oh yeah sorry cigarettes do do something

they fucking kill ya

heres the deal imagine this

13 bucks for twenty little putrid sticks

that stink out inside and outside in

dirty mucky ashy smelly foul foolish fucking useless things

for a hundred bucks a week habit you can develop a disgusting disease

you wont get any visions or dreams or loss of inhibitions

you wont get any drowsiness or euphoria or blurred eyesight

you wont hallucinate or overdose or trip or get loaded or pissed

or high or down or out there or stimulated or anything

what do you get?

fucking nothing

i keep using the word fucking

so as to emphasise to an nth degree the total imbecility of cigarettes

no one can defend them there is not one good thing you can say

“oh it gives me something to do with my hands”
yeah…so you gonna trade your fucking lungs for that..?

i mean before smoking who ever fucking said that…

gives me something to do with my hands…

do you think cavemen sat around

wishing that their hands had  something to do…?

do you think aristotle fucking wondered what he could do with his hands

as if his hands were restless and demanding “something to do”

what a fucking joke a killing joke it is

what about “it calms my nerves”

try fucking having throat cancer n see how calm your nerves are

a total criminal absurdity

a wicked cosmic joke so incredibly blatant we almost ignore it

for the last forty years since we kinda “found out” about smoking

we have ignored the vicious pernicious fuckwit grip of this killer

its just totally stupid

and it goes against the grain of intelligent western thought

one day it will have to go just like fucking bullfighting

in fact they are both totally idiotic things

no there is no beauty or inexplicable enigma to em

both of em are death

a negation of life

fuck you kilbey you take drugs you say

fuck you kilbey you are an ex cigarette smoker yourself hypocrite

or as one alcoholic cretin recently re-marked to me

when informed that i did not take kindly to booze in MY house

he said : you sound like the reformed whore in church, steve

and there you go some little axiom to justify yer unhealthy habits

so when kilbey says fuck dont smoke cigarettes

you say fuck you kilbey you took fuckin’ heroin, BABY!!!

yes i did but that doesnt help your tongue cancer

yes kilbey is a hypocrite

but surely its better to be the fucking reformed whore in church

(ha ha)

than the unreformed whore getting fucked by some horrible brute up the back lane

or what?

are you following my fucking logic this is not rocket surgery!

it kills you

it does nothing but feed itself

no that is not just a metaphor

maybe i know nothing about anything

but i fucking understand addiction

my friends whom i implore DO NOT SMOKE

i was addicted to smack for ten years

it gave me a lot of time to consider the mechanisms of addiction

yes i consider myself an expert like a thief is expert in thieving

i am not proud of my knowledge or how i obtained it

but is knowledge nonetheless

i tell my friends look there is some kinda spirit at work in this

an opium spirit

a tobacco spirit

a wine spirit

a vodka spirit

a marijuana spirit

yes metaphorically

yes on certain levels

levels you may not understand unless

you get someone like me

someone who examines thought as a living

i write words and the words come to me

and i have observed how these words arrive

i see where the words come from

and until i tangled with heroin i didnt understand

humanity is in some apparent symbiosis with many things

with animals with plants with environments

the fruit contains the seed so some creature  eats it

walks around

and excretes it somewhere else

the fruit tree cannot get its seed over there by itself

the tree makes the apple so human will eat it and help it propagate

the human benefits from the apple and grows loadsa trees

this is as our symbiotic relationship with tobacco

fuck are you telling me humanity

is not in some sorta symbiotic relationship with tobacco….?

tell me this :

if tobacco had no use to man would it still be around after millions of years?

it had to figure out something didnt it?

i mean every fucking thing that gets through each century

has to have something going for it, right?

otherwise you fade away

you gotta have strength or speed or endurance or adaptability

in the plant world i guess things must die out too

they have the problem of no mobility and they need to get about

usefulness to another species is a big fucking plus i’d say

ok so theres this substance and its usefulness is to man

only this fucking symbiotic relationship is now a hoax

i reckon the native americans for example used tobacco “correctly” :

yeah on special occasions  they would smoke a large quantity at once

eg dig this

a junky in stockholm once told me that hed tried every fucking drug

i said what was the weirdest scariest fucking trip man

he said tobacco

i said what do you mean…tobacco…?

but this swedish junky had once visited new guinea

and smoked tobacco with the natives

big deal i said

no man he said

this fresh tobacco in this great big pipe

its like smoking a hundred cigarettes at once

he said it fucking knocked ya right out of this world

you know i could kinda imagine it

like when you start smoking and you get your first nicotine rush

its fucking horrendous

like dizzying  nauseous breathless kick in the guts

imagine that feeling times 100

thats the correct dose i guess

one huge fucking blast occasionally

the native cultures dont puff on fucking cigs all day n night

they use it with a certain ceremonial feel that almost prevents abuse

the men would gather and i guess have their ceremony

i dont fucking know say some stuff

to give this smoking some context or holiness or tradition

i dont know do i……

ok you smoke this great big pipe

with the circumference of a small cannon

and one can only imagine

BANG! youve gone from 0 to 1000 in one tenth of a second

the swedish junky convinced me of his weird tobacco epiphany

yes i do believe there is something out there to be observed

and normally i am the first idiot wanting to see what it is

every fucking substance got its own dimension

heroin dimension is warm and sleepy ….at first….

the cocaine dimension is exhilaration

whatever i guess angel dust has its own dimension

datura has  got a dimension and its hideous

tobacco definitely has a dimension but i dont wanna go there

it may even be a useful dimension

i dont know

i have never really read an interview with a sioux

talking about his tobacco experience

one assumes it had some big pluses

but um white man is not using tobacco in this way

i smoked a million cigs and not one tiny revelation

like ingesting a tiny bit of some drug

never getting the real effect but just constantly under the surface

the trouble is not so much with the substance tobacco and its effects

the trouble is the means by which we fucking get it into our systems

the way it comes in

not what it does

the native users smoke it occasionally not constantly

not with all the additives and all the fucking other shit

i bet the native users dont suffer all the chronic smoking bullshit we got

we’re smoking this stuff

we’re getting no revelations

we’ve fucked it and modified it

like how we made cocaine from coca leaf

they say the cats in south america who chew the coca leaf are cool

at least cooler than the raving egotistical cocaine addict in the west

not all people react to cocaine like that

drugs are like alcohol

people react   in a whole gamut of ways

going from total negative disinterest to crazed apostle-like mania

but by fucking with the coca-leaf the west did its usual dumb thing

some of the active ingredients were extracted from a melange of molecules

the west considered some parts of the coca leaf unnecessary

maybe they thought it inert or something

other bits are souped up with a chemical process

the mode of transmission is changed perverted

now its superfast  superstrong but supernasty too

it wasnt sposed to be

youve fucked with something far deeper than you can understand

something had already figured out how it was supposed to work

god or the plant itself or something else …nature if you like

it doesnt want to kill its host

tobacco doesnt want to kill its host

no drug does…enslave them yes but not to harm them too much

the 2 sides of a symbiotic relationship need the other to stay in good shape

the sucker fish on sharks

the shark says get rid of my irritating parasites and you can hang onto me

the sucker says cool i’ll get to work right away

he knows the shark aint gonna hurt him cos they gotta good deal

but either god or evolution or some other force… nature for example…

has somehow sorted it out and theres a real mesh of interconnectedness

and that is how it works for mutual benefit

the size and shape of both the fish for example

if a human redesigned one of the fish  if it were possible

you can be sure it would go wrong maybe in some hideous unseen way

thats what happened with tobacco and the west

we are not using it we are abusing it

it wasnt supposed to be like this

we are creatures for all our intelligence

we are subject to the material rules of our reality

tobacco smoke

esp in cigarettes and the 20 a day smoking of them fucks you bad

hang on

smoking tobacco constantly kills people yet we tolerate it?

somehow our symbiosis is outta whack

cos our partner is dealing us death

if it was anything else killing us so unnecessarily as this

people would be going fucking beserk that it was banned and hard to obtain

but we have accepted it

its hard to stop now it is so thoroughly rooted in our lives

but my fascination is actually with the tobacco spirit in dialogue with us

now a kinda perverted fucked up spirit urging you to smoke

even tho its taking out people left right n centre

young women especially dying faster sooner nastier

big multiplier /good odds on an early death

fuck that spirit of tobacco is selling you some trip aint it?

more tomorrow

 

 

 

71 Responses to “fucking cigarettes #1”

  1. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 26 June 2011 at 5:51 am #

    I don’t smoke but I despise the anti-smoking police. Cigarettes do have an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety effect on users. Girls use them to lose weight too. Slaughtehouses, factory farms and commercial fishing are much more serious issues. If people want to self-destruct-let them. But we have NO right to kill our fellow sentient creatures to placate our palates with their dead flesh.

    • avatar
      david | 27 June 2011 at 11:59 am #

      “Girls use them to lose weight too”….go on please do …or stop .probably stop ..youre losing credibility…makes me wanna go smoke a trout.

  2. avatar
    Ess | 26 June 2011 at 9:09 am #

    gave up more than 10 years ago
    and do hate it, hate how much i paid for it, hated the dependency, hate what it does to our bodies, hate the dirty smell, hate that people still deny its destruction
    but most people still smoking now are those trapped in the addiction
    those who can’t find their way out
    it had its rituals like any habit, it had fire, it had heat
    it was a cultural image to attain, an afterglow from making love, a promise of a better me
    i believed the lies and like any addiction it was only to be for just now
    and it was medicating for all those anxieties
    it was something always with me when there was nothing
    when the pain came a cigarette was first on the scene
    and it stuck around and I trusted while all the time it was plotting my demise
    addictions fill the cracks between body and spirit
    they block the door to the emptiness and keep the wolves at bay
    they keep us from facing our descent but they hasten our downfall
    they are the derangement of rituals for growth
    they lure us with promises of transcendence but leave us further entangled in our projections
    they offer false archetypes, false deities, false hope
    they are a defence against the world
    they promise love forever but give us only one night stands
    they promise the fast track when the long one has the treasure
    they support us in loathing our embodiment, they support our inner split
    they support a rejection of earthly life
    they are the derangement of necessary solitude
    they keep us from the signs that will heal
    and they promise symbiosis to calm our deepest darkest fears
    just come with me and it will all be alright, they cry
    when the world is fucking you over i will take you back to womb and you wont have to struggle no more
    but i will have to defend the whores
    women need their inner whore and maybe men do too!

  3. avatar
    shoffy | 26 June 2011 at 9:39 am #

    Steve, one of your best.

  4. avatar
    Peter RJG | 26 June 2011 at 9:47 am #

    As an ex-smoker, I heartily endorse this polemic.

  5. avatar
    Cath | 26 June 2011 at 10:12 am #

    WEll Said Steve.
    Those that know know, beyond all the righteous dogma, experince is the treasure; that wealth that men beg steal and borrow for.
    Civilization is a hungry beast devouring its self slowly!
    Reformed smoker no 2. I am lucky i stopped i realised it was ‘to sing or not to sing!’ I’d rather my voice.
    Ciao Cath

  6. avatar
    eekie | 26 June 2011 at 10:49 am #

    My grandmother worked in a factory when she was young and she started smoking to get a break. The factory was housed in and old wooden building — very much a fire trap — and smokers were allowed several breaks a day to go outside and smoke. Non smokers didn’t get those breaks. At least they weren’t making all their non smoking co workers breathe their smoke. It would be ludicrous for anyone to start smoking merely to get a work break with all the dangers we know about smoking now, but this was back in the late 1920s or possibly early 1930s — a very different time.

    I tried them when I was young, hated the feeling, haven’t smoked any since. I’m certainly not perfect (not by a long shot), but smoking isn’t one of my vices. Before most places in my area went smoke free I used to come home after seeing gigs at clubs and all my clothes, my hair and even my skin would reek from the smoke. But the thing that stuck with me the most was when I would remove my contact lenses they had a film on them and would stink of cigarette smoke. How fucking disgusting.

    “tobacco doesnt want to kill its host”

    Very possible that humans were never supposed to be tobacco’s host. Were never intended to use it at all. Billions of organisms out there…not everything is for our direct use. Perhaps all the bad effects of tobacco on humans is it’s way of saying “get your mangy hands off me, you stinking brute!”

  7. avatar
    Richard | 26 June 2011 at 11:00 am #

    (from one reformed whore to another)

    the big problem with cigs
    unlike nearly any other drug I can think of
    is that people do not have their first cigarette to experience the hit
    they do it for all sorts of other reasons
    because it’s naughty
    because it’s what the cool people are doing
    because their parents do it
    and if they do it enough (which isn’t much)
    they cross over to that awful dependence
    where the only reason to smoke is to avoid the discomfort of not smoking
    and that’s such an overwhelming reason
    that getting off that foul pernicious drip can seem almost impossible

    my mum always referred to smoking as ‘a filthy dirty habit’
    hard to argue with that
    (though it didn’t stop me)

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 26 June 2011 at 2:38 pm #

      Tried my first ciggie,amongst other things,out of curiosity.Thankfully I never became addicted and was just a short phase. Ex smokers are probably far more anti-smoking than anyone.Hindsight is a great perspective!

  8. avatar
    eekie | 26 June 2011 at 11:02 am #

    Love today’s pic — you look a bit like an angel of doom. A really pissed off angel of doom….

  9. avatar
    Galamor the Wizard | 26 June 2011 at 11:36 am #

    Smoking killed my mother. She died of a cerebral hemorrhage when I was 3 and as a consequence, I have no memory of her. My fathers next partner also died from smoking – first lung and then brain cancer. I hate the stuff too.

    You should call the next solo Kilbey album “Reformed Whore”!

    When is the next Isidore album out or have there been “artistic differences”?

  10. avatar
    Donna | 26 June 2011 at 11:36 am #

    Really, really good post. I can imagine that you’ll get a lot of responses on this one! First, let me say, I got such a laugh out of that picture!! Hilarious!! Love the “hands” part, too.

    I, too, have been thinking a lot about the mechanics of addiction – but with regards to refined sugar, not alcohol or cigarettes. When I lived in Paris, I smoked cigarettes because all my friends there smoked (it was kind of like one of the “food groups” there, like wine or baguettes). At 19, you don’t really think too much…you have your whole life in front of you. I never bought my own, though, because I knew I would probably spend the rest of my life trying to quit.

    Refined sugar is another powerful addiction – one that I struggle with – and I agree with you that there seems to be a negative spirit at work, giving the addict no rest until he/she has abused the substance, as well as his/her body. And then all the negative emotions that follow – feelings of guilt and powerlessness, shame, regret, etc. Like the substances you refer to,cocaine and tobacco, sugar cane, corn, etc have been horrendously tampered with and the end result is a fatter, sicker, addicted society. There are a thousand diets out there, but none will work as long as sugar is the system.

    I think one of the hardest things to overcome, psychologically, is accepting the fact that in order to beat your addiction, you will have to stay away from the substance in all of its forms FOREVER, and most of us cannot imagine a life without that thing that we love/hate.

    As for the reformed whore in church – isn’t that what it’s all about? I mean, people learn from their negative experiences and pain and they try to keep others from going down that same path? It’s an act of love, not judgment, and it’s not as if you’re not practicing what you preach. Just some thoughts.

    Again, good post. Hope you’re having a lovely day! Love, Donna

  11. avatar
    hellbound heart | 26 June 2011 at 11:52 am #

    preaching to the converted, man
    wouldn’t touch cancer sticks with a 40-foot pole
    love always…….

  12. avatar
    Sundancer | 26 June 2011 at 11:59 am #

    Ten years tobacco free – best thing I ever did, not only for me, but for my family.

  13. avatar
    Lara | 26 June 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    Since when is fucking imbecilic? 😉

  14. avatar
    CouldBeAnyone | 26 June 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Smoking = Asthma trigger #2 (#1 being running which I actually like). At least people are beginning to regulate it so I can eat in restaurants or see bands without becoming ill.

  15. avatar
    Ess | 26 June 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    he wanted me inside his dream but I knew he would fall from his grace
    let’s taste some ignorant bliss instead i said, let’s play with our flesh awhile and satiate demons with desire
    let’s feed our love addiction, let’s ignore our common afflictions
    but down we went
    where shadows evaporated in shawls of ivory powder
    through corridors of supermarket light
    where dragons sat cross legged and slayers were all in a muddle
    the groovy bits he claimed to own were nowhere to be seen
    just monotony held rooms intact while commoners worked on the decor
    but after three or four hours we hit upon a centre and as we opened the very last door
    it was worse than all our fears displaced
    as his cheeks paled to bleakest morn his shame bled over side burns
    and his eyes froze like fireflies
    his core was cleaned so vacantly without a skerrick of dust or dna
    and i wished not to see what i had tried not to believe
    everything about us was designed around that empty room
    and i had tried to work the edges but too often i had slipped
    and lost days and years of my own earthy mess
    and i pulled him up not long enough for grapes to turn to wine
    and he can only now be traced to the doors he has since darkened
    and the choices he made and the withered mind he reframes
    his wallet now full of moolah by the millions but the price was more of the less, i hear
    while I work to bring my spirit home he knows his task is futile
    many said he sold his soul but we both know it was already gone
    his face now invisible to me and we will never meet again
    but if you want to know his inner intent or why you may not meet him straight
    just lie with him as he dreams tonight

  16. avatar
    Tracey | 26 June 2011 at 1:43 pm #

    thanks st steven just what I needed to hear and perfect timing for me as I struggle with releasing this nasty, hurtful habit. I know it’s shit and I stopped for 2 years and felt great and yet…no! I am stopping – now!

  17. avatar
    Ess | 26 June 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    last one… can’t help myself today when i should be writing other things… must be an addictive subject

    i am your whore
    i am your honest inspiratrice
    i am the one who holds as you’re going down
    i am the line to your libido
    when i tell you what i want you need to guide me to what we need
    you fear me because you cannot possess me
    you fear me because i spill your dirty secrets
    you despise me when i show you your lack of restraint
    you trample the sacred prostitute
    you reform so you feel sanitised to be reborn
    but without me you will be sterile
    without me you will be puerile
    without me you can’t be man or woman or anything of higher order
    without me you would never have been laid or found room to play
    if you ignore me you will take us into the thinnest of air
    if you ignore me you will always be floating
    you will always feel insulted
    you will take us into breathy despair
    you won’t know the blessings of the scorned
    you won’t know your own grounded name
    addiction stakes its claim between the virgin and the whore
    feeding off the shadow of one then the other in all that space you keep stretching in between
    ravaging the raped
    raping the ravaged
    if you play favourites with one the other will be diseased
    and if you don’t bring us together dream and reality will never meet

  18. avatar
    Karen | 26 June 2011 at 4:32 pm #

    Just “liked” this on yr fb page ..agree wholefuckingheartedly ..& I just gave up 4 months ago :O ( now one of those refomred smokers I used to hate)….
    I took it up at 26 after having my kids ( I smoked dope but never cigs.. till then ..so at least i was never smoking & preggers..) then gave up smoking dope..and smoked cigs for just over 20 years.. how stupid was that? & taking it up in my mid 20s how retarded..

    I finally saw the light…& gave up ..well not like i didnt know what it was doing to me..just took me a while to decide I didnt want to die early..that & my daughter saying I dont want to be sitting at your bedside when your dying of cancer..and my sister saying if you get cancer Im not going to visit you in hospital…ect ect…in the end it was @* the money # b thinking about my own mortality .. probs as i was now middle aged..& c my family..
    we are all going to die of something eventually..but lung cancer & emphysema are a horrible way to go..

    btw soo many people have commented on my skin looking so much better & your skin reflects the condition of your lungs soo Im hoping my lungs are in better shape..
    anwayssss hope i havent left it too late!!

  19. avatar
    Benson & Hedges | 26 June 2011 at 4:35 pm #

    The secret to a really fine tobacco is a fertile soil and plenty of sun.

    Tobacco was traditionally home grown and used to unwind at the end of a hard day.

    Nowadays it often blended with cannabis.

  20. avatar
    davem | 26 June 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    Amen St Steven.
    Killed my Mother – she was only 55.
    I too smoked 20/25 a day until 6 years ago. I do miss it at times, which shows how addictive and fucked up they are.

  21. avatar
    Melissa | 26 June 2011 at 7:36 pm #

    thankyou, thankyou Steve!!!

    Starting cigarette smoking was the absolute stupidiest, knuckle-headed thing I ever did …. but STOPPING smoking almost 3 years ago now was the absolute most BRILLIANT, most intelligent thing I’ve ever done (apart from becoming a church fan at 14/15 y.o in high school, haha!)

    Even now, I still have moments of thanks god I stopped smoking, I am so happy!!!

    Cigarettes are the biggest con-job in modern history… and it is the biggest bullshit-ery that it is difficult to stop. I absolutely implore anyone who wants to stop to please, please please read one of Alan Carr’s books THE EASY WAY to Stop Smoking…. I thank my lucky stars I discovered this absolute gem.

    I was at my wits-end, suffering from severe anxiety and panic attacks when I decide enough was enough, I had to stop. Every since I stopped smoking, I have never had one more panic attack. It is an absolute fallacy that smoking aids relaxation… infact it is the worse thing for stress.

    good luck to anyone who wants to quit and gives up this garbage forever

    xxxxx

  22. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen | 26 June 2011 at 7:58 pm #

    Never smoked, never will. Always thought of cigarettes as mental crutches.

  23. avatar
    Daniel W. | 26 June 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    Well done, Steve – very thought provoking. You made excellent points and did a good job putting it all into perspective.

  24. avatar
    Cocoamo | 26 June 2011 at 10:38 pm #

    Great blog and great comments too. Once again, we so admire your courage in admonishing the act of smoking? As Donna said, it is an act of love, not judgement, but smokers will most likely perceive it as judgemental and critical, and certainly a threat. You once mentioned your older daughters smoking, and perhaps that was an inspiration for this particular rant?

    There is always a risk involved in this sort of criticism–does it make people (such as your daughters) just dig in their heels and become more resolute in their habit? If they quit, do they see this as an act of submission – to be avoided at all costs, cutting off the nose to spite the face?

    We had guests in Florida for two weeks, so had front row seats to what they ate. The closest thing to a vegetable was ketchup on the french fries, which were present at every meal except breakfast (then they were home fries). These people are in poor health, but see no relationship between their health and their diet. And we are not allowed to comment.

    Ultimately, we agree with Brien though. These people also feel no guilt for the suffering, death, and environmental destruction they are causing by choosing meat for every meal. Live by the sword, die by the sword (in this case the sword killing them is plaquing up their veins, etc). Same deal though – by killing animals they are killing themselves.

    You have railed against that issue also, so this is of course another story for another day, and getting off point.

    We do applaud you for your thoughful and courageous stand here. It appears you have inspired some to quit smoking – so see, you have done some good! We feel lily livered for not speaking up.

    Speaking as an ex-smoker ourselves, we know Acupuncture has been very effective for some. It is easy to start smoking after quitting, but after two unsuccessful tries (6-month duration!) success was achieved. So, never quit quitting!

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania

  25. avatar
    . | 26 June 2011 at 11:08 pm #

    some try it out of ignorance
    others do it simply to look cool
    a few taste it with pure innocence
    while some are deceived and play the fool
    some got on its’ path just to break the house rules
    while others followed after mom or dad, maybe one or two
    some mimic their flat screen worlds while they dream by the pool
    while puffer bellies love to push their habit and bitterness on the youth
    some don’t give a damn and welcome their speedy death with pessimistic views
    and beautiful ones do it to stay thin, my, how they haven’t a bloody clue!
    so many reasons, but, don’t do it, it doesn’t define you
    it was and never is the right step in your evolution
    and that ain’t speculation, neither, that’s the truth

  26. avatar
    Georgia | 26 June 2011 at 11:51 pm #

    Steven,

    I share your disdain for cigarettes. Although I loved both of my parents, I was especially close to my incredible, sensitive and intelligent father. Despite my asthmatic grandfather BEGGING my father to never start, my dad started to smoke at the age of 14. I think that the fact that his own grandfather, my great grandpa, the infamous chainsmoker, lived to be over 100, did not bring the fear of an early death to his mind.

    Every morning, it became a battle with my parents: my dad smoking and reading the paper and mom opening all of the windows in the house. LIving in Minnesota meant that odds were that we were Fafafreezing. 🙂 I got migraines and dealt with asthma…but still he smoked in the car.

    My dad worked in the restaurant business, which meant that cigarettes were a mainstay in the dining room, in meetings and in the break room. Later, I found out that my dad was the heaviest smoker of them all. He rarely performed without one in his hand.

    As we grew up, we wondered about dad’s longevity. My mom was a pretty stressful person to live with, and perhaps the cigs calmed him down and actually HELPED his overall mortality.

    HIs brother BEGGED him to quit smoking. They had friends who died of lung cancer…young young men.

    When I was old enough to work, I saw that those who smoked got a lot of extra breaks and a lot of extra socializing and other work promotions. Then I realized that smoking was an easy form of yoga-it was used to relax and breathe. The act of smoking was not really what was calming people-it was the deep inhaling.

    As I hated all of the conflict, I rarely complained about dad’s smoking. From a young age, I had dealt with several bouts of serious pneumonia from a young age, I still said nothing. Then one day, It all changed. I had pre-ovarian cancer and my doctor lectured me about my smoking. When I told her I didn’t smoke, she looked at me skeptically and I told her that I was still living with my folks and that my father smoked a bit. (cough cough) It was then that dad started to just smoke in one room and I avoided him there. As I loved music, I also avoided opening bands at clubs and restaurants. Soon, I was happily in the clear with my health.

    It was around this time that dad quit. I don’t know if it was my own health or his that scared him. And he quit cold turkey.

    Although he was naturally happy, he got pretty cranky. And he told me that he often had apparitions. I have heard that quitting smoking is tougher than Heroin, but I would not want to be in the position to find out. It took him a couple of years himself in a good place…but he did it.

    The sad thing is that the cancer seed took hold and a few years later, he was diagnosed and then he died of lung cancer. Truly, a horrible death.

    The day after he died, his beloved dog, Blizzard, was diagnosed with lung cancer. “What?” you ask. My response is second hand smoke.

    She died 40 days later…and then we got Angel. !!!

    3 years after dad died, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. This was a shocker. She was always slim, ate no meat, ate organic and healthy, exercised etc…and here she was. But she lived with a smoker. Only my neighbor had the guts to say what we thought. What we don’t want to think of…..how much damage living with a heavy smoker took on all of us.

    So..I tell my friends, who have kids, that if they want to break their children’s hearts or if they want to hurt their family, keep lighting up.

    I didn’t say anything to dad in the day…but I so wish I sat him down and insisted.

    You did everyone a service with this blog Steven. I hope this gives people the incentive to quit.
    xo

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 27 June 2011 at 12:32 am #

      my father was murdered by cigarettes age 52
      what a useless waste for nothing
      thanks georgia
      this is some serious warning

      • avatar
        Mallory Weiss | 17 September 2011 at 1:57 pm #

        my father was murdered by cigarettes age almost 51 but 2 weeks short
        the only death I’ve witnessed –will never forget the blood on the snowbank — he’s been a chain smoker since his teens…
        Then ten years later in the opposite corner of the world
        it happened again — someone I loved dearly age 47 — he gave me a hug and said I’ll miss you and I thought WTF I’ll be back in a week but he musta felt it near — same kind of death profuse bleeding from the throat — I came back the day after he died — I’ll never forgive these two murders
        And now — one of the finest musicians in all of San Diego — Pall — tried to quit 2 years ago on Wellbutrin — failed — back at it — he’s only 40 but I have to admit I’m fucking scared

  27. avatar
    rol1967 | 27 June 2011 at 12:18 am #

    well said, steve. Never smoked myself, but did see firsthand, the effects of over 40 years of smoking as i watched my stepfather die a slow death from lung cancer. It quite depressing and a you have a feeling of helplessness as there is nothing you can do. Fucking cancer sticks ruin too many lives, not just the ones using them.

  28. avatar
    veleska1970 | 27 June 2011 at 1:13 am #

    i’ve never tried a cigarette and have absolutely NO desire to. i grew up in a household where everybody smoked~my parents and my two older brothers~and growing up i thought it was a totally disgusting way to live.

    Although my mom quit about 15 years ago, she developed emphysema and COPD and possibly lung cancer, but she died early 2008 from a stroke. most likely caused by the many years of smoking, i’m sure. She had absolutely no energy or could barely take a breath in her later years before she passed. A short walk was such an effort for her. My dad, on the other hand, smoked right up until he died in 2002. Heart attack. I’m sure that was also from smoking for so many years.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2011 at 1:26 am #

    reading through the comments… alcohol, cigs, sugar, and other drugs and things like “lacyalate” and hormones and antibiotics (sp?) that is now put into everything, breads, cookies, etc. even store bought juices – everything! that stuff I can’t spell is cow waste that the beef industry should be paying to dump as toxic waste, instead (to save/make money) they sell it cheap along with other waste products to other food industries as a replacement for natural ingredients that used to be used such as vinegar, etc. (and “gelatin” instead of pectin, etc.) — it’s corporate profit and the fuzzy/sunny marketing that ruins lives. you have to sometimes think those ad geniuses are evil evil evil… but they’re also political political political, which makes you see everything advertised as cool/yummy/etc., instead as propoganda propoganda propoganda (hope I spelled that one correctly too each time) and become sad to see what it does to lives, human and animals. And 18 percent of the toxins in the environment come from (in the US at least) the 10s of billions of livestock slaughtered each year for consumption — that’s a lot of beef; I think we could do with less.

    I have some friends at a university out here that a few years ago did a study (and then filmed… a very powerful example of their findings — the gov slapped an injunction on it; it’s never been seen publicly and now sits in a can, locked away with the rest of their studies…) Autos: specifically studied were gas guzzling SUVs — the average SUV emits 100 times the exact same toxins and even further poisons into our world for every five minutes of idle time as does one lit cig; which was their thesis — how because of big biz and the power it has, this is never brought up to the public. Their studies included actual asthma, cancer, and other horrible illness now vs. the 50s and 60s (when we weren’t so populated nor dependent on long commutes — talking Bay Area here…) and that back then only 1 in (I forget specifically but it was) thousands of children had asthma; how now people who never smoked are coming down with lung cancer and other frightening diseases compared to in the earlier days — more people smoked (and there weren’t all the bans on areas, people smoked wherever they liked…) yet their children didn’t have asthma and the other breathing problems that now face 1 in 4 children, even though less people smoke now.

    They did a little public service film doc — it had two sealed chambers that were thick (and see through) with a little hole in one where one of them blew [their] smoke of a cig through into (mind you, I don’t remember he was an actual smoker, he was just doing the science…); the other had a tailpipe of a running BMW SUV blowing in it’s hole. The time: 5 minutes. The caption: which would you survive in? We all know the answer to that one, yet somehow we make ourselves forget as we’re doing two plus hours of commuting every day and taking our cars to go a few blocks instead of walking… I pray for the day people wake up to this horror and realize (besides the stress they’ve put on their kids from being away from their parents for an extra four hours each day) that moving to the nose bleed sections to get a bigger house but having to tackle 50 plus mile commutes each way to get the paychecks to pay for the bigger houses is the thing that is killing their kids. Along with all that unnecessary exhaust comes convenience foods because, hey, they’re just too tired and so on and so on…

    and the marketing of life continues.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2011 at 1:30 am #

    Hear hear.. I think everyone’s lives have been touched by it.. I’m with the Yoga comment.. How true.. I’m always telling people to breathe.. People fiver to breathe deeply these days… And let’s face it there are heaps of pollutants already we are putting up with.. Great writings!

  31. avatar
    Once | 27 June 2011 at 1:51 am #

    Well…coming from someone who is smoking right now, at this very second, I can say that it is not to have something to do with my hands (I type a lot), nor is it to calm my nerves (it takes a lot of planning to smoke nowadays, it’s rather stressful)…I know exactly what it is, as was recently unearthed in a therapy session. For me personally, it is about control. (If you don’t know the kind of control that I’m talking about, you’re lucky.) Yeah, I see the irony there – “It ends up controlling YOU”, you say…sure, it can do, but not really, push comes to shove in the end and I break out.

    I decided to quit on Monday, tomorrow, because I can’t be medicating my asthma and chasing it with it a fag, yeah I’ve done some crazy things in my day but that simply makes no sense. It’s gone beyond irony, and I am no longer amused.

    I can also say that all the tobacco addiction stuff is more myth than fact. It is so very easy to quit smoking if you really want to – the difference in your body and brain function is so pronounced that it’s a high in itself, it’s fabulous – the trick is wanting to. Like anything else. The trick is stripping away the proverbial shield and saying, “Here I am. Just me.” That’s what it always is. What everything comes back to.

    I’ve had asthma for my entire life, and when I was a kid my parents smoked, and I always swore I’d never do it – couldn’t do it, you see, because of the asthma. Oh, but I got right in there, didn’t I? Well done, me, there’s nothing that I can’t do when I set my mind to it. Which is exactly my point.

    Now we’re full circle, and the asthma’s kicked in with a vengeance, it’s desert weeds and my cats and of course the fags. It’s only just reversible now, so once again God in His infinite mercy has given me the nudge. Or perhaps the bitch slap, apparently I am a bit obtuse when it comes to self-care, I tend to complicate things when it’s really quite simple – what makes you feel good in the long run is what you need to do. Problem being, ya gotta visualize “the long run”, cuz you’re not there yet. Ya gotta believe in it. Otherwise, there won’t be one.

    This is true for a lotta things, on many levels, but I’ll stop here. Glad to know that I’ve given RJReynolds its last $6.39 plus tax, plus so much of my time, energy and breath. So much of my life. Time to take it back and use it for other things.

    • avatar
      Once | 27 June 2011 at 3:07 am #

      In fact…why wait for tomorrow? I’m disgusted now. **throws Camels in drawer**

      Perfect timing, SK…

  32. avatar
    david | 27 June 2011 at 1:57 am #

    thaks for this blog steve ..youve visited this topic several times in recent years…one cool october evening going on two tears ago ..just like that …i quit…the time being rants helped me … so if any one is listening and considering..go ahead …quit …you may very well change your life in ways you cant possibly know…

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2011 at 2:53 am #

    thought for cigs #2 to come… when the world has us rattling off rants of hates to clear the air (pun or otherwise), it’s good when we realize on the other side can be the peace of understanding and something else comes about; hopefully happy and acceptance — clearly into view and more powerful.

  34. avatar
    Georgia | 27 June 2011 at 3:00 am #

    Dearest St. Steven,

    Your father was WAY too young….and I read how traumatic this was for both of your brothers. Too TOO young to lose their father.

    … And iI remember how many times you have written how you wish he was still around…

    Such a waste.

    Beautifully written.

    Sending you love,

    xoxo
    g

  35. avatar
    Narelle | 27 June 2011 at 4:01 am #

    the ‘tobacco spirit’ is laughing all the way to the bank
    doesn’t give two hoots about your lungs, your heart, the damage to your precious eyes…..i.e. every cell and every organism known to man…and beyond
    the sad part is…the weary ‘experts’ still soldier on…singing the same ole song…theres now, and theres too late…

  36. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 27 June 2011 at 4:05 am #

    Sk has indeed wriiten many compelling and poignant blogs denouncing meat amd killing animals for food. He saw the light 39 years ago ! I defend smokers because they are nonviolent in general. I Loathe violent and inhumane hunters, trappers, slaughterhouse owners, commercial fisheries and any human who mistreats and kills innocent animals.

  37. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 27 June 2011 at 5:00 am #

    oh shit I better quit…

  38. avatar
    Boriah | 27 June 2011 at 5:11 am #

    Smoked a pipe yesterday…

  39. avatar
    Steven Krut | 27 June 2011 at 6:46 am #

    I’m with you on your view of cigs, Steve. My father died from lung cancer and it was incredibly horrible. I loved him so much. He never smoked around me or the family, so he spared us the second-hand smoke impact. He strictly forbid me from smoking, even as an adult, and he quit himself, but not soon enough… He said it was peer pressure that got him smoking in the first place as a teenager, so public attacks on cigarettes by people with a public profile like yourself are very helpful. You’ll be pleased to know that starting soon, the FDA here in the states is requiring every cigarette pack sold to have a graphic photo of the consequences of smoking on the package: http://www.fda.gov/TobaccoProducts/Labeling/CigaretteWarningLabels/default.htm

  40. avatar
    Once | 27 June 2011 at 7:37 am #

    I love your music, your poetry, your art. But I love you the most when you are St. Steven Supermartyr…because you are RIGHT. And that rightness is priceless, and helps to heal others.

    Don’t ever doubt it. You were made for many reasons, and this is a lovely example.

    😉

  41. avatar
    Once | 27 June 2011 at 7:48 am #

    And the crickets are chirping cuz there’s nothing happening here,
    No not a crazy drunken spiel nor a stoned revelation
    Not a new idea or a reformation of an old way of thinking
    Nothing that would interest the bystander on the cyber line
    But if they could see the changes
    What changes while those crickets chirp
    Nature knows it shows it all the time
    It’s inside the outside it’s quiet sublime
    I’ve lived a long time comparatively and
    Seen alotta dust and smoke
    There’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t wanna know
    The people in this party are those I’ve chosen after all
    And they’ve chosen me for some reason so
    Raise a glass of nothing and hail who you are mates
    Because we’re all something something beautiful
    And that is what really matters
    And that is all that matters
    Cheep…cheep…cheep was the first music
    Cricket One gets pissed off cuz he’s in the band
    And you sprayed him with toxins and you didn’t even
    See him cuz all you heard was Bob John and Steven
    What about Cricket Two laying down the foundation
    The rhythm of life the beat of the Earth’s heart
    Oh that cricket puts it out in spades
    So you step on him and crush him into nonexistence
    Cricket Three now you gotta hear that
    You do and slam your door shut, close your window
    Fucking insects you say but what are you my friend
    Insect of the Earth like the rest of them
    So when Cricket Four hits the harmony
    And finally you take a deep breath and see
    When you let go of the noise of your consciousness
    Listen to that cheep, cuz it’s you who are cheap
    And there’s nothing happening
    Nothing happening right now
    Make the changes in your silenc
    Listen to the world and let it remind us
    That there is always more than you know
    Always.

  42. avatar
    timetraveller | 27 June 2011 at 8:54 am #

    Stuff your fucking cigs, man, and get us some fucking music! Jeez, I feel like I am back in school again listening to some ninny telling me what do (and I`m a fucking non-smoker). Get off it, man, and get on with it! Get on with what you`re good at and leave the anti-smoking rant to some tight assed moralistic doctor somewhere…. If people want to commit suicide by smoking, by all all means let them do so……. Why the big concern? I thought your concern was music, poetry and mindexpanding insights inrto the essentials of excistence…. I`m getting slightly disappointed here.

  43. avatar
    Karen | 27 June 2011 at 9:56 am #

    Melissa I also suffered from panic attacks & I havent had one for a while hoping quitting the fags 4 months ago.. will help with that too

    my father died of a heart attack at 45 he smoked my mother smoked and died after having an operation for bowel cancer at 75 because of the complications of having emphysema wasnt the bowel cancer op that killed her it was her ruined lungs..
    another thing my mother was also schizophrenic, Ive noticed that many people with mental illnesses smoke ..might be some co relation there

    • avatar
      Melissa | 27 June 2011 at 6:07 pm #

      Karen, that is fantastic that you haven’t had any panic attacks in a while, and that you have managed to give the ciggies the flick too .. good on you!! I’m absolutely positive that it will make a huge difference to your anxiety levels. Good luck 🙂

      I am so very sorry to read about both your mum and dad 🙁

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2011 at 10:12 am #

    http://www.sfn.org/index.aspx?pagename=brainbriefings_smoking

    heres something on that subject..

  45. avatar
    Karen | 27 June 2011 at 10:14 am #

    http://www.sfn.org/index.aspx?pagename=brainbriefings_smoking
    woops forgot to log in..heres something on that subject

  46. avatar
    Tiny Tot | 27 June 2011 at 11:07 am #

    You should join up with Simon Chapman. He needs someone like you to help him with his lifelong anti-smoking campaign.

  47. avatar
    DavidP | 27 June 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    halo St Steve, how are you?
    I concur with your sermon
    an ex-smoker I am
    abhorent business it is
    governments allow it
    cos they collect taxes from it
    stupid human animals we are
    I dont think smoking any substance is going to be good
    no matter the justification for it
    a fools paradise, an illusory hell
    where grains of insight are peppered amongst the deception
    in order to give a genuine flavour so the lies are swallowed
    it isnt worth it I have learned the hard way

  48. avatar
    joan | 27 June 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    you made your point
    when people are sticking the pins in
    its easy to disarm them
    with your own version

    too sick to care
    BUT not smoking

  49. avatar
    heidi | 27 June 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    Father Steven, open the vein, sit back and watch the mutitudes bleed out. I patiently await #2

  50. avatar
    Shaun | 27 June 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    Over a year off cigarettes.. And have finally stopped mixing it in spliffs.

  51. avatar
    Cath | 27 June 2011 at 9:57 pm #

    Creative Arts as therapies, reconnecting with the planet, with the body, getting physical and lots of healing spiritual mental emotional. I been through the range of plant and pharmecueticals, it is possible, When the ambos bring you back for the fourth time and you remember what happenend fully , its enough of a kick up the butt to go ok, my obsession with death and the spirit of death is over. I can walk between worlds without them now. Crystal clarity is the best drug of all! Trust me, and MUSIC IS THE BEST HIGH ONE COULD EVER WANT LITERALLY
    MUSIC IS A HIGHER REVELATION THAN ANY RELIGION OR PHILOSOPHY my favourite quote! Connect to your deepest longing as if you only had a month to live left and live passionately. 🙂

  52. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 June 2011 at 2:48 am #

    I dig it. Lost my father to lung cancer last year. Although he had not smoked for years,the damage was done. God bless Kilbey.

  53. avatar
    Freddie | 28 June 2011 at 4:37 am #

    My father has smoked since he was about fifteen or so and he’s never been able to kick the habit. He has quit multiple times, sometimes for as long as three years but he is always reeled back in. When he quits, he gains weight because he wants to eat a lot of candies. He smoked through some very tough financial times. After I was old enough to know about such things, I sat down with him and showed him how much money he was actually spending on cigarettes. The pain in his face I still cannot put from my mind even today and I never went there again. Dad is 78 and still alive so I reckon he is one of the lucky ones?

    My husband and I went to a bar with some of his coworkers. The smoke in that place was so heavy it took my breath away but after a few minutes, I was okay. Later when we walked back outside into the fresh air we both started coughing like crazy. I can see how it would mess with you. On many nights I have heard dad coughing; he would get up and have a smoke to make it stop.

    There is a young fellow I work with who has taken to smoking an electric cigarettes. It looks like a cigarette and when smoked produces a mist which simulates smoke but has no odor. Apparently you put the nicotine inside and you’re good to go. He is perfectly content to sit in his office and get his nicotine fix and I reckon it gives him something to do with his hands. However occasionally he goes out and smokes a real cigarette. He calls this a “breathing treatment” .

  54. avatar
    Freddie | 28 June 2011 at 4:39 am #

    Timebeing, excessive use of fuck is just plain fucking lazy and you fucking know it and after the first time or two it loses all its fucking impact and becomes fucking pointless. Do you fucking understand that? FUCK!!!

    Haha
    :^)

  55. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2011 at 10:00 am #

    Your spot on Kilbey. Addicts don’t give a shit that it kills or that it’s killing those around them. Now, I’ve moved to an area in the US (I better not say where except for I hate it here & trying to figure out how to get out) they freakin chew it! All these young men walking around with bulging lower lips! Fucking unattractive looking, blackens thier teeth, always having to spit, carrying around a stupid plastic bottle to spit in, kinda like a baby needing a bottle. Yet somehow, they manage to find a love interest. How do you fucking kiss someone with that shit in there?! Disgusting!! Anyway, Amen to today’s blog.

  56. avatar
    Ess | 3 July 2011 at 3:58 pm #

    i hate violence
    i hate men who hit women
    i hate anyone who hits children
    in the home, in the street, in the dark, behind a door, ignored in front of doors
    i hate passive bystanders
    i hate silent colluders
    i hate governments who inflict violence on their own people
    i hate governments who ignore violence amongst their people
    i hate the invisible scars left by violence
    i hate the psychic membranes it devours
    i hate it when violent perpetrators are punished violently
    i hate it when victims of violence live in fear for the rest of their lives
    i hate violence that’s domestic or international, sexual or homophobic
    justified, accepted, avoided in polite conversation
    we are a culture of denial
    we talk about the violence of ‘others’
    we talk about the outsiders who come and bring their violent ways
    but they should be warned about us
    they should be warned that tonight children will be harmed inside australian homes
    that tonight thousands of women and children will be homeless because of violence
    that tonight thousands of children will not sleep because of fear
    that they will pay a long and heavy price
    that the images will last a lifetime
    that lives will be sent on dangerous detours
    and some will never find their way back
    that every morning men and women wake feeling shame and regret for their actions (if they can remember)
    but when the alcohol or pain kicks in again their shame will be gone and history will repeat
    violence is the preferred option of a coward
    it is the outlet for the weak and ignorant
    it is the choice that knows no other
    it says that physical power is always right and everything else is worthless
    no child should be frightened tonight
    no child should cower under blows
    and if i don’t speak out and call it by its name
    i will be the one who allows it to endure

  57. avatar
    A Daye Laye | 12 July 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    O! Steve. It can be tough reading between the lines as you’re writing them, I guess.

    You’re undervaluing the spirit of addiction. It’s still a spirit, isn’t it? Not everyone wants a HOLY FUCK experience. You have to pick your kids up from school, carry your elderly dog up and down stairs, whatever. You need to think clearly and have control over your body. Cigs give you enough of a rush to feel in control of your body without fucking you up – THAT’S the appeal. You’re you, but you remember, with each puff, that you can control who you are and how your body responds.

    You can fight that need all you want, but it’s the same reason people exercise, meditate, eat shit or eat gold, whatever. A sense of control. And people kill themselves every day, in so many little ways. None of us will live forever and some don’t want to try. Most smokers don’t die of anything smoking-related (which is a fallacy in itself).

    Fine, the ancients did this or that. Times they are a-changin’. The ancients didn’t blog (half-assed telepathy?) or fly in planes (bastardized astral travel?), either. They certainly didn’t stick needles in their veins. New mediums and new ways for new times. Just a false sense of control over ourselves, like anything else.

  58. avatar
    neptune | 1 August 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    I just read your complete tirade, and will read part 2 in a moment. I appreciate the time you took to go wonkers on tobaccy.

    I am addicted …. And I HATE it, I hate it, I hate it. It controls me. I am not sure why I smoke. My parents both smoked, so I was born with it in my bloodstream. I stole my first Pall Mall red, non-filter at about age 11-13. From there it was Marlboro red in the box. Then it was Kool, so that others would not bum them from me.

    And now here I am, I won’t say how many years later, but it’s over 40, and I am still smoking. I only recently started hating it in the past 5 years. I hate it because it stinks and because it controls me and because it wastes money…. for all the reason that you hate it too.

    I have prayed for God to help me quit, but so far no luck. Both of my parents died from COPD, from ciggies, and I am in line for the same if I do not stop.
    I don’t know how to stop. I will continue to pray for the Lord to show me a way to stop. The only time I stop is when I get sick from smoking too much, and have to go on antibiotics. How stupid is THAT?

    By the way I had a dream about you last nite. Your Dad was in the dream. You were working on a website, and you were working with words. And I went and typed it up for you on an old-timey typewriter. You were thinking real hard in your head, and you were thinking so intensely that it made you a little grumpy. I don’t remember what all was on the paper you were writing … just two things …. dot com and two other words. I won’t reveal the two other words as I need to figure out what they mean in relevance to my life, and other dreams. I am a thinker like you and will be thinking on this all day until I go to sleep again. It’s weird I dreamed about you as I don’t know you and have not even followed your blog lately, til today. I used to read it a lot, but have gotten too busy for computers. Strange. I think sometimes the Lord sends us messages in our dreams. So needless to say, first thing I did upon wakening was to come read your blog on bad ciggies. Maybe it will help me. Thanks.

  59. avatar
    Harmon | 1 November 2012 at 7:11 pm #

    Best anti-smoking diatribe ever.

  60. avatar
    josh | 28 June 2013 at 2:08 am #

    Fucking cigs are a crutch for anxiety and other crappy mental conflicts.
    Thank you for this post I enjoyed reading everything. It gave me more strength against deceit given by cigs. I would very much appreciate support. Ty remnantjosh@gmail.com
    fuck benson and hedges. I love how a fellow said some things are best left alone. Reminds me of adam and eve

  61. avatar
    Rebecca1KS | 13 July 2014 at 4:26 am #

    WOW…. Seems I was missing some serious s*** all these years. But everything in life is better late than never! Re this topic, John Lennon had it right: I don’t judge – not on anything, unless it harms someone other than one’s self. And then look out, you’ll have me defending the defenseless (animals, children, etc.). People have the right to f*** themselves up, which is one reason ‘death sticks’ [as I call them] and booze are still readily available. It’s also why I have nothing against suicide, because, whose life is it anyway? Two more points, as I’m feeling some passionate ramblings from this post: 1) alcohol is never the real culprit, it’s what the alcohol unearths in each individual (which explains the wide range of reactions to it); and 2) heroin is basically street morphine – something I can say I’m quite familiar with having almost died [twice in a row] – and as the addict on the House series finale said (paraphrasing), “it’s like God had taken over my body and there was no more pain or unhappiness for me or anyone else.” I get it. Uncomfortable for most people, maybe. But truth is not always comfortable. Steve Kilbey: you’re really light years ahead of most people in this crazy world. Keep evolving, you’re doing great.


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