posted on June 27, 2011 at 8:59 pm

the addict immaculate

dont get hung up on the terminology

try to find the idea within the words

modern science is uncertain where addiction resides

yes it is a series of neuro chemical blah blahs

it is also a crafty opponent that seems to out think you at every level

as you plot its demise in the secretest corner of your being

it fucking laughs to itself

baby it  knows your tiniest little inkling inside out

its got you bugged in heart and mind

its blocking your own internal dialogues

it obscures the heart and mind from each other

it fills you with irrational fear

it manipulates your choices

it jams your common sense

it bombards you with its propaganda

and it censors the information going in

it switches off self preservation measures

it over rides logic

it tells you one and one is three and you believe it

you find it hard to fight it because it isnt anywhere

but it always knows what your next move will be

it plays you like a fish…. let you go …reel you in

its got your number

it knows you

it is within you

you invited it in

i believe all substances that affect our consciousness have some spirit

or some program

or some agenda

or some disembodied intelligence behind them

and these spirits hide inside us

like lobbyists championing their cause

and telling you how badly you need them

and putting a spin on anything concerning them

and if ever cornered becoming angry and desperate

if you ask your friends why they smoke

after youve waded through all the usual rationales

you will invariably find that they become quite angry

because the spirit will not let them access the answers

and in their bafflement they become surly and incommunicative

and protective of their addiction

the spirits inner voice can sound just like your own

and it can threaten and cajole and whine and remonstrate

talk you into or out of anything  it wants

it tells you you enjoy smoking more than you do

it tells you that stopping will be harder than it really is

it tells you that you will stop…one day…but not yet….

it spews out hard luck stories why you need to keep going

dont let other people control you by getting you to quit

you’ll quit when youre good and ready but not today

you read all those statistics about cancer

you see all the pictures and the voice thinks of something

the spirit convinces you it wont happen to you

you’ll be the one percent that doesnt get something from it

i knew a woman who was a heavy smoker

she had a terrible cough

i said maybe you should slow down with the cigarettes

she said the cigarettes helped her cope with the cough!

i mean whos coming up with this stuff…?

who is manning the switchboard in your brain…?

something is telling you to keep doing something thats killing you

something that barely gives any reward but to satisfy itself

for this most meagre pleasure you are prepared to die horribly

and prematurely

and the spirit goes on yabbering year in year out

helping you procrastinate helping you relapse

helping you ignore those nasty warning signs

sometimes a whisper sometimes a roar

the voice of the spirit

listen

can you hear it?

 

 

 

46 Responses to “fucking cigarettes #2 / the spirits of addiction”

  1. avatar
    23flies... | 27 June 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    heavy

  2. avatar
    meg manestar | 27 June 2011 at 10:03 pm #

    I don’t think it is the voice of the spirit, i think it is the voice of the lower self…the voice of the base, the addictee…the higher self or the spirit is sitting around saying “will you look at this dickhead, man i tell myself, i tell myself and my lowerself is just a dickhead like a big baby that wants comfort…….” the higherself is the discipline and the watcher and the logic…some people have powerful higher selves…and some people have totally addictive lower selves and their bodies do not listen to any logic….the lower is the body who is like a baby who wants it’s pacifier. Good topic and greatly written..but i think the spirit is much maligned here and it is not the culprit…i really do believe in a higher and lower self…getting a great dialogue/flow between the two is the age old struggle of (hu)man.

  3. avatar
    . | 27 June 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    and the spirit whispers a most confounding song
    revealing the truth that maybe we’ve known all along
    that the biggest enemy we have is our one and very own,
    humanity clinging and dripping from our spiritual bones
    packaged and wrapped in a skin like fine linen and clothes
    we’re marooned on a alien planet faraway from our eternal abode
    we don’t remember our divinity entirely, so we search among
    the triggers this world offers, but it’s never, ever enough
    a smoke, a drag, a drink, an intoxicating rush in our blood
    tonic and exhilirating like the surge of elements in a flood
    guaranteed to quell our mortal uprisings and fill our empty cups
    broken promises because the thrill is over before it’s even begun
    and we scratch our heads time and again, sadly back to square one
    looking for the next fix to appease our yearnings of a long lost home

  4. avatar
    Karen | 27 June 2011 at 10:38 pm #

    I could hear it but that little “spirit” om my shoulder’s voice it very weak when it comes to smoking now after 4 months of NO SMOKING yay 😀 ..

    I do hear from people that have quit smoking for a lot longer than I have that even after 5 ten or 20 years they still sometimes crave a ciggy which depresses me a bit…I guess its like alcohol one day at a time & I know Im one of those people that would be fagging away like theres no tomorrow if I even had one little puff ..so no “just one wont hurt” for me.. ever..

    I remember you saying something about quitting heroin ..that you dont even feel like it anymore & that if it was in front of you you wouldnt need or want it..I hope to be like that with the smokes for ever

    I see people now outside in the middle of winter fagging away sooo glad I quit HA ….
    & that person that said “leave the railing against smoking to someone else and just make music…. fuck off …if you can help or encourage one person to quit youve done good “St Steven”..so carry on & god bless 😀

  5. avatar
    Ray OK | 27 June 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    Thanks for this truly insightful post. I will save this one especially now with my upcoming 4th year anniversary of quitting my most beloved habit of all, cigarettes. I still dream about the goddamn things and I’m still in its shadow.

    • avatar
      Cocoamo | 28 June 2011 at 9:42 pm #

      After 30 years of quitting, I still have dreams where I have been smoking for a week or so. In these dreams I’m so profoundly disappointed in myself for starting again, and dreading having to try to quit again. It’s really a powerful addiction, no?

      Your Friend in Pennsylvania

  6. avatar
    Son of Incogneato | 27 June 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    I have de-invited drugs, drink, cigarettes and crap food from the physical temple of my soul. A battle so lucidly and perfectly described by you above. To be freed from the chains of addiction is to be rebirthed. Now if only I could kick that fucking caffeine habit …

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 28 June 2011 at 10:59 am #

      caffeine is the worst because it is the most socially accepted but still torture to give up — so why go through the pain? never addicted to anything else so maybe I’m speaking out of line but when I was young I always told myself I never want to ever have to say I can’t do “this” again, so I purposely didn’t do things too often or too much (except coffee!). I’ve cried watching friends go down and I just didn’t want anyone to have those tears for me… it was so sad and sometimes I got angry (I know I shouldn’t have) because I had to watch.

      Getting off the caffeine years ago, I felt like a truck hit me… literally rolled in bed in agony for days, shaking like having a horrible flu. I was told after the fact that caffeine withdrawl could be categorized (cold turkey) with gettting off the other heavy hitting drugs. the other day I was with a friend in a little italian cafe — ordered a double decaf latte… the guys behind the counter made fun of me… like I was wasting my time and they laughed (gently). I just smiled/said nothing as I was quietly remembering myself — years ago when the same cafe had a newspaper’s comic taped to the counter… depicting the, “de-cafe.” the characters drawn were asleep. I remember thinking (back then) yeah! why would anyone order decaf? as painful as kicking caffeine was years later, now I know why.

      Good luck —

      • avatar
        Cocoamo | 28 June 2011 at 9:59 pm #

        Some years ago, I had some important meetings to attend in New York City – expensive in time, money, etc. – Don’t ask why I decided just to drink decaf the day before the meeting. I experienced extreme nausea, migraine in my head, ears, teeth – vomited several times. Ruined any contribution I might have made to the meeting. Toward the end of the meeting, I had a can of Pepsi and my symptoms magically disappeared. Hmmmm. Expensive little lesson.

        Later research revealed there are adenosine (a neurochemical) receptors in the brain, teeth and ears. Since caffeine pushes the adenosine out of the way and plugs into its receptors, caffeine use causes more and more receptors to grow, which they do very rapidly. So, someone used to getting caffeiene who stops suddenly has a flood of adenosine in all these receptors, which in huge amounts like that causes all the pain and nausea symptoms. Adenosine also makes you drowsy, which explains why the caffeine wakes you up when it plugs into the normal adenosine receptors.

        I’m sitting here drinking a cup of caffeine coffee while reading the blog – agghhhh!

        Your Friend in Pennsylvania

  7. avatar
    Ess | 27 June 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    a shining pearl within reach
    gathering speed
    down the trail
    follow the light
    to potemkin village
    torrid heights
    they came in a rush
    when i found myself watching i could see the monster awoken
    a beast that could die a thousand deaths
    impenetrable, overbearing
    unending babbling persuasions
    for too long feeding
    then invisible, then bleeding
    the blur takes the night
    the daylight wants to hide
    only endurance prevails
    from the nothing sacred
    the nothing
    hiding, creeping
    idiot, fool, coward
    threaded to breath
    deluded chemical alarm
    a record broken
    no-one woken
    knew not how to hold ground
    on foundations yet to be found

  8. avatar
    DavidP | 27 June 2011 at 11:19 pm #

    similar to what manestar said, I think the inner voice of addiction
    is just another one of many lower inner states or egos as I call them
    and things like drugs stir all of them up which they feed off
    physical addiction to smoking is gone after about 3 or 5 days I believe
    after that it is all psychological
    old habits die hard
    I guess some of the psychological side comes down to neuro pathways
    which have been established and reinforced by habit
    hence it can take a few goes to actually quit for good
    need to rewire or unwire the brain
    I started to ween off smoking and even did a quit smoking course
    but it was only once I learned about esoteric psychology
    and how to eliminate the egos and be aware of the present moment
    that I could really grab the bull by the horns and start to get control
    peace through self control

  9. avatar
    Malcolm | 28 June 2011 at 12:01 am #

    Right on

  10. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 28 June 2011 at 12:13 am #

    Your last 2 Blogs have been your most important in the sense of unaware education, so many that are blind may open their eyes and their minds. Even if you only reach one person and change their life, than all the words you typed over the past couple days have been the most poignant in such a long time.

    Great Work Killer !!!

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  11. avatar
    Georgia | 28 June 2011 at 12:42 am #

    Steven,

    The quote about the cigarettes helping the cough pretty much summed up the ridiculous excuses I have heard over the years. Both tragic and funny….and then devastating.

    Then there are the Tobacco Companies….this is not the product that the Native Americans consumed so many years ago….

    BTW this all reminds me of the Aussie movie Bliss. I saw it years ago…painful to watch..but it has never escaped my mind. It reminds me of that boardroom scene….

    xo
    g

  12. avatar
    andy | 28 June 2011 at 1:12 am #

    damned things killed my dad at 52 also.
    his heart exploded during sex.
    left ventricle totally blown out.
    the coroner told me he could have tarmac’d his drive with the amount of tar in my dad’s lungs.
    funny eh?
    not.
    if you smoke…donn’t.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 28 June 2011 at 2:41 pm #

      I am so sorry Andy, I also lost my father to cigardeaths at the age of 56 , , 2 days before my H.S. graduation. His heart gave out and he was so excited to see me graduate. Because no one in my family ever did, that dropped out or went to war.

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

  13. avatar
    . | 28 June 2011 at 2:28 am #

    we search among faiths and religion for comfort
    generations bound together in one unbroken throng
    passing down wisdom and virtues to know right from wrong
    to help us during this long journey as we walk among
    the uncertainty and suffering as we try to be strong
    in the face of temptations, all those bad things that do us bodily harm…
    and can send us to a premature passing into the cold, cold ground

  14. avatar
    Cecilia | 28 June 2011 at 2:47 am #

    Smoking is the number one cause of PREVENTABLE death in the U.S. Enjoy!

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 29 June 2011 at 4:19 am #

      stats have been changing rapidly — hopefully due to people quitting smoking — jut under 500 thousand people die each year in the States due to smoking, which is way too many as it is preventable; whereas now(with our horrible diets) over 1.5 million people die each year due to obesity, inactivity and high fat levels in their bodies — blood/livers – diet related causes; all preventable; if you add diabetes, you’re hitting close to the 2 million mark, and while smoking issues are on the decline, the diet issues are doubling every year… so what’s scarier is the future for our children… current levels have 1 out of 3 considered overweight; 1 out of 6 obese… and the government has laxed its BMI indicators quite a bit in the last 20 years, so the figures there aren’t really accurate.

      Vegetarians: live seven years longer on average and only 1 in 1,029 are considered overweight (one study shows that in ten more years if the rate continues, the only “non-overweight” people in the U.S., will be vegetarians. another interesting stat: people who regularly floss live ten years longer on average, but that’s just probably part of good hygiene habits seems to make one healthier.

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 June 2011 at 2:50 am #

    Dig it, SK.

  16. avatar
    david | 28 June 2011 at 6:34 am #

    …i hear nothing!…

  17. avatar
    mattyc | 28 June 2011 at 9:02 am #

    the young addiction is vulnerable
    he’s naive, distracted, vagrant
    he can be ambushed, he can be beat
    ah, but the crusty old veteran is tough fucking nut.
    he pulls the strings, and you dance, you salivate, you vomit your dignity
    with the confidence of methuselah he excretes his roots
    and strangles your soul
    but the young addiction is charming, handsome, fun
    quite harmless really,
    maybe, just this once…

  18. avatar
    Tiny Tot | 28 June 2011 at 10:56 am #

    Brilliant

  19. avatar
    Once | 28 June 2011 at 11:20 am #

    Ummm..ok…workin’ hard on it, mates…take back what I said about it’s “easy”, it isn’t…

    Like

    You and three other people like this
    Oh good three on my side
    But there is no side
    It’s us against us and always
    Trying to save ourselves
    Yeah, we get home from our job
    And the real job is living
    And it’s not so hard to take
    And really easy to fake
    But I don’t wanna live that way
    I want to be what this Universe made me
    I want to live without stuff
    Like money and possessions and alcohol
    And the feeling that it’s never enough
    Like cigarettes cool hot men and the
    Feeling that I’ve gotta be tough
    I am not I am not a siren
    Romantic as that would be
    I’m a child from age one to forty-seven
    And guess what none of us change
    From birth thru life thru everything
    We are we be we remain
    I love it when you like it
    I love it when you feel the same
    I love just having somebody
    Someone else to blame
    It’s me though and I’ve lost
    I gotta own it and all that it cost
    Like me three times like me forever
    Here for you bright and clever
    I’ll try, try it out tho I’m maimed
    Try to be here now
    Can’t promise you anything
    And all I ask from you is
    The same.

  20. avatar
    Cocoamo | 28 June 2011 at 11:22 am #

    If you get a chance to see the movie Lost Horizon (the 1937 version), there is quite an interesting scene. This film is about a plane that crashes in the Himalayas in Tibet (they end up in Shangri-La). Very cool movie on many levels, but one of the most amazing scenes takes place on the plane. A sickly woman is coughing and a fellow passenger approaches her in complete seriousness and sincerity. He says, “I’m a doctor. That’s a terrible cough…would you like a cigarette?”. Really. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lost_horizon/

    On another note – not to beat the dead horse, but it is interesting how you can exchange the words “eating meat” in place of the word “smoking” all through your blog. we have a theory about this meat-eating spirit (this spirit is surely the Devil’s brother)…

    In some primitive cultures, the ultimate way of proving possession and power over another was to kill and eat them or a part of them, such as the heart or brain. This demonstrated the epitome of control over the other.

    We see our friends and relatives wither and die around us. We look in the mirror and lament the ravages of age, seeing parts become less functional and worn. We may go down swinging, but no matter how hard we fight it, we’re going down, and we are completely out of control of that…helpless to stop it. It’s pretty hard to accept. We try to deny it, mostly.

    So, we lust for control and power–although that is completely impossible to attain. But wait, we can get a little shot of feeling power by taking control of the life of another, and the ultimate is to kill and eat them.

    Being too civilized (ha ha) to cannabalize, we substitute animals.

    That’s a hard one to remove from a person, isn’t it?

    Of course, there is the Eastern theory that the ultimate power is to relinquish all pursuit of it, and to accept and embrace the powerlessness, kinda like soft hands in Tai Chi.

    We’ll have to work on that one.

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania

  21. avatar
    Donna | 28 June 2011 at 11:46 am #

    I think you described the thought process of an addict perfectly. It’s obvious that people are influenced and controlled by voices coming from without,such as the voices from the media. So if we let the media do our thinking for us, why not spirits? I personally don’t believe in a divided self, just one soul that chooses either the high road or the low road. And just as you wrote, I think there are spirits with their own agendas that make choosing the high road quite difficult. This reminded me of The Screwtape Letters. Very though-provoking!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 June 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    I still keep a pack around some of the time and like a cig on occassion or when I go out for an evening with friends when they’re smoking, but end up throwing them out when they’ve gone stale. when I quit the third of fourth time (each time for years) I felt like I hear a lot of those talking about it now… I missed it though I was never a heavy smoker; and didn’t want to have the stress of “never” the last time I quit so I’d not start again. sounds stupid, but for me it worked. but the bad part of that is, like last week a girlfriend and I got together for a few days — which isn’t very often anymore — we smoked (a lot – like a pack a day between the two of us) ouch! now that she’s left, the way my throat feels makes me think how horrible it would be if you actually had to smoke consistently every day, which I guess I was lucky — even when I smoked I’d forget to for weeks sometimes months… and then reading all of this – the danger of the “what if I couldn’t put them down” I guess it could happen, huh? that would suck. next time we see each other – it will be a non-smoking visit — and save the one ocassional cig for an occassion and then only one.

    For those contemplating quitting smoking, caffeine is a much tougher withdrawl — nicotine is easy compared to and the way my throat feels right now, assuming smokers get used to their throats feeling this way normally, it is so worth it.

  23. avatar
    Melissa | 28 June 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    What angers me most about cigarette smoking is the industry behind it that enslaves people and brainwashes them into thinking how terribly difficult and painful it will be to quit when it finally comes time to do so. What sickens me most is that smokers who desperately want to stop are so frozen by fear about quitting… or do stop but spend many years afterwards still pining for another cigarette.

    Seriously sk, I don’t believe there is any sort of spirit behind nicotine. There is no malevolent force behind nicotine addiction, other than the industry behind it perpetuating the myth of how difficult it is to stop. I hope that in time more and more people will wake up and finally realise how seriously they have been conned.

    http://www.allencarr.com.au/

    whether you smoke or not, it’s a damn good read 🙂

    • avatar
      Melissa | 28 June 2011 at 1:54 pm #

      this is more about Allen Carr’s books

      http://allencarr.com/35/easy-way-to-stop-smoking

      He has also written about alcohol addiction.

    • avatar
      neptune | 1 August 2011 at 9:50 pm #

      thanks for link, I just ordered the book from Amazon and will read it in hopes that this will be the ticket to freedom from ‘baccy. I do realize that I must be a willing participant in this endeavor. I have read books before, been hypnotized, tried quit smoking kits, and even the non smoking cigarette. So far, I am still tokin’ like a fewl.

  24. avatar
    caitbrid | 28 June 2011 at 1:50 pm #

    Wow how appropriate. My mom just was told that her lung cancer has returned and spread. I wish someone could have made her stop smoking a long time ago but no one could. FUCKING CIGARETTES is right.

  25. avatar
    Melissa | 28 June 2011 at 1:55 pm #

    more on Allen Carr’s books

    http://allencarr.com/35/easy-way-to-stop-smoking

    he has written about alcohol addiction also

  26. avatar
    Melissa | 28 June 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Here are some pretty cool reviews on Allen Carr’s book about alcohol addiction, for anyone who is interested

    http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Drinking/dp/1402736479/ref=pd_sim_b_4

  27. avatar
    Quincy Lehr | 28 June 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    The reasons for taking up a habit that everyone knows is incredibly dangerous are as eclectic as the reasons one quits. It’s the interstitial bits that are largely the same, just with different levels of self-delusion. Sure, when I smoked (for sixteen years), I knew I was addicted, but it was only when I quit (June 19, 2010) that I realized that my moods had been on an hourly cycle for the greater part of two decades.

    For me (and this is valuable solely as anecdotal evidence), it wasn’t the dangers of cancer, heart attack, stroke, etc. that caused me to quit, but rather what should have been a three-day upper respiratory infection turning into two weeks of laryngitis. Smoking was, in essence, getting in the way of enjoying smoking. It was no longer fun–and smoking had been fun. I doubt I could have quit on the basis that one should quit. But as it was, I didn’t want to smoke anymore, suffered through the withdrawal I knew would come, was in an inordinately foul mood for some time afterwards, started exercising more to keep the endorphins up, inadvertently kicked the caffeine addiction (which had been tied to the ciggies–pack of Camel Lights and a Dr. Pepper in the morning), readdicted myself to caffeine because enough is enough, for Christ’s sake, and generally got healthier as a way of keeping my mind off the mood swings of a brain no longer regulsted by nicotine. The healthy bit was epiphenomenal, though, a way of passing the time.

    But that was me, and at the risk of sounding glib, the general question of why people do things that are incontrovertably bad for them isn’t simply a matter of the very real nature of addiction, but why someone like me started smoking in 1995, for God’s sake. My father’s specialization was carcinogens, after all. I had to know the things were a bad proposition, and while my own mortality was, being a teenager, rather distant, I never had a death wish. It was probably some combination of subtitled films and subtle peer pressure and an overall association of elegance that hangs around the things despite all evidence to the contrary.

    For what it’s worth.

  28. avatar
    captain mission | 28 June 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    tobacco is a sacred plant and should be used in ritual and ceremony, usually while preparing and before the use of mescaline, or other plant intelligences.
    modern commercial cigarettes have very little tobacco in the mix, mostly chemicals and additives designed to create addiction. there are about 4000 additional chemicals, including pesticides, carbon monoxide, cyanide and various metals in each cigarette tube.
    it’s not recommended as a recreational pursuit and the marketing machine’s integrity it is questionable for pushing it. governments all over the world cream a vast fortune from this addiction in taxes yet the health costs are probably vast as well, however human life is considerably cheaper in the modern age it seems.
    i think it’s very sad that cigarettes are considered legal whereas ‘the green goddess’ is considered a drug. one will open the mind and expand consciousness, the other in it’s commercial form will make you very sick.
    same goes for alcohol, a very malevolent spirit with no redeeming qualities.
    when it comes to drugs, ‘just say know.’

  29. avatar
    captain mission | 28 June 2011 at 9:09 pm #

    ps excellent posts sir.

  30. avatar
    . | 28 June 2011 at 9:19 pm #

    my paternal grandmother enjoyed smoking quite a bit until it ended her
    my grandfather, her husband, loved his PBR & marlbaros at 7 in the morning
    my uncle, her brother, rolled his own sticks, no filter, labels or warnings
    my step-grandfather puffed on the lucky strikes, poor ‘ol dead bastard
    my uncle smoked quite a bit, too, if i remember correctly, he was a fireman
    my bio-dad burned cylinders after leaving his family, what a warm memory
    my uncles overseas smoke some foreign brands daily after lunch and dinner
    my cousins, their kids, carry on the tradition but should really reconsider
    my aunts, bio-dad’s sisters, smoked for reasons I don’t even remember
    my mom couldn’t stand the sight or smell of them, she read her scriptures
    my siblings and i fortunately never, ever touched the things, go figure…

  31. avatar
    Daniel W. | 29 June 2011 at 12:54 am #

    Right on.

  32. avatar
    Ess | 29 June 2011 at 6:45 pm #

    the water is still, the only word
    serene, tranquil, unbroken, like common glass, but still
    an italian man walks with me
    not the godfather, not the one who took my breath, but friendly
    there they are! he exclaims, pointing me to the sea
    where two black swans float beside us
    their necks the shape of an ess, the first letter of a name
    the beauty in darkness
    I walk back alone, lost between exhalations
    the silence tantric, the ether potent in anticipation
    a solitary tin boat on the horizon, triangles of static white fixed to one side
    only water without breath, stoic earth beneath my feet, wind of calm, fire contained
    it is a moment
    across the bay tall buildings are lost
    a ship drifts in and out from afar
    are you out there guiding me through the mist
    are you beckoning the spirits of the sea from the bow
    will you come to me when the fog finds its home
    the sky is red late at night
    and I peer through every window searching for its source
    but it is born from nowhere, it travels alone
    and in the morning all is gone

  33. avatar
    hellbound heart | 29 June 2011 at 7:54 pm #

    my parents were very heavy smokers until a few years ago they had to quit….it was a matter of stop or die, according to the doctors…….I think back to my childhood and I remember the stink of stale smoke in their bedroom in the mornings, the hacking cough of my father, my mother’s lung disease and gaunt face
    they quit and are still alive to experience the joy of their grandchild
    why something so deadly is legal, I shall never know
    love always…..

  34. avatar
    ASSMIDGET | 29 June 2011 at 9:18 pm #

    I’m a smoker, like my daddy, his dad, his mom. It’s in my blood. It does have a spirit and he makes me feel like a pancake. There’s no stopping it so I enjoy it. I’m sick, can’t get a decent boner, makes any physical activity start off like a chore i don;t wanna do.

  35. avatar
    david | 2 July 2011 at 1:45 am #

    …Posterior minor…aint that a bitch!

  36. avatar
    Stephen | 2 July 2011 at 5:45 am #

    ‘Dear readers, due to a fire at the Ding Dong Lounge, the Melbourne gig has now been moved to The Cherry Bar in ACDC Lane’

    Now that is one quality sentence!

    • avatar
      Muse | 2 July 2011 at 1:49 pm #

      *giggles*

      Fire! Water! …steeeeeeeeeam

      …mists, ferns, rainbows, ‘birds and rocks and things’

      ahhh, all that from Fire. (heh)

  37. avatar
    matthew | 3 July 2011 at 1:16 am #

    Steve, I’m toally in agreement with you about the link between this realm and the spiritual regarding addictive substances. Glad that you’re seeing this.

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 July 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    i like your sense of humor steve. this one seems very funny to me….got me laughing. everything is spirit. we eat, drink, breathe, shit, fuck and fight only spirit. so, yah…i can understand the metaphor of possession by substance. a sort of high-jacking of the brain ect. i think addiction is a co-creation though. its not only the spirit of the substance but its what each person brings to it as well. in the end you’re probably right….its variations of trickery.


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