posted on November 23, 2007 at 3:13 am

kilbey
pumped up on yoga and qi gong
bush bud
ayurvedic aphrodisiacs (semegra forte)
his own pitta nature
by music and art
by a satisfied universe
by the ocean that holds him up
by certain stones
by the hands of a force that sculpts in living flesh
by the scriptures and the kama sutras
by images of the christ and naked women
by the mace
by the conch
by the disc
by the lotus
vishnus own things….
and his many memories
how he did this and avoided that
traffic jams and country lanes
winning an amplifier at cards
losing my head to smack
smacking me round the head
sigh of relief
gasp of horror
yawn of boredom
restlessness
plugging in that bass on a big stage
and the lights in my eyes
and the cymbals cutting right through my brain
everytime i pluck the e-string
the whole fucking theatre shudders
kicking em in the guts way down deep
visceral vibration
my own voice blasts in my ears
a distorted mess above the instruments
sweat
sweat pouring down my body
sweat from exertion
sweat from the heat of the lights
sweat from the glow as my anima assumes control
soaking wet and hoarse and blistered fingers
blasted by the lightshow
deafened by the screaming omnipresent guitars
the guitars which hang around and hang around
the kick drum kicks me on everybeat
the snare traps me
the ride rides me down
the crash crashes in my ears
the toms box my torso
my own bass comes a’running up through the floor
knocking me around
the audience gawking at me
what the fuck are you looking at?
my clothes are sticking to my skin
my eyes so full of salty sweat
the people
such a blur now its a joke
i wanna hammer the bastards with this fender bass
i wanna beat them into submission
i wanna elevate them
i wanna subjugate em
i wanna impress em
and
i really dont care if they like it or not
emotions rip through my mind like wild winds
i detach and think about the shopping list
what the hell does this all s’pose to mean?
what am i doing here?
if theres no god how come theres music?
music is divine, right?
do they think this all happened by accident?
chords and notes
volume and tempo
vibrato and tremelo
harmony and melody
intro and outro
ending and fade
muted and screaming
quiet and allowed
music of the spheres
music of the ancestors
music for love
music for courtesans waiting rooms
music for the sinking continents
underwater music
music made by the dead
spirit music oozing at a seance
dirty music disgusting music
music as played by the seraphim stoned on amnesia
rocknroll baby
elvis with his vicodin and his burgers and his babes
shaking his self around
sheer excess did in his vitality
too much too soon
too little too late
oh his pretty looks…
what happened?
taking care of business, baby
las vegas gomorrah in the desert, honey
hotel rooms and cocaine
guitars and slot machines
sax-o-phones
dealers and dealers
the boys
the good old boys
c’mon doc gimme a fuckin’ percodan
my lifes driving me wild
i learned some karate but i got no discipline
i got everything a man could ask for
but most of it should be refused
everybody adores me
but no one knows me
c’mon doc gimme a dilaudid for godssake
i invented this whole fucking thing, didnt i, doc
oh yes a script , my man
oh doc i cant thank ya enough
i’ll get the boys to getcha some tickets for the show
i’ll see they look after you and your wife
and have a good evening , sir….
later
he stands alone in the dawn
hotel balcony
black woman
white woman
sleep in the bed
he feels the end coming on
like a warm opiated dream
the rushing hurtling end
of all this ……pain
no more applause
no more reluctant quacks
no more peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches
no more uppers n downers n inbetweeners
no more agents n handlers
no more hair dye and diets
no more blow jobs or all night gigs
no more jack daniels and jimmy reed
no more
no more
and
soon
soon

36 Responses to “futures market”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 5:20 am #

    It’s sad to think how shallow Elvis’ existence was

  2. avatar
    Sam Sejavka | 23 November 2007 at 5:38 am #

    Nice post, SK. Space rock exponent scries forward, experiences nostalgia at own death after obeying too many shopping lists?

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 6:37 am #

    I hope you’re this pumped up on Dec16th sk, I’ll be one of those gawking freaks up front, loving every second of sweaty hell you’re going thru up on stage!! Ooooh, dripping wet sk, yes please haha!!
    And yes, YOUR music is divine!
    So, see you in December,
    Luv Amanda

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 6:44 am #

    rock n roll chopin liszt!?…dear ole elvis,what a mess he was.a sad and lonely life of masks and facades,and empty nigghts filled by drugs and desperation.i believe that one has to “perfect” ones wishes before one finds what one truly desires..i think that maybe elvis just wanted to be loved,but obviously didnt love himself enough to ask for the core of his true desires…it happens all too often to the deep hearts of this world.its almost a selfless attempt to take a smaller portion of joy,so as to leave mor of the universal supply of joy for others…..but SK?,i dont think ive ever thought of shopping lists whilst on stage…ive thought about swimming and other worlds,but not shopping lists!!you are funny!;-))..a humid day up here in brizvegas…with a cracker of a storm on the way..the wooden windchimes,and little bells are giving the intro,and the drums ,im sure,are about to begin..have a peaceful evening ,love to you ,and all ye lovely fiends,as always,gen xxxxx p.s. doesnt elvis live with the bellybutton lint man now?im sure they both live in the land of the one sock! 😉

  5. avatar
    don't worry kyoko | 23 November 2007 at 6:49 am #

    ouch

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 7:46 am #

    it’s only rock n roll but we like it.
    PV

  7. avatar
    fantasticandy | 23 November 2007 at 7:52 am #

    oh being,
    respect,
    despite it all.
    the difference of course is
    vision…something you have
    in abundance.
    respectfully yours,
    andy L.

  8. avatar
    Sam Sejavka | 23 November 2007 at 9:48 am #

    Also quite a storm in North Stradvegas Island. Is it an omen? A … good omen?

  9. avatar
    nicker | 23 November 2007 at 10:07 am #

    he never gets tired of talking about himself does he?

  10. avatar
    lily was here | 23 November 2007 at 12:34 pm #

    Elvis..beautiful man, ugly death. Michael H, beautiful waste. Jim, Jimi, Janis, Brian, Kurt // and then there’s Mick, ugly but alive and still getting bjs. You chose the hardest battle SK. Saved by a moment of absolute clarity? a sign?.. admitting beautiful defeat after staring down the devil. Thank god for that.

    x

  11. avatar
    matthew | 23 November 2007 at 12:35 pm #

    Gosh Steve, the Elvis bit was so very poignant… having read quite a lot… yeah that touched some emotions. Thanks a lot.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 12:45 pm #

    I especially liked how vividly you depiced Elvis at a stage in his life and career, when everything was just business as usual or “too much too soon”. Reminded me of this great biography “Dino: Living High In The Dirty Business Of Dreams”.

    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark.

  13. avatar
    soulless bore | 23 November 2007 at 12:51 pm #

    ex oblivione
    ad oblivione

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 1:00 pm #

    Steve, what’s your view on the Buddhist ideal of removing yourself altogether from the process of incarnation?

  15. avatar
    daniel12 | 23 November 2007 at 1:30 pm #

    So sad the demise of Elvis.
    Surrounded by sycopants yesmen and goons. Body polluted with drugs n bad food.
    Told only what he wanted to hear but not what he needed to be told.
    Everything and nothing,celebrity so great it was inescapable. (without faking your own death.)
    I’ve read that In his last days the books he read were mostly to do with the metaphysical.
    Along with numerology,astrology,native indian religion etc etc, anything offering meaning.
    It’s like he was looking for something he couldn’t find.
    Every guru a profiteering quack.
    Apparently he spent a fortune giving trucks to poor looking stangers.
    For a southern country boy a truck was the ultimate practical gift. Perhaps he was also trying to reach out to someone real.
    It makes my heart ache.

    Elvis RIP

    Kilby Rock with the Divinyls.

  16. avatar
    nickfiction | 23 November 2007 at 2:04 pm #

    I heard that crazy Elvis used to lie naked in shit on his white couches, that nutty guy. SEE? sk , that’s what riches will get ya……

  17. avatar
    restaurant mark | 23 November 2007 at 2:20 pm #

    what a sad path elvis took…great comment sue! mick’s probably gotta contract somewhere that guarantees he gets the most blowjobs…or else! keith probably still gets them, but…he doesn’t really know it???

    take care

    mark

  18. avatar
    tosser | 23 November 2007 at 2:36 pm #

    I’ve never come from a blow job.

  19. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 23 November 2007 at 3:08 pm #

    Another illuminating, thoughful and evocative SK blog. I sometimes ruminate about the early deaths of talented rock stars that were not as famous as Elvis, Morrison, Joplin, Hendrix, Lennon and Cobain. I’m alluding to Nick Drake, Phil Ochs, Pete Ham, Tim Buckley, Tim Hardin, Andrew Wood(Mother Lovebone later turned into Pearl Jam, Phil Lynott and Graham Parsons.

  20. avatar
    sorry brien | 23 November 2007 at 3:22 pm #

    I have zero interest in dead rock stars. The myth does nothing for me. Big wow.

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 3:34 pm #

    same old spoiled blog luxuries and nebulous cares…should call this BLAHG…………………………………………………………………….total ellipse of the Son…you mocked me, spit on me, called me envious, told me to leave, set your mob on me, called me an idiot, whatever…just dropping by again to show my aghast disappointment…to hell with all you coat-tailers…you also were never my friends, or had kind words or support….like minions to a dictator….And you’ve dissed Texas while you were here or further away..and your fans too….so right back at ya BAD SPOILED KARMA…never did practice what you preached….USE THIS APPROPRIATELY….MEDICINE OR POISON???? BLACK HEART ~!~ ~*~ I never needed any of your support…goodbye cruel kilbey and cronies and pets….say what you like…it’ll be weak and and fall to the dead and fallow ground.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 3:37 pm #

    good blog kilbey

  23. avatar
    oops! | 23 November 2007 at 4:47 pm #

    Anon 2.34
    Steve called ME the idiot cos I put 2 a’s in Karin’s name.
    You might be the one he called pest for calling him on ‘catechism’, but unfortunately it was me who inadvertantly caused him to chuck a William. When there was talk of changing the photo I said use that old passport-type photo from Unearthed – the one that he’d cut Donnette out of. Another commenter put the boot in cos they thought I was being twatty (& cos I missed an ‘n’ out of her name) and Steve went off on one later thinking I’d only mentioned it to ‘irk’ him.
    Misfires all round but there, y’go. But I was the idiot, not you – you’ve probably said all that at 2.34 for nothing!

  24. avatar
    knot | 23 November 2007 at 4:59 pm #

    “whipping up a magical breakfast just like that”

    Mr. Kilbey. Please do come by sometime. People are hungry here.

  25. avatar
    fantasticandy | 23 November 2007 at 5:55 pm #

    hey annons……
    i’m here coz i like the guy…ok?
    what’s wrong with that?
    stop ‘beating around the bush’.
    cut the coded crap and ‘bite the bullet’.
    i say WHATEVER I LIKE on here…
    have i ever been censored?
    no….never….and i can be one scathing bastard.
    steve ‘n i had a ‘falling out’ some time back.
    i ‘aint the chairman of prime-minister kilbo’s cabinet fer nothin’!
    have i been banned, blocked or booted?
    chastised in any way whatsoever?
    nevets can take it on the chin…big style….i should know iv’e taken a swipe myself.
    yet here i am…i find myself drawn here day in, day out..because
    the quality of the writing is superb.
    the truthfulness in steve’s work is very powerful, sometimes amusing, often touching and on occasion rather disturbing!
    but it all comes from the heart.
    it’s not contrived…it just pours out…one dat tight and focussed, the next obtuse, even rambling…yet ALWAYS the best read of the day.

    do you spiteful annon sods want a written apology?
    i don’t know what it is/was he’s
    done/not done to you, but i feel nothing will ever appease you.
    oh…iv’e had enough of the niceties……why don’t you venomous vermin go and infest a place more suitable for creatures such as you?
    how about the gossip pages of some gutter-rag/sleaze-trash rag targeted at empty-headed, consumer-culture brainwashed, voyuristic morons?
    i’m sure that there, you would find a more appreciative audience!
    phew!
    andy L.

    p.s.what’s your comback moron…….
    ‘oh that’s no good no-one wants to read about washed-up ol’……..JUST FUCK OFF..YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO BORING!

  26. avatar
    fantasticandy | 23 November 2007 at 5:56 pm #

    sorry for being so crude.
    love to all,
    andy L.

  27. avatar
    JONNY NOT YET SO HOLLYWOODISH | 23 November 2007 at 7:28 pm #

    write on dude of Neptune, you tell ’em Andy…
    Jonny

  28. avatar
    davem | 23 November 2007 at 8:27 pm #

    You’re so right about the bass SK.
    Not noticing you sneak on early at Brighton and then hearing Saturation and that gorgeous Fender Jazz resonating. Yum.
    Oh, boy…..the highlight of 2007 by miles. We effing miss you. Come back in 08?
    xx
    PS Have a good weekend all. Calm down Andy my great mate…it’s Friday night old chap. Raising a glass to all fellow fiends across the globe and especially to you Esskay.

  29. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 23 November 2007 at 9:45 pm #

    I can’t forget the sad demise of Billy Mackenzie, the late lead vocalist of the Associates. He had a frenzied opera voice. He intentionally ? overdosed after hearing about the death of his beloved mother. He raised whippets (greyhound like dogs) and they were his exclusive companions in his waning days.

    SK did a great job via producing Mae Moore’s Bohemia CD. They had some tensions but the CD was and is her finest. They also had mutual respect. She’s an overlooked Canadian vocalist with a wonderfuly smooth voice.

  30. avatar
    steve kilbey | 23 November 2007 at 10:09 pm #

    the passport photo on unearthed was taken in 1982
    a 2 good years before i even met d.t.
    if ya gonna fuckin’ meddle in someones life, anon
    why dontcha getcha facts straight first
    kil-bee

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 November 2007 at 10:34 pm #

    I agree with andyL, if you dont like what you’re reading…..FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Happy election day sk, I know you must be lovin’ it..NOT!
    Love Amanda

  32. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 November 2007 at 1:02 am #

    very poignant read today, steve. the tragedy of so much lost talent.

    *********
    to andyL: i hate to fuss at you, but here goes: please don’t let the assholes get to you. you have a bad heart, and i would hate to see anything happen to you. it’s a merry-go-round with those idiots, and i for one didn’t want to ride anymore, so i stepped off it long ago by just not reading their comment. and steve’s right~~they have no idea what they are kvetching about. shit-stirrers never know about what they’re trying to stir, LOL.

    remember~~know-it-alls are an oxymoron. they don’t know jackshit. (note the word “moron” in that one…) and the morons here are hypocrites. they claim to hate what steve writes, but they still keep coming back for more. **scratching my head**

    just do as i do~~don’t read the trash they write, and you’ll feel much betta…. 🙂

  33. avatar
    daniel12 | 24 November 2007 at 1:02 am #

    Hi Brian 8.45

    Your quite into dead rock stars arn’t you. You’ve brought up Billy Macenzie a couple of times but i guess to most people he’s utterly forgotten.
    I remember him though, Beautifull voice, dapper suits.
    A friend of mine was actually the drummer for the Assosiates for a while. He spoke quite highly of Billy. He was very upset when he died but he had some insights to what might have contributed to Billys drastic exit.
    The Assosiates were quite big for a while. They had two hit british albums and Billy lived the life.
    But in Billys case instead of Sex n Drugs etc it was more dapper suits , new shoes, chauffers and a full time minder for the dogs.
    Despite his success he lived on huge record company advances that eventually didn’t recoup.
    My freind bailed before it went pear shaped but he doubted Billy would have coped well with the ordinary world. I guess some people just arnt made for it. That otherworldly quality Billy had to his voice suggests he was one of them. That track he did with Yello was my favorite.

  34. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 24 November 2007 at 1:29 am #

    Thanks for the insights daniel 12. I’m not obsessed with dead rock stars. I just have empathy for extremely talented and overlooked rock musicians and vocalists that did not get recognized for their talent. Nick Drake is the perfect example. NOBODY purchased his incomparable music when he was in life. Who could blame him for taking so many antidepressants. His suicide could have been an accidental overdose. Billy Mackenzie’s last ten years had no commercial success. It was also a period of his greatest music “Wild And Lonely, “Beyond The Sun” “The Glamour Chase”). Anybody that loves their mother and has more four-legged friends than two-legged friends merits empathy.

    Sorry for so many comments SK!!

    Peace !!

  35. avatar
    knot me | 24 November 2007 at 7:47 am #

    here:

    clairvoyant, eyeless
    drinking in sandstone clay
    old circles of bears
    you could have the stars and wind
    I caught
    if you would step outside

    my rape the harvest
    chaparral so to return where I
    had lain
    now cut, this I can
    never declare
    beyond firepoppy corpse light
    sulfur bathed, yet I do not
    drown
    reborn and stamped with inks
    lines that hover between heaven
    and earth

    you lower a magazine
    your eyes filled with
    the gray blue green leaves more
    that early that I once wore

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 November 2007 at 1:41 pm #

    Gotta say I also thought the photo on Unearthed was from the same set that Donnette Thayer uses, where she’s got a big smile and is wearing a beret-type hat!


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.