posted on September 9, 2008 at 9:00 pm

an incredible gang of criminals assembled by a mastermind
to pull off a heist
a caper
a crime so big ,no one even thought it possible:
to kill pain
thats correct
the end of pain as we know it
the destruction of ache
the nullification of agony
bringing only sweet pleasure
the master mind is none other than
you guessed it
suave debonair sophistiquated
dapper dan and gentleman jiminy
steve kilbey as george cluey
aka the killer
the big doeppler
captain bly
sonic anathema
dim receiver
wanted for poncing about in 6 territories
+ an unspeakable state
billy the kidder
finally coming good
just in time for the curtains
walk on thru the wind
walk on thru the rain
a riverbank job
the wilde times
spring is hear
when the moon is in the seventh house
and the seventh house is down the end o’ my street
and my street loops round the bay
and youre flying along to your job
and your car cruises past the cenotaph
and you skirt around another crash
you reach forward
you pop something in your mouth
you pop something in the cd player
immediately it starts up
the throbbing headache turn to throbbing bass
turn it up you fool
as you go screaming thru wednesday morning 4 am
alone on the M5
or the A1
or the auto bahn bahn bahn
or route 666
or accelerating down wall street like a daemon
your manicured fingles reach out
you fiddling with the volume
up up up up up it goes
the fuckin’ needles in the red
but up goes the vol
you hit tone…hard
the bass the bass
you swoop into the graphic curve
and you draw a mountain where the bass frequencies lie
suddenly the bass is driving your hart
suddenly you achieve a vulcan mind meld
kilbey coming in
are you kilbey now?
are you a kilbey?
i am i am iam iam
i am steven kilbey
all of you…?
i am kilbey
i am kilbey
i am i am i am
kilbey is driving this car now
you have unleashed kilbey in your tiny mind
and boy its hard to fit all my stuff in here
kilbeys first act as co pilot is to throttle the car
he rips off your tie or your brassiere or your truss or your braces
he undoes all the straps
he flicks every fuckin’ button in yer car ON
he hits overstellar interdrive
a sub atomic lothario
the flying lounge lizard acceleratin’ up neptune parade
i bounce off vespas and mo-peds
kilbey do you have a lie-sense…?
kilbey please reduce speed now
kilbey go back
fuck em if they cant take a joke
kilbey…oh no… are you intoxicated..?
fuck no…oh you mean this…dont worry, its herbal
no kilbey thats fungal
kilbey is that peyote?
kilbey is that toluol?
kilbey is that marlybone jelly made from electric heels?
kilbey you swerving all over this cosmic road
kilbey somehow the bass guitar is guided by larks voices
somehow in a parallel mirror-verse where blah blah blah..
and kilbey does rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb
and elrond hubbard goes to the cupboard
and finds tom cruise mistle toes
and arthur rimbaud and ricki maymi walk into an opium den
and the baby wakes up in the back seat screaming
and tim powles is sitting in a tree in samoa
we want samoa singalong the crowd
a drone starts up
a proper eastern ragini bone moan drone
and a radio tunes into some weird armenian malarkey man
like byzantine harry flowers in powys square
jagger holds a fucking gun to my head
i dont know where youre going..i say to turner
yes you do…says turner
or fox
arthur rimbaud who says
hey ricki buy me another fuckin’ absinthe
and tom verlaine who has nothing to do with this
i invoke the greats and hope it rubs off on me….
….does it work….?
meanwhile back in sydney
i morosely evaporate in a black whole
in a black mood
in a grey land
its king harvest again
in the dead sand
i watch over you all from the afterlife
i am a fake fakir
i am voodini
i am rumpled stiltskin
i,m drivin’ your car to work
i sling it round the corners
i gun it up the lanes and by ways
my way or the highwayman i did it my way
an empty plastic baggie
the residue of joy dust
the traces of angelfruit
the glory of datura demon
hammerhead it
jack knifed jill
jill jilted and then tilted
jilly morning in spring
this is an automatically generated message
please do not respond
normal viewing will soon be
slam honour breaks
pullup in the drive
jump out
flick the keys to the frickin’ concierge
here baby you park that sonna fabitch
you stride up the corridor
you see your boss
hey boss you say in yer new kilbey accent
sneering anglo aussie lingo
hey you know some big words now
hey boss yer so lugubrious man….
yeah good morning to you too
you sit at yer desk
you pick up the morning paper
and taking your black pen
you chuckle as you draw mustaches on kylie minogre
and hilary cliton
fuck em if they cant take a joke…eh?
eh? or what?
fuck yeah
in spades, baybee
hey yer gettin’ the hang of it now
switch on yer computer
type in those co ordinates
sk @ blah blah
hey look
we rate number 27 in the whole fuckin’ world
and you
you baybee
you just wrote this whole fuckin bastard blog
and with swearing and everything
go on
use another big word
you got it
you kilbey
you go girl
or bouy
you show em
smash it up
send kilbey all your money
after all you are me now
go on
thats it
put all your money in yer paypal
go on
its ok
we are now one
this is you writing this
take all that dough
and send it to the ttbs honestly box
thats it
hit yes
hit yes
oh doesnt that feel good
now switch off the computer
go and sit in a park
and read mervyn peake….
await further instructions

36 Responses to “glad snap lock walla walla bing bang”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 September 2008 at 10:17 pm #

    ah dahlings, if you cant be in the ether tonite, you might enjoy a little painkiller rehearsal


  2. avatar
    veleska1970 | 9 September 2008 at 10:30 pm #

    “go on
    use another big word
    **doubled over laughing** you crack me up, steve.

    sorry, i won’t be able to hit the “paypal” button for a while. i have too much expense going on right now. maybe soon…

    lotza love…..

  3. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 9 September 2008 at 10:32 pm #

    can’t wait to turn up the bass…throb throb throb…
    love always…

  4. avatar
    the dean | 9 September 2008 at 10:39 pm #

    I’m taking the trip from the outer sticks to be there tonight.
    haven’t heard a note of the painkiller(well, one note, a Znatural I believe) ears primed, mind clear.

  5. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 9 September 2008 at 10:48 pm #

    painkiller is like more killer pain i have to endure…

  6. avatar
    princey | 9 September 2008 at 10:57 pm #

    Thanks anon uptop, WOW it sounds fantastic and that's just 1.29mins, imagine 2+ hours live!! and they're doing S******* & E.H.G.S. You lucky Sydney bastards!!!!

    If this blog today is anything to go by, tonight is gonna be hot, hot, hot!!!! Have a fab gig tonight sk and all lucky fiends going, I'll be thinking of you all. (I'll go wipe my streaming eyes now..sob)
    Love Amanda
    P.S. apologies for all the sooking sk, but it's a-hurtin'!!!

  7. avatar
    isolde | 9 September 2008 at 11:05 pm #

    oooh yeah i’m all a sssshiver with anticipaination

  8. avatar
    Richard | 9 September 2008 at 11:26 pm #



    sounds good

  9. avatar
    matt davison | 9 September 2008 at 11:27 pm #

    Grrrrrr Why did I leave Australia???

    Ricki tel Killbee to bring painkiller to Auckland

    Shanks Ring Killer…….

  10. avatar
    matt davison | 9 September 2008 at 11:51 pm #

    Oh well at least I am off to the APRA Silver scrolls 2 NITE…

    p foundation
    -all while killer takes the pain from sydnee…Arrr Man I was too busy to really take in the gigs last time…Filming, selling dvds and poetry AND ALL THAT MALARKY…

    Beem me up scot

    take me to painkiller


  11. avatar
    captain mission | 10 September 2008 at 12:49 am #

    well its no coincidence that the super massive particle accelerator will be switched on today and I’ll be down the front getting a load of painkiller at the exact moment when the boffins manifest a black hole that sucks the universe into it. but what a great way to exit. perfecto. see you on the other side 🙂

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 September 2008 at 1:17 am #

    black hole and no PAINKILLER IN MY LIFE……………..WTF…

  13. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 10 September 2008 at 1:31 am #

    Manic Kilbey and Painkiller mania are inundating this blog. Lucky fans will invariably dig the live gig!

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 September 2008 at 2:02 am #

    Ho wdo you have all of that space in your mind. Brilliant!

  15. avatar
    flyingbird | 10 September 2008 at 4:31 am #

    Have a Great show, killer.

  16. avatar
    matt davison | 10 September 2008 at 4:38 am #




    Have a great show……………………………………………………………………..

  17. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 10 September 2008 at 5:35 am #

    “i invoke the greats and hope it rubs off on me….
    ….does it work….?”



    is a killer bassline
    to a transcendent tune

    or Cosmic Play?

  18. avatar
    fantasticandy | 10 September 2008 at 7:52 am #

    have a great night!

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 September 2008 at 7:52 am #

    Keep this fandorin idiot away from the womb…come on it takes away the mojo seeing the master with a bunch of hacks (sans TimEBandit of course).

  20. avatar
    lily was here | 10 September 2008 at 9:21 am #

    You are, you are, you are

    They better strap on their seatbelts for tonite's ryde, the lucky pilgrims! Sydney late tonite will be awash with strange floating apparitions making their way home from Darlinghurst, free from pain, lips curled up at the side, and eyes like Clint Eastwood when he says 'make my day'.
    Lucky isolde & co.

    ps that last youtube clip of you all chiming with Carly Simon .. No Secrets? was hypnotic. Ricky M swaying on guitar in the background and William B making electronic magic. A full clip of that, with you and Tim, in full view,

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 September 2008 at 10:09 am #

    the storm is beautiful….dance in the rain,….lightning to your veins,n fire to the soul…have a cracker of a gig SK.xo 🙂

  22. avatar
    eek | 10 September 2008 at 10:30 am #

    Damned cool blog today. I approve!

    Hope the gig is going well. I’ll be anxious to hear all about it.

  23. avatar
    melissa | 10 September 2008 at 10:50 am #

    Looking forward to hearing all about the show tonight … hope all the lucky folks attending have a brilliant time 🙂 … wish I could be there!!


  24. avatar
    Maymi = no sale | 10 September 2008 at 11:43 am #

    I’m boycotting Painkiller if Maymi is involved. He’s too aggressive. He can’t take a joke and wants to fight at the slightest thing he takes offense to. How does this attitude and behaviour fit in with your ideals of love and harmony, Steven?

  25. avatar
    andre breton | 10 September 2008 at 12:17 pm #

    Rimbaud was a gun-runner, y’know…

  26. avatar
    davem | 10 September 2008 at 12:26 pm #

    Go get ’em killer.
    You have the Archbishop’s permission to slay ’em in the painkiller spirit.
    9.43?? Ricky’s a splendid chap.

    Did other fiends receive the EMC week 9 e-mail? Painkiller packs in the post soon!!!

  27. avatar
    don joe | 10 September 2008 at 12:29 pm #

    you patronizing sonofa….

    Oh so un-great-full of shhhhhhhhhhhugar killer bee sting me pain kikker stain likker like me time trippa…gooblee gook n malarkey throw a shrimp on the barbie doll stol mah five star caviar blah de bloody blah blah

    I blame pay pal for none of what you got from me. refuse they will to assist the transference of quasmal dollar amounts yonder my boundries and into your playground… poor Yorick, kill the pain-killer.

    don joe

  28. avatar
    kat | 10 September 2008 at 12:59 pm #


    i didn’t get that email? i can’t wait for the full rx of painkiller tho.

    i am sure they are rockin’ it down at the show. i’d love to meet every one of you fiends there. (except for the mean anons) but i’m too far away. famous last words.

  29. avatar
    davem | 10 September 2008 at 1:16 pm #

    Kat – text didn’t get rhough.


  30. avatar
    heather | 10 September 2008 at 1:23 pm #

    thanks “anon” 8:17

    I bet “Done Deal” goes off/is going off/has gone off tonight!

    avagoodone; take off the silencer boys!


  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 September 2008 at 1:55 pm #

    Who the fuck is Rick Maymi?

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 September 2008 at 2:23 pm #

    your delete key is broken again, right?

  33. avatar
    Jen Jewel Brown | 10 September 2008 at 3:07 pm #

    ow, ow, ow ….. ow. Love to Elektra. If only I could take some of her pain, I would.

  34. avatar
    Cee | 10 September 2008 at 5:51 pm #

    You and Maymi need to come to SF and do my show before I pull the plug! The end is near.

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 September 2008 at 6:09 pm #

    a handsome,graceful kookaburra,sat perched on my rail.his head solemnly tucked at a bow.whispered to a jazz toon”hey,Spirit!It’s Alright .”painkiller, n a smashing evening was had by all!!:D seems the black hole being created in the north,actually does eat dark n negative must have been hungry.universal ,cosmic,divine bassy love to my world and yours,forever.x

  36. avatar
    restaurant mark | 10 September 2008 at 9:48 pm #

    great blog today. very snappy! hey everyone…out of town working, just got the internet going…finally. miss my wife and kids…be home in 2 days though. can’t wait to hear about the gig…i’m sure it’ll be amazing! come on…steve…a couple of shows in america…atlanta would be good…it’s nice here in fall! can’t hurt to ask right? anyway…gotta get some dinner.

    take care everyone

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