posted on March 14, 2006 at 2:26 am

elisabeth bursts into my dressing room
whoops sorry…hey, it smells goode in here bouys…
mind if i pull up a throne?

the chchru look around between themselves
were havin a bizness meeting actually..

elisabeth frowns
give us a toke and i’ll piss off
she undoes a crown lager with her cigarette lighter

i hand her my spliff
which is a blend of gippsland organic
and some bondi junction hydro

i didnt know ya smoked i exhaled

yeah yeah sure sure
but i get so fucking bored at all these ceremonies
what else is here to do?
john lennon got me started…
any way my great granny vickie smoked like a fiend
for her periods and that kinda thing..
stoned periods more like…

she coughs a bit
i hate the way you bloody aussies
do it without tobacco

tp looks up
so beggars can be choosers?
with his damaged nose he looks menacing

sorry boys
i didnae mean it to sound like a complaint
she stands up
straightens her frock
and kicks her corgi up the arse
come on you little bastard
oooohhhh hes such a lazy little sod

she leaves
before we have a chance to say anything at all
she pokes her head round the door again
her eyes by now red and rolling
mums the word allright?
she taps her nose and gives us a wink

ten minutes later a knock at the door
a tall elderly gent
sorry to interrupt olde bean but…

yeah yeah i say
cmon in

after phil has toked up
he takes me aside
no chance of any of that he says
touching his right nostril
and grinning

you gotta go down the athletes village for that

he laughs and departs
oh one last thing boys
mums the word….ok?

sure you olde regent
except fer mah bloggy


28 Responses to “gloria regina ad absurdum”

  1. avatar
    eek | 14 March 2006 at 2:57 am #

    I knew we could count on you for the REAL story!

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 2:59 am #

    i knew it
    god saved the queen

  3. avatar
    me | 14 March 2006 at 3:00 am #

    fuck that was funny
    always love your slant

  4. avatar
    Old Gerky | 14 March 2006 at 3:30 am #

    Steven the Queen sets you free.
    Don’t make fun of the Monarchy or you’ll be bloody sorry.
    And another thing say you had four t-shirts, no make that three, no four and you sold them to the Royals , no the athletes….
    Never Bloody Mind.

  5. avatar
    pjm | 14 March 2006 at 3:39 am #

    Hah. Finally figured out where you lot are. Not really on the radar screen in the States, unless you have somewhat out-of-the-ordinary interests…

    Break a leg?

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 3:43 am #

    Who’s replacing Freddie Mercury?

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 4:38 am #

    so wish i could’ve
    joined you
    Lissie, Phil and
    the boys for your
    business meeting.
    sounds perfectly

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 5:16 am #



  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 7:34 am #

    Mr. K
    it’s too bad you’re far away
    green tones
    are missing
    it’s cold in here
    in my space
    i am working on a little short
    for film school
    no dialogue
    the title is
    about a boy out of touch
    the city is another world
    the boy is confused
    all he knows
    a globe
    and some snow
    transport him
    to another reality
    life in the neo lace
    I have lyrics for the passing
    how about some bass
    shoes for the student hands
    music for a film
    one part church
    one part Jaw

    Another song in space
    for the believers

    I could send you lyrics
    for the closing
    I would love if you could lend an ear
    over the phone
    over the web
    music for a space drama-comedy

    if you have any interest in the

    out of place

    let me know
    I am here

    my number is available if you have any interest in collaborating on the music for my short film
    it would do your body good
    a light in the eyes for the seekers

    I am Jaw
    I will give you my number if you are interested.


    the idyll hands

  10. avatar
    sue cee | 14 March 2006 at 9:14 am #

    my eyes were red and rolling from laughter! Holy moly, look out or we’ll soon be seeing SIR Steven Kilbey up in lights.. and I always wondered what Lizzy might’ve carried in that handbag!

  11. avatar
    Rubikon | 14 March 2006 at 9:20 am #

    Arise Sir Kilbey

  12. avatar
    By George | 14 March 2006 at 11:16 am #

    “Hi” said the Queenie
    “Yes I am” said the Steven
    “Hi” said the Phillipe
    “Yes we are” said the Churchies

    “Any chance of that” says the Phillipe
    touching his nose
    “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know”
    said the Churchies

    Haha haha hahaha

  13. avatar
    Daberhasher | 14 March 2006 at 12:13 pm #

    bloody fucking hilarious…
    the blogs from the road
    have a different electricity…
    a crackle as it were…
    you’ve lit up my morning…
    thanks as always…

    aloha from Maine,
    where it’s green again…
    ….oh the seedy brambles
    this winter has proffered…
    non sense…
    and the water…
    wicked cold, yessir…
    although we call it bracing…

    honeysmoke, sinking up, up ,up…


  14. avatar
    Andromeda 7 | 14 March 2006 at 12:16 pm #

    looking forward to tomorrow nite when all the little girlies will sirl around with their space lights blinking and all the keyboards will swirl and it will be a blast so remember, we’re with you, don’t be lonely lovely one…

  15. avatar
    Andromeda 7 | 14 March 2006 at 12:16 pm #

    looking forward to tomorrow nite when all the little girlies will sirl around with their space lights blinking and all the keyboards will swirl and it will be a blast so remember, we’re with you, don’t be lonely lovely one…

  16. avatar
    captainmission | 14 March 2006 at 1:28 pm #

    And did those feet in sporty times
    Walk upon Victorias mountains green?
    And was the holy spliff of steve
    On Melbournes pleasant pastures seen?

    And did the Countenance Divine
    Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
    And was the band stoned here
    on grass and not on pills?

    Bring me my quarter of burning gold;
    Bring me my papers of desire;
    Bring me my roach; O Marty and Peter, unfold!
    and Tim pass the lighter!

    I will not cease from mental fight,
    Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand,
    Till we have smoked another spliff
    In Melbournes green and pleasant land.

    sir steve – thanks for making me smile

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 1:55 pm #

    Get one of your gold albums out, put on chain on and wear it around.
    If anyone asks say, thats not a gold medal this is a gold medal.

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 3:36 pm #

    Tickets are going quickly!
    $420.00 – $590.00

  19. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 14 March 2006 at 3:41 pm #

    Is Karak the mascot going to share the stage?

  20. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 14 March 2006 at 4:55 pm #

    This is going to be streamed somewhere on the inter-web right?…riiiight?!

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 March 2006 at 7:37 pm #

    Turn of your mind relax and float upstream
    its just a meeting
    yur mind needs weeding

    Jam on Iglesia

  22. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 14 March 2006 at 7:42 pm #

    1am pacific standard time…me lo voy a perder!

  23. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 14 March 2006 at 8:27 pm #

    Hmm thanks so much, but do ya got a website URL fer a video of the ceremonies? I can’t find anything on the dang Games’ website. However it is a pretty shade of turqoise, that site.

  24. avatar
    matt davison | 14 March 2006 at 9:07 pm #

    Rather have a cone with Howard
    qweenie is a nice lady, done some goodin da world.

    i like our qweenie SK AT LEAST SHE LIKES MARMALADE.


  25. avatar
    sue cee | 14 March 2006 at 10:08 pm #

    St Even .. I like that one

    Krissy – possibly

  26. avatar
    OTTOMT | 14 March 2006 at 10:59 pm #

    I sent you a pm

  27. avatar
    Rehan | 15 March 2006 at 10:37 am #

    Does this mean that we can expect to see “Queen awards OBE to the Church! Members of the band toke up in an ante-room before the official ceremony just like JohnPaulGeorgeandThingy all those years ago ” headlines in the press?

  28. avatar
    oldchurchfan | 15 March 2006 at 12:41 pm #

    Hey esskay,

    I’m from melbourne. Drop by and visit me why don’t ya. I can’t believe I’m so close to the ‘man’.

    my son(who is 3)knows when I’m listening to “daddy’s music’ when i listen to the church.

    I’m no bohemian, a little odd at times but more improtantly just an old church fan who is excited by the new album.

    Hmmm. Interesting version of UTMW at the Comm games. Saw only the end of it

    11 haliday court g/b 3088

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