posted on April 3, 2009 at 8:10 pm

very keen to disarrange his mind
kilbey plunged into the world of the illegal drugs
he quickly became friends with marijuana cannabis and hemp
(a legal firm : marijuana, cannabis and hemp)
he’d tried drinking
and frankly
it gave up no visions
it made him feel sick
but of marijuana he quickly became an intimate aquaintance
and sampled it in all its forms
the thirty dollar deal of homegrown leaf
the primo buddha sticks
hashish made from the pollen of the flowering heads
hash oil extracted from hash
hydroponic grown under lights
sativa n indica the two varieties
hash ice from a cold extraction process
maui wowie
white widow
northern lights
you name it
i had it
i smoked it
i inhaled it
i ingested it
and its somewhere behind virtually every single song of mine
that you ever heard
pot was put here as a blessing for the musicians n writers
who find it helps get things going
i been doing it nearly 40 years
it cant be THAT bad for ya
its not that good for ya i’m sure
but it cant be that bad
the western govts have outlawed this drug unfairly
its a travesty
my friend is still in jail because he dared have too much in his garden
the government has said
this plant is so evil
so bad for you
that we will lock you up
for yer own protection….
yeah right
thanks idiots
what a pathetic world
my mate in jail
n george bush free….HA!
kilbey then tried the hallucinogens
lsd which can be highly elevating
or deeply distressing
i never liked the strychnine in the stomach feeling much
i didnt like how it kept you awake after it wore off
i liked the meaningfulness i found in it
i liked the way it helped me perceive that all was one
that it was all connected
i liked the way it made me reinterpret music and art
i liked the special feeling it gave me like i was in the know
then kilbey had mushrooms
which were like a gentler more natural lsd
they put a big grin on yer face
i tried dmt (not that long ago i 1st had it)
thats something else again
its a huge information download
its a message from yer fucking sponsor
its the aliens talking to us
its a new mathematical/art pyramid
revolving in yer head suggesting aesthetic solutions
then theres the san pedro cactus
which is mescaline, baby
oh my oh my
that one is wild and weird
and its actually good for yer heart n bloodpressure, fair dinkum
this is a total trip so dont go down the disco
you can buy san pedros anywhere
so buy one
get online n read preparation instructions
visit some other south american magic realistic uni-verse
i also smoked diviner sage
which i do not recommend
it made me feel weird for days
i did not enjoy its weird revelations
it had no art or music for me
i smoked angel dust…horrible
i smoked ice….now thats a warm nice n dangerous feeling
yeah ice is like smack in that
its not a spectacular feeling
but just a very subtle warm detachment
if you hate yerself its a very attractive feeling
of course
just like smack
when you dont have it
everything you hated about yerself
will be multiplied a thousand fold
so it gives a little
but it takes a lot
ive snorted n shot amphetamines too
once again not an outrageous drug like mescaline
you feel alert talkative benevolent…at first
if you keep going you end up fried like an olde egg
but if you had a snort every now n then
(and could keep it to that)
it wouldnt really do you any harm
speed makes me horny
like ecstasy does too
as does cocaine
(giving the desire but sometimes removing the wherewithal)
cocaine is a complex n highly addictive drug
i snorted it
i free based it
i smoked it as crack
i shot it up
its subtle
its so dangerous
the best stuff is so delicious
the bad stuff is so fucking bad
either way
if you have too much
say goodbye to your creativity
itll flee ya baby
never to return
it dont mix with my music
it dont mix with my creativity
it dont enhance my enjoyment of music
but it makes ya horny
(yesterdays quote from nk : yoga makes me horny
i say : does it?
her (after some thought) : everything makes me horny)
ooh cocaine ‘ll destroy ya in ways you never imagined
and i never was addicted to it
but i certainly have been n could be again obsessed with it
if you had the good stuff n it didnt make you obsessed…..
i wonder…
but it wont write a song for ya like pot or acid
and its really very nasty stuff
it fucked marco boleyns creativity and TOTALLY!
if only you had a little time lapse dispenser
that could give you a tiny line once in a blue moon
but i doubt youll be able to control yerself…
lab rats will choose cocaine over food n horny she-rats
they will suffer running over electric currents to get to it
if allowed they’ll snort emselves to death
so beware all you rats
then we have a weird drug like ketamine
neither pleasant or unpleasant
ketamine kicks ya into the astral plane
and its very hard to describe it
not a lotta fun
but possible inspiration
if you wanna think on another level
i wouldnt really care to do it again myself
laughing gas which i love
n wouldnt mind trying some more
i get it at the dentist
but he never turns it up enough
the reveries are strange n fleeting
ayahuasca..the vine…
only did it once
not really qualified to say much but wow!
could be the big one
the really inspiring one
stay tuned!
the opiates are problematical drugs
ive had opium morphine heroin methadone oxy contin
bupa norphene (however you spell it)
i tell ya this
they will all fuck you beyond belief
they will not make you horny
they will not give you savoir-faire
but if you dare
in the honeymoon stage of opiates
you may find some groovy inspiration
but look what happened to me
although priest =aura was my opium album
i just became a very boring junky
and all junkies are boring
and methadone is real rubbish
really bad for ya
much worse than smack
a million times harder to get off of
kava kava is a pleasant dreamy drug
guarana is interesting in higher doses
caffeine can be nice or nasty
nicotine is a niggly little drug
being straight can be great
being stoned can be groovy
it aint a legal issue
maybe a health or moral issue
but not a legal issue
no more than sexuality should be a legal issue
i resent the millions of men n women locked up for drugs
one day in the future
this will be perceived as barbarism
just like the way we treat animals
but its hard to break out of old paradigms of thought
some people would rather have a gun owner next door
than a pot smoker
some people think breast feeding in public is obscene
some people think its ok to drop smart bombs on dumb civilians
specially if they live far away n arent white or speaka da english
the drug laws create the crime associated with drugs
just like prohibition created crime with alcohol
remove them n you remove crime
let drugs be a medical issue
let people decide for themselves
like they do with food
i mean obesity kills more people than smack
by a long shot
but i dont see em making big macs or kfc illegal soon
i dont see em making wars illegal soon
but they take away one of mankinds consolations
to change ones consciousness
searching for inspiration
searching for answers
searching for oblivion
searching for another take another view
bullshit thats not my right!
god made a mistake when he made the poppy or the vine?
marijuana is an implicitly evil thing n should be eradicated?
people taking ecstasy should be arrested n slung in jail?
for our own fucking good?
voice in another room : YEAH RIGHT!!!

39 Responses to “glossary of drugs”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2009 at 10:15 pm #

    charming killer,just charming.dickhead.

  2. avatar
    Finn | 3 April 2009 at 10:51 pm #


    Your blog yesterday was somewhat sad. It seems like a story you need to tell and you do it well. There’s a whole enigmatic thing about drugs, but especially heroin, and you do a good job of dispelling the myths. From a standpoint of enjoying your music, I’m glad it’s behind you.

    The post today was interesting. It reminds me of the liner notes to a Talking Heads best of CD where David Byrne basically runs down his experiences with drugs. I thought that was a funny way to accompany your box set Mr. Byrne.

    Having had some of (but not all of) the experiences that you have described here, I completely agree with the last bit about the legal issues regarding drugs (and sex for that matter). I’m in America and I suspect it’s much worse here. I understand some sort of line for civil behavior has to be drawn, but I spent a month in Holland last year and having a handful of unmotivated hippies hanging around is certainly no threat to civilization as we know it.

    Anyway, it’s good of you to be so open about your experiences. While possibly you’re preaching to the choir (you know, church fans), I know I agree.

    ps – your take on cocaine is sort of interesting. It seems like the drug least likely to have a creative side, having seen plenty of people turn into rats fiending over the stuff. But in my experience it can if you can keep it at a safe distance.


  3. avatar
    ross b | 3 April 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    This is a fascinating read, I’ve always loved reading about drugs and all their effects yet I’ve rarely dabbled myself. I enjoy good beer and wine and I take plenty of herbs to stave off an ‘incurable’ condition that is in fact curable or at least reversible. Now Korean Ginseng… that’s surely up there with cocaine for horny!

  4. avatar
    stealthblue | 3 April 2009 at 11:43 pm #

    AMEN!! This is what I’ve been saying for years. For the most part, this “modern society” has it completely backwards when it comes to the drug laws and public demonizing of certain substances. Just even the way they (the media) say the word…”and the suspect was found lying next to a small MAR-uh-WONna cigarette. As you can see, he was obviously doing THE POT, so he is obviously GUILTY!!!” Or better yet, some of the STOOOOPID commercials…’see what happens when you smoke weed…” Although, perhaps even high-school is still a little too early to really delve into such things. Ironically, that is when you really want to try things, but that is especially when you go OVERBOARD with everything.

    Anyway, yes, I do appreciate the naturals, (MJ/Shrooms)especially pot for it’s creative aspects/enhancements, etc. Coke, that’s a different story. NO WAY for me, baby. I’ve seen it fuck things up WAY too much, including my band. I stand by that, if it wasn’t for my fucked up drummer and his lying little coke habit and always ruining a real recording session or better yet, wanting to “go out side and box” because one of us would offer constructive criticism! Yuck, that shit got old. The again, it was our/my fault for allowing him and the drug that much power. For those of you who know what this is like, it is a very, fine line… friendship/fortune.

    As far as the opioids go, yes I do get a script once in a while for my bloody back problems. I don’t go too public about it because of what everyone thinks…everyone’s got some sort of opinion on how to fix it, etc. But alas, my MRI and CTs say differently…”hmmmm, there really is pain going on here.” So along with all the stretchy, stretchy and yogaesque healing, it still kills pretty bad from time to time and so, a nice dose of a controlled substance is good. It allows me to have a normal relationship with my co-workers and wife, my guitars, and my dreams. I know some of you know what I am talking about, pain so excrutiating, you can’t even listen to music without being pissed off at the world. I’m not talking about something a little Advil will knock out. (I wish actually) Long story short, I gotta a bad back due to to much jerking around as a younger man, perhaps having too much fun until an accident happens. Along with playing music and just enjoying life, I was a tree-trimming, land-scaping, motocross-racing, acting/old-west stunt show/horse- riding, surfing, downhill-skiing, love-making SOB!! Yes, I had a blast doing most of that, but there were some serious injuries, and before you know it, you’re in your thirties and hurting like you never thought you would…24/7. I shook them off, only to really feel everybit of the after shock in my “advancing years.” Yes, I strectch out EVERYDAY religiously, I don’t do tha booze, I like coffee (a lot) and rarely good tobacco and of course, tha ganga (not too much anymore unfortunately) (too hard and expensive to get and my trust of shady characters has diminished since the olden days) As far as abusing narcotics, I don’t feel like I do. I do not pop pills for fun or for the “effect”. Having the edge off your pain though is a godsend. If weed could do that by itself, I would be cool with that, but it doesn’t and any happy pothead will tell you the same. There’s only so much it can handle and personally I don’t like to be that goofy asshole who just smoked his whole stash so he can feel his face go numb and sit there with a bag of cheetos and that stupid shit-eating grin and nasally laugh. Know what I mean? I just had the pleasure of visiting my brother in LA and I smoked a “peace-pipe” with him, just enough to really, truly enjoy it again. (It had been months, maybe even close to a year) Hmmmm, perhaps THAT is why i have hit such a creative brick wall lately.

    So, maybe what it comes down to, is that certain drugs are not so bad, some are completely evil and some are ridiculous concoctions that were never meant to be injested. (Some of those are even the biggest money-makers for pharmacutical companies even now) Basically too much of ANYTHING is bad. No?

    The biggest problem with the “War on Drugs” (not to mention the “War on Terror”) is that it will NEVER end, it will Only get WORSE, and MANY more will die and lose their homes and go to jail and families will suffer, villages will be raided, innocents will be ganked like pheasants from a hundred yards by “do-gooders” calling themselves “minute men.” C’mon, this world really has to re-think what is truly important and what is worth putting our resources in to protect. I’m not saying the world would be better off if we were ALL high, but certainly Pot, for Christ’s sake, should be decriminalized across the board, world-wide, end of story. That whole aspect of it is completely ludicrous…LIFE PRISON sentences for a dude who had an ounce on him??? WTF? The control of the poppy situation is a whole different story, there’s is way too much money at stake to make it a free for all market. You bet the Gvmts (especially the US) wants to control that market too, both legal and illicit. Anyway, this could turn into another BIG discussion I am sure, not to mention guns and sex!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Well, thanks for another very insightful and indeed inspiring session, Steve and Co. I know this was long, but whoever disapproves, please get over it. I have seen some of your long rants as well. I just find certain topics more interesting that others, ok? Peace and Love to you all.


    Ben V.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2009 at 11:52 pm #

    I agree to a point,having been an advocate for this path in the past.
    But, if so many people are against these substances, they must be able to see something intrinsically wrong with the picture, si?

    Maybe militant prohibition is an over reaction and misses the point, but drug users also need to take responsibility for the counter effects of being so into your own state of mind that you are maybe not contributing to the progress of this beloved world.

    And you know if those of us who see problems and a hesitant future stood our ground in workplaces and other public and social places,
    a paradigm shift may happen, and more quickly (paradigm shifts are notoriously slow and finely balanced little critters). While shows like underbelly keep the stereotypes going, i reckon its sort of a steeper uphill battle.

    Its also true that things can seem rosier retrospectively. This(2009) maybe a time when being straight has its own creative edginess.

    Much love

  6. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 4 April 2009 at 12:00 am #

    I would ban slaughterhouses, hunting, trapping, fishing, vivisection, abortion, fur farms and all the genocidal massacres of those who can’t speak for themselves before banning most drugs and all unhealthy junk foods.

    Sorry to say that demon alcohol is the only intoxicating substance I have enjoyed. I could be one of those bloated blokes at the ARIAS telling Kilbey what he better sing.

  7. avatar
    princey | 4 April 2009 at 12:16 am #

    Yeah, but what REALLY rocks yer boat Stevie????

    Have a luvly drug-free weekend one and all,
    luv Diamanda

  8. avatar
    eek | 4 April 2009 at 12:24 am #

    (a legal firm : marijuana, cannabis and hemp)


    the drug laws create the crime associated with drugs
    just like prohibition created crime with alcohol
    remove them n you remove crime
    let drugs be a medical issue
    let people decide for themselves


  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 12:40 am #

    Steve, No More junk flashback’s!
    I too sat at the feet of Saint Joan of Narc, an yer storeez are making my cant wet ๐Ÿ˜‰


  10. avatar
    Richard | 4 April 2009 at 12:55 am #

    steady there SK

    the grass is always greener… blah de blah


    move over Michael Moore

    three continents and counting

    we need some KIWIS (Paul? Matt?)

    and a French bloke from Holland

    and some more people beginning with ‘v’

    and some upside down froggish things

    and chicago is under-represented

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 3:43 am #

    The t.v. in the other room is on spike channels new show DEA.
    What a bunch of self congratulatory small minded robots. I’m glad to hear you and other comments tell the truth about the crime CREATED by prohibition.
    Rather than defend against the lies I try to focus on all the harm they cause. Watch the news here in the states and the big story now is how all these Mexican cartels are becoming armed like never before, more violent and all thanks to help from the u.s.a.
    It’s starting to spill over the border.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 3:58 am #

    Its sometimes this knowledge that is learned the hard way that really matters the most. Im glad that your in the know, and you are wiser for it. Awesome Factory gig on youtube. SUCH enthisiasm. Especially Tantalized! WOW. Keep doing what your doing!
    Galveston TX

  13. avatar
    eek | 4 April 2009 at 4:01 am #

    Dates for the US Church tour are starting to drop!! So far I’ve found June 25 at the Magic Bag in Ferndale, MI and June 26 at the Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland, OH.

    (only five more Ohio dates left to find, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

    Start checking likely local venues folks!!!

  14. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 4 April 2009 at 4:02 am #


    much more interesting to do than to talk about
    much more interesting to make music on than off

    i know i should probably not get on any high (Puns are funny) horse (they really are!)

    about what i think i am reading into this blog of yours

    i will say this…yoga, pot, art music and family

    simple and real

    you know what is best for yourself and those you love

    i wish you happiness and health


  15. avatar
    M E M | 4 April 2009 at 4:16 am #

    killer, i adore you, my friend.nice words on U23…

  16. avatar
    linjo | 4 April 2009 at 4:46 am #

    Wow thats a lot of information to digest. You certainly know your stuff Steve. Thanks to Ben also for an interesting comment. Everyday I wonder how ‘on earth’ we are going to sustain this beautiful planet for much longer. It’s bad enough to see the rapidly growing number of obese families and morons breeding indiscriminantly putting a strain on mother nature or the daily destruction that alcohol brings to all communities, so thank fuck that drugs are illegal. The last thing we need now as we hang on to survival, is a bunch of drug fucked introvert mendicants not contributing to society. Drugs arnt gonna stop them from breeding! Most members of society are law abiding so if it wasnt illegal the use of drugs would escalate out of control of course so then we would have fat drunks taking drugs as well. Oh goody. Obviously I am not ‘better’ because I like alcohol than someone who likes pot, but the lines have to be drawn somewhere surely. Linda

  17. avatar
    don joe | 4 April 2009 at 7:31 am #

    Since the Allied occupation in Afghanistan has increased, the amount of drugs coming out of there has increased tremendously.
    Several trillion dollars flow through the worlds banks directly from drug money being laundered each year. The oligarchs of the world monetary system want it this way. Just see what has come out of G20. US/UK leading the way to increase the IMF’s coffers with more gold being sold to them. New World Order comin’ right up.
    The psychotropic drugs handed out by quacks n pseudo scientists (psychiatrists who happened to unleash LSD and Ecstacy, to name a few, onto society) create the madness we see in these mass shootings all throughout the world at schools etc.

    Drugs are poisons. Period.

    I worked at a rehab long enough to know that any drug messes any person up in small and large doses. I personally saw less psycholigical damage done from heroin than anything else though the withdraws weren’t pleasent. Pot had the least severe physical side effects when withdrawn from. LSD, ice, cocaine and drugs of that ilk permanently scare people psychologically. Alcohol is the most insidious to get people off. It is a hypnotic for one and its available on almost every corner in almost any town around the world. Medical drugs are the scariest. These things are legal and can be bought for next to nix. The users of these drugs take the longest to recover (some taking over 1 year) and are heavily scared psycholgically.
    Every person who came through the centre used drugs to escape some problem in their life that they couldn’t handle. They found an escape in drugs. This is 1 for 1out of over 300 cases I worked with and rings true in every other Narconon centre across the world. When a person finds they can control their life better and solve their problems, they cease to need drugs and the fact they used drugs to do so actually abhorrs them.
    Hemp has a sad history as it offers so much outside of the “weed dude”. Its oil from seed, fibre from the stems etc are superior products to anything out there. We can thank Dupont for shutting down any chance of that happening. Fucking synthetics…

    I do not condone this blog.

    I know your music has an influence from the drugs. I know I liked to listen to the church when I was stoned or whatever in the past. Funny though how I enjoy your music more than I ever have since I quit that shit. I do hope you are still clean and giving it a chance. It’s the best thing for you and those associated with what you do.

    For those wanting to rail against what I write….bite me.

    don joe

  18. avatar
    Leelinau | 4 April 2009 at 7:34 am #

    “i mean obesity kills more people than smack
    by a long shot
    but i dont see em making big macs or kfc illegal soon”


    sugar is the worst drug EVER


    Not to be off topic, but I happened to turn on the telly the other day..just flippin along, and there you are on VH1’s one hit wonders. Showed your Olympics gig an all.

    Do they tell you guys about this stuff?




  19. avatar
    captain mission | 4 April 2009 at 7:46 am #

    all the keys to liberation are controlled by authorities. sex and drugs and truth.

  20. avatar
    EDD | 4 April 2009 at 8:34 am #

    Fukkin' Eh! Steve. Dead on. I have always been afraid of trippin' Reality is enough of a paraniod nightmare for me. Love weed but I…..DID YOU HEAR THAT?…IT MUST BE THEM!!!!>……GOTTA GO!!!!

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 8:42 am #

    hows the clean phase following hospital phase going then??

  22. avatar
    the dean | 4 April 2009 at 8:51 am #

    A child’s garden of grass, it ain’t.

    Who are these voices in another room? Does anyone else hear them?

  23. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 4 April 2009 at 9:58 am #

    always open a can of worms when you start talking drugs like this, don’t you…..i can’t claim to have a moral high ground when it comes to this stuff but i know that i’ll be scared for my daughter with some of of the shit that’s going to be around when she’s a teenager….all i can do is make her happy in her self and good and strong and hope for the best….dunno, there’s a line that’s disturbingly easy to cross between recreation and fucking one’s life up, isn’t there….
    love always…..

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 10:08 am #

    Curiosity asks:Would you and nk be completely happy for your little girls to become drug users in the future?

  25. avatar
    12str | 4 April 2009 at 10:29 am #

    right on killah..!!Respect!Up here in winterland i could loose my job, my family, my life, just by smoking a joint..but alcohol this monster when overconsumed, slay people,thrash families and bring so much pain and costs for the society in our part of the world, is seen as a socially accepted and great drug..i dont like speed that much, makes me nervous.smack scares the hell out of me, coke is ok once in a while..iยดd love to try smoking opium just once..acid wow !! but left me emptyheaded for days….just pass the joint, thats enough for me,inspiring as it me a criminal or a fool but i prefer it to alcohol anytime.
    take care

  26. avatar
    catchow | 4 April 2009 at 10:37 am #

    Richard…what do you mean with…
    some ” upside down froggish things”

  27. avatar
    davem | 4 April 2009 at 12:27 pm #

    That’s a lengthy list you have SK.
    I can only comment on…..


    Of the above I regret nicotine the most. I never managed to control it, packed up smoking for 7 years once, had 1 in a moment of weakness and was back on 25 a day within the week. ‘cos of the old nicotine I won’t risk sharing a spliff nowadays. Haven’t touched a ciggie for 3 years and 10 months…..would kill for one right now though.
    And ciggies are legal but you go to prison for growing another type of plant. Strange old world.

  28. avatar
    melissa | 4 April 2009 at 12:48 pm #

    the only experience I’ve had with drugs is that I wasted a good 8 or so years with a pot head, nearly lost my beautiful sister in her drug hell and two beautiful people who were like brothers to me have long since passed away.

    So I’m not such a big fan! I feel more connected to the universe via a Yoga class than any drug could possibly give me.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 1:35 pm #

    even sobriety is a drug. running is a drug. biking etc. but good for ya

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 3:22 pm #


  31. avatar
    Mr. Argent | 4 April 2009 at 5:09 pm #

    Isn’t making wonderful, thoughtful music a “valid” contribution to society? How does one calculate the value of their individual contributions?

    โ€œWe can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.โ€โ€“Paul Coelho

  32. avatar
    Michael K. Warren | 4 April 2009 at 5:12 pm #

    I do agree with the legalization of most drugs in that it will put a dent on the activity of various drug cartels and whatnot. But something that truly bothers me about drug users is that unless they can trace the original source of where their stuff came from, somewhere along the line they are probably supporting thieves and murderers. Even the friendly neighborhood dealer probably isn’t as friendly as he seems.

    I suppose that people get their hands on what they want one way or another, so if they want to screw up their own life they can do it, but I would like to see and end to the little war underneath it all.

    Oh, and I want to add that I know that not everyone who deals drugs is a crook in some way. I worked with a guy who spent a number of years in federal prison for selling LSD at a Grateful Dead concert. That’s just silly.

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 8:00 pm #

    Today i went and bought myself a bottle.Like we used to do.Reminded me of you…Today i saw a train roll by the river.Blowing off some steam.Reminded me of me…That’s when i threw the bottle in the river.That’s when i started running for the train.There’s something that you need,i can’t deliver….Carry me away.Carry me away.xX

  34. avatar
    Verdelay | 4 April 2009 at 8:04 pm #

    Well of course I agree wholeheartedly and without reserve.

    Drugs are good. Drugs are bad. Drugs are both.

    The only drug I’ve had any access to for the past 5 years is alcohol, and it’s not one of my favourites by any measure. Just a ragged, blunt hypnosis that seems to dehydrate the soul. But I crave the derangement, can’t do without it.

    Desire, eh?

    Oh, and there’s caffeine, of course (twice daily) and nicotine (not for the past five years, thankfully. I ain’t gonna work on maggie’s farm no more)

    Sigh. The grass was always greener…


  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 April 2009 at 9:14 pm #

    As the cliche goes: “God made weed, Man made booze”. So I completely agree with your argument although I don`t have the same experience as you`ve had with certain substances (fortunately!). As a humble user of pot, hashish, acid and mescaline in my gloriously misspent youth, I must say I go for those mindexpanding, selfrevealing, mindmanifesting substances. I don`t indulge too much these days but most of my time in the “real” world these days is preoccupied with exploring the unknown, infinite dimensions that the use of entheogens revealed to me. Yeah, the doors of perception opened up wide. Oh, sweet mystery of life!
    And why am I here at this moment in time, on a blog in cyberspace, manifesting my thoughts on this topic???!! Well, for the simple reason that the music of this band called the Church and this being calling himself stevekilbeythekiller clicks completely (well, at least 60% of it – sorry!) with my attitude and experience in those dimensions. A fellow traveller!
    The soundtrack of my life……
    Just wanted to let you know that even though you haven`t got rich and wealthy from your music, you sure have tapped into the Divine reservoir of human potential to express what is behind the veil… A True Artist!
    Bring it on kilbey!!!!

  36. avatar
    restaurant mark | 4 April 2009 at 9:25 pm #

    very interesting today. i’ve pretty much had experiences with all the mentioned substances minus a couple. some i dove into more than others…pot, lsd, coke, ecstasy. i never could be creative doing coke…as soon as you do a couple of lines all you want to do is more lines. forget the instruments…
    pot and lsd…i immediately want to play. haven’t tripped in years though. definately a few records i’d like to hear on it. so maybe?????
    loved the tidbits about the new songs from a couple of days ago…just read it a minute ago.

    take care everyone

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 April 2009 at 2:00 am #

    aah, drugs. most have had experiences, good, bad, indifferent, tragic….. my first exposure came at an early age (it seems to me) when i was putting dry towels up in my parents bathroom and came across a tray on the top shelf. it was red, and on it were several roaches, papers, a bag of pot, seeds, etc… i was 9 or 10. the shock was profound at the time. a few years later, my mom divorced my dad. i was quickly growing wiser. when i was 16, i called my mom to let her know what time my sister and i would be over for our weekly overnight visit. she was incoherent and dropped the phone in the middle of the conversation. confused about what to do, i called my father at work and he said that i needed to get over there asap and to not take my little sister with me. when i arrived, she didn’t answer the door so i jumped her patio fence and saw her passed out, naked, on the bed. she had tried to commit suicide by swallowing handfuls of tylenol. shortly after this, i learned that my mom was in deep, deep debt for a raging coke habit. she was scared, couldn’t pay it, depressed, yaddy yiddy yaya. my dad paid it, my mom went to rehab, and got clean. naively, after all that, after such a heavy price, i thought that my mom was done with that. i was wrong. up and down and round and round it went until about 6 years ago.

    after being so close to it, i was wary and careful. if i was smart, i could keep it fun time- recreational. i tried crank, coke, acid, ice, ecstacy and i routinely partook of the great herb. i enjoyed most of it but i always had enough self control to never let it get out of control.

    in 02, i herniated a couple of discs in my lower back. it was excruciating. every pain medication that could be prescribed was prescribed. i took it, needed it for the pain. i never noticed when it became less for pain and more for peace of mind/habit until i was completely too far gone. within a couple of years, i became a shadow of my former self. all my drive, motivation, zest for life, sense of humor, contentment became wrapped up in the search and procurement of my next set of pills. i knew what was happening to me, hated myself for it, but could not stop. i did things that i could never imagine myself doing. i felt so fucking powerless. even today, after being clean since june 07, i can’t believe that it was the same person. it’s so hard to reconcile. i had tried on my own several times to stop but always failed. failure after failure only led me farther down the black hole of self loathing, hate. the only time that i could forget about the piece of shit that i had become was after swallowing 4 or 5 oxycontins or 5 or 6 lortabs. i became so introverted. i couldn’t discuss it with my wife (she’d been thru so much shit already that if she knew i was using again…..) or anyone else. it was my secret. i ended up losing my job. my wife (now my ex) began having an affair with another guy. everything that i cared about, all that was important had become secondary. i hit rock bottom when my ex asked for a separation (before i knew about her cheating). in a moment of clarity that must have been of divine nature, i saw my salvation. i drove myself to my old hometown, called my mom (she’d understand after all) and checked myself into rehab. i had made that break, knew what i must do and for the first time in a long time, i had full confidence that i would not fail. that was june 25, 2007 and to this day i haven’t thought about using again. i am fully aware of the traps that lay ahead but i will not fall. i lost the woman that i loved, my dream house, the right to see my beautiful girls every day, lots of material possessions but i wouldn’t trade the peace of mind ive found for any of it.

    thats my story. drugs can and will destroy if you let them. i still smoke from time to time but it’s the only vice i have. (i don’t see it in the same way as other drugs) there are so many different beliefs when it comes to drugs and i can’t fault any of them. it’s all personal choices. i’m a regular here at the time being but i think this once that i will hide behind the ole anonymity cloak.

    peace and love to all.

    untitled 23 is the real shit, btw!

  38. avatar
    fulltiltgonzales | 10 April 2009 at 4:54 pm #

    I apologise, but the original Narcosis 5-song E.P. and Priest=Aura are two of the most amazing things you’ve ever done. Just my opinion. Not that if you’d stopped after Blurred Crusade, Heyday, or Starfish that you’d be any less important or respected as a songwriter, as those albums are all magic, man! And I’m not short-changing your work since – I love it all, really and truly. Regardless, so sorry for the personal toll you had to pay to get off the heroin, but I can’t help but thank you for that sacrifice if it had anything to do with you coming up with Narcosis or Priest=Aura, these incredible recordings that will be cherished by our children and grandchildren long after we’ve exited this terra firma, as long as the human race survives, if it does survive…

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 November 2009 at 10:07 am #

    Anyone on here trying to say that drugs are bad and no one has ever made a valid contribution to society while under the influence should swallow their tongue and die. Even if you disregard artists like the Beatles, you cannot deny something as profound as Francis Cricks discovery of the double helix as it relates to DNA. He had this insight while on LSD. Also Carl Sagan was an avid pothead and admitted in his own memoirs about how some of his best ideas came to him when he was stoned. I'm sure there are legions of members in the scientific field who have gone the same route but would never admit it for fear of losing credibility. That's why as in the case of the two previously mentioned scientists this information only came to light after their deaths. They intended it to be that way.

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