posted on May 13, 2006 at 10:17 pm

my dear fiendss
more bad news im afraid
rusty rang me last night
my dearest and sweetest relative ever
my auntie irene
died yesterday of a heart attack
my auntie irene was married to my mums youngest brother
uncle ken
they were married in 1970
i was at their wedding
and everyone in my family
especially me and my dad
LOVED irene
we all called her weenie
and she was a little cutie too
small and chubby
we always said she looked like liz taylor
but much kinder and nicer
me and my dad were always round there
at ken n irenes place
they were always up to something a little different
for example hypnosis
they had a phase of doing self hypnosis
and youd go round there
and there were people stretched out stiff between 2 chairs
with other people sitting on em
(to show how well self hyp worked)
or the time the brazilian woman
was getting em to drink all these strange herbs
for some very strange reason
irene thought i was a good kid
even when the rest of the fam
thought i was a right royal precocious pain in the botty
and she and i had a great connection
she was an amazing cook too
her yorkshire pudd was legendary
and my dad said she was the only person
who could rival my mum for good english cooking
last year ken and irene hadda relly-fest
and all but 2 of my mums 8 brothers n sisters was there
my doodles had a ball meeting up with all my cousins kids
(i gotta million cousins)
and spent most of the day in kens pool
aunty irene was so pleased to see me
beckoning me into the kitchen
allo, steven…come and look at this bread pudd
remember so n so
and then she grabbed me and said
i knew you were gonna turn out alright
and it was like i was sixteen again
when weenie n i would go out the back and smoke cigarettes
she always smoked a few regulars
then a consulate menthol
we used to have some bloody laughs
one time k and i came over for a party
and i had this little label making machine
so i made little labels with the name barry pond
and stuck them on everything
barry pond was the name of my uncles ex-rival
for irenes affections
and irene was giggling all day
as she encountered another object with barry pond stuck to it
i think actually there is still an ashtray somewhere
bearing the barry pond legend to this day
eventually
when no one thought it was gonna happen
ken and irene had my darling cousin samantha
who grew up to become a skater
who skated on ice all over europe
and rose to the top of her profession
you see irene had been a big skater too
and encourage sam as a kid
and she was a natural
i was a real little sod to my uncle ken
mainly cos he was a patient kind kinda guy
and i was a cruel orrible bloody kid
but as i grew up a little
we played squash together
and hung out a bit
and really
they were the faves of all my mums many rellies
ken and irene came and saw the church play in2002
in canberra
we had a special table for them and petes mum n dad
i was still carrying a bit of surplus weight
in those days
and weenie , never one to pull punches
says
cor steve, you an “arf put on some weight
only she could get away with that, fiendss!
anyway last year
she was relieved to see me back down
to my svelte and lovely self
it didnt suit ya she said
although id been dreading the relly fest a bit
before going
me and nk had a wonderful time
and we all wished we could have a relly fest every week
a hilarious part was when all my mums brothers
starting reminiscing about my mums pre-dad boyfriends
cmon joycie
admit it
you were a bit of a heartbreaker, werent ya?
we all had such a laugh
and i was so pleased to be a part of the bennetts
the next day i was on my hotel balcony
punching my fists in the air
yo the bennetts!!!
i finally felt accepted by them all
and i realised how wonderful being part of a big extended family was
weenie was very nervous in case her bread pudd was not up to
its reputed legendary taste from the “old days”
but it was excellent
we had the BEST bloody time
you could have in a backyard in canberra
surrounded by a buncha kids
a buncha cousins
and a buncha olde pommy uncles n aunts
my mum is always saying
you know son
i dont know why
but irene thinks the sun shines outta your whatnot
now ive lost my biggest fan in the family
aunty irene
i love you
i will miss you
and you are one more person
i look forward to meeting
when i go to the great gig in the sky
i bet shes there saying
cor steve what took you so bloody long

they say bad luck comes in 3s
but i just lost 2 of the nicest friends i ever had
so surely that must count as a 3
vale auntie weenie
it was a delight knowing you
you were a gorgeous lady
steve

33 Responses to “goodnight irene….”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 May 2006 at 11:21 pm #

    dear sk
    so sad to
    hear your
    news
    my deepest
    sympathies to
    you
    your beautiful words
    do your beloved
    aunt irene proud
    she sounds like
    an amazing woman
    loved reading
    about your
    “relly fest” and
    family memories…
    priceless

    but its no wonder
    your special aunt
    saw your
    special gifts

    thinking of you
    love
    diane

  2. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 13 May 2006 at 11:22 pm #

    It’s late Saturday afternoon here on this side of the world and Steven, let me be one of the first to say I am so, so sorry for yet another loss you must bear. I’m a bit shocked; I admit I feel like I need to leave a Kleenex box next to the computer lately because all I do when I read your blog is laugh or cry my eyes out – and I don’t even know these people. Your descriptions are so clear, I feel I do a bit though.

    Irene sounds like she was a grand lady! Although I’m a bit confused…doesn’t the sun shine outta yer…????? 😉
    She knew a good egg when she saw one, that is all.
    Yes, they say they go in 3’s but surely this is enough – this is ENOUGH!
    Your story about the ‘relly fest’ sounds so wonderful to me. I have a tiny family; only two cousins. I would love to go to something like that. You are loved by so many people – family, friends, fans, fiendss. You know that right? I mean, you KNOW that?
    Didn’t get a chance to thank you for sharing about Grant’s funeral as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts; I cannot listen to JF without tears…maybe someday soon, smiles will replace them again.
    RIP Irene.

    xxoo
    denise

  3. avatar
    eek | 13 May 2006 at 11:26 pm #

    I’m so sorry, Steve.

    You’ve written a really eloquent remembrance of your aunt here. She sounds like the type of person everyone should have in his or her life. I’m glad she was part of your life.

    And she was right you know — you have turned out alright.

    Take care, SK. You’re in my thoughts.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 May 2006 at 12:41 am #

    Steve you have my sympathies for your loss. I hope you don’t have to face anymore of such pain anytime soon.

    dw

  5. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 14 May 2006 at 1:05 am #

    [death is all around], sorry for your loss once again…
    mjnjr

  6. avatar
    CSTCoach | 14 May 2006 at 1:46 am #

    Ahh, hell, i’m very sorry to hear that. My condolences, Steve, to you and to JLK and Russell and family.

    You’ve had an awful go lately, but mixed with a string of great successes – ULTC and the commonwealth gig among them. So strange how it seems to go that way. It happened for me like that. Several years of doing the starving artist thing, then I lost the most important person to me, the only family member i was close to, my dad – and the only one i cared to please by my worldly success. Also he was the one who really believed in me. That very week everything took off for me, in both of my interest areas, and it’s been going full-on since. It’s a bitter success in many ways though, cause my dad isn’t around to see it.

    I hope things start looking up for you soon, amigo. You’ve written a beautiful epitaph here for your aunt, i suspect that she would be proud. beautifully written, and warmly remembered.

    take care.
    ryan

  7. avatar
    mike a | 14 May 2006 at 1:50 am #

    So sorry to hear about your auntie – It sounds like you have lovely memories of her – you talk about her with so much warmth and affection.

  8. avatar
    bronwyn | 14 May 2006 at 1:59 am #

    Dear Steven

    I just wrote you a long letter. I don’t want to send it here.

    How can I?

    I’m so sorry for your Aunty…. well, for you,.. o…. o…. what’s to say…

    sun shines

    Bronwyn

    bronwyn.mahoney@free.fr

  9. avatar
    juniper | 14 May 2006 at 2:29 am #

    It’s sad you’ve lost your Auntie Irene…it sounds like she was one fantastic lady.

    Yes, that “bad luck in threes” does seem to happen, unfortunately….in the past year, I’ve lost 3 people who were close to my soul.

    My thoughts and sincere condolences to you, SK….Also, thanks for sharing about Grant’s funeral….

    Peace.

  10. avatar
    G. Siscryst | 14 May 2006 at 3:21 am #

    Very sorry to hear of yet another loss for you, Steve. She sounded like a right fine lady.

    Lets count the texas fan who quit you as loss #3 (it may be a minor one, but he’s dead to us) and let the Karma pendulum swing back to the + side.

  11. avatar
    Sean M Whelan | 14 May 2006 at 4:49 am #

    Steve, sorry to hear about your Aunt. Keep fighting the good fight Steve with your finely crafted words on this here blog. I’m such a fan. Also, not sure if you know but I just noticed that on All Music today (www.allmusic.com) Snow Job is their Album of the Day! With a great review written there too.
    Your tributes to Grant have been incredibly warm and touching. You’ve made such an amazing contribution to his memory. Thank you.

  12. avatar
    sue cee | 14 May 2006 at 4:51 am #

    Steve, Im so sorry to hear about your aunt weenie, you have some terrific memories there of a very special lady who you have mentioned here before. My god though, what a toad you were, sticking Barry Pond labels on everything. and you’re still putting labels on everything LOL sorry, couldnt resist that one! Sending hugs to you all!
    xxx

    ps I always think of my nan when I hear ‘yorkshire pud’… one of her specialties too. Im trying to imagine you telling your aunt to hold the roast but I’ll have the vegies and pud!

  13. avatar
    BDC | 14 May 2006 at 5:29 am #

    Sorry to hear about your auntie, SK — I think I remember your posting about her earlier. Sad days. But how nice to be able to remember your friends and family so beautifully.

  14. avatar
    captainmission | 14 May 2006 at 6:42 am #

    steve
    love and peace to you and yours.
    capt. mission

  15. avatar
    lily | 14 May 2006 at 8:03 am #

    SK,

    I’m sorry for the loss of your Aunt Irene. My sympathies to you and your family. I think most people have someone like that in their clan. That one person who truly unconditionally loves you and accepts you even when you’re not at your best. The one who isn’t just a relative but is actually a great FRIEND too. I bet Irene and Grant will get on really well in heaven.

  16. avatar
    davem | 14 May 2006 at 9:35 am #

    Gutted for you Steve.
    Take huge care of yourself.
    Love you.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 May 2006 at 10:47 am #

    not a good week bud. all the best. things will get better.

  18. avatar
    Elduvik | 14 May 2006 at 10:50 am #

    So sorry for you, it all seems so hopelessly sad, but just try to believe that hard times are going be over soon… looking forward to seeing you shine in London end of this month,

    Andreas
    Genoa/Italy

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 May 2006 at 10:51 am #

    Sorry to hear about your aunt, Steve.

    Love,
    Amanda (afterimage)

  20. avatar
    fergal | 14 May 2006 at 11:04 am #

    my sincere condolences to you sk
    ~

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 May 2006 at 11:05 am #

    Egads man, you have a lot of hurting to do. I’m so sorry for your double loss. I lost two of my closest in the space of 6 months and ten years later I still am not over it. I carry on yes, and I function, and I laugh, but I am still massively fucked up inside. I think I always will be but I stay normal on the outside for the sake of others.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 May 2006 at 11:14 am #

    Sometimes bad things just arrive all together…I’m sorry, really, although I understand “sorry” is just a useless word in a circumstance like this…

    Be strong…we’re all with tyou

    Steffi

  23. avatar
    jeanz | 14 May 2006 at 12:51 pm #

    My condolences Steve

    Jean

  24. avatar
    si-kli | 14 May 2006 at 2:49 pm #

    Ouch, double whammy!!Lousy timing.
    She sounded grounded and a dear. What a shame, another passing on…. Time’s up…again! Soldier on matey, sans gun. Happy travels. Up n atom. Menthols hey?!

  25. avatar
    rehan | 14 May 2006 at 4:27 pm #

    So sorry to hear about the double tragedy. But hang on Steve, things MUST get better soon.
    Love, peace, incence and peppermints

    Rehan

    P.S. You’ve got a LONG way to go before you make it to the great gig in the sky!

  26. avatar
    Noel Christian | 14 May 2006 at 4:50 pm #

    All the best to you and yours, Steve. My condolences to your family.

    Thanks for opening the window a bit for us.

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 May 2006 at 6:00 pm #

    So sorry to hear steve,
    It so tough to lose special people that have cared unconditionally and have gone out of their way to make life shine.
    I lost two grandma’s within 3 weeks, being the oldest grandson I was well adored and boy I just miss them so..
    I am happy you have your memories..
    peace is eternal..

    jaime rodriguez

  28. avatar
    veleska1970 | 15 May 2006 at 12:22 am #

    oh, sweetie. twice in a week. i know it sounds shallow, but just keep your chin up and remember the good times you had with grant and irene. best wishes to you and your loved ones.

  29. avatar
    John Garratt | 15 May 2006 at 1:54 pm #

    Detroit, 2002: Yeah, you had put on some weight. But all four of you were doing such a good job of sucking down the Heinekins.

    Then again, if I were playing such a crappy club, I too would be drinking plenty of beer.

  30. avatar
    Paige | 15 May 2006 at 11:59 pm #

    SK,

    Bless your little heart. My thoughts and prayers remain with you.

    It being Mother’s Day this Sunday (you folks observe that down there?), I found myself remembering my favorite auntie…actually a great aunt…Liz. What a gracious and sweet woman. She pretty much raised me as much as my mom. My favorite memories involve snapping or shelling beans, shucking corn or doing some other repetitive task along side her with the tons of produce that came out of her garden (well…it was Uncle Floyd’s garden…but of course he said it was “Baby’s”). I cried a lot over her this weekend.

    May all of our departed mothers and aunties and grannies and sisters bask in life’s afterglow and enjoy a well-deserved rest.

    Warmest wishes,
    Paige

  31. avatar
    Joanna Satana | 16 May 2006 at 3:14 pm #

    Dearest Mr. K,

    I’m so sorry to read about your losses…..so close together, not only in time but also in your heart.

    My own “they come in 3’s” were my Granny, my father, and my mum (my closest and dearest of friends as well), within the last 6 months of 2004.

    Then my mum’s bro early 2005.

    Really it came in “6’s”, as I’d lost my favorite Aunt, late ’99 and her hubby, 2 years after.

    I had barely reconciled the fact that they WERE indeed gone from this earthly plain, before I was gutted with the last 4 of the 6.

    Not in any way trying to “one-up”. Just saying I exist as living proof that we can, and *DO* get thru the anguish, the loss… you never get OVER it, but you do get thru and eventually carry on….

    My sincerest condolences to you. Let the love of those still with you hold you up in these times of great sorrow.

  32. avatar
    Sal | 19 May 2006 at 12:48 pm #

    As your cousin Samantha’s best friend, your words at Irene’s funeral moved me beyond belief. Your soul, your beauty, it’s hard not to bask in your brightness. I met you once before at Russell’s in Surry Hills, I was star struck, yesterday, I was speechless.

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 June 2006 at 8:19 pm #

    Many people try to achieve goals. Most fail. Some strive, work hard and plan for all the details yet they achieve little or nothing at all. Others strive, work hard, plan and achieve huge success. Yet there are a few individuals who do little else than take small steps and seem to achieve a great deal with what seems like effortlessness. What is the difference between these people and which one would you like to be?
    Most members of the human race fall into two categories – those who live in the past and those who live in the future. Most live in the past. Many of these are the people who achieve very little in their lives and are so fearful of the future that they dare not strike out to get anything. They are the under-achievers who hang onto bad episodes in their lives and either relive them time and again or look at new situations as similar potentialities. They say things like “all men are deceivers” or “all women are interested in is money” or “I can’t do it. I tried before and it didn’t work so why bother!”. Due to bad experiences in the past they believe that all future events will turn out the same way if they dare to go after what they want.
    The other type of person lives in the future. This type tends to create more of the things they want in life. They have a vision of where they want to go and exactly how they are going to get there. They work diligently at making concrete plans and they pursue those plans with a persistent ferocious appetite for success. These people are the high achievers – The Richard Branson and Bill Gates of the world. These people have much to teach us about setting and achieving goals.
    However, there is a third type of person who almost goes unnoticed. They are the person who takes life in its stride and yet achieve most of what they want. I am sure you know of such a person in your life that just seems to saunter through life and yet they always come out on top. Or a person who you hear of that has decided to open a shop. You meet them a few months later and they have three shops all doing well! So what makes these people so successful and if they aren’t living in the past and aren’t living in the future where are they living?
    I suppose you guessed it! Whether they are consciously aware of it or not they are living in the present. It is in the ‘living’ present that we have our greatest power. Everything happens in the present. You live your entire life there – even if your mind does not!
    By becoming more aware of the present and by ‘accepting’ it as it is we are much more in control of our emotions and focus. When we live in the past we are fearful of making bad choices and/or getting hurt. We do not wish to recreate the past again! When we live in the future we can also be fearful of what might happen. But even if your future vision is full of power and worthy of working towards many people can, and often do, get stuck there. By constantly reaching for bigger and better goals they fail to enjoy what they have in the moment.
    If you wish to start living a life that is almost effortless begin first by living in the present. Accept your situation the way it is and then you can enjoy what you have. Your focus changes from a memory of what was or a vision of what might be to a realization of what is. You become much more empowered to then see the beauty of life and also look at where you wish to make changes. But to make changes you must first accept the situation as it is. Trying to escape from your present only increases your focus on your problems by creating resistance to what is. Accept your life as it is now. Make no judgement, just accept it and then you will be free of doubt, worry, pain and fear. For you only experience these things when you live outside the ‘moment’. personal development


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