posted on August 6, 2018 at 1:46 pm

I coulda been a rhythm guitarist (sigh!)

true believers will already know

ramp speed 25


precious little

and precious little


baby grande

and baby grande

just begat an album out soon on ho-zac records

an American company specialising in stuff like this

whatever baby grande actually is

well its me singing n writing all the songs

Peter Koppes is on some of these tracks but not all

I sometimes play a bit of guitar n synth

but mainly I just sing…although thats using the word sing rather loosely

I imitate a load of other singers in my outta tune flat manner

the lyrics are a fucking giggle

ie the very inexperienced me singing about things I knew very little about

ie drugs women touring show biz dominatrices money stardom scandal booze life

for christ sake I still have never visited a dominatrix in all these years

(although I had one living in my house with the studio in Surry Hills in the nineties)

all delivered in a glam affected sneery silly manner

the guitars chug along and solo like fuck

look theres one good thing about this record

hats off to the geeza who did the mastering job

cos these songs come from a bunch of cassettes from 1974 75 76

different sessions some in big studios

some in Canberra in a 4 track home made jobby studio

and it lo, sounds ok

you’ll find glimpses of yer future humble hero

in songs like as

As Above So Below

god never looked so lovely

on such a moonlit day

all milky incandescence 

all girlish gaunt and grey

other lyrics will have you squirming with embarrassment

the inanity is not hard to find

I didn’t turn into myself until 1977 when I got the 4 track

at my leisure and playing everything then…

you can hear some fragments that remain of my 77 to 80 period

it was the diametric opposite of baby grande

more like an Eno early solo album or something

here I turned into me

some of this music is available on artefacts 

and freaky conclusions and even bits on unearthed

meanwhile someone out there is gonna fuckin’ love baby grande

some wag will pronounce it my finest work

and look it certainly rocks in its own relentless thrust

you know ya gonna have to buy it now ha ha

a true completist gotta have this

its hilarious its stupid its wilfully stupid in fact

its that awful must -have you simply must have

I did write one good song for baby grande

bel air

Peter suggested we do it when we put the church together

we also played around with as above so below

anyway coming soon

whether you want it

baby grande

and yes I give this record my blessing

I think you’ll get a kick out of it

ha ha ha





4 Responses to “grande theft (glam)”

  1. avatar
    andy | 7 August 2018 at 5:18 am #

    i’ll ‘ave a bit of that!

  2. avatar
    Ingrid | 8 August 2018 at 1:12 pm #

    Gotta say I love Baby Grande x

  3. avatar
    knot | 13 November 2018 at 10:56 am #

    sequins and glitter
    make up mirror
    baby sister
    siamese kittens

    It’s all bigger than you
    the spider in the hall
    your brother got so tall
    hands can’t reach the top

    white shoes buckle under tiny

    piled up, childish plots
    fantasy in a candy wrapper

    I dreamt of the same pale boy again
    he was saying he was Ill. I’ll?
    wearing a paper crown

    who could he be?
    my light up fairy says he’s south of me.

    don’t talk like that
    people say
    they for sure will put you away
    in a psychiatric ward
    with a little bitty yard
    narrow bed, lithium too
    your dreams aren’t real
    it isn’t true.

    • avatar
      Chris | 15 January 2019 at 9:20 am #

      jet fin rocket to the moon

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