posted on January 3, 2012 at 6:27 pm

chapel perilous

life is elusive

the sun burns white

it is the burning soul

a long dead giant

he quenched his thirst with one thousand seas

the moon is so cold

it is the frozen flame of magic

it appears at theatres near you

beside a raggle taggle columbine

*

it is not a happy new year for me

alcohol still pulverises my family

i hate it i loathe it i detest it

greediness and stupidity abound

my career is going up n up

my morale is going down n down

my teeth are rotten again

i move in and out of conflict

i thrash around in obfuscation and emotional obstacles

i am super creative but time is hard to come by

i am behind in what i need to do

i lapse into non-action

people bust stuff i gotta pay for..oh woe is me…!

it may look easy but its hard …its hard baby its hard

sorry about the moaning

i’ll leave off with a happy thought

nah …on second thoughts

forget it….

 

 

36 Responses to “hamstring instrument”

  1. avatar
    Ade | 3 January 2012 at 8:34 pm #

    Hey, we appreciate all that you do Steve, the world is a more interesting place with your art(s)….but you and your family need to come first. Top show in Adelaide BTW.

  2. avatar
    Mr Hyde | 3 January 2012 at 9:04 pm #

    you cant help people who drink to excess, selfish blokes, keep your sanity and avoid them like the plague, drink responsibly, really?

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 January 2012 at 10:11 pm #

    Alcohol like any drug can be a fierce foe.disguised as a friend.only when myself and my loved ones recognise we can’t drink safely.then the blessings can begin.that’s just my personal experience.

  4. avatar
    . | 3 January 2012 at 10:12 pm #

    such is this life
    sometimes it’s naughty
    sometimes it’s nice
    sink me like a stone
    fly me high like a kite
    still trying to figure it out
    what’s wrong and what’s right
    your music & art is refreshing
    as it invites the Light
    it’s alright to have a bad day
    tomorrow’s gonna be just fine
    the roller coaster is unpredicatable
    so hold on tight
    we live in a troubled world
    but you’ve made it brighter

  5. avatar
    Brian ison | 3 January 2012 at 10:26 pm #

    I’m sorry hear what is negatively affecting your life Steve. in life there is no perfection, no ever reaching bliss. However, the good stuff is tossed in there in between the detritus of life. The sun after the rain or the rain following the sun, whichever is your preference, if any. The smile of a child, a walk under the trees.
    May we all know the gifts that lie before and within
    Brian

  6. avatar
    eekie | 4 January 2012 at 12:04 am #

    Hug.

    I’m feeling used and manipulated. Not a good feeling.

  7. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 4 January 2012 at 1:04 am #

    It must b difficult to share anything personal, even though u feel like u really want and need to and than realize that u put urself out there, open, to a million opinions- a million responses.
    I include u in my prayers everynight, like many other people on this bloggeee and elsewhere in my life. I cannot offer sage advice because I am not a witness to it all. But, I can tell you that your loved. There is love in that house of yours, on the stage u prowl, on the discs we spin, in the aura u emitt. My only hope is that the love is strong enough in the battles of the past, present, and sadly…future to overcome and assist u in truly finding the time, finding ur way again. Oh, how I wish for more time in each day…but we can’t cheat it, we can defeat it though, we just need to each figure out its trick of tale.

    AsALways,
    Dazza

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 January 2012 at 1:16 am #

    yeahbutt – have you ever noticed after the thought, while finding a complaint to the moon that the big white sun always also rises? and then you wonder – why do children always color it yellow? maybe they’re just right? anyway, you pray that in the end it was harder on yourself than it was for them and that otherwise when they fall they know you loved them.

  9. avatar
    jaime r.. | 4 January 2012 at 1:30 am #

    I agree w ade, strengthen urself here and ur devotions to keeping ur family in good spirits.. its been a long time coming for the accolades and I as well paid some broke dues just to get ur album that one time in 89.. Ride the tides SK, yeah Drunks = Idiocy

  10. avatar
    davem | 4 January 2012 at 6:03 am #

    Life can be pretty shit.
    Thanks for making mine better than it otherwise would be.
    I’m in your corner SK.
    Love you.
    x

    • avatar
      Katie2 | 4 January 2012 at 12:28 pm #

      My father was a beautiful, gentle soul, who lived for his wife and kids. Until the dreaded alcohol pervaded his soul and a mean spiritied, curt and arrogant man took his place at our family table. He always apologised the morning after, and I know that even in his wet,dark hours he loved us as much as the insidious alcohol would let him. But my childhood memories of piggybacking on his shoulders, shellcollecting on the beach, and fishing off the rockwall with him are tarnished, and always will be. The nights lying in bed as an 8 year old, the blankets pulled up over my head so i couldn’t hear the yelling and shouting between him and my mother, hearing mum leave in the middle of the night to avoid the strike of a trembling, misguided fist. In his later years he stopped playing with fire and returned to the gentle, loving man he had always really been, and I miss him so after losing him to alcohol related dementia last year. Alcohol- the tarnisher of hearts, the breaker of spirit and souls.

      • avatar
        thetimebeing | 4 January 2012 at 1:08 pm #

        a tragic tragic story
        i lament all families destroyed by this pernicious insidious rubbish
        and VODKA is the worst
        sk

        • avatar
          Cocoamo | 4 January 2012 at 2:34 pm #

          My father–long time alcoholic–bled to death alone in a motel room after his esophageal varices burst. He had just downed a 5th of straight vodka. As my mother and brothers went to collect the body, the bloody mattress was being carried out and they noted a heavy trail of blood through the motel room. My father was exceedingly intelligent, creative, a builder, an artist, a speaker, a full army colonel. He died at 54. My mother had long before escaped to her religious callings. The six of us kids basically raised ourselves, our lives fraught with fear, shame and insecurity. There are probably thousands of similar stories.

          • avatar
            thetimebeing | 4 January 2012 at 8:18 pm #

            a terrible reminder
            why is vodka legal?
            its killed far more people than heroin and cocaine combined

          • avatar
            eekie | 5 January 2012 at 6:07 am #

            A truly horrific death. My dad (who wasn’t alcoholic, but did have hepatitis) died much the same way. He made it to the hospital, but they couldn’t stop the bleeding. He had a massive stroke and died within a few hours. It’s been almost 18 years and I still vividly remember blood everywhere, the pervasive metallic stench of it, and his terror.

  11. Jmb066
    Jmb066 | 4 January 2012 at 9:07 am #

    Steve,

    So sorry to hear about this, my father was an alcholic most of my childhood and it has left its mark. We are close today he has been sober for about 15 years now, I know we would be closer if he had not drank all of those years away, he does not remember much of my or siblings childhood and it is sad really. He has regret now but would not listen to anyone then. Hang in there and be there for your children they come first. Hopefully you can help your family member pull through this and enjoy your time with them before they regret it. I hope you can enjoy the attnetion that you and the band are getting right now, you have deserved it all along. Thanks for always being there for us and let us know what we can do to help.

    Take Care,

    Jason

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 4 January 2012 at 1:39 pm #

      Im sorry Jason, that had to be extremely difficult to share. I had alcoholic grandparents on both sides of my family and I remember little to nothing of them. Maybe my synapses has been able to forget any/all of their transgressions caused from it. For all those suffering, living or remembering such an environment – I am so sorry and I wish upon all of you the strength that it will take to continue to survive each day in such a torrential adversarial setting. I will take an extra moment and say a special prayer for all those existing in such a cruel surrounding. I am very sorry Steve, I wish I could break every bottle everywhere so this could never continue for you- any of you and your children to live thru.
      Again- so sorry for all of u, I hope and believe in the power of hope so i shall continue to ask the almighty to keep a watchful eye and intervene in the name of love so the hurt may subside for each and everyone of you.

      Dazza

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 4 January 2012 at 1:42 pm #

        it may not seem like much, but im sorry that is all I can do for all of you.

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 4 January 2012 at 4:41 pm #

          Hey-
          Please don’t think im a bible thumping holy-roller, who plays bingo as his only vice. I basically sit on the bed- cross legged and prepare my cd rotations because insomnia is a monster that fills my nights. Than I close my eyes and barely audible- I ask Almighty to watch over certain, specific, non-specific and so on and finish with a ‘amen’ . I don’t live by any exact religion or beliefs – they are more generalized not to offend anyone elses worship. Its pretty simply, yet straightforward. If any or all higher beings or state of consciousnesses is monitoring or moderating. They get the point. I live in a constant state of chronic pain…so I ask kindly to make it thru another day with hopes of restful sleep- than I pretty much incude many of you by name and in bunches.
          I know, from all these years enjoying and contributing to, this blog, that there are some who- not knowing a friggin thing about me- detest me for whatever reason, I used to care…now I just include you in my well wishes and hope for the best.
          TA-DAA …
          Actually not that difficult – try it sometime and stay
          consistent.

          AsAlways,
          Dazza

          • Jmb066
            Jmb066 | 5 January 2012 at 8:13 am #

            Thanks Darrin, I appreciate your kind words. I have been reading your post and so sorry to hear about your back pain it must be horrible. Hang in there and let the music heal you. Try to take your mind elsewhere and not think about. Easier said than done I know.

            Take Care,

            Jason

  12. avatar
    princey | 4 January 2012 at 9:08 am #

    Hope today is looking better for you sk, I was hoping you were having a happy new year so far, but from what you say, it seems to be getting harder for you and your family…sorry to hear that 🙁 Try and stay positive sk, you have plenty of shoulders to cry on out here, we all love and support ya 🙂
    xAmanda
    p.s the Isidore cd is a brilliant and beautiful album, well done to you and JC, love your work!

  13. avatar
    That Girl | 4 January 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Dam ,Steve we are only 4 days into it!. Goodness over evil always but sometimes the good guy gets shot. Don’t let the bastards win. Don’t sweat the finances there is money out there that you haven’t even earned yet. Your music,work is a major part of your life you are so fortunate that you love what you do. Lots of folk out there don’t have that luck,they wake up each day hating what they do. You are having a good ole me monment God knows we all have them myself included. It will get better ,I promise. Looking forward to great sounds you.
    P.S. As for the teeth will have to get back to you on that one!

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 January 2012 at 10:27 am #

    Two favourite quotes that I’m sure you are well aware of.

    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde.

    Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain. Unknown.

    Take care Mr K & Family.

  15. avatar
    Stewart | 4 January 2012 at 2:09 pm #

    I wish you comfort and peace. These lines are based upon a visualisation I have found helpful:

    May your feet feel planted well
    As you lean into the waves
    And stand your ground against the swell
    That turns cliffs into caves
    As the waters part around you
    To be exhausted on the shore
    May the fetters that had bound you
    Dissolve till they’re no more

  16. avatar
    captain mission | 4 January 2012 at 3:08 pm #

    i am your friend. if there is anything i can do i will.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 January 2012 at 5:06 pm #

    in my homeland they drink anything that burns
    how ironic that vodka has the same root as water (voda = water)
    i remember a cartoon from distant past in some newspaper — couples waiting in line in court for a divorce, and presiding was a giant bottle of vodka
    i once asked my dad why he was drinking — he couldn’t give me a reason
    which just infuriated him
    still don’t know what could possibly be a good reason
    and wonder if sometimes the addiction is hereditary
    because i think i might have it too but don’t let it unravel

  18. avatar
    Michel | 4 January 2012 at 6:19 pm #

    There is always a hope that an alcoholic person will stop drinking.
    But he (or she) needs love, sometimes beyond any possibilities of his (her) family and friends…

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 January 2012 at 7:50 pm #

    Of course alcohol in itself isn’t nasty horrid or anything.most people can a drink or 2 or more sometimes…its an individuals chemical reaction/ mental.emotional/spiritual response that shows what’s really going on .it is however a good way of shutting down .which for some is a self destructive.non nurturing .confused. confusing habit.and no substitute for self loving preservation….obviously.

  20. avatar
    veleska1970 | 4 January 2012 at 8:37 pm #

    i’m sorry about your troubles, steve. a thousand hugs to you.

  21. avatar
    Lara | 5 January 2012 at 6:10 am #

    Hmm, vodka. The drink designed to have no taste. Weird, isn’t that?

    Am sad that you’re feeling down; be kind to yourself.

    Love,

    L

  22. avatar
    hellbound heart | 5 January 2012 at 2:19 pm #

    Hmmm…I have a real issue with rum…
    In the years I was growing up, my brother was a chronic alcoholic who’d drink so much he’d go on binges of irrational (and often criminal) activity…of course when he sobered up he’d have little or no memory of it….
    I associate rum with the stench oozing from my brothers pores as he lay sleeping off yet another bender….
    Add to that a father who used to get on the piss fairly regularly, come home all hours of the night and participate in rounds of verbal and physical violence with my mother….
    looks like my dad has early stage dementia, which I don’t think was helped by his early years of boozing and my brother’s going to end up with a whole lot of nothing at his life’s end…..
    I know exactly where you’re coming from, how alcohol can tear families apart and how helpless you can feel….
    Peace and love to you…..

  23. avatar
    plumlady@gmail.com | 6 January 2012 at 4:34 am #

    My heart goes out to the individuals who still have to deal with the alcoholics in their lives. My father shot himself after struggling with alcoholism…I was 15…and found him with the bullet in his head. And that was after about 2 years of discussion about how he wanted to end his life because he couldn’t escape the bottle (most likely vodka if I can remember back that far). I remember as a teenager to have been relieved to finally be rid of him/that horrible shameful life we were leading. But now, as an adult, I miss him often and know that what he really needed was some help that would have worked for him beyond AA or being locked up…common back in 1973. I vowed to never marry an alocholic and I’m blessed that my children are not drunks; as I can’t imagine anything worse than that pain for a parent to endure. It’s so good that you are the strong parent Steve…..you perhaps can’t shelter your girls from all that they may see, but you can be their rock. Just like you are a rock for so many here; even when you’re weak and down; you’re still such a light in so many lives!


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.