posted on February 19, 2009 at 11:12 pm

i am he
here i am
in the west
get here
and we’ll do the rest
steve kilbey awoke before dawn
and he walked on down the hall
he took another face from the ancient gallery
and he walked on down the hall
i look in the mirror
see multiple mes
i hear my brain at work
calculating
subtracting its cut
i see my eyes watching me
i see the night has one thousand eyes
i see vishnu has one thousand names
i see there are one thousand ways to die
i see the fragile future tottering on an iffy past
i see moths turning into caterpillars
i see my ghost that haunts me down
i see radha walking away into the jungle
oh that sweet gopi lope
krishna waits in the darkness for his love
he feels the tingle of anticipation
he stands there a blue glow in the night
meanwhile in perth at the end of the earth
i guess i gotta sing for all i’m worth
voice from another room : not much….
yeah
i’m a singer…what the fuck does that mean?
you tell me
cos i dunno
i just ramble on n on
like a rambling rose
i just me with my constant fucking dialogue with myself
i sucked off into my brain
with my god given freckles n my wispy hair
crammed in here with my thousand other selves
i thrash around like a nasty eel
i smoke dope and its money for olde rope
i talk about marco bolan and king solomon
i revere the great masters and i disdain the vulgar hoi polloi
i walk thru my kingdom disguised as a medium man
i solve disputes and have villains beheaded
i go off to jerusalem and i go off to earlwood
i go off to north bondi and i go off to subiaco
i sing songs
i hammer them hard
i climb aboard them like ships
and crash down from the mast
i write the most beautiful songs about ugly things
i reconcile opposites
the way other people write shopping lists
i move amongst humanity practically unnoticed
i gimble and i gyre in the wabe
kiss my asana satan
i am everyman
i am earth
i am virgin
i am mother/father
i am since forever
never was a time you and i did not exist
the fourth of never…and thats a long long time
tonight i will walk on that stage
and out of my throat will fly seven larks
and out of each larks throat will fly seven songs
and from each song
seven notes in an octave
seven stars in seven skies
take the t outta steven n its seven
so i stand in my room in apt 7
and i ask myself seven times who i am
first
my reflection says
you are kilbey
second
you are man
third
you are spirit
fourth
you are almost outta time
fifth
you brought it all on
sixth
you are ordinary
seventh
you must be crazy talking to yourself in a mirror
i touch my reflections skin
i caress my own face
i recoil from my gaze
i touch my scars
i finger my wrinkles
i see death all over me like a monkey
i scratch my head
i hesitantly sing
to see if i still have a voice
my olde dried up dusty words
my ancient song of song of songs
(neil diamond : sing it out sing it strong)
oberon n titania sit in their bower cooing n oohing
poor lonely calypso down by the shore
stupid paris checking into to the sparta hilton
stupid helen running off in the night
stupid olde zeus fucking some swan
stupid olde world going round its stupid olde sun
we killed jesus
we killed king
we killed the baptist
we killed jfk n fucking bobby n marilyn
we killed time
we killed lilith
we killed al crowley
we killed steve kilbey
kill that character off they screamed
i turn to ricky
hes standing up the back playing guitar
boy im really proud of him
hes playing lead hes playing rhythm hes playing drums
hes playing with the triffids
i step up to fucking mike
i inhale deeply
i open my throat
i let the words come
i sing with my body
my mind tees it all up
my hands fly about like small fat birds
my vocal cords vibrate and rub
i enter my trance
i heat up
so hot in here
here in kilbeys body
im steaming up
i erupt in sweat
just like them jazz cats
them olde black jazz cats
sweating up a fucking storm
because of concentration
because they love music
and they love life
and it pours out of every pore
I AM
I AM
I AM!

28 Responses to “haphazard (lite)”

  1. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 20 February 2009 at 12:33 am #

    thank fuck it’s friday……
    love always…

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 12:59 am #

    nothing like an early morning frontal assault..eeek…i take it it went well.

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 1:09 am #

    n if one was to spell “Steven”correktly,{not forgetting the “double E”},it’d have seven letters,as well!;D xo

  4. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 20 February 2009 at 2:19 am #

    A climactic, mystical, intense and cathartic blog conceived, composed and executed by Steven John Kilbey. All killer no filler ! Rock On !!

  5. avatar
    matt davison | 20 February 2009 at 2:20 am #

    you sure are you sure are…..

  6. avatar
    Freddie | 20 February 2009 at 2:42 am #

    (sigh)
    xoxo

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 2:54 am #

    You are not a singer, you sing to be.
    You are not a sinner, you sin to see.
    You are not a contender, you are content to do.
    You don’t have content, the content has you.
    You are not a king, you take your throne as just a seat.
    You don’t deceive, you challenge truth.
    You are not old, you regenerate youth.
    You are not true, you lie amongst dreams.
    You are not a dream, you are anyone in the street.
    You are not anyone in the street, you are the angel in me
    And a man who sings love for free.

    The InKan – 2353.

  8. avatar
    PAGEY | 20 February 2009 at 3:01 am #

    I cannot begin to imagine even having the memory to deliver all those songs, step on pedals and pluck at that bass. I have enough trouble filling the ice cube trays….

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 4:16 am #

    Twas brillig and the slythey toves,did gyre and gymble in the wabe.All mimsy were the borogroves,and the mome wraths outgrabe.Beware the Jabberwock,my son.The jaws that bite,the claws that snatch.Beware the jub-jub bird,and shun the frumious bandersnatch……and as in uffish thought he stood,the jabberwock with eyes of flame,came whistling through the tulgey wood…and burbled as it came…one two,and through and through,the vorple blade went SNICKER SNACK.He left it dead,and with its head,he went galumphing back……..{rhubarb,rhubarb,rhubarb;/:)}….”and has thou slain the jabberwock?come to my arms,my beamish boy!oh frabjous day!Calloo calay!he chortled in his joy…twas brillig and the slythey toves,did gyre and gymble in the wabe.All mimsey were the borogroves,and the mome wraths outgrabe.:) have a brillig jig!!!peace and love,on this planet which is fortunate enough to have a free trip around the sun,each year.The perks are quite nice too!xxx

  10. avatar
    the dean | 20 February 2009 at 4:21 am #

    man it sounds like you’re cookin’,
    get on stage fast before your lark’s tongues end up in aspic.

  11. avatar
    Rehan | 20 February 2009 at 4:37 am #

    …and so you are
    and could be
    please be
    K I L B E Y

    Let it be!

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 5:39 am #

    we all give and we all take. you keep giving and you know that we will keep taking. yin-yang, love-hate, blessing-curse……yaddy diddy dada.

    not much of a shock but love the new stuff (as well as the old)…..and all the sycophanitic superlatives. you’ve been giving directly to me since 87 and i really enjoy taking from you. can’t see it any other way.

    still inspired under the texas moon.

  13. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 20 February 2009 at 6:15 am #

    ….you still getting uncharitable comments, steve? it’s a damn shame that you have to leave the comment moderation on because i don’t know about anyone else, it’s kinda isolating, ah the good ol’ days when we were able to have a bit of a chat to our fellow fiendsss….oh well…..
    love always……

  14. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 20 February 2009 at 8:03 am #

    “i erupt in sweat
    just like them jazz cats
    them olde black jazz cats
    sweating up a fucking storm
    because of concentration
    because they love music
    and they love life
    and it pours out of every pore
    I AM
    I AM
    I AM!”

    Cool ending to a great blog, which faces mortality and celebrates a zest for life.

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 8:08 am #

    Jesus Christ kilbey, you really have to look at each comment before posted? Lighten up my brother.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 8:52 am #

    i wont be commenting under my user name anymore.
    Still a big fan and will always be reading.(O;
    love
    m-a-r-k-o-b-e-a-r-s

  17. avatar
    catchow | 20 February 2009 at 11:08 am #

    Be!
    And the Singer sings his Song…(neil diamond)
    Steven,i wish you Seven times good
    luck for tonight and i’ll think of you !…

  18. avatar
    Martin | 20 February 2009 at 2:30 pm #

    One of the best blog-texts ever!
    Where do you buy them?

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 4:16 pm #

    Steeven, I enjoeed your blog todaey. 😉 xox

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 February 2009 at 7:26 pm #

    Steve, Pangaea is so beautiful. All you Time Being folks on here. If you don’t have Painkiller you can now download it from the Second Motion Records site for the low price of 10 bucks and get the new Church single. I just stumbled upon it via MySpace. Simply gorgeous stuff Steve. This weekend I’m gonna bong out to Painkiller:

    http://www.secondmotionrecords.com

  21. avatar
    knot | 20 February 2009 at 9:38 pm #

    build our palace out of rain
    water king and queen again
    suspended clouds take in every dream
    then birth them out in crystal

    in the silence between the raindrops or
    that menacing drum upon the windows
    the storm is brought in and pacified

    flashing

    absorbed into you
    and then the earth
    with sullen strength
    and last silver

  22. avatar
    EDD | 20 February 2009 at 11:14 pm #

    Going on my own gettaway! Not a gig but a mini-vacation! See ya in 3 days!

  23. avatar
    MEM | 20 February 2009 at 11:30 pm #

    i’ve
    always
    loved
    the west
    and its
    glimmering
    moments
    golden
    sun
    surrendering
    its
    light
    a
    horizon
    of
    sea
    a
    sight
    so vivid
    so inclusive
    you’d
    think
    we’d
    already
    killed
    killing
    by
    now…
    (little
    colony)

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 February 2009 at 12:01 am #

    Just found out that Smashing Pumpkins cover the Church playin Reptile live:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OosgSHpep9U&feature=related

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 February 2009 at 12:03 am #

    Just found out that Smashing Pumpkins cover The Church live:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OosgSHpep9U&feature=related

  26. avatar
    seoigh | 21 February 2009 at 12:59 am #

    T’would appear ye olde internets ate my last entry. There was some sort of error. Oh well.

    Anyhow.

    Good work, Steve. What you experiencing is shikantaza and don’t let any egomaniacal rinzai roshi tell you otherwise.

    The trick is living there. It will get easier when your kids get a little older. You have quite a lot more maya than most blokes your age. Stay strong.

    Hang in there. And do try to build some joriki. I hope yoga is enough to do it, but I fear zazen is really the only way to really do the heavy lifting.

    Keeping being you, you arrogant bastard.

    Peace.

  27. avatar
    princey | 21 February 2009 at 1:21 am #

    I think my comment from yesterday got “eaten” too…..hope it all went well last night sk.
    love amanda

  28. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 21 February 2009 at 1:22 am #

    I hate to disagree with the venerable Andy but I like the fact that Steve screens the comments. He allows constructive criticism.

    After all this time I’ve realized that Morrissey is an actor with great vocals. He sings about misery but eats the best vegetarian meals in rich Hollywood eateries. He’s a millionaire actor.


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