posted on January 14, 2007 at 8:29 pm

‘ere i am, then
waiting for my old age wisdom
munday morning 7 am
aurora gets out of bed
still half asleep
she looks like a giant rabbit
she tries to sit on my lap
sorry, girl
but im writing my blogg
she shrugs n goes back to bed
outside the omni-present mynah birds click n whistle
i imagine theyre organizing their days
(in an avian new jersey accent)
ok
we got a get a few birds down to the front garden
and sort out them pigeon mofos..frankie..you and beaky
take care of it
and…
what the fuck lenny…? those freakin’ seagulls…
i mean im sittin’ home in the nest last nite
eatin some worms, takin it easy
and my brother-in-law, peckah, comes over
and he tells me that some sea gulls just
got the last of that pizza we found….!!!??

anyway enuff of that
yesterday was argy bargy day
it wears me out
waste of time
i have been the most argumentative bastard ever
but now
i avoid em like the plague
like cigarettes or drunks
ya see when i was younger
so much younger than today
i thought that seeing
as i had a fast mind n i knew lotsa words
what better use to put it to than to argue
argue argue
argue-ments which usually became personal
but my nasty self loved to be let out of ‘is cage
and once he was running amok
it was hard to get him back under control
no i abhor arguments
i detest em
i loathe em
i try to walk away
i try to….
but i get reeled in
i get caught up in my own self righteous blather
my sly back-stabbing adjectival clauses
you wanna be taken apart n feel worthless…?
oh fly those winged words , never to be forgotten
those words you gonna live to regret
(kilbey pauses, eats a bunch of grapes
and ponders the pointless damage inflicted by
wagging tongues…his own, naturally
at the front of his many confused thoughts)
ive said so many stupid things..
so’s everybody
i guess
i wish i could hold my tongue
i wish i could speak always in constant measured quiet tones
i wish i could refrain from quick n nasty rejoinders
i wish i could ignore all the little implied insults
i wish i could heal rifts
i wish i could always think of sumfing fucking nice to say
or hold my bloody tongue if i cant
but yesterdays argy neither about or caused by me
i’s just one of the civilian casualties
caught in the fallout of an explosion of frustration
and a fallout of unresolved old malarkey
boo hoo
poor olde killer
hes too olde n tired for arguing anymore
and he wants out
but you dont walk away from king bicker like that…
so today
maybe
ah
its beyond my control
i’ll be contemplating the blue of infinity
behind my grey eyes
and thinkin’ of better times

people been writing that they enjoy being here
on my bloggepage and reading each others comments
i feel guilty cos that was never an intention
it accidentally happened..
while i was just mucking about with an online diary
probably aimed more at self aggrandizing than anything else
such is life
good things can come of bad things
as well as vice versa
if i write a song to make my self feel clever
or to make money
or just as an exercise in songwriting
and someone genuinely loves it..
what does that mean?
i used to say i took no responsibility for my songs
and i think thats still the case
what is a blogge
if not a long song
with no sound
and the words dont rhyme
and…
ok
i guess theyre completely different
i am thanking my subscribers
who put their money where their mouths were
and paid their olde pal
your contributions are appreciated
and i will keep trying to
keep you
satisfied
who knows
i may even do omething good…?

37 Responses to “hard n fast”

  1. avatar
    davem | 14 January 2007 at 8:39 pm #

    Hi SK.
    Sunday night in blighty. Wet, dark and miserable but then your latest post arrives and I feel much brighter.
    Almost everything you do is very satisying. No need for guilt, whatever your intent was we’re all here ‘cos you produce amazing stuff. The blog’s a bit like having a new Church/Kilbey release very day!!
    We love you killer!!!

    Dave M
    xx

  2. avatar
    Letter to the editor | 14 January 2007 at 9:11 pm #


    For immediate release, somewhere in the East:

    I’ve made the jump. Crossed the void. I’m hooked. Now wired. Connected. Activated. Interneted. Downloadable. And, yes, maybe even upgradeable. I hereby pledge to 1. post to my and other blog(s) I find worthy with a more regular and somewhat consistent basis. 2. write like a mothafuka 3. conceal and/or reveal my own intentions, personalities, ego, etc. 4. maintain opinion open to possibility either through subversion or continual introspection. 5. dismantle and re-convert all subtexts 6. go one step further than I believe, accept, or think I cannot. 7. invoke genius, a pastiche of raw ideocracy, perhaps primal, but never trite, tactless, or demure.

    On this day I do swear to this,
    and all else that avoids me this moment
    Mark Ezra Merrill

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 January 2007 at 9:29 pm #

    so you think you have it rough, try living with me lady’s personality disorder, me am bout to move out once again…
    mjnjr

  4. avatar
    mattdavison | 14 January 2007 at 9:32 pm #

    an unhappy state of mind can caus argy-barg. frustration, Ive been doin a lot of it lately, but the end resolve is that you are left with is ya self..internal argueing is the worst.
    it’s a real waste of time.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 January 2007 at 9:41 pm #

    No guilt allowed! Why would you feel guilty that we’re happy to be here, and like to see what our fellow fiends are saying?? Your little bloggy experiment turned out quite well I’d say!

    Sorry about Day o’ Argy Bargy. I have had a quick and vicious tongue and there are so many stupid, stupid things I wish I could unsay as it were. I avoid arguments now too – partly out of weariness and partly because I’m afraid that little fire will be lit and who knows what I’ll say because I used to be a shy little wallflower and then something strange happened and I can easily turn into a real nasty biatch pretty fast. What do you do when someone else wants to argue? Walk away, hang up the phone. Unless….

    Unless of course you’re on a jumbo jet about to take off…here’s Denise’s “How To Almost Get Kicked Off a Plane Without Even Raising Your Voice or Saying One of the Seven Dirty Words Story”…this is still not an amusing story to me and probably never will be…(read if you want, skip if ya want)…I was flying back east to visit my brother for Thanksgiving and we were mistakenly assigned the wrong seats on the plane by the baggage handler guy – which we didn’t realise until we were on the plane (lesson #1 – never stupidly assume people are going to do their jobs correctly). You see when I purchase a plane ticket in August, and I am assured of certain seats on said plane, and then am given horrible OTHER seats in late November on actual plane, I speak up – quietly, but firmly, so I get what I paid for.

    Well, some little merry ^#*%%(@ power-deprived male flight attendant was NOT going to disturb the people currently sitting in OUR seats and I didn’t understand WHY they couldn’t be disturbed but *we* were going to be inconvenienced for almost 5 hours with already-paid for, now totally wrong seats…I never raised my voice, never threatened him or anyone (I wouldn’t do this anyway but on a plane? Am I f-in insane or STUPID??), never said a personally-insulting thing to him – but this merry #%*%&#% flight attendant IMMEDIATELY threatened to throw me off the plane OUT OF NOWHERE!!! I was so stunned and shocked it was like time stood still. I quitely said “That’s not necessary, I know this is not your fault, and I don’t understand why it can’t be dealt with…” This PSYCHO was itching – ITCHING to throw someone off that plane and man, it was MY DAY! He must’ve told me 2 or 3 more times he was gonna have me physically removed, put on another flight, etc. I was so tired and strung out I literally was brought to tears; the more I tried to reason with him and even start APOLOGIZING TO HIM the more insane he became. I thought, oh my god, I’ve turned into Courtney Love and I’m not even drunk, famous or rich or a member of a rock band. I’m not even doing anything wrong other than asking politely for what I paid for. But I could see he was deadly serious…he wanted to fight and wanted to exert his tiny, pathetic bit of power in his pathetic little life. I could see the headlines “School teacher kicked off flight for making terror threats – couldn’t get requested window seat.”

    Long story short – he must have been Head Flight Attendant because in front of him the other attendants did nada – but later all other flight attendants kept telling us they were so sorry about it, it shouldn’t have been handled like that…he shouldn’t have done that…comping us this and that – literally throwing little bottles of liquor at us. Yeah, wonderful.

    Moral of story: If someone wants to argy bargy on a 767, you’re probably gonna lose, no matter what you do. 🙂
    love,
    denise
    xxoo

  6. avatar
    fantasticandy | 14 January 2007 at 10:05 pm #

    crikey! argy-bargy came my way too only yesssterday.dinna wannit,didnna need it,didnee see it commin’.took a deep,deep breath and took a page from that ole sage esskay’s teachings.
    detachment.
    detachment.
    detachment.
    ohmygod!
    it saw me through.
    thanks sk,really.
    oh,p,s. shameless plug time.
    new video of us jamming in my garage at:http://www.myspace.com/dudesofneptun
    e

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 January 2007 at 10:17 pm #

    oh, steve~~i don’t think there is anyone walking around right now who hasn’t been guilty of a little “argy”….i know there’s been more than just a few times that i’ve inflicted my own acid tongue on somebody, whether they had it comin’ to them or not. but, it’s a new day, and whoever you argued with yesterday has probably gotten over it, and so should you. 🙂

    “who knows
    i may even do omething good…?”
    i say you already have and are continuing to do so. you’ve unwittingly created a little community of fiendss here, as you admitted. i don’t think anybody could have known it would take off like it did. i do know that i’m sure glad to be here!! please don’t feel guilty. this experience has been what’s known as a “happy accident.”

    lotza love….

  8. avatar
    annikajones | 14 January 2007 at 10:20 pm #

    Words, when you send them into the world like this, regardless of the reason why, will take on a life of their own. And if they along the way inspire people, make people think, or make people happy, or sad, or angry… or any other thing… then that’s a good thing. Isn’t it?

    Hah, I like this comment box, btw. “Choose your identity” it says. 🙂 I like that. Who do I want to be today? Hmmm.

  9. avatar
    damien | 14 January 2007 at 10:25 pm #

    Now we’ve been tantalized.

    Come on, Steve. How about at least a hint of the nature of yessaday’s argy-bargy?

    ’twasn’t discord in the ranks of The Chrunch, was it?

    I share your feelings about arguments. Almost always futile. When two (or more) people are arguing it’s like the immovable object and the irresistable force.

    I also wish I could keep my big yap shut more than I do!

  10. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 14 January 2007 at 10:35 pm #

    Sometimes people that don’t cause a little “argy bargy” are boooring. I prefer a lil’ jackass over a lot of blahhhh..or something…lovz yer blog, duh. It and you never cease to amaze and amuse me.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 January 2007 at 10:50 pm #

    Oh no, I hope the Church are still coming to Melby on Sunday, I’m not driving all that bloody way if you’re not going to be there!!

    See you then I hope!

    Love Amanda

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 January 2007 at 11:00 pm #

    “Did you want to have one argument or are you thinking of taking a course?” Always loved the Monty Python skit about arguments.

    Never knew what argy bargy meant – always just thought it was the title of a Squeeze album! Shows you I’m a real dumb American.

    Steve – I’ve emailed you a song I heard today (cleaning the pool listening to ipod on shuffle) and the words immediately made me think of you. It’s Beauregarde’s Retreat by Johnny Hickman (guitarist for Cracker). It has a country feel but it is just such a make you feel good song (especially considering yesterday’s blog) I thought I’d send it along)…it’ll come from emailes2002@yahoo.com to your gmail account. Ignore it if you like but then I’m not responsible…

    ed in fl

  13. avatar
    verdelay | 14 January 2007 at 11:02 pm #

    Chap to YWEH: Look at yonder wonders you’ve created for us! Praise da Lord!

    YWEH to Chap: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

    Not all consequences are intended, doncha know?

  14. avatar
    verdelay | 14 January 2007 at 11:02 pm #

    Chap to YWEH: Look at yonder wonders you’ve created for us! Praise da Lord!

    YWEH to Chap: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

    Not all consequences are intended, doncha know?

  15. avatar
    the dean | 14 January 2007 at 11:08 pm #

    I’ve just listened to After Everything acoustic and it is a beautiful piece of music. For whatever motive generated it the result does truely bring some joy to this world. Singing this song must seperate you from the tedium that created it. The creative force is both a blessing and a curse.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 January 2007 at 11:54 pm #

    just breathe

  17. avatar
    restaurant mark | 15 January 2007 at 1:04 am #

    once again veleska’s nailed it…we all say shitty things. i’m a total smartass, no doubt…usually in a funny nice way…but get me going and like i’ve said before, the tongue is sharp. i used to love a good debate (argument), but now…they just take so much out of me…wasted energy.
    i love our little colony…whether accidental or not. and you, mr. kilbey…you’re always doing something good…all of that music, the paintings, the blog, the play that apparently you did just fine in…remember all that stuff? keep pushing yourself, of course, but your work is certainly appreciated…good is not a problem for ya.

  18. avatar
    ambnt1 | 15 January 2007 at 1:19 am #

    Steven,

    Are you as good a typist as a bassist? How many w.p.m. do you type? I dunno what made me think of this, but some of your blogs are pretty long so you must be quite a finger-flying type-ist (I mean, no two finger, one hour to type three sentences kind of typist). When you write lyrics do you type ’em or write by hand? Just wondering…

    –Chris

    n.p. Alio Die, “The Flight of Real Image” (a pre-“Suspended Feathers” masterpiece)

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 1:21 am #

    thank you for your time
    on this page
    on your blog
    i love your turns of phrase
    and was wondering where “argy bargy” came from?
    i’m guessing from 20 century london
    but can you illuminate

    and now
    these are not my words but theyre 4 you today:

    may the nourishment of the earth be yours
    may the clarity of light be yours
    may the fluency of the ocean be yours
    may the protection of the ancestors be yours

    and so may a slow
    wind work these words
    of love around you
    an invisible cloak
    to mind your life

    xxx

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 1:59 am #

    Instead of arguing you should sing Paul Kelly’s ‘if I could start today again’ to yourself.

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 2:05 am #

    Hope you guys get it sorted out , after so many years of grind y’all prob think that theres not much at stake but there really is a lot at stake.
    The Pretenders tour doesnt HAVE to be that bad.

    Dutch Pierre

  22. avatar
    stealthblue | 15 January 2007 at 2:26 am #

    Yeah, apparently I have quite the diabolical tongue when I want to, and sometimes I feel pretty shitty about what I have said or if I may have crossed any lines drawn up etc. Usually, I enjoy building people up, but if they do not deserve it, well that is a different story altogether. But that is life I suppose, we all take the good with the bad. Sometimes, I just feel compelled to pipe up, not that it is my desire to police anybody or anything, but sometimes it seems necessary to “make people aware” of their stupidity. Let’s face it, none of us are perfect, but there are some REAL dumb mofos out there meandering the same streets and public systems we all have to utilize. Sometimes I get so fucked-off when I witness certain things and I just HAVE to say something, despite any risk of a real fight or having a knife or gun pulled etc. Yeah, that could suck (to say the least!), but I do try to sniff out and assess the situation before I lay into anyone. Sometimes, it is just none of my business, but when it involves my personal space or someone I care about, or any other innocent…fuggetabout it! I do try to be “diplomatic”, but sometimes….whew! I have made people feel about a quarter inch tall at times, especially when someone’s personal safety is a stake, OR, the other thing that gets me is when complete ignorance is at play and other cattle are just too afraid to confront anyone. When it’s over, I usally feel rotten and completely drained. I do NOT like confrontations and I too try to avoid squabbles and such with my loved ones especially, because my wife, for example, never deserves to be belittled or screamed at by a raging husband or any other lunatic for that matter. Steve, it must be a Virgo thing…you know how to use it, but God knows you don’t like to. Some people just like to fight, and that is too bad for them I think. Sometimes it is just better to walk away or ignore a possible ill situation. You are correcto about that.

    Regarding this “happy accident” of your blog and commentors…it is pretty cool, no? I personally feel blessed that I get to “know you” a little better as well as our little TB community here. Anyway, hope you are having a groovy day…all of you.
    Peace and Love,
    Ben V.

  23. avatar
    JJ | 15 January 2007 at 4:07 am #

    I dunno…some people deserve a good verbal filleting. Actually, I’ve enjoyed reading some of your rejoinders from performances, etc. We hadda guy in high school, much smarter than the teachers, and oooh… he could catch ’em making the most illogical, stupid and indefensible statements. It was all entertaining and somewhat empowering for us to witness “the kid” verbally filleting the powers-that-be. Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone. Some feared him. The intelligent ones did not.

    I admire yer tongue. Love to hear it “wag” on the blogge. Keep it flapping and unflappable. But – easy on the ones ya love.

  24. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 15 January 2007 at 4:12 am #

    “no i abhor arguments
    i detest em
    i loathe em
    i try to walk away
    i try to….”

    “With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but with tyrants, I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost. “ William Lloyd Garrison

  25. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 15 January 2007 at 4:53 am #

    “i thought that seeing
    as i had a fast mind n i knew lotsa words
    what better use to put it to than to argue
    argue argue”

    “Once you’ve gotten the meaning, you can forget the words.” Chuang Tzu

  26. avatar
    jeanz | 15 January 2007 at 5:11 am #

    I start giggling in the middle of a heavy argument. Whats wrong with me?

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 7:19 am #

    Steven, you shouldda been a diplomat! (not the motel variety 🙂

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 12:06 pm #

    what is a motel variety diplomat?

  29. avatar
    eek | 15 January 2007 at 12:08 pm #

    Hope the argy bargy slows down for you. People do need to blow off steam sometimes, but most arguments don’t end up solving anything and just breed more resentment. Plus they are exhausting.

    Loved your translation of the mynah birds conversations! 🙂

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 12:27 pm #

    The Diplomat Motel in St Kilda, (Melbourne) was where a lot of bands stayed in the ’80’s. Maybe like a Motel 8 if you’re from that part of the world. If you’re Australian, it was a Flag Inn… not exactly 5 star accomodation.

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 12:41 pm #

    10-4 10:54

  32. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 15 January 2007 at 1:51 pm #

    The cost of anger
    Back in the 1700’s there was a British physician called John Hunter. He had a very bad temper and, not surprisingly, suffered from a heart disorder called angina pectoris. And he had a habit of remarking: “My life is at the mercy of any scoundrel who chooses to put me in a passion”.

    This proved quite prophetic. At a meeting of the board of St. Georges Hospital in London he became involved in a heated argument, walked out, and dropped dead…

  33. avatar
    nic | 15 January 2007 at 3:16 pm #

    don’t feel guilty SK – YOU are the main course and dessert – we are all fully fledged addicts – well, OK I’ll speak for myself here – I SO look forward to your daily blogg – you make me smile.
    and we also get the little after dinner mint – of being part of a “little community of fiends” – ‘happy accident’indeed’! x

  34. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 15 January 2007 at 3:44 pm #

    Stove’s Discovery of the Worst Argument in the World
    In 1985, Australian philosopher David Stove (1927-94), ran a Competition to Find the Worst Argument in the World. In his marking scheme, half the marks went to the degree of badness of the argument, half to the degree of its endorsement by philosophers. Thus an argument was sought that was both very bad, and very prevalent.

    He awarded the prize to himself, for the following argument (Stove, 1995)

    The argument – really a family of arguments – which I had in mind as the worst, was the following :

    “We can know things only

    as they are related to us

    under our forms of perception and understanding

    in so far as they fall under our conceptual schemes etc.

    So

    We cannot know things as they are in themselves.”

    If there is a worse argument than this, I am still to learn of it. This argument has imposed on countless philosophers, from Kant to the present hour, yet is very hard to beat for awfulness.

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 January 2007 at 7:09 pm #

    ar·gy-bar·gy Pronunciation (ärg-bärg)
    n. pl. ar·gy-bar·gies Chiefly British Slang
    A lively or disputatious discussion.
    [Scots, reduplication of argie, argument, from argue.]

  36. avatar
    davem | 15 January 2007 at 8:24 pm #

    And it’s a pretty fab album by Squeeze.

  37. avatar
    John Garratt | 16 January 2007 at 9:39 pm #

    “i feel guilty cos that was never an intention
    it accidentally happened..
    while i was just mucking about with an online diary
    probably aimed more at self aggrandizing than anything else”

    You really do worry too much.

    John


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