posted on October 9, 2007 at 12:40 am

deep dream
im flying
some lovely sky
some lovely time
i soar over the marshes and the towns
all i know is an all-pervading happiness
i understand this is …the real life, at last
connected yet free i drift over the land and sea
and i wondered what it was i wanted to remember
and i couldnt think of it at all
and i grasped at some truth to bring back with me
but everything was the truth
i could not break it into smaller bits
a noise from the outside world
was softly shattering my flight
terri girl
shes opened the car door
shes talking to you
i cant believe you arent really hungry
i am you say
im real hungry
how was your night in the car? she says
oh god im aching all fucking over you say
cmon she says taking your hand in the early dawning
we’re gonna have breakfast with toby twirl and his family
we walk along through a grove of trees
and paddocks with placid cows
although only vegetarian for 2 years
i have never regretted my decision
when i look into these animals big brown eyes
who could hurt a creature like this
we climb up a hill in the cloudy morning misty rain
already below us
trucks have arrived with amplifiers and lights and pa systems
a thousand kombis full of crazy ravers
tents being set up
outdoor sanitation (i had never seen these before)
people setting up stalls selling veg food
we come to little wooden home made house
with stained glass windows and wind chimes tinkling
some classic hippy opens the door
of about 45 or 50
i dont know
suntanned white bearded dressed in white
a sorta english accent or something
his face brightens when he sees terri
sweet young thing that you are, terebinthia he says
toby twirl she says as he embraces her
i hate to intrude on this moment
i fade back into the doorway
steve this is toby my godfather says terri
toby twirl used to be a musician back in the day
now hes retired and lives in this fantastical little house
with his wife and family
come in come in he says
he shakes my hand and smiles
oh i like this guy immediately
ive heard of him too
i have 2 of his records at home
and i saw him on gtk once
toby taught my brother to play bass and surf whispers terri
as we’re ushered into the kitchen
a slim blonde woman is cooking up some pears
she turns round and smiles
hi terri
renee this is steve says terri
hi steve she says
shes american says toby
in case you were wondering….
tobys brood of kids appear
all daughters of several different sizes
i get introduced
and little blue
tobys kitchen window looks out over the countryside
gods own countryside
green green grass and mountains wreathed in low clouds
little twisted trees and funny little houses
hills and dales
so far from canberra and its backyards
and its townplanning and artificial lake
from its philistine yobbos
who wouldnt know a genius from a fool
they wouldnt know that a genius could be a fool either
because i was a fool who wanted to be a genius
or was it vice versa
the truth is that on this particular day
i was neither fool nor genius
just a skinny guy with long long hair and a sunburnt nose
dressed in a grandpa t shirt
i bought in surfers paradise 2 years ago
and the inevitable levis
i sat there quite dazzled by the bohemianess of it all
congratulating myself that i was here
but nervous i was gonna do something very un-hippylike
im reading t lobsang rampa i say to toby
and how are you getting along with that young man ?he said
i almost astral travelled the other night i say
everyone including the kids laughs at this
little blue the baby laughs along with the others
renee serves the pears
oh delicious i say
theres all these sultanas in there with the pears
theyre all swollen up sweet n warm
bursting inside your mouth
like the tiny grapes they once were
terri and i have 2 bowls
after breakfast toby and i wash up n dry
while renee and terri go off to another room
i hear them giggling and screaming
instinctively i know its about me and im embarrassed
toby is a cool guy for an old bloke
we talk about the music biz as he rinses the plates
in his little hippy kitchen in the early seventies
when such things were still possible
and i stood there drying up the dishes
and he told me where to put them
that terri is a lovely girl he says presently
yeah she is i sigh
toby rolls his after breakfast joint
i’d never been stoned in the day before
and i just sat there with my head spinning around and around
tobys dope made him talkative
and he began a long stoned ramble
which was impossible to unravel
the truth
the fabrications
the exaggerations
the pure fucking bullshit
what did it matter?
what did i care?
my mind was blown open over and out
toby twirl had an amazing wildean vocabulary
which he brandished at his enemies like a mace
and with which he flattered his friends in honeyed tones
his sentences were liberally strewn with names of stars
names of drugs
names of 2 bit journalists
names of ex wives and girlfriends
(seemed to be a few)
names of the cats hed played with
names of the fuckin’ publishers agents and managers
who screwed him (as he put it)
toby had met george harrison
hed taken acid with brian jones
hed hitch hiked with bolan in france
hed sold this many records in 1965
(a million years ago to me)
he met this chick at a festival
and made a film
and got arrested
and he did jiu jitsu now
and he had a degree
he was big in america in some places only
only the east and west coast he said ruefully
he didnt drink much he said
nor do i i said
the smell of beer frightened me
my mum and dad didnt hardly ever drink
i didnt like it and i associated beer with violence and philistines
i avoided drunks and drunk places
good thinking …toby said behind his beard
ive seen a lotta good cats fuck up on the sauce….
steve do you like to trip ? he asked
i felt the hand of fear clutch my guts tight
a cold frightened feeling shivered right up my spine
and my chakras went dark
i had never tripped
i didnt really want to
being stoned on pot was more than i could already handle
the stained glass writhed in the new sunlight that was pouring in
the motes of dust danced purposefully in the rays
everything in here was buzzing moving vibrating
i felt on the verge of some huge discovery
the secret of creation
pot was enough
i couldnt bear any more poignancy than this
i didnt want to trip
this was enough
yes i said
i love it i lied
toby poked around in his pantry a bit
he came back with something wrapped in brown paper
whats that? i say
toby shakes his head and smiles
gold tops!
inside the paper was 4 or 5 mushrooms
looking singularly unappetizing
oh toby i cant
oh no toby theyre yours
i couldnt
mate, ive got plenty growing out there he said
pointing to the undulating greeness outside his windows
he wrapped them again and put them in my hand
how could i say no to this man?
i accepted the mushrooms
thank you i said
thank you very much
take them with her toby said
who? i stupidly said
terri of course he said

34 Responses to “hb7 (la vrai vie)”

  1. avatar
    Centuryhouse | 9 October 2007 at 3:00 am #

    I’m still enjoying these tawdry tales of truth & fiction, very well done (again).

    Were you really reading Lobsang Rampa when you were 19??? Wow, it was a decade later for me before I got into anything like that.


  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 3:02 am #

    I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist a trip ttb!
    Awwww….you and Terri taking magic mushies together, now aint that a sweet twist to this story! Can’t wait for HB8!
    LOVE & peace to u sk,

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 3:11 am #

    I have been away for a few days…a family road trip…to the the most circular capital city in the world….Canberra says hi, SK, and no hard feelings.


  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 6:27 am #

    life imitating art imitating life imitating dreams imitating wishful thinking imitating life –
    nice genre you’ve cooked up there sk.
    ooooh and i can’t wait to hear about tripping with terri.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 7:23 am #

    very witty watson…….youre scaring me…..but youre very witty x

  6. avatar
    markobears | 9 October 2007 at 7:43 am #

    weed causes great anxiety in me. I will never trip after smoking again!!

  7. avatar
    friends,romans,and countrymen | 9 October 2007 at 7:47 am #

    can i borrow Terri’s ears?…I need something to place on the mantlepiece,next to the jalapeno mushrooms,cowz,and brumbies…..Terri zearz offfffffff…..oooooh that’s a bit trippy!:-))) ;-))) ;-/

  8. avatar
    NICE PEAR! | 9 October 2007 at 8:35 am #

    gotta be done with -a cinnamon stick,a few cloves,a little bit of orange zest,vanilla bean,brown sugar,and topped with roasted,flaked almonds….yes?….xxA

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 9:29 am #

    who’d have thought it? mushrooms?we had them growing like mad in the paddock of the house where i grew up…usually at dusk or dawn,youd see or hear giggling,and the rumble of a combi,on the dirt road{well it was back then anyway{…and then anywhere between 1 and 100 wild children,hippies,caftan clad,trippers would descend apon the lower paddock…my dad,as seriously straight as he was,used to just wave at them,and say “take em all if you want them”..had a dear friend in the next valley to mine..she was the mad eccentric mother of a boy i went to school with..her name was nena..she was english aristocracy{gone wrong}..a mad gypsy woman,in a fairy tale style cabin in the forest,on the hill,in the valley..her house was full of lovely old things,and she had a clydsdale,and gypsy wagon..shed stand in the kitchen,as she was making tea,her bob dylan shirt,her insane bright red afro{which stood out about a foot,i swear,it was outrageous!}and swear like a trouper,as she reminisced about the 70’s n 60’s,in the hippy communes and the hare krishnas commune in nimbin,or was it mullimbimby?she was a fascinating character,and i spent alot of time with her,kinda as a mother figure..we used to tell stories,and do arty things,and magic together…man! did she have my number though..”Genevieve!”she’d say strongly and slowly,when she knew that i was teasing her son…when a woman like that uses your full name,you know you are about to get your psyche disected,and slightly re-arranged{until the next time,of course{..funnily,she went blind,about 3 years after me…she died 2 years ago{it was so very sad}and she wore,at her send off,at her prior request,a traditional hungarian gypsy outfit,complete with flower wreaths in her hair…what an amazing woman…i used to call her my fairy godmother..bless you nenie,wherever you are tonight,my lady!..and yes,we used to trip!…bring on HB8 sk,i’m liking these stories very much..the strike the nostalgia vein for me..and that can only be a good thing …you are a beautiful writer sir! have a lovely night,and thank you sk!…love,as always,gen xxxxx

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 10:46 am #

    p.s. did i say aristocracy gone wrong?i do believe it was more of a case of “aristocracy gone right!”…love,gen x

  11. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 9 October 2007 at 11:37 am #

    What is the blue car and who is driving it? The boy or the man? The man escapes – rewinds into youth via the blue car. Does the blue car symbolise – sadness? The loss of the beauty, excitement & innocence of youth? What is the drug offer/seduction scene about? Is it loss of innocence along with fear – fear of going forward into the future of manhood? Do we now bare witness to the boy becoming the …………..Ah sweet pathos….

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 11:46 am #

    Never having had the slightest curiousity about drugs and always walking off when others have brandished em, this says nothing to me. Soz.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 11:58 am #

    Ah Gen still reguritating the same ol stories.your elucidations if not imaginations of your past are
    well lets be honest

  14. avatar
    restaurant mark | 9 October 2007 at 12:09 pm #

    great stuff again…dig the stories…keep having to play catch up, but that’s fine. can’t wait to hear about the mushroom trip. take care man.


  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 12:16 pm #

    i swear that it must have something to do with the proximity of the first part of australia to see the new day (mount warning) and/or the most eastern part of this continent (byron bay), there are times when you don’t even have to imbibe any substances to feel like you’re tripping…i must agree with you steve that there are some really beautiful and interesting people around here…
    thankyou for sharing with us your journey to new horizons…can’t wait until tomorrow…
    love always, always, always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  16. avatar
    veleska1970 | 9 October 2007 at 12:35 pm #

    poetry in motion. thanks.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 12:37 pm #

    Lobsang Rampa? Nice read, even though he turned out to be a plumber from Liverpool knowing all you ever needed to know about Tibetan matters. More my cup of tea at that age was “The Politics of Ecstasy” by Timothy Leary combined with all these wonderous pills of grandeur and adventure!

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 12:43 pm #

    anonymoux at 9:58 …pull the carrot outta your arse sweetheart!The foliage is tres unbecoming!

  19. avatar
    Candy | 9 October 2007 at 1:49 pm #

    Sweet SK. . sweet you rock,and sweet you roll . sweetest dreams,they come true,when you wish sweetly upon a * . LOVE .x

  20. avatar
    Cee | 9 October 2007 at 2:13 pm #

    starry design

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 October 2007 at 2:32 pm #

    beautiful entry,as always SK. sounds like a perfect little house to me!the image you convey exudes such warmth,and peace,but still with an air of excitement,and high notes of magic.the fresh air ,is something i can feel,and its making me sleepy.times for dreams,thats what it is,time for dreams SK.lovely one …./jb x

  22. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 9 October 2007 at 2:49 pm #

    Sk’s on a roll. In 1972 I was still eating burnt hamburgers. These days I have a PETA t-shirt that says don’t eat cows.

    News Note: Surprisingly impressive speach by David Cameron at the Tory party Conference. A green Tory. An oxymoron. Hillary Clinton will be America’s next President.

  23. avatar
    Bill (...of Rights) | 9 October 2007 at 3:05 pm #

    Not if we can get Ron Paul elected. Las Vegas oddsmakers (who are NEVER wrong about presidential elections) have said Ron Paul is the only candidate who can beat Clinton. He is also the only electable ANTIWAR candidate period. If you disagree with this statement you are a fool who has NOT emerged from the fake left-right paradigm. Clinton will keep troops in Iraq and invade Iran. Ron Paul will bring them home immediately, all of them home, from Iraq, Germany, Saudi Arabia. Read about Ron Paul, he raised more money than McCain and Romney last quarter. He is Libertarian, the same priciples as the founders. True grassroots sensation. Look out New World Order, we’re coming after you.

  24. avatar
    JONNY NOT YET SO HOLLYWOODISH | 9 October 2007 at 5:31 pm #

    HB7, sounds like ‘a’ new drug to me, eye want some…

  25. avatar
    the other night the true story of truth and my meager state of weeping into the booze | 9 October 2007 at 5:31 pm #

    the message is transmitted o-music
    my child your music
    like this like the time before
    before last night the stars
    did you see venus, the aura borealis
    the gentle deer who came to watch
    me for a moment
    and it was i it was you and i watched
    the sky until you
    disapeared into your light
    the song your wrote the night before
    the one you wrote
    that i have never heard
    the one that knows ever heart
    by every hand
    until it is done and the
    universal sound
    sounds no more

  26. avatar
    davem | 9 October 2007 at 6:55 pm #

    Shadows in the smoke whispering everywhere.

  27. avatar
    CSTCoach | 9 October 2007 at 9:44 pm #

    hey sk,

    a quick note from stockholm. had a fucking great dinner at herman’s vegetarian tonight as per your advice. best meal i’ve had so far this trip, light and energizing, alive, and with a beautiful view of skansen and back to gamla stan. off to marseille in the morning, to search out the ghost of lawrence durrell in provence…

    stay well druid 🙂


  28. avatar
    fantasticandy | 9 October 2007 at 10:21 pm #

    that kitchen scene…the bit about the light diffusing through the window.
    andy L.

  29. avatar
    Nickf | 10 October 2007 at 12:12 am #

    go to sleep now …..go on dream away..

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 October 2007 at 12:20 am #

    …and i hope,and i dream,and i pray……x

  31. avatar
    rubikon | 10 October 2007 at 1:12 am #

    I was always a little partial to a few mushrooms (they grow in abundance in Old South Wales where I come from).

    They should be compulsory for everyone!!

    I’m with you Steve on booze/alcohol – it’s never done anything for me, Oh, and Speed – took it once! many years ago – bloody horrible stuff.

  32. avatar
    little conversations | 10 October 2007 at 2:13 am #

    i wish to waffle waffle waffle,…with maple syrup,and ice cream x 😉 :-)ha-ha=ha-ha mmm..yes please!

  33. avatar
    Sam Sejavka | 10 October 2007 at 3:11 am #

    Toby Twirl? The very twee kids’ character from ancient times and a favourite of Polly. We have ‘the Imp of Mischief’& ‘The Weeping Dragon.

  34. avatar
    steve kilbey | 10 October 2007 at 3:23 am #

    impeccable taste you got sam

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.