posted on October 24, 2006 at 8:09 pm

few people know that from 1977 to 1979
i was the bass player n marimba player
for
hubba bridge n the manly fairies
australias greatest unsung space rock band/collective
hubba was the leader
now doubt about that
he was the singer and gong-player
i can see him now
a tie-dyed 3 button grandpa tshirt
hi-waisted anti-lope flares
scuffed beatleboots
his ho chi minh beard dipping n diving in the breezes
hubba came from a long line of hippies n freaks
his mum had studied under steiner
his dad had been in cuba with che g
his big sister had been a girlfriend of some big band
his grandma had dated al. crowley briefly
anyway
hubba didnt care that spacerock was passe by the late seventies
he’d hadda peak experience list’nin to space ritual
whilst on pot acid peyote dmt stp x y and z
man, hubba could do all the stage announcements too
how he used to make us laugh
bursting into the commune teepee at 4 in the morning
high on datura and screaming
beware of sonic attack!
hubba had assembled a wilde crew as his space cohorts
ian “negative’ farquar played guitar n calliope
he also fucked around with these cut up tapes
splicing up
houston we have a problem
with
cows mooing
he said it was kinda atom heart mothery
on drums was gas
gas was a laughing gas freak
his dad was dentist
n gas had an endless supply
he had frizzy ginger hair down to his arse
and a girlfriend who dealt purple heads n angelfruit
boy he could lock into a space groove
and nail it for hours
sometimes high on the gas
gas would mix up his drums
and play the cymbal parts on the bass drum
and the bass on the snare etc etc
this sometimes threw the rest of us into a great confusion
but hubba used to say
no worries ….its just cosmic confusion
on keyboards was jerry mac hoota
who had a mellotron and a moog
and a thing that went
fffssshhhheeewwwzzzzzzzzsshheeeewwwwfffffffssss
put an echo on that
and it symbolised the rush of deep space
jerry hadda day job unfortunately
to pay off all his expensive equipment
and most time he missed gigs n rehearsals
hubba called him a capitilist bastard
which was kinda harsh
cos jerry was stacking cans of beans at woolworths
anyway eventually hubba took over payments on the thing
that went fffsshheewwsszzzffsseeeww
and we just turned it on at the start of the gig
and let it run all the way through
brian “salad” simmons was our woodwinds man
he was a terrible player
but after you put his flute n sax
through all those pedals
it didnt matter
salad was like the thing that went fffssshhheeewwwwwsssheeezzzz
he was constant bubbling burping babbling racket
giving the impression of intergalactic hyperdrive
hubba n salad had been mates for ages
hubba had a kid with salads sister narelle
the kid used ta come on stage and bang a tambourine
during
“the crossing of the synapse( part 2)”
we’d only played that one once
at a uni gig
the students had been promised a”new wave” act
the plastic pants
when the pants didnt turn up
hubba n the fairies were booked at the last moment
accidentally
the plastic pants were riding high in the charts
with their song
1 2 i hate you
and their album
the plastic pants wear you!
anyway those fucking students were angry
when the collective turned up in their kombi
you hippy bastards they called out at me n gas
as we struggled with hubbas gong up the stairs
hubba called me the killer
i was the youngest guy in the band
hubba bossed me round a fair bit
and he’d try out new psychedelic drugs he wasnt game to try(!?)
on me first
c’mon killer hed say
just take a little bit for hubba
one night i was playing on a combo
of sixty mescal worms, 3 bottles of nutmeg
and something hubba had cooked himself called party mash
and yes this was during my angelfruit addiction as well
hubba stalked over to me angrily as i laboured over my marimbas
killer you totally fucked up martian holiday!
hubba i dont even know where i am let alone play any instruments…!
wow is it that good ?asked hubba gleefully
the next gig everyone took the same combo
ah i think we’ll change martian holiday and do andromeddan harpoon tonite
announced hubba casually as the drugcocktale took effect
negative wasnt happy
i need my double neck for the retro rockets part he grumbled
of course this was the gig at the uni
the kids were all drunk n speeding
and ready for a half hour of the pants
instead they got space rock opera
which lasted 3 hours 20 minutes
hubba mimicking weightlessness
by swimming around on the floor
the rest of us dressed in ww 1 aviator goggles
parachute suits, pyjamas, and wet suits
our long wild hair shaking in the zero gravity
of our repetive racket
my instruments are going haywire hubba intoned thru metallic echo
space fever we all hissed into our mikes
im a white light messiah screamed hubba
space fever we hissed back
i never should have married that bitch from pluto moaned hubba
space fever we hissed again
turn down the gravity hubba called out
space fever, space fever we whispered
salad picked up his bassoon which after going thru a wah wah
sounded like the pulsation of an impending implosion (said hubba)
needless, doubtless to say the new wavers at the uni were not impressed
the booker pulled the plug for the first time
if you guys dont do something punk or new wave its curtains he screamed
ok ok said hubba we gonna do our most new wave song
the thing that went fffsheeeewssshhhfffeeewsss came back on
and hubba softly pounded his gong
a beer can hit me in the shoulder
hippy dribble shrieked an incensed mohawk n safety pinned punkette
bullshit roared the pvc n floppy fringed new wave students
hubbas cockroach earrings jiggled as he moved
people were throwing things
and jumping up on stage
i saw hubba go down from the side of the stage
while the punkette beat me over n over with my marimbas
after that it all went black
when i woke up back in the teepee
hubba was nursing a black eye and a mournful expression
the thing that went ffsshewwwssshhheeffzzees got busted
and i still owe a thousand dollars on the repayments he said
a light was going off in my head
i realised hubba and his band were going nowhere fast
i began secret rehearsals with a new wave band i was forming
stiff young hounds we were called
well i guess the rest is history
the hounds became sausage
we changed our name to the satin oddysey
and then mx345
before finally settling on the chrunch
at our most triumphant gig at the leather martini, 1981
in adelaide
guess who supported us
yep
hubba n the fairies
killer you little fuckin traitor hubba fumed
as our paisley n mascara crowd sat sullenly thru hubbas set
but when they did martian holiday
i jumped up n got on the marimbas
just like olde times grinned hubba
i guess old habits die hard

47 Responses to “hubba bridge and the manly fairies”

  1. avatar
    don joe | 24 October 2006 at 9:50 pm #

    Lovely stuff Steve. Slightly surreal, like “did that actually happen?”. MAn you have a great memory/imagination.
    I wanna see those marimba’s come out on the next record!!

    Hope ur day is as good as the next one.

    ML,
    don joe

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 10:11 pm #

    when painters and dockers played at our uni in the 80’s i managed to pick off the guitarist with a beercan. oh how i lament the shameful yobbo days. good shot though, i wasn’t anywhere near the front and they did fucking deserve it. however mr steve, when we used to came to see you play at the shenton park hotel we were respectful alternative kiddies and indulged in no such behaviour. now if i saw you play i’d likely toss a generously proportioned joint, thus restoring a little of the 20 year old damaged karma.

    with affectionate memory and proably for the last time – pip

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 October 2006 at 10:12 pm #

    Great story and a GREAT payoff at the end. Thanks for a great read.

    Ed

  4. avatar
    ambnt1 | 24 October 2006 at 10:40 pm #

    Steven,

    Hee hee hee!!

    did you guys emerge from hypersleep cocoons on stage and have amps that went to “11”??

    You’re funny. Blog-o-meter rising again…

    –Chris

    n.p. Namlook/Inoue, “Shades of Orion 3”

  5. avatar
    echobaseone | 24 October 2006 at 10:48 pm #

    Moorcock can’t touch you!
    Great read, Steve. Thanks very much.

  6. avatar
    stealthblue | 24 October 2006 at 11:25 pm #

    Wow, had no idea. You really do have an amazing story, Steve. You definitely made the right choice though! Thanks for the history.
    Ben V.

  7. avatar
    youamwho | 24 October 2006 at 11:26 pm #

    BY FAR, the BEST f*ckin’ thing you have ever written!!!

    Marimba FURY, aye?

    m

  8. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 October 2006 at 11:38 pm #

    ROTFLMAO!! great story, steve. though i can’t quite picture you playing the marimbas, but maybe the ffsshewwwssshhheeffzzees-thingy. but the marimbas…..it just doesn’t seem you.

    very vivid description of ye olde band mates there in the beginning~~i can picture them as if they were standing right here in front of me.

    where are they now? i guess still paying off equipment.

    thanks for sharing this memory.

    lotza love…..

  9. avatar
    craig1.618 | 25 October 2006 at 12:01 am #

    very good story…….also i can agree with that…….currently realigning

  10. avatar
    Dilip Doshi | 25 October 2006 at 12:16 am #

    I hearby declare this ‘The Best Blog ever’

    Dilip Doshi

  11. avatar
    fergal | 25 October 2006 at 12:17 am #

    brilliant!
    i would like to see a refo:mation of hubba & the fairies …
    ~

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2006 at 12:26 am #

    Ha hhubba hillbey!

    Loved it!!

    Celticat

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2006 at 12:31 am #

    Classic!

  14. avatar
    syrinx | 25 October 2006 at 1:11 am #

    That is freaking awesomely hilarious.

    Would 3 bottles of nutmeg make me better in the kitchen? I can’t bake worth a damn.

  15. avatar
    abtom0104 | 25 October 2006 at 1:29 am #

    SK,

    That was an absolute ball-tearer. One of your best blogge’s ever! If only it could be made into a fillum.

    JD

  16. avatar
    bluebell | 25 October 2006 at 2:32 am #

    you can’t leave now
    when you’ve still got gems like this rolling off your fingers

  17. avatar
    hubba bridge | 25 October 2006 at 3:17 am #

    …you gave me that black eye…

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2006 at 3:40 am #

    that’s more like it..

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2006 at 4:03 am #

    took me a while to take thru being at work and all but hey good read.
    but ya know, im with the new wavers, it must have been awful to sit thru one of your sets. gongs and noises…dunno sk!!

  20. avatar
    rehan | 25 October 2006 at 4:33 am #

    What a GAS! You must employ the device that goes “fffssshhheeewwwsshheeeezzzzz” at the next Church gig!
    Rehan

  21. avatar
    captainmission | 25 October 2006 at 5:43 am #

    ahhh have to say that was a brilliant post, yeah i think you must share the spirit of calvert, way ahead of his time, as you are yours.
    i think the machine that goes, ffsshewwwssshhheeffzzees actually may have extra terrestrial origins. the torchwood intitute believe it to be an prototype of an orgone accumulator.

  22. avatar
    Buckaroo | 25 October 2006 at 6:06 am #

    hahahahahahah (wipes tear from eye) hahahahahahah (gasps for breath) hahahahahah

  23. avatar
    leelinau | 25 October 2006 at 6:25 am #

    when i woke up back in the teepee

    wait, wait…still laughing

    good shit mang

    ^_^

  24. avatar
    eek | 25 October 2006 at 6:26 am #

    That was a great! I think I’ll keep you. 🙂

  25. avatar
    fantasticandy | 25 October 2006 at 6:57 am #

    i bet,brock,turner,calvert,house ect.,would love this one.you’re so right about thepunk/new wave thing though,bags of raw energy,yet somehow mainly mindless and ultimately usurping something really cool. one fab blog,thanx killer,thanx.

  26. avatar
    rubikon | 25 October 2006 at 7:39 am #

    Lovely story Steve (Killer!). I guess we’ve all payed our musical dues in various bands.

    I wish I’d been hanging around Australia when you were looking for a second guitarist…It coulda been me…I coulda been a contender. I used to look more like you than Marty though.

    Ah well, nice dream I suppose.

  27. avatar
    davem | 25 October 2006 at 12:42 pm #

    Excellent SK.
    But I reckon you only put the marimba slapping incident in to fight your way past the spank-my-ass blogs on the chart.
    Love you more,

    Dave M
    x

  28. avatar
    Ade | 25 October 2006 at 12:46 pm #

    hehe 🙂

  29. avatar
    restaurant mark | 25 October 2006 at 12:52 pm #

    i can see and hear the whole thing…nice!

  30. avatar
    biggle boggle | 25 October 2006 at 1:36 pm #

    This isn’t true, is it? You made it up. I sure hope it’s true. Aussie Hawkwind clones…awesome.

  31. avatar
    supper's ready | 25 October 2006 at 1:58 pm #

    very funny, steve. reminds me of the equally hilarious mixerman diaries: http://www.mixerman.net/diaries_main.php.

    keep the good stuff coming.

    raz

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2006 at 2:29 pm #

    thing is, a marimba is like a xylophone… now maracas, you do play them in plural… but who am i to argue with hallowed history?

  33. avatar
    John Garratt | 25 October 2006 at 2:41 pm #

    I can’t understand why hubba just didn’t take off like the Church did.

    John

  34. avatar
    JJ | 25 October 2006 at 2:53 pm #

    The repayment thingie must have been an Azimuth Coordinator, very expensive item….I could see the band alighting on stage on a Moorglade Mover as the gong reverberated through the Uni hall before chaos ensued with the Mohawks.

    You got me laughing in the lab again at work, people poking their heads in. Great stuff…

    JJ

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2006 at 2:54 pm #

    someone please explain to valeska that this story was made up….gosh, this gal’s more and more stupid each day.

  36. avatar
    stealthblue | 25 October 2006 at 3:04 pm #

    You should hear him when he whips out the castanets!! It’s just…MIND-BLOWING!!;)

  37. avatar
    ambnt1 | 25 October 2006 at 3:21 pm #

    How about the machine that goes: “hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” (drone machine). Did you have those back then or was it recently invented by Oophoi?

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2006 at 4:19 pm #

    Guess you only have one chance
    in life to play a song that goes like
    di dew di do di dew di do dittle dewww

    You can jam @ Joes garage
    his mother would scream, Turn it down!
    we knew we was really good
    and now we started getting an eye
    from the girls in the neighborhood
    we wore matching suits and beatle boots

    far out……..Fender champs

    good one sk
    ole hubby
    beer cans and punkettes…
    great story..

    peace jaime r..

  39. avatar
    kat | 25 October 2006 at 5:18 pm #

    ha ha sounds fun for the most part. (now)

    😉

  40. avatar
    Scott | 25 October 2006 at 8:10 pm #

    Windows opened wide on a cool day along tha beach, watchin tha blue angels practicin’ over perdido key, florida. Great read today n thx for tha story.

  41. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 25 October 2006 at 11:44 pm #

    I THANK GOD FOR THE CHURCH everyday!!!
    Jonny Hollywood

  42. avatar
    mattdavison | 25 October 2006 at 11:49 pm #

    pass me a martini…

  43. avatar
    syrinx | 26 October 2006 at 1:09 am #

    Hey anonymous at 12:54 – nice job calling someone something ugly, by their name, while remaining nameless yourself.

    Proud? Gosh I can see your brilliant radiation from here…

  44. avatar
    crucified in space | 26 October 2006 at 6:34 am #

    Reminds me of Spicks’n’Specks the other week with that clip of Bon Scott playing recorder in an early ’70s prog rock outfit.

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 October 2006 at 11:02 am #

    how can you remember this stuff when you were so blatently drug fucked? sheesh!! was it all an hallucination?

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 October 2006 at 12:41 pm #

    fucking brilliant steve

  47. avatar
    gavgams | 28 October 2006 at 2:53 pm #

    One of the best posts. Very funny, great writing. Scary because it could be true. Brother Ed’s band was Placid Satin before they became Kev’s Haircuts, then Heironymous Bosch, (now doing sound at the Corner).


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