posted on October 20, 2011 at 6:19 pm

priest to cat

i exist in past so deep

so wide inside where wishes keep

and hide themselves from lights of day

the moon my sun for i live somewhere else

at night getting changed into stranger

i loiter in the shadow of madder lake ache

transformation of the face

howling leopard claws out of saint no saint

transformation of the body

i slink away into distant memory

a dull and uncertain threat sustaining through weary years

inside every beast that contains no man

they cut it open but it is empty

then they cut open the emptiness but it is unbearable

hidden there monsters like me from far antiquity

a museum of screaming gargoyles all unmarbled

i am the cat man in feline flux and fur

i am sick and old and hungry like hell

i visit the sleeping dead in their disturbing dream

and return to morning

still half kitty

 

 

 

50 Responses to “i become something”

  1. avatar
    eekie | 20 October 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    You’ve long struck me as delightfully cat-like. 🙂

  2. avatar
    hellbound heart | 20 October 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    wouldnt it be just something to be able to transform ones self…..I would be a creature who’d fly
    ah man i’m daydreaming……
    love always…..

  3. avatar
    . | 20 October 2011 at 9:44 pm #

    strange shadows lurk in the corners of the museum
    some harpies lure in a team of interdimensional archaeologists
    you make charcoal sketches of the monsters still in marble
    three suns brighten the rotunda as you glide in lower gravity
    a doppleganger tries to follow you around, but it’s too confused
    it cannot translate your being into its own, you are immune
    jump three levels down and land silently, you see a coffee shop
    lavazza with heavy cream sounds good, it’s almost time to go back

  4. avatar
    Alyona | 20 October 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    Begemot?
    very fitting… especially if you’re also a sharp-shooter and like mushrooms.

  5. avatar
    evilren | 20 October 2011 at 10:23 pm #

    I knew it.

  6. avatar
    marcc | 20 October 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    Reminds me a bit of Love and Sleep by John Crowley, a book I just finished re-reading.

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 21 October 2011 at 7:20 am #

      john crowley is one of my faves

      • avatar
        mlc | 21 October 2011 at 11:33 am #

        Me, too. I’m slowly rereading the whole Aegypt cycle, but Little, Big is still probably the best. marc

        • avatar
          thetimebeing | 21 October 2011 at 12:10 pm #

          i only read one aegypt…i couldnt find the others…but the one i read i loved
          i conked out a little bit into little/big ..is it worth reading…maybe i should try again
          i had some other anthologies too i liked …
          a very very interesting cat

          • avatar
            marcc | 21 October 2011 at 11:10 pm #

            Haven’t read Little, Big in many years, but it blew me away back in the day. It’s worth it. Was always trying to “convert” friends to it. An Ursula Leguin blurb about it said “you will leave it a different size than when you went in”.
            His short stories are good, too, I agree. The first Aegypt book is the best. The others are ok, but seem to turn a bit more sour (by design I think). The Aegypt books and Little, Big have been reissued in America, but I don’t know about Australia. He’s got a blog, too!
            What about Gene Wolfe? Easily a peer of Crowley. marc

  7. Jmb066
    Jmb066 | 20 October 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    Steve,

    Excellent interview with ABC, thanks Sam for posting. I also heard today that the Opera House show will be a DVD and CD, made my day. Really looking forward to that and some SKP. I know your not a Star Wars fan but you look like a Jedi in that photo, Martin should get a kick out of that.

    Take Care,

    Jason

  8. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 21 October 2011 at 12:45 am #

    Very seasonal, at least here in the states with Halloween vastly approaching.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 21 October 2011 at 5:54 am #

      Sadly…still no sleep, just clock watching . Now its become a fuckn nightmare. I am aware of the possibility of hallucinations may occur. And I do say Steve…that is one slick, creepy picture.
      You would make a great character in one of those occult movies with Vincent Price or a retelling of an old Edgar A. Poe delight…such as “The tell-tale heart”. But only if MWP gets to play the geezer and Tim/Peter are the police characters who rattle you at the end.

      I bet you’ve had some dreams during the years with those blokes that end up like little Poe or Lovecraft stories. Sometimes I think Lovecraft writes my nightmares, maybe iv read too much H.P. over the years.

      • avatar
        Once | 21 October 2011 at 8:04 am #

        Daz –

        Forgot about this!! 150 mgs. trazodone.

        The fat lady sings an aria. Not only pigs but all hooved animals fill the skies. Hell is so frozen that global warming stops. Irene replies, “Thanks, you too!” Monkeys fly out of Mitt Romney’s butt. Cats become servile.

        They work so well that EVEN I don’t take them (although I have some on hand). Seriously. Ask your doc.

        ((hearts))

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 21 October 2011 at 12:32 pm #

          I was on trazodone before and it made my heart race even at a low dosage. My bloodpressure was all over the place, this happened in my primary care physician’s office. He was angry at the prescribing doctorvand bit his head off over the phone. I have heart disease in my family, it took my fathers life. So, no more trazodone – actually no more pyscotropic medications at all- ever. Apparently, I am allergic to them in a way that causes mania and severe manic episodes. They also interact poorly with all my different pain meds.

          Darrin

          • Kraig
            Kraig | 22 October 2011 at 6:51 am #

            Hey Darrin,

            Maybe you have high anxiety and need anxiety meds to help you sleep. With all your pain and problems who wouldn’t? You’ve probably tried that though…it takes weeks to start working, but don’t take them myself…some of my friends tell me it makes them sleepy so they take their anxiety meds at night. I dunno, but I “use to” have insomnia an still kind of do. I did take Melatonin for awhile and works wonders! Although, makes you feel weird in the morning. Hmmm, have a glass of wine or a beer…just one or two and no more with your meds. That might help too?

          • Kraig
            Kraig | 22 October 2011 at 6:54 am #

            forgot to mention lavender candles are suppose to help induce sleep too by aromatherapy, i never tried it, but that’s what people say.

          • avatar
            Once | 22 October 2011 at 9:35 am #

            Bummer, dude!

            Maybe it’s the power of suggestion, but last night I fell asleep for 3 hours or so, woke up at 10:00PM, and was AWAKE till 3:30AM! And my ALARM is set for 4:30!! F**k me, it’s contagious!

            Thing with that is – you don’t wanna take any pill-type remedies that late at night, coz waking up ain’t gonna happen…what a day today was…actually, not so bad, and again – another fantastic blog thread brought about by the fearless SK…

            I do take umbrage with the cats = evil analogy, tho – my cats are total dorks, their greatest hope is to be evil (and perhaps achieve world domination)…again, ain’t gonna happen!

            Sorry ’bout the trazzies, mate, ya know what might also wor-

            zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

      • avatar
        andy | 21 October 2011 at 8:28 am #

        poe or H.P would have been proud of that one steve!

        darrin….
        check this out,
        A Spell for Peaceful Sleep:
        These are hung by your bed to encourage a restful sleep and sweet dreams.
        10 Cardamon pods 1 tsp. Salt 15 cloves
        1/2oz peppermint 1/2 oz rosemary dried peel of 1 lemon
        Light a white and pink candle, place them on your work area (kitchen table, counter top).
        Crush the cloves, cardamon and salt to a fine powder. Blend with the herbs and put in bags.
        As you are making the bags concentrate on peaceful memories and beautiful thoughts.
        When you hang the bags by your bed say out loud:
        Sleep be with me Peaceful sleep Restful sleep
        Let my mind be eased Let my body be calmed
        Wings of darkness Let the sight of night and dream
        be clear, be quiet Let my troubles drift away and let me dream.

        the candle and the rhyme itself are probably just ritualistic trappings,
        yet…don’t ask me why, but the herb and spice concoction really
        DOES work!
        give it a shot dazza….nothing to lose eh?
        bests to ya,
        andy.

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 21 October 2011 at 12:21 pm #

          Thats more like it… a little white magic with a mind over matter token looming slightly out of frame. Yeah…well I need ingredients so I will go to the store tomorrow. Brilliant Andy, I knew if I was able to get you involved- I may find a road to sleep, or at least something far to cool not to give it a shot. Thanks my friend. I will spend this up coming weekend with the music you sent to me as its soundtrack.

          AsAlways…but one tired fuck,
          Darrin

  9. Kraig
    Kraig | 21 October 2011 at 1:32 am #

    Awesome Picture & Poem! Creepy

    • Kraig
      Kraig | 22 October 2011 at 2:02 am #

      Cats are very mysterious creatures aren’t they!?

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 22 October 2011 at 8:40 pm #

      Kraig-
      Thanks for the advice and concern- that was awesome coming from a complete stranger. But you are 100% correct, with all my daily meds, adding any type of hypnotic would/can cause a drop in my blood pressure which could be fatal. Anti-anxiety meds causes me (my synapses) he go haywire, this has been tried many timed dating back to april of 06. But thank you so much to even think about me- that alone makes a guy in my situation feel better.

      Darrin K.

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 22 October 2011 at 9:01 pm #

        Its funny, well dark at least, my main pain specialist recommended I relocate to a happy plant state. He said he would help set me up with a new doc and a proper script. He truly believes that in time, my pain would be masked better and my insomnia would work on curing itself. He says its fuckn ridiculous that Illinois doesn’t adapt that principal and that we are one of a few states that ‘pain management ‘ has reached its level that his group of peers are nothing more than mere pill pushers- sometimes for life. And…try and get any of his patients weened off or back on ‘narco’ pain meds is virtually impossible …yet the answer has been staring or should say growing all along this time- what a shame. Yeah, he’s a cool doctor…he’s a realist.

        Darrin

        • avatar
          Once | 23 October 2011 at 2:44 am #

          Good point. In fact, most doctors – even the famous TV doctor Mehmet Oz – scoff at the idea of MJ being “harmful”. Doctor Oz even said (on national television!) that he’s “pissed off” that the government has a say in what he can/cannot prescribe to his patients – with vicodin, percocet, oxycontin, klonopin, even morphine being perfectly legal, and a PLANT being outlawed.

          Remember Montel Williams? He has ALS and swears by the herb as an effective treatment. Many people agree.

          Ah, how the ignorance of a few can disrupt the life quality of so many…not suggesting that you become a “scoff-law”, but it is definitely worth a try!

          • avatar
            Once | 23 October 2011 at 3:02 am #

            Case in point:

            Oxycontin molecular formula: C18 H21 NO4
            Heroin molecular formula: C21 H23 NO5

            (er…that’s a bit close…)

            Marijuana – earth, water, sunlight, God = PLANT.

            🙂

  10. avatar
    Tanya | 21 October 2011 at 1:47 am #

    As long as you keep purring…

  11. avatar
    colette | 21 October 2011 at 4:42 am #

    ‘If you cut me do I not bleed?’

  12. avatar
    Once | 21 October 2011 at 7:31 am #

    “then they cut open the emptiness but it is unbearable”

    God, that’s such a horrible thought, it gave me chills!

    Nicely done!

    =^..^=

  13. avatar
    Sam Mayfair | 21 October 2011 at 10:08 am #

    Lo! The crisp sunseanian Sage…

  14. avatar
    Steven Krut | 21 October 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    I just listened to your interview on ABC. Loved how you didn’t allow Elton and MJ to share the same spotlight with Lennon. It’s always a bit distressing as a fan to hear how much the church members fight, though. I suppose that tension is what keeps interesting music flowing. I also loved your description of how you write songs. Hey, that’s my process too! Ha-ha!

  15. avatar
    puma boy | 21 October 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    reminds me of priest=aura, mid evil like, magical tales, halloween, vampires, witches, old english

  16. avatar
    Bernadette Keys | 21 October 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    I like the shot alot – your next album cover??? : )

  17. avatar
    caitbrid | 21 October 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    “then they cut open the emptiness but it is unbearable”

    Gives me chills too but I’m living it right now. My mom is near the end of her cancer battle and I feel the emptiness of not having her and it is indeed unbearable. And speaking of dreams I had one with you in it last night SK. It was lovely and peaceful. We were just friends and we were going to shows and seeing bands. I really needed a peaceful night and I thank you for being in my peaceful dream. How is your mom?

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 21 October 2011 at 2:55 pm #

      my mum is good
      i hope your mom has a merciful release
      and that you can let her go now ……
      i like the sound of your dream tho
      love on you darling

  18. avatar
    Alyona | 21 October 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    Reminds me of Bulgakov’s novel Master and Margarita — more than anything else — does it sound familiar at all?
    not just in regards to cat turning human and back again — it’s the atmosphere. the surrealistic realism. so tangible, as if you can breathe that ancient air… and listen on to the conversation between jesus and pilate under the merciless jerusalem sun.

  19. avatar
    jonston | 21 October 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    blue guitar
    pink sunglasses

  20. avatar
    bigbopper | 21 October 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    In the picture you look much like the emperor in star wars

  21. avatar
    stewart | 21 October 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    I’d love to hear a version of Bowie’s ‘Cat People’ (or see a remake of the movie) that came close to capturing the haunting atmosphere of this SK piece. “See these eyes so…”

  22. avatar
    M E M | 22 October 2011 at 3:09 am #

    I become
    How interesting

    How nourishing
    It is

    How disturbing
    It can be

    I am as weak
    As I am strong

    As unknown
    As I belong

    As empty
    As full

    As high
    As low

    There is a
    Song

    That one
    Now it’s

    Gone…

  23. avatar
    edd | 22 October 2011 at 4:40 am #

    No Agenda with Hammock…just beautiful……

  24. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 22 October 2011 at 6:53 am #

    Steve-
    So im reading the bio on Robert Smith and even though you have a couple years on him, I found it fascinating how he also admired Bolan, T.Rex, and Bowie and the book (Never Enough) has not become pretentious yet. Iv seen the Cure 10 times, they loved coming thru Chicago on tour and return at the last leg of a U.S. tour because the crowds we’re very warm and took a liking to him. He has always known to be a recluse – but in front of crowds here, at the Cabaret Metro for example, he came out of his shell and was funny and playful.
    My question to you is: what is your honest opinion of him as a musician? songwriter? singer? Did you two ever meet and was the exchange a warm one or something else?

    The bio is quite good, and is very readable. Unlike Ozzy’s where I gave myself a self- induced headache (or contact buzz) every 20-30 pages.
    When I recently finished the ‘approved and authorized bio on INXS (story to story) ‘ I felt empty. Those last 50-100 pages regarding Michaels demise were judgmental and argumentative. He was a rock star, tried and true and his downfall was hard to read because the signs were there, the man needed help…and help never came. At least for Dave Gahan help came and he survived and is still one of the greatest frontman that music has ever known.

    Just like to hear your take on some of your ‘peers’ from in and around the 80’s. Because my jaw dropped when I heard R.E.M. decided to get up and walk away from all of it, still as close friends-no feelings hurt it made me wonder when does a band, who has been together 20-30-40 years just stop. R.E.M changed college music stations forever, they laid the ground work for many bands from across the oceans to be heard on American soil. And many people can say what they want about Michael Stipe, but I met him 3 different times in their illustrious careers, and he was always kind and down to earth each time. Glad to sign anythingband take pictures with you and your friends. I think he knew that the fan was the reason why he could do what he loved and now they are no more, kinda sad.

    Asalways,
    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Once | 23 October 2011 at 11:35 am #

      Michael Stipe is a genius. Of a different kind, tho.

      On this topic??

      OMG, Steve – WHY have you NOT collaborated with Robyn Hitchcock??

      Wait – I think I know…coz the Universe would implode.

      Never mind!

      • avatar
        Once | 23 October 2011 at 11:43 am #

        Steve Kilbey. Robyn Hitchcock. Martin Kennedy.

        Oh. My. God.

        THAT would be like, too good for (wo)mankind as we know ourselves…mayhem and philosphical consciousness would ensue.

        Sigh. Maybe one day.

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 24 October 2011 at 2:31 pm #

          Kilbey, Gabriel, Stipes… now that would be a most interesting collaboration.

          Darrin

    • avatar
      Kristina | 23 October 2011 at 2:32 pm #

      Speaking of Robert Smith, you always reminded me a bit of him in your younger days…there was definitely a resemblance in your complexion and striking light blue eyes.
      Hell…you may have both worn the same brand of eyeliner and mascara there for a short while…

      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 24 October 2011 at 2:13 pm #

        Robert was and still is one of the most unique people I have had the chance in meeting. Some will say he is stuck – up and cares little for his fans and fame in general. They are so wrong. He is so quiet and shy, the first time I talked to him it took minutes for him to open up and when he did, I spent well over an hour talking about anything /everything and his security detail was throwing us out and he gave my friend Jennifer his address so that we would write him. We did, and the last time I spoke with Jen, till this day, they remained close as two people from opposite sides ofthis rock and water can be.

        Darrin

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 24 October 2011 at 2:28 pm #

          And as a musician and so ngwriter, Disintegration is a fucking classic. The album touches so many different musulic genres and has sold over 3 million copies alone in their catalog. Ibdont believe Robert has ever received the full recognition of such a classic musician and song writer. Yeah, they changed bandmembers …often, but he always remained the constant.

          AsAlways,
          Darrin K.


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