posted on December 29, 2007 at 4:20 am

it said dont do it
but i did it
i did it for the hundreth time
but i did it
what did i expect?
it was ok the othertimes
perhaps they were just being overly cautious
when they said dont do it!
hey steven says grant
what part of dont do it do you understand
dddont dddo it!
but i did it
i unplugged my pod from the lap top
before it said i could or should
guess what
i killed my baby
i shot my poddy dad
i erased her mind
i blew her cool
now shes empty
my laptop dont even know her name
nothing inside her
full of emptiness
deep sadness comes over me
move on! orders dr polinski
you gotta move on….
but but but
one ray of light
ricki myarmoury
that famed utility player
that guitar slingin’ hippy shaking beatnik
he can help me restock my poor empty one
but some stuff
oh dear
that was it
one offs n lost cds
gone forever magnetic heaven
magnetic field mice trapped in oblivion
today i am cold shut down in disbelief
my ear problems re-turned
cant swim
the kids going crazy
i take scarlet kilbey out for a walk
she wont walk
like an obstinate mule
in the blistering sun
arguing the bleedin’ toss with a 2 year old
you think its funny
it ent
weather is hot
i feel blasted
powerless literally
nonetheless i percy-vere with yoga
my only saving grace
which almost cancels my other bad habits
not quite
fans blow in the house
cockroaches abound
flies buzz around and i swat at em
with my red australia shaped flysquatter
fuck em!
i love that feeling when you connect a good backhand
that ever so slight sound
as the fly gets knocked into its next incarnation
hey knucklehead
yeah you
you can ‘ave a fuckin’ go at me now
you know hypocritical bastard n all that
you didnt think vegos could swat flies and crush cockroaches?
well this one does!
or dont come in my house!
something is missing in me
my compassion…or something
i feel quite angry and restless and unfulfilled
i feel like i dont wanna hear loud noises
or be jerked around
im not hungry
or am i nauseous
should i be worried about my hallucinations
and the blood freely flowing from my hands
i am not crazed but im glazed over n underglass
sod off with yer happy gnu year
spare me your platitudes
no year is ever happy
time curdles in my eyes
and my paintings melt in arctic darknesses
that suddenly appear where my music was
i pound the plane
bound in one single chain
a killer and a heretic
yeah thats right
i think evolution is baloney
so is the war
any fuckin’ war
i think the “straights” are winning if not one
i think painkiller will increase the pain
i think im unbelevably handsome
until i look in the mirror
hey its not fair!
i know im 53 but…….
i believe in hindu gods
who whisper nectar-like
if your heart can ever still its noise
i believe that anyone who says
such n such happened 25 million years ago
i believe life is studded with dilemmas for us to solve
some have no right choice
a choice of agony
or addicted to painkiller
i believe its too late to ask
and i believe its too early to tell
im a smart little monkey with the words
aint i?
if i met myself somewhere
i’d probably punch myself in the doppelganger
im sick of myself
sick of my sick mind
minding my sickness
hobble bubble hippy dribble
toil and trouble
struggle time being
struggle in your delusory webbing and net
i contradict myself
outside myself
up myself
beyond myself
ego screams and screams and screams
quoting my words to myself
listening to songs i couldnt write
i churn out a series of souless seances
i learn a new language
i appropriate funds
i gamble and i gambol
i fleece em
but they skin me alive
i am angry with you
yes you
you know who you are
so so so so so
with you
burning in my hot pitta temper
my mind like the sahara
with no compassion
no oasis of patience
no time for anyone
stop prodding me through my cage
take your implant out of my eyes
let my planet walk away unharmed
kill bush
kill whalers
kill killers
kill time being
kill anyone who disagrees
arrange the executions
execute the arrangements
i painted myself into a corner
i sung myself to a standstill
i gave n gave
i took n took
i lied to you in all honesty
i stabbed you in my imagination
i dived into the peeling back waters
i’m too big for you
its gonna hurt
didnt i warn you?
the children fight and laugh and fall out the windows
my car exploded and blew off my head
and my head gasket
i only have 3 eyes now
i am a reptilian devil dressed up as an olde hippy
i am the strangler of the deep
i am the masked foot of oblivion
i am the kiss of the marsh
i am a sinker
i am a hook
i am vicious bird attacking your back
i hurl insults at the dead flies
i cook my headless mind in a broth of ignorance
people chase me down my street
horrified by my ugliness
they string me up an pelt me with confederate money
voices next door
someone moaning and screaming
infuriated i go over there
and i burn the place down
i rob a river bank and send a duck bill
i writhe in my stupid impotence
i boil my existences
i audition for hell and i got the job
im tired of messin’ with ya
dont make me kill you again
i terrorize rockpools with my agent orange
i demonize satan
i impose on this universe
i crush and crash
i lash and bash
i am everything
you never thought
how good is that?

36 Responses to “i-podless in gaza”

  1. avatar
    damien | 29 December 2007 at 5:34 am #

    I accidentally put my girlfriend’s iPod through the washing machine! Lost a lot of rare irreplaceable tracks too.


  2. avatar
    veleska1970 | 29 December 2007 at 5:53 am #

    sorry about your ipod. is it completely toast now? i have never owned one, so i wouldn’t know.

    and i’m also sorry you’re having a rough time of it. must be going around right now…..

    hope you feel better.

    lotza love……

  3. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 29 December 2007 at 6:18 am #

    I feel better now that I killed 7 flies today, thanks me esskay…

  4. avatar
    andmoreagain | 29 December 2007 at 6:22 am #

    Always kinda liked when my cds got stolen or I discovered napster. all that music is just out there. You can never really own it. Oliver Sacks (Awakenings) has a got a good book about music and our relation to it that my gurl friend is reading. I say this appropo of nothing.

  5. avatar
    Leelinau | 29 December 2007 at 6:48 am #

    oh dear.

    Hes oompa loomp0d




    g’day to you!

    ( ^_^ )

  6. avatar
    HappySlap | 29 December 2007 at 7:39 am #

    I’m sorry I called you hypocritical. Much like when you rant and then regret it later…we all do it.

  7. avatar
    craig1.618 | 29 December 2007 at 7:44 am #

    i am a mac guy sk

    now i don’t know for sure…..but this might help recover your songs

    you see….my fucking external hard drive (where i keep all the music that i’ve written) crashed and burned christmas eve and i hadn’t backed up for about a year

    so after the sheer utter panic started to slightly fade i went online and downloaded
    “Data Rescue II”

    here’s the catch though……….the demo is limited to single 5MB files……so i shelled out 100 dollars for the program

    but you know what…… fucking worked!!!!!

    50 gigabytes of my own creations were saved!!!! it took a while for it to recover all of it but it worked

    songs i’d written in the last year that i thought were lost forever because of this crashed external drive (and my laziness to back up my files) were resurrected!!!!!!

    so i know 100 dollars is a lotta dough but…….

    and i know you’ve said you’re not very computer-saavy or such……..but perhaps you could get one of your brothers to assist you with the recovery

    just trying to help

  8. avatar
    MEM | 29 December 2007 at 8:18 am #

    …number 9
    my room takes
    on odd shapes
    you know…
    walls that architecturally
    seem sound
    now look more rounded
    how can i
    explain this?
    time ticks
    words stick in
    my head its
    almost the end
    are you with me?
    no matter what you
    said, i’ve always
    been here
    with you
    you know… you
    that guy, shy guy
    poet guy…
    no reason to be sad…
    and you leave without
    a sound…

  9. avatar
    linjo | 29 December 2007 at 8:45 am #

    Aussie rocker piper pied
    filled your head then said he lied
    Leading lemmings down platitude road
    drowns you with contempt to lessen his load
    But still send lotsa love, sealed with a kiss
    for adulation he will surely miss
    Bear with him his belligerent mood,
    for next week will surely come more cerebral food
    Never boring!

  10. avatar
    eek | 29 December 2007 at 9:20 am #

    Sounds as if you had a shitty day. There’s a saying — misery loves company — so I guess I’m either company for you or you are for me, because I had a shitty day today and will have another tomorrow. Somehow I still don’t feel comforted. 🙁

  11. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 29 December 2007 at 9:59 am #

    You should be a playwright Killa, you just love playing with your captive audience! Hope you can salvage your iPod music I’m sure you’re missing it, you sound like you are.
    Hey Brien C ( as you don’t enjoy comedies) & anyone in need of a pick –me-up I challenge you to watch the Aussie Film, ”Kenny” and tell me it’s not a gem of a comedy! I’d be interested to know if its humour (mainly low-brow stuff when I think about it) isn’t cross-cultural. For those not in the know it’s about a Porta-Loo guy ‘Kenny’ – the lows about his job & his personal life & how he can rise above anything. Not as offensive as ‘Borat’ the kids can watch it and enjoy it too.
    Hope you’re all rising above any shit that might be coming your way, there’s no other way to go really is there?

  12. avatar
    Being Jenn | 29 December 2007 at 10:08 am #

    Sounds like your under attack from those evil little inner demons, spreading their self loathing an doubt, cast them into the ocean, let the waves carry them far far away, believe me I speak from personal experience they can destroy, if u give em half a chance.
    sincerely Jenn

  13. avatar
    fantasticandy | 29 December 2007 at 10:28 am #

    check yer myspace messages guvnor…
    i think i may be of service…..
    andy L.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2007 at 11:00 am #

    Killer Godzilla!

    we welcome you!

    that was pretty good! I heard you stomping round and breathing fire all the way up here!!!


  15. avatar
    gregra&gar | 29 December 2007 at 12:59 pm #

    This post reminded me of Walt Whitman’s Song of Myselfb — NOT! Exactly not.

  16. avatar
    Paul Lightfoot | 29 December 2007 at 1:22 pm #

    apparently, you can get them songs back.

  17. avatar
    Jen Jewel Brown | 29 December 2007 at 1:44 pm #

    the universe and/or maybe yourself is telling you something Mr Kilbey Sir. Maybe you are meant to not be listening to an iPod
    man I’m glad I’m writing this from the distance of cyberspace
    I know you love so much all that music
    it has surrounded you for so long
    but the sounds of the world are the sounds of the world
    and silence is great
    but Bondi is often noisy
    I know
    when I first moved there with Todd to North Bondi when we were newlyweds I was absolutely incredulous
    screaming babies
    crashing waves
    the soundtrack of scuttling roaches, the carpet departing when the light was snapped on when I went for a drink of water in the middle of the night
    roaring ragers
    people washing up at volume 11
    everyone living on top of each other
    I just used to go stand at Ben Buckler and listen to to waves and the wind
    and breathe

  18. avatar
    Jonathan Andrews | 29 December 2007 at 2:27 pm #

    Steve…. I don’t read your blog very often but I happened upon it again two days ago whilst listening to your catalog.

    I loved today’s post. I hear your searching and hear the pain and anger. Thank you for being transparent.

    The reconciliation for all our emptiness has found me. I pray it finds you too.

  19. avatar
    John in Austin, Texas | 29 December 2007 at 3:12 pm #

    Steve, if its your iPod that went down, the mp3s should still be on your laptop hard drive – right?

    If you hook a working iPod up to your laptop, it should ask you to associate the new or fixed laptop with the iTunes library – and then allow you to move all of your tracks back over to the iPod.

    …Unless I’m missing something about what happened here.

  20. avatar
    tim | 29 December 2007 at 5:28 pm #

    sounds like you may be coming down with the flu…
    i’ve had it for 3 days now…i take time off of work for what? to be sick?
    shittiest christmas ever…
    i find a little of the ganga works wonders when you are nauseous.


  21. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 29 December 2007 at 5:35 pm #

    “i audition for hell and got the job”
    something about this line makes me want to cry. or it could be that i’m sitting in a hotel room, looking out a the gray skies in a strange city, wishing i was home, wishing i was in a different body, with a different brain, in a different mood.
    condolences on your ipod. r.i.p for the ipod. i agree with john in austin though – unless i missed something in the story, you should still have all your songs saved on the hard drive. it’ll be time-consuming to get them back on a new ipod, but i’m hoping this isn’t a new rendition of the day the music died.
    i’ve missed ya steven.

  22. avatar
    rickmaymi | 29 December 2007 at 6:16 pm #

    I’ll fix it on monday!!!

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2007 at 6:31 pm #

    Dude, in future back up that stuff on disk… you can fit a lot of mp3s on a data disk.

  24. avatar
    davem | 29 December 2007 at 7:49 pm #

    Crikey, you sound as bad as I feel.
    Crawled out of bed to catch up on your latest….off back to bed now.
    Much love to you, hero of mine!

  25. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 29 December 2007 at 8:53 pm #

    I’m a virtual luddite. I can’t download nor do I own an I- Pod? I pray big time that SK can recover his priceless songs. My CD collection is more important to me than almost anything. I have at times killed fies and bugs. I deeply regret it and know that it’s bad for my already tumultuous and tenuous karma.

    weather is cold in Chicago. Murders every day. I noticed that Peter Garrett was partially demoted. Minister Penny Wong has supplanted him in dealing with climate change issues.

    I hope that one day Sk writes and sings a tribute song for wildlife and endangered species in Australia. it could enlighen the unnenlightened masses. With his boundless talents SK must resonate.If not the human race are nothing but reprobates.

  26. avatar
    syrinx | 29 December 2007 at 9:01 pm #

    Ouch. Sounds like the tech-minded have you covered, though. Last time I had a catastrophic crash and lost a large batch of the unusual (it was toast – had to buy a new computer, the whole nine), I’d just downloaded a track I hadn’t heard before via Napster. Nice conversation with the guy on the sharing end, too. 🙂 It was “Shell”..coincidentally.

    Good luck on the retrieval.

  27. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 29 December 2007 at 11:11 pm #

    Steve, whenever I feel disheartened (or whatever you choose to call it), I always listen to George Harrison’s Hear Me Lord, one of my all-time favourite songs.

    “At both ends of the road
    To the left and the right
    Above and below us
    Out and in, there’s no place you’re not in
    Oh, won’t you hear me lord

    Help me lord
    To rise a little higher, hmm…”

    LOVE IT!

  28. avatar
    PAGEY | 30 December 2007 at 12:13 am #

    i need more lashes

    slap me silly

    i’m bad n really good

    asoka pushed vegetarianism, then i died and forgot the past lives. so found again. lash me good great Dante..

  29. avatar
    matt davison | 30 December 2007 at 1:20 am #

    Bluddy Nora Killa…

    ye old cd diskman might need to come out of the closet.

    need to chat to you re: Nevets live…

    and a really awesome beautiful Newy ear too you….

    Wicked Bro!!

    NZ melby Kiwi maniac


  30. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 30 December 2007 at 3:30 am #

    “Jen Jewel Brown said…
    the universe and/or maybe yourself is telling you something Mr Kilbey Sir. Maybe you are meant to not be listening to an iPod”

    hear hear!


  31. avatar
    melissa | 30 December 2007 at 5:00 am #

    Hey, if you think that’s bad, imagine being held captive by interstate visitors and not being able to read your wonderful blogge for the past few days! Having withdrawal symptoms!

    I hope everything’s alright.. I don’t own an ipod (and basically, I hate computers). I’ll never give up my CD discman!!

    Greetings to all 🙂 xx

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 December 2007 at 6:26 am #

    I can be back now. SK has restored the anonomii button for all of us too iggers to maintain a blue moniker.

    Sorry for absence, I had wanted to wish you all a Happy Boxing Day, for obvious reasons…..or was that too obvious?

    No idea how to fix ipods as I’m not a member of that international cartel….but in the mood you’re in SK, I’d stay the hell away from Bondi Junction….a Westfield during the sales could just about tip you over the edge.

    Hello Isolde.


  33. avatar
    Melby Symon | 30 December 2007 at 7:28 am #

    Steve…I’ve got a whole load of Church songs I can send you !

    Sorry about the ipoddy….that’s bad news. It feels crushing to do something that you know you shouldn’t do and it all turns out bad. What a horrible feeling.

    The last part of you blog was very Iain Banks…lotsa interesting images.

  34. avatar
    princey | 30 December 2007 at 7:45 am #

    Hi sk, I just got back from a few days away at the beach, I really missed TTB, it was torture not being able to read you everyday, but I had my favourite book tucked under my pillow (Earthed) so you weren’t too far away from me (how psychotic do I sound!!!??).
    So Ihave to go backwards and read all your stuff now. Love you always,

  35. avatar
    lily was here | 30 December 2007 at 8:31 am #

    Happy … resurrection?

    Man, i hope Ricky can salvage all that music. I’d be in despair too but i guess time will be the exorcist.

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 December 2007 at 11:15 am #

    is there anybodeee…out-there. . . . . . .

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