posted on October 29, 2012 at 6:35 pm

wasnt that a dainty dish to set before the king?

deep weariness sets in

sleep insists that i lie down

my heaviness as gravity takes hold

my face against a pillow like a thousand tons

i ache to close down

morning come and gone again

our shop closed down

soft rain begins

hushed breathless in the crook of dawn

the sun to rise out of the sea

i alone in sleep entangled

the waves stop pounding the shore

the bird leaves off his singing

the trees silently singing off their leaves

i am merged in slumber though somehow aware

i wander thru the houses of my lives

in spain in chicago in norway in broome

take away this pain i will follow you anywhere

i was in one of my meaningless songs

i was a verse that didnt rhyme

i was a sour note amongst the orchestral stabs

i was a burnt bridge to an isolated chorus

i was alone alright

everyone had left me

i woke up in a freezing cold room i didnt recognize

i woke up crying and bawling neither in one place or the other

something had changed in the world while i slept

my own mind has whipped up this malevolence against me

trapped in my body my brain subjected me to a constant barrage

i sort through my things

i trudge up the stairs

the hammering clock

the bursting mains

the crackling power

the carpet burns my eye

the mirror hangs like a man

the slow motion frame of its reflection

another sea sparkles in its distances

another sky bluer and truer

i step into the shower of agonizing wetness

the water rips my skin and leaves me just a dream shivering

anyway i got nowhere to go in a dream or a song

no bills to pay nothing to arrange

a car pulls up we drive to a airport

no one says a word i sit in the soft comfort

we whirl through the cities with the stars and the malls

on outskirts of paris lost on a map

the dawn at the window pale and sickly

the dawn at the door eluded by you

the dawn at the station where a few ghosts have gathered

the dawn on a road where emptiness travels

the dawn when youre out on the street alone

when nobody knows you and nobody feeds you and nobody sees you

when nobody offers you ย land or a throne

the dawn struggles at first taking tiny rosy steps

no i must wake up now

no i must sleep some more

then im on a plane hurtling thru icy clouds

i’m pinned to my chair having a scare

oh jesus save me i whisper

and the sky becomes peaceful

but when we land i never thank him or mention my gratitude

a voice says

the sky would have become calm anyway…

then my bag has gone missing…

sweet buddha dont lemme lose my bag i say

and then suddenly it turns up alright

i forget to thank him

and a voice says

it would have turned up on its own..

a car waits for me

it is the new dawn here

the dawn of all things in this place

i have flown so long chasing this dawn

dawn of seagulls dawn of cool breezes

dawn of pines dawn of sands

dawn of minute bites

car speeds on through dawn

i doze in the back

a female companion holds my hand

no i am still alone

i jerk awake

i am asleep in a hotel foyer

my neck hurts

the elevator wont work

i trudge up the stairs

someone opens a door

someone hands me a key

i yawn again

i awake in the car driving through the dawn

the dawn has grown stronger

the dawn almost now the day

my brain is engulfed in nausea

my stomach is numb and empty

the boat is leaving with sleep up on it

i long for bed for warm anonymity

i long for oblivion the end of all troubles

i long for some softest angel to anoint me with love

i long for the formulae to untangle myselves

the truth is fragile

the truth is evolving

the truth is a car crash from ten different angles

the truth is a memory you never had

the truth is

i’m tired

 

 

22 Responses to “i’m tired”

  1. avatar
    Paul Fitz | 29 October 2012 at 6:51 pm #

    Peace

  2. avatar
    Boriah | 29 October 2012 at 7:15 pm #

    You had a house in Spain????????? Where?

  3. avatar
    Kohl Ette | 29 October 2012 at 7:44 pm #

    4: longa (or four-measure rest)
    2: double whole rest / breve rest
    1: whole rest / semibreve rest
    1/2: half rest / minim rest
    1/4: quarter rest / crotchet rest
    1/8: eighth rest / quaver rest
    1/16: sixteenth rest / semiquaver rest
    1/32: thirty-second rest / demisemiquaver rest
    1/64: sixty-fourth rest / hemidemisemiquaver rest…

  4. avatar
    Chris | 29 October 2012 at 7:48 pm #

    World weariness….time for time out….

  5. avatar
    hellbound heart | 29 October 2012 at 8:18 pm #

    Man, sounds like you need to pack the family up and go somewhere for a break to charge the batteries up and relax….
    Might have to make this one Doctor’s Orders. ๐Ÿ™‚
    <3

  6. avatar
    Chad Hagen | 29 October 2012 at 9:42 pm #

    Excellent Steve. That really moved me and felt the urge to applaud. (Enter applause)
    Chad

  7. avatar
    vicki | 29 October 2012 at 10:11 pm #

    Every line has the power to make me reflect, feel, imagine – I love it. It makes me think of my recent desert trip & the power of being isolated, how it felt to drive along the tracks, music loud & singing along at the top of my voice, … Reading on I’m not sure if I feel hopeful or like I have lots of company, struggling for air.

    But,,, Not sure that is so dainty, more intense.
    Vicki

  8. avatar
    Cath | 29 October 2012 at 10:55 pm #

    Sleep then….. before the dawn….. the day will wait….the selves will settle…….sweet dreams ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 29 October 2012 at 11:33 pm #

    Please get some rest…

    See u walking along the shore in a dream,
    I will always take the time to say hello and wish
    you and yours the very best…your tired now …
    As I…so very tired…time to enjoy sweet comfort and
    warmth of a blissful sleep…Ur angels await with open arms…
    Embrace…

    Daz

  10. avatar
    John Garratt | 30 October 2012 at 12:48 am #

    Why not sleep a little more.

  11. avatar
    JWDost | 30 October 2012 at 2:36 am #

    BRO…
    Rest. Let yourself re-charge.
    Clear and clean and burn it away

  12. avatar
    Steven Krut | 30 October 2012 at 2:49 am #

    “the truth is a memory you never had”

    That’s pretty good. It sounds like you could use a vacation.

  13. avatar
    Tanya | 30 October 2012 at 5:49 am #

    Keep writing in that groggy state – it’s pleasingly formulaic.

  14. avatar
    verdelay | 30 October 2012 at 9:30 am #

    Oh, bravo, bravo

    v

  15. avatar
    I'm only sleeping | 30 October 2012 at 1:04 pm #

    one of my favorite lennon songs

  16. avatar
    Bernadette Keys | 30 October 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    Like that one. would write more but I’m too tired. That picture looks like a David Ralph painting.

    Keysie

  17. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 30 October 2012 at 10:22 pm #

    To MEM –

    Please let us know that ur ok and ur storm status…

    Thinking about u !!! Hope everybody/everything is alright !!!

    Daz

  18. avatar
    M E M | 31 October 2012 at 4:12 am #

    The Storm has passed. And the Sun is shining!

    • avatar
      Paul Fitz | 31 October 2012 at 9:12 am #

      Fantastic news, however sad for the losses.

  19. avatar
    crimson | 31 October 2012 at 4:43 am #

    I loved this Steve. So many line echo how I’m feeling dealing with a faltering relationship right now… feel very alone. “when nobody knows you and nobody feeds you and nobody sees you
    when nobody offers you land or a throne”…

  20. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 31 October 2012 at 7:15 am #

    Exquisitely Relieved-

    They speak of short-lived pleasures..be it so…
    for the pain doesn’t die quickly enough…I say it so…
    I shall not expire or let this weary prisoner go.
    The fiercest agonies perpetuate the greatness reign…
    and alter dreams flickering horror , it comes on again.
    A welcoming morning glow encased away by shadowy pain…
    Oblivious oblivion, shamefully wiping out another stain…
    making secret whispers, another’s blames game.
    Remorse is the virtue’s root, it lives to be increased…
    once fruits of innocence and blessedness defined eventual release.
    Weep not for the world spins , indeed – for my pain exists in this place…
    a capless bottle offers only a temporary space…
    for that alone is cause to weep.
    Night to day to night again…
    Mustn’t I cry before I sleep.

    Daz

  21. avatar
    Cocoamo | 31 October 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    Now I lay me down to sleep
    In my little bed
    If I should die before I wake
    How will I know I’m dead?

    (This little poem was spoken by Tasso as he spoke at our NAMTPT conference last week. Tasso, at age 80, is still recovering from a stroke he had last year and by sheer will has treated 200 people since then and regained his ability to speak. A little trivia from Pittsburgh…)

    Your Friend in soggy Pennsylvania


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