posted on December 20, 2006 at 8:18 pm

a sodding little imp
has been ruining everything lately
drying out my wetsuit
raining on my dustjacket
my late is the imps early
the imp has changed all my songs
now all the good bits are gone
all replaced with pomp n weakness
my paintings too
blurry n awkward
why oh why does the imp do this to me?
turning my funny jokes into embarassing diatribes
making things fall down on my back
making me harsh n glazed
instead of warm n open
eating away at the fishes fins
making all the paper droop n curl
causing stinging creatures to seek my feet
helping itself to my little bit of time
detouring me thru the dark part of town
making me do things
i never would do
nasty little imp
reveal thyself
for i already know thy face
nasty little imp
bringer of the flies
pincher of babies
friend to the rat
defacer of beauty
blackener of youth
a’lyon n a cheater
dealer of bad hands
the hider of little bags of preciouss
little imp
why why why
why did you detune my strings attached?
why did you alter the course of skyriver?
why did you boom boom instead of bang bang
you hampering little swine
wait till i get my hands around your
wait till i give ya a taste of
then im gonna
and i’ll be thinking of how
you sabotaged my career
and i’ll be thinking how
you engineered my downfall upscale
i’ll be rememberin’ how you dug those holes in my teeth
and filmed over my eyes
you nasty little imp
i abhor thee
who sent you here to persecute me thus?
why did you let down my tired tyres on the way to retire
and when can i have my future back…is it all gone now?
even the past no longer inviolate
you switching round my dreams n meams!
you cancelled long met appointments
you pretend to be me and ring up people
and say stupid things in my voice
and youve gossiped n bitched n boasted n bored
othertimes when someone rang who needed to talk
you answered as if you were i
and you feigned coldness aloofness greediness
and other lovely things youve now saddled me with
till im hoarse from shouting
you give gelatine sweets to my children
you put vodka in my juice
you put words in my mouth
you make smoke appear in my lungs
horrible little imp
go go go
now now
i hate what youve done to me
now goodbye

32 Responses to “imp”

  1. avatar
    verdelay | 20 December 2006 at 8:30 pm #


    (why did I write that? Glib and obvious pun! Now I’ll never be invited to dine at the captain’s table…)

  2. avatar
    Hoary Houdini | 20 December 2006 at 8:33 pm #


  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2006 at 8:59 pm #

    me am imp-ing away just for you esskay…

  4. avatar
    John Garratt | 20 December 2006 at 9:03 pm #

    Glad to see I’m not the only one feeling this way lately.


  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2006 at 9:16 pm #

    Ah, yes…the bloody imp in all of us.
    Get to know your imp and then smother him with kindness…his strength will weaken and you’ll then be able to control his power.

  6. avatar
    CSTCoach | 20 December 2006 at 9:48 pm #

    i can take care of that nasty imp for ya, just let me know. work im over real good. put his nose on the other sida his face. a flurry of breath-sucking blows to the solar plexus (an imp-losion). Your problems are my problems. no worries. I done it before. Violence is my middle name (actually it isn’t, i just said that for effect)


  7. avatar
    veleska1970 | 20 December 2006 at 9:59 pm #

    that pesky little imp, always effing things up. my imp’s been working double-time, too, lately.

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2006 at 10:42 pm #

    When that imp comes Steve run to the secret corners of your room and lock him in the cupboard.

  9. avatar
    restaurant mark | 20 December 2006 at 10:59 pm #

    i think the imp is very busy…been spending a lot of time at my house. everything seems more difficult than it should…just bitching about the last few days to myself right before i read the new blog. on one hand, sorry you’re having a bad time…on the other, it’s good to know others are feeling it too.

  10. avatar
    ambnt1 | 20 December 2006 at 11:12 pm #


    Was it also the Imp who’s been taking the big percentages out of your huge $1.00 Paypal donations? Or is it just Paypal DISGUISED as the Imp?

    An IMPortant, IMPpressive blog today.


    n.p. Mojave 3, “Puzzles like You” (shoegazers still starin’ at those pedals)

  11. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 20 December 2006 at 11:52 pm #

    It’s always been IMPossible and the (imp) possibilities have always been endless.

    I always leave out a glass of something lovely to drink for my imp. Seems to calm down what goes bump in the night.

    Happy Yule to all!
    Here comes the Sun!


  12. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 21 December 2006 at 12:55 am #

    that little imp gets around.
    he was just over at my place
    unwrapping gifts
    unbaking cookies
    putting kitties in christmas trees
    undecking the halls

    nastly little imp.
    go for it steven. string ‘m up!


  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2006 at 1:13 am #

    Oh dear, did you wake up hating yourself in the morning? I wondered where the impen one had gotten to all this time. No wonder my life had gotten peaceful … and boring 😉 Sounds like he’s been breeding too! Offer him an eggnog and spike it!

  14. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 21 December 2006 at 1:50 am #

    An imps got to do what an imps got to do!

    I just read in Wikipedia:

    Imps are sometimes described as fond of music, and capable of being charmed into making a promise to aid, and “do good” in that manner through music — though there is always likely to be some mischievous trick to be attached to the barter.

    There you go Steve, get him with your music!

  15. avatar
    gareth,notts | 21 December 2006 at 2:38 am #

    little fuckin imps! got my own gang of ’em bullying me,little fuckers!!!

  16. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 21 December 2006 at 2:52 am #

    I like imps..

  17. avatar
    lebuaf | 21 December 2006 at 5:27 am #

    doubles yer troubles when ya talk about em’

  18. avatar
    cita | 21 December 2006 at 5:28 am #

    Imp or elf? It is that insane time of the year when there are strange forces at work mucking everything up. Tune out the discordant racket and find your good elf or self. I would love to hear the Church cleansing away some of the bad vibes of Christmas but I have to go to the inlaws for a big feast this Sat. Seeing the Church for Christmas sure has a ring to it…. Ring those church bells!

  19. avatar
    mattdavison&sockface.. | 21 December 2006 at 5:49 am #

    The little shrimp Gimp, they call the imp………………….

    is a mind pimp!!!

    I hate that thing….

  20. avatar
    Samosanx | 21 December 2006 at 6:07 am #

    yes, there is a team of them, the alternate ‘deers perhaps? someone’s (who?) little helpers….
    today’s blogge (ucch – can you please think of a better word, S?)reminds me of John Donne


  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2006 at 7:22 am #

    nevets, oh nevets, so easy to look at, so hard to define!
    After seeing you perform at the Sando in Sydney, i said to my fiend, that you only get better with time. cheer up!

  22. avatar
    captainmission | 21 December 2006 at 9:20 am #

    ha i love the way your mind works,

    imps and elves, pixies and the faye
    all have come to lead you away
    hold on tight, keep course true
    these distractions pass as all things do

  23. avatar
    A. No. Ninimous | 21 December 2006 at 9:58 am #

    Sounds like an IMPoster to me

  24. avatar
    leelinau | 21 December 2006 at 12:12 pm #

    Happy Winter/Summer solstice everyone!


  25. avatar
    mike a | 21 December 2006 at 12:31 pm #

    what a naughty little imp!!!

  26. avatar
    Sparkli Sista | 21 December 2006 at 2:24 pm #

    hhhhhmmmm… the imp made ya do it!…………..

  27. avatar
    JJ | 21 December 2006 at 3:44 pm #

    I dunno, SK….seems things slip away like the sands between my fingers here too. Makes me think of Lennon’s line, “life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.” Seems so for me.

    It’s the Imps that plague us. A 10-day Holiday coming up – that’s some christmas cheer for me. Get to putter around, just doing what I want.


  28. avatar
    craig1.618 | 21 December 2006 at 4:57 pm #

    the imp showed his face here this morning @ 8:30am

    loud banging on front door. i look out and see police cars. uniformed and detectives. open door. police say burglar in next door neighbors house this very second while neighbors are not home. burglar imp has busted out back window and entered house. doors are dead bolted. only one way in and one way out. police ask if i have ladder so they can go through window to get imp..errr..burglar. no….but other neighbor does. i ring other neighbor. police go in. other neighbor and i are reeling. adrenaline surging. what if’s appear in our heads. what if bullets start flying? etc. a few moments later we hear “we got him cornered in the basement.” it seems the imp’s got a little monkey tearing at his brains because police find his imp-mobile in alley with crack-pipe in ashtray. neighbor and i wait and watch police bring him outta the house. just to get a look at his wretched face. he walks out cuffed and turns to look at me and other neighbor standing on my porch. i can tell he’s got it bad. i wanna scream ” you reap what you sow, motherfucker”, but i don’t. elderly neighbors still not home yet. must approach them calmly when i see them. don’t wanna give them a heart attack once i tell them about the imp and what went down in their house this morning. and they are such a sweet and gentle couple. i’m just glad the imp was caught and that the neighbors were not home when he decided to break-in.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2006 at 5:59 pm #

    lookin nice in purple
    must be a P imp.

    i had to..sorry

    jaime r…..

  30. avatar
    pagey | 21 December 2006 at 6:26 pm #

    yeah it twas me. Maybe we need a resurrection?

  31. avatar
    Orwell had it right | 21 December 2006 at 8:23 pm #

    IMP is quite extreme there Mr Kil. You said to us fans, “Forget Yourself” so like now old genie and daily dig, and forget all this days blog entry and let peace prevail, all was as should have been. transcend it all. Growing pains many would never grow to even experience. You have only got yourself to blaim as they say. You have got to put up with bright and flashing lights as a rock star. Your funny jokes apr 21st and you had already real lives done that a sage had duly noted as true. Your blogge only excited me to enlighten you with news of yesteryear. I send you all my good stuff but only 25% Roots of kil, Orgasmic truths be known to all. The starkest truths are funny as hell. Dig-it. Phone calls? Never made any. Your past? Y got one life man, live iT. I know ya want it. Sack-riffs-Ice.
    Sir I would be proud to have tribes like mine in my comment pool. I only wished you would find those bags and bury them. Nd upgrade to an AVS for your duggie doo. Man I am big brother making annoucements about you to the public at large. Nobody receives their full fame and you’ve got 15 mins times 3. Good eh? Cease fire. I’ll start sending hits instead of ghastly shits.

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2006 at 8:36 pm #

    Can the imp make early mornings 30 degrees and windy? if so, I think its in Melbourne now.

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