posted on May 29, 2010 at 5:09 am

angel in crystal
like a childs magic
what is this life ?
outside its medieval
fleas dirt cold damp
lost in the centuries
fucking woman banging at my door
get thee gone hag i will pay the rent sat’day
anxiety gnawing within
my little rat eating me always
my fire has no heat
my night has no day
only my work
my head light and throbbing
outside myself sometimes
the drugs i take for granted
a pinch for me
i have a tiny monster
indulging her over and over
hidden in the weave
a phantom glyph
as decipherable as a cloud
my work through the night
where does it all join up?
at some sublime point
music mathematics magic myth
rest for a spell
move slowly through a dream
the years are asleep
angel come angel come
soft laughter
her bitter reproach
that strangest pain deep inside she loves
behind glass inside her heaven
eyes of blue ice
maybe i’m blind
my eyes are so sore
my monster needs to feed
my rat begins to gnaw
still the need to work
the need to know
until power is mine
after thousand and one
in the year with no son

17 Responses to “in my beyond”

  1. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 29 May 2010 at 7:20 am #

    after a day banging away at fucking school reports this is balm to my poor overworked head….

    love always….

  2. avatar
    persephone2u | 29 May 2010 at 8:31 am #

    The magician and his lovely labyrinthine prose…

  3. avatar
    Richard | 29 May 2010 at 9:15 am #

    it's so easy to be seduced by the possibility of power

    instead of trusting in the power of possibility

  4. avatar
    Bradley Albert Burkley | 29 May 2010 at 11:48 am #

    Having just watched a video by Beach House, I was balling. Out of nowhere. Not sad, but in tears for the beautiful. A strange morning this is. Then over to Timebeing, non deliberate, and there I was, true story, reading and it was perfect. Thank you. Soulful meek inherit the earth, but 4 now we spend our inheritance. Thanks Steve – Frome the guy in Raleigh with the veteran dogtags.

  5. avatar
    princey | 29 May 2010 at 12:41 pm #

    "Now that Im in my beyond, I hear that you're not so fond", is that from a song of yours Killsy???

  6. avatar
    john | 29 May 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    s
    you confirm through your deepest thoights that time is a thief, dwellong in past is playong in quicksand. the future is a ropto pull you out. holefully the right person is pulling the rope so if u get stuck dhopefully it is daylight as u can appdeciate who is rescuing u and one might have avoided the quicksand in the first place.

    thanks for this blog as it allowsme to delve into my hopes and fears

  7. avatar
    john | 29 May 2010 at 1:12 pm #

    s
    you confirm through your deepest thoights that time is a thief, dwellong in past is playong in quicksand. the future is a ropto pull you out. holefully the right person is pulling the rope so if u get stuck dhopefully it is daylight as u can appdeciate who is rescuing u and one might have avoided the quicksand in the first place.

    thanks for this blog as it allowsme to delve into my hopes and fears

  8. avatar
    davem | 29 May 2010 at 4:01 pm #

    That anxiety seems to drive you on though?
    You're so creative and active. It is inspiring!
    Sadly, the rent always has to be paid……I seem to be paying bill after bill at the moment sorting out the old mans affairs.

  9. avatar
    Georgia | 29 May 2010 at 5:25 pm #

    Professor Kilbey, the metaphors are vivid and the illusions real. This is the War of Art.

  10. avatar
    Freddie | 29 May 2010 at 6:34 pm #

  11. avatar
    cazziem | 29 May 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    Real power comes by empowering others and is at the very centre of the human existence. It comes alive only when a person becomes conscious of their own personality, can feel an inner sense of peace and allow themselves to accept the feeling of happiness. Our thoughts and convictions whether good or bad are all extensions of how we label and use our own power which is not something that is given to us; made for us or even made by us. True power comes from deep within and is something that is realised!!

  12. avatar
    LF | 30 May 2010 at 12:40 am #

    Oh no, not the medieval full of fleas and dirt! 😉 There are other Middle Ages, you know. With summertime, honeybees, fashion victims, and even universities where poor scholars could debate philosophical minutiae. Just sayin'…

  13. avatar
    cocoamo | 30 May 2010 at 1:29 am #

    Dear Steve:

    I feel so bad about your eyes and ears. I wish I could help you.

    You must find a way to stop torturing your ears with the decibels.

    Namaste

    Your friend in Pennsylvania

  14. avatar
    Jasperina | 30 May 2010 at 2:15 am #

    Eyes of blue ice. I like your wisdom Cazziem always. Steve your boundless creativity is always inspiring. Dirge (mourning song)…a word that's constantly hovering around me right now. It just won't go away. The only real light is creativity. A saving grace and the shining light from within.

  15. avatar
    steve kilbey | 30 May 2010 at 3:03 am #

    lf
    the time being puts the evil back in medieval
    sk

  16. avatar
    LF | 30 May 2010 at 4:38 am #

    🙂 yes, you do.

  17. avatar
    Melquiades | 30 May 2010 at 1:26 pm #

    do you sleep in shorts bursts?
    does the inspiration come to you
    when the late streets are barren and silent?
    the scant, occasional car reverberates down the side street
    I think clearer when crickets are chirping in the grass
    and the cool silent night
    envelops me with her grace


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