posted on June 7, 2006 at 4:43 am

god moron fiendar
hur mar ni?
its 6 43 in the morning
stockholm calling
elli n minnas 15 b/day
gotta sing the swedish birthday song
vi gratulerar….etc
johnny garratt says tell us some swedish swearwords
the swedes swear religiously
if you told someone in swedish to get fucked
theyd be puzzled….
isnt that a nice thing…?
in sweden the cursing is all about
devils, damnation, hell etc..
a little scatalogical stuff i guess
but it always seemed so mild to me
the other weird thing with that is that the swedes
are not particularly religious
unlike say the italians or spanish
so religous swearing is doubly strange
italians say “pig-god” is one of the worst things you can say
but in english it doesnae do the trick at all
so in swedish if you say someone is a damned devil from hell
thats something akin to being the oedipal conjunctive (mofo)
the swedes look like us anglos
but theyre a bit different
more reserved
a little more chilly maybe
(till they get a few voddies into em)
swedish is not a hard language for english people to learn
unlike, say, hungarian or chinese
a lot of its roots are the same
but swedes put many words together
instead of coming up with a completely new word
for example in english we say a vetenarian hospital
they say djursjukhus
(an animal sick house)
so english has many many more words than swedish
i always thought of it as being a bit like old english
more earthy or something
although my pronunciation aint TOO bad
i dont have the melody
and i cant roll my “r”s right either
tho i can roll my arse
(you should see me do yoga)
swedes got a little melody going when they speak
and without that
your swedish sounds abysmal
i gotta good vocab
and i can read newspapers n watch tv
without having to translate in my head
but im not really what youd call fluent
(e and m refuse to talk swedish with me…
but they also hate talking english with their mum)
the swedes are a good looking race
almost the “aryan” ideal
theres not a lotta obese people here
and they love sailing and the sea
they enjoy their culture n stuff
and not as philistine as the anglos
theyve produced some great music
great films n actors
and have made quite a mark on this world
for such a tiny little country
swedish words in english
include smorgasbord
(lit. sandwichtable)
and ombudsman
(someone who is at yer bidding)

altho the swedish women are beautiful
they are also quite “feministic”
for want of a better word
and woe betide any man who tries to treat em
like a “sex object”
theyre pretty affluent as well
and a lotta swedes gotta an apartment in the city
and a country house
and even a yacht or boat
they aint been involved in any wars for a long long time
(now if only everyone thought like that)
they like to travel abroad
but they nearly always eventually come home
they have loadsa traditions based on seasonal stuff
and pagan days
and the anglo life can seem a little bleak to homesick swedes
karin was always complaining about australias lack of seasons
i guess the summer/winter thing is crucial to swedes
which is why i feel so sorry for em
after having gone thru a long dark winter
and they get an overcast cold summer
the swedes LOVE the sun
you would too if you only got it a few months of the year
and its strange that i feel
a million more times at home here than in the u.s.
or england
its weird im an english /australian
with swedish and american kids
i got my head in 4 cultures at once
and can see the good and bad sides of em all
some people think im anti american
but obviousl my wife is american from west virginia
so i cant be that bad, can i
i just see it all from my vantage point
and some americans ive met have been the very nicest
most hospitable and kind people
i ever met in my travels
the americans seem more confused than anywhere else
and also the least likely to know much
about anywhere else
soon its time to wake the twillies
and”decorate their
day with flowers and leaves”
as the song goes
the twillies live on the 4th floor
of a big old swedish house
with big airy rooms
and a great view of sodermalm
or south stockholm
the sun was up early today
shining in the window at 3 in the morning
which adding to my not quite conquered jetlag
has me a little upside down
ellis best friend julia arrives
looking like a aussie adolescents wet dream
all yellow hair blue eyes and high cheekbones
yep shes a bloody stunner
and she thinks the twills dad is a little nutty but nice
if this girl had turned up at lyneham high during my day
it woulda been all over for everyone else
but beauties like this are pretty common in sweden
so no one pays much attention to em
elli and minna are planning to spend a year in high school
in sydney next year
and i can only imagine the scenes when they turn up for school on
the first day
anyway its time to open presents
i gottem two nano ipods
and all i can say is thank god i didnt have triplets
im gonna speak to ya all tomorrow
much love
stefan kilbeyssson

27 Responses to “in the deep heart of the night we get loose on everything”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 June 2006 at 7:01 am #

    Til lykke med E og M. Håber I alle får en god dag i Södermalm. Steffan K 🙂

    Peter Fischer

  2. avatar
    lily | 7 June 2006 at 7:32 am #

    Hello Steve.

    Please pass along very Happy Birthday wishes to E and M!

    I, too, have absorbed some Scandinavian culture courtesy of my husband who is Norwegian and Mexican, or Norwegican as he likes to call it. (Makes for a very interetsing combo!) I myself am of Irish descent so we celebrate a lot of different holidays and such ’round here.


  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 June 2006 at 7:59 am #


    Enjoy the party hope they like the pressies.


  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 June 2006 at 8:03 am #

    Blesses tu yu and the twillies

    glad ur diggin ur time
    its steamin hot okras in Nawleans..
    Stockholm sounds really composed
    like professional humanity almost
    I enjoy places where people are timeless
    gotta uncle in Eindhoven, Netherlands (^above^)
    and Wow, i gotta DutchiMexica cousin Charlotte Apollonia Rodriguez
    talk about knockin the genes around…beautiful familia,
    So when I see them I smuggles bout 30 packs of tortillas for the
    Holy season and All is Blissifico..

    and yeah, I can imagine the same kinda rhythm
    life’s vibrant.. comes and goes >>rrr
    round a continuum flow that replenishes
    And yeah, sometimes America is kinda like
    living with a triple a$$holyoso druNken stEp FaTT her..
    way so ruff around the collar.. naw mean.
    pray for all the suffering to end y’all
    psyche’s are swimming thru thick muddy Maya
    Everybody knows somethings wrong but they’d rather
    jus go on baaainn, chewin, and spittin..
    like a bunch of tired ass sheep with hemorroids..
    ay, sorry for the mental imagens..and not erryones a$$HoLyoSiSiMO but enuffznuff,
    so pardon.. je sui perdu..
    and pleez carry on with ur day sk,
    dont let me hold yup anylonger …
    Cheers abound.. go veg! yumms cake! Om tat sat Om..
    Make the day beautyyful ……. later
    ……………………….jaime r……

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 June 2006 at 8:12 am #

    Hi Steve,

    All the best to E and M on their special day. So glad you can be there to celebrate with them. I am sure that means alot to them (and you!). Your blogs are making me miss Sweden. Been there few times, and loved it. Also think Oslo and Copenhagen are really cool.
    Tell E and M they need to visit Bp sometime. I think they would like it. Lots of Swedes here, actually….just go to the bars late at night, and you can find easily find them drinking the locals under the table.
    I also work with a few Swedish companies here, and they are always the best clients. Always the least complicated, most professional, and “human”. If only all my clients were Swedish, then i would really love my job.


  6. avatar
    fergal | 7 June 2006 at 8:33 am #

    nice one sk

  7. avatar
    rubikon | 7 June 2006 at 8:36 am #

    Happy birthday to the twillies – or whatever that is in Swedish.
    I agree the Swedes are a physically beautiful race of people. Some races are collectively beautiful whilst others (insert your own example)….are’nt.

    Talking about languages – have you ever tried learning Russian – OUCH!

  8. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 7 June 2006 at 8:45 am #

    Hmmm…the ‘aryan’ ideal. One of my best friends is Finnish. He shows me pictures of his family and that’s exactly what I said. Ya bunch of aryans! Blond, blue eyes. But have you ever seen the Finnish language? Now that’s just crazy! Kitos for the blog. That’s all the Finnish I know.

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 June 2006 at 8:52 am #

    hey stefan
    back from my little london holiday
    that started with a brilliant night at the borderline
    how i love to see you guys play, man…
    and i’ve seen another thing that i would recommend:
    (no, not music…
    although i like some songs by snow patrol, i must confess
    and 7 years are a nice poppunk band from italy
    have seen them recently – cool lyrics in itanglish)
    stefan, ever been to the reconstructed globe theatre?
    as a fan of shakespeare you might perhaps like it
    we actually enjoyed their bloody titus andronicus
    also enjoyed the tate (thanks Marty, if you read this)
    so now it’s back to normal
    happy birthday
    manfred u

  10. avatar
    Daberhasher | 7 June 2006 at 10:34 am #

    happiest of birthdays to the twillies!!!
    thanks for the cultural exchange travelblogs from yer tour…
    travelling by thought for this swede in exile on maine street amerika… wicked…


    ah, the emperor has no clothes…
    ’bout time somebody said that!!!
    cardboard boxes would make me a shipping Cezanne!!! who knew???

  11. avatar
    matthew | 7 June 2006 at 10:37 am #

    Hey, it’s cool to hear that you’re having a great time with your daughters! I woke up the other day from a dream that I was jamming with Grant McLennan, playing “Thought That I Was Over You”! Dunno where you were at at the time SK, hahaha. I had the riff down pat too. Keep enjoying the time out in Sverige!

  12. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 7 June 2006 at 10:56 am #

    You said mofo..awesome.

  13. avatar
    veleska1970 | 7 June 2006 at 11:10 am #

    happy birthday to the girls!! and what a birthday present, too~~no, not the ipods, but your being there to celebrate with them. what more could they ask for?

    thanks for the little culture lesson about sweden. it’s good to learn about other people/races/etc, to get a better understanding of what (or who) makes this world turn. it’s too bad a lot of us don’t take the time to learn about each other. we would probably get along better!!

  14. avatar
    davem | 7 June 2006 at 12:33 pm #

    Happy birthday twillies,
    I used to have the blonde haired thang – gone now sadly…. bald and what’s left is grey. The blue eyes are still there but obscured by my glasses. Not that I’m jealous……
    Have a fun time Steve. Another lovely insight from you today – thank-you!!
    Love you more,

  15. avatar
    John Garratt | 7 June 2006 at 1:12 pm #

    “so in swedish if you say someone is a damned devil from hell”

    That won’t get me very far. I work for lawyers.

  16. avatar
    12str | 7 June 2006 at 2:05 pm #

    tjena stefan!!
    hoppas du och döttrarna får en bra dag…
    hälsa och gratulera…



  17. avatar
    Samosanx | 7 June 2006 at 2:18 pm #

    Many bloggs, haven’t read, public service inanity, quit whinging, you should try being a CHICK, where are all the poets? apart from you Killer? Sorry, pisssed in darwin where no one reads….(poor bugger me)yes companions in SK blogg, she might be about to lose it, for lack of stones, leaves, light, gently moving air, people who have even the merest connection to the universe….

    Thanks you’all

    xx Samosanx

  18. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 7 June 2006 at 2:35 pm #

    Happy bday to E&M.
    What other cool stuff did they get?

  19. avatar
    zallaz | 7 June 2006 at 2:40 pm #

    Sweden’s given the world some great music, The Cardigans, Soundtrack Of Our Lives and recently a charming lass Elin Ruth… slipped under most peoples radar so far in the UK but having seen her twice I hope she hits a wider audience… dontcha just luvre Apple gear, I know I do!!!

    Happy B’days zallaz

  20. avatar
    daydreamer | 7 June 2006 at 4:11 pm #

    My dad was Swedish, recently departed to Valhalla, bless him. We all had fun several yrs ago when he turned seventy seven, saying “hyuute hyuu” .. or somehting like that. I think that’s all the Swedish he knew.

    I think most Americans are spoiled and in denial (or ignorant) of what our country does and how it affects the rest of the world. We’re too addicted to our materialistic lifestyle, gas-guzzling cars, etc. You’re right tho, many of us are confused, and frustrated because we feel helpless to do anything about it. Esp. after we elected Gore and Bush still stole the presidency, with the help of the supreme court no less. I pretty much wrote my country off after that. Yesterday was the California primary, and for the first time since I came of age, I did not vote.

    Steve, would you ever consider posting pictures of you and your family? I’d love to see all of your girls.

    Have a beautiful day with your daughters..


  21. avatar
    Brian Turner | 7 June 2006 at 4:25 pm #

    Enjoy your holiday!

    Hope to see the church in Atlanta this tour..

    Rock on!

    Brian Turner
    Atlanta, Ga

  22. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 7 June 2006 at 5:33 pm #

    me was thinking about way back when, me am so happy to have found you once again…

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 June 2006 at 6:17 pm #

    hei Stefan Kilbeyson!
    det er godt å høre du har flotte dager sammen med tvillingene, og gratulerer med dagen til tvillingene og til deg(og karin).
    Sverige er et herlig nabo land,som har fostret mange flotte musikere,men vi kommer etter her i Norge.

    tab fra bodø

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 June 2006 at 12:54 am #

    Good morning Herr Kilbey,
    Sounds a little like Dutch to me.
    Happy Birthay to your girls.
    It’s my daughters on Sunday & I’m off to the country – Saturday a birthday party & Jess has asked me to do a few songs on the geetar so I might do Unified Field – got it down pat but it aint easy for a novice with the little lead thingy in between. Then a trip to Dubbo Zoo on Sunday with a tribe of 12yr old girls – wonder if we’ll see Dave Mason – wonder where he is these days.
    Oh it’s beautiful here today 36 degrees – hottest June day for 289 years…..
    just joking
    If you have nothing to do sometime you may wanna log on to Sydney Morning Herald & then to last Saturdays Good Weekend.
    There was an article on hydroponic versus natural.

    Have a good one.

    Dutch Pierre

  25. avatar
    mike a | 8 June 2006 at 1:46 am #

    I enjoy hearing about Sweden!! Happy Birthday to the twins!!

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 June 2006 at 3:49 am #

    Greetings from Southern California!

    I was married to a Swede for eleven
    years. Your take on the culture
    is dead on.
    Smoking pot is a big deal to them,
    I remember my ex saying not to talk
    about that with his family ever.
    And yet, there were a couple of
    raging alcoholics amongst them.

    He never missed the weather when
    he left there though.

    Happy Birthday to the Twillies!!


  27. avatar
    juniper | 8 June 2006 at 5:56 am #

    Finnish swearing is similar… husby translated once what he was yelling when a D.I.Y. project went wrong….it was something like “Oh, hammer!”…meaning “Oh, the hammer of God just hit me!” Of course, a couple of summers ago when my sister-in-law was yelling at her husby in a parking lot she quickly turned to me and gave me an English translation, which rolled off her tongue perfectly; that’s when I knew she and I could get along. 🙂

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