scarlet kilbey walks into a bar
gimme a shotta milk n make it snappy she says
no that isnt right
the doodles walk into a bar
give us 2 shots of milk they say
wait a minute that isnt right
elli n minna walk into a bar
give us 2 identical shots of……
now what would they order…?
while im waiting to figure this out
tim wolpes walks into a bar
2 other guys waiting for him
one extremely tall
the other has long dark hair tangled in grey
wolpes chatters excitedly
as a unicum slides down the long bar
well the killers finally lost it…ha ha!
the long haired guy says what now lads,eh?
wolpes sinks his unicum
and signals for another
the 3 men stare morosely at the carpet
all around people are playing the poker machines
hes stark raving over the cuckoos nest boys im telling you
just when we had that tour of the baltic states lined up
fuck it! theres some good record shops in riga…
yeah i hear ho-day is selling real well in latvia….
uh huh we probably gotta buncha a fanss there
but i mean…couldnt we just get a bass player in….?
not like its that hard to play a bloody bass….or what?
sound of laughter
and we’ll just sing em ourselves,eh?
who knows the words to “bubble and squeak?”
duh, ya can gettem off the internet
oh yeah anyway….im jus gonna make em up
yeah the “kids” in latvia wont know the difference will they?
nah, and we can send killer some money…yeah?
the sound of the poker machines and the bars chit chat
outside its raining
a dark cold afternoon
in the parking lot
a long dark shape pulls up
inside sits a dishevelled figure clutching the wheel
he stares at himself in the mirror
i am the killer he says to himself as a mantra
i am the killer as he slams shut the door
and strides to the entrance
bada bing says the sign
no that cant be right
he stumbles into the bar
as hes standing there
tony soprano takes him by the sleeve and pulls him
down a corridor
into a black office
soprano puts his face close to the killers
i thought i fuckin’ told you to lay low the crime boss barks
killer says but but but
didja take care of that little matter for me like i asked ya?
killer shakes himself loose
wait a minute…i thought you were managin’ me?
yesh i am says soprano …after you do that little job…
then youll get me outta my music sales contract
asked the killer, his face brightening
no problem winked soprano
suddenly nate from six feet under burst in
hey it isnt fair that youre the only hbo tv show
mentioned on killers blog…
hey nate aint you fuckin…you know…uh dead asked soprano
nah it was justa dream you know before the next season..
at least in my show they stay dead said soprano
..except for adriana n steve buscemi says the killer
will ya listen to this guy breaking balls said soprano
glaring at the killer
nate laughed… we reap what we sow, tony
aw shuttup nate…i saw ya in that silly wife swapping movie
said the killer under his breath
suddenly sir denniss hogforth-boare
the head of amalgamated records burst in
howdja like to all sing unguarded moment at
the commonwealth games…the olde version…!?
with the riffs an’ everything…? yeah count me in! said soprano
killer began ..cant we do the..
but a single frown from the mafia chief made him button his lip
yeah ok that sounds uh great he stammered
hey said tony
can we change that line to horses heads in beds?
the killer nodded
why not he smirked
scarlet kilbey walks into a bar