posted on July 6, 2009 at 11:17 pm

last nite
what does it matter now
we jump in the cars and drive some more
past terrible factories where people die for their living
past nice little streets with nice little houses
past alleyways and broken down buildings
jumped up border guards
who solemnly say
with no hint of irony:
sir, i’m protecting my country
and hes got that fervent look
and you know hes a bit mad mad mad
and the huge utes and wagons roll past
and the macdonalds got it all sewn up
a million truckstops
a million heart attacks
a million acres gone
but the earth aint infinite
when will it all give….?
yes i briefly met peter hammill
who is slender and quiet
like a oxford professor
i eat my dinner too close to show n go on feeling sluggish
after show i go back to hotel fleapitt and i sleep for 11 hours
still feel knackered today
still feel like a daze
a permanent reverie
i get angry if any one asks me anything
my reverie is rubbery an achey haze
we roll into buffalo
well its like a dead city downtown here
i get lucky we stay at the hyatt
nice room n everything
can you see it in the picture?
up high with a view over the city
the weather is overcastish n nondescriptish
the streets are emptyish
the town seems half closed down
is it a holiday here i ask someone
oh no no no no…they laugh n shake their heads
the theatre district seems emptyish too
hardly a person anywhere
is this the recession or what?
i go up to my room n sleep some more
all the late nights /early mornings come back n haunt me
sometimes i feel like i dont care
and it fills me with vertigo to not care
sometimes i’m just going through the emotions onstage
the words n notes come n go
a series of symbols i invented once
a long way from the source
i stand here somewhere
playing to these tables n chairs n these glasses of wine
what more could you want
what more could you expect
i shake peoples hands but my mind is far away
i pull my haze down over my head
yoga seems like a struggle with myself
i eat too much sugary rubbish
outside buffalo is most uninviting
the opposite of rome or melbourne with their bustling/hustling
buffalo seems deserted
the odd person wanders along
i cant go out there tonite and walk about
where to?
i am trapped within my hotelwomb
spending the summer up in buffalo
i wonder about that song i wrote
maybe it all happened in another world
maybe the city was something else
maybe i sit here now listening to popol vuh
its almost 8 in the even
ing and a weak sun tries for a last bit of shining
the weather is neutral
its like nothing
i look out over bridges trees houses
a city set up for winter
i feel more lonely than ever
as the tour comes to an end
i feel quite desolate
not because i dont want the tour to end
but some kinda angst….will this be the last
how can we ever turn it all around?
touring you love it and hate it
some nights youre on fire
some nights youre flat n weak
some knights are off
but to do what?
yoga …i guess
and rest a little
before the last hectic bit
tomorrow night buffalo
the night after n.y.c.
that should be chaos n mayhem in a nutshell
hadda nuff
see you later
i see we still have a little voice of a carping turkey
plaguing my comments
can you imagine the tedious jealousy that fuels his every word..?
oh…and i gotta get my eyes re-aligned
the left one is 4 inches above the right!
the ugly bastard

40 Responses to “knight off”

  1. avatar
    plumlady | 7 July 2009 at 12:28 am #

    I guess we all go through the same kinds of feelings of high energy and lonely sluggishness, even though most of us are not famous rock stars…hey, at least you've got that going for 'ya. I'm sure the tour is very tiring; good thing you're in such good shape boy. I seriously hope this isn't the last time you come through the states; we'd miss you and the music so very much….truly. Perhaps after the tour is over, and you're back home for awhile and regular life humdrum sets in, you'll long for the moments you've loved here and everything will feel great again. And maybe you'll miss us too from across the continents.

    Trying to get the hang of yoga…it's hot here, hard to focus, but I continue to try.
    Your fans love you Steve….hang in there!

  2. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 7 July 2009 at 12:46 am #

    Pick up your mood and pick up the new July 17 edition of Goldmine with Queen on the cover. Inside is a whole page 5 star review of # 23. Praised as The Church's best CD ever. It says The Cure and REM could never release such a paramount CD referred to as your statue of David. The only 5 star CD. Somebody must get this magazine to Kilbey. It's sold all over New York City.

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 1:00 am #

    Hang in there Steve just a few more shows then you will be back home with the family. and hopefully your great efforts will be rewarded. I know all my friends appresiate you coming a very long way.


  4. avatar
    m.p.k. | 7 July 2009 at 1:12 am #

    I feel similar SK, but I'm not on tour, I'm just at work. The world seems flat today. The surfaces have lost their dimensionality. Something big is shifting. Some of the old great lights are leaving. Something new must be coming. I think I want to stay up all night and watch the sun rise with some friends… That would be nice.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 1:13 am #

    I implore you to give up the smoke. You would be feeling so vastly different at this juncture if you'd breathed not a cubic centirmetre of that acrid crap on throughout the tour. But it's not too late – you can salvage your wellbeing before it's over.

    I have to confess to a very selfish motivation in this plea: I warrant that you would increase your genius and output by untold multiples if you went "clean"…and how I would love to see/hear/buy the result.

  6. avatar
    Paige | 7 July 2009 at 2:05 am #

    Hello again! I just downloaded photos from the Falls Church gig and have some lovely ones. If you would like me to share them I'm happy to. I'll send along to Sue C. Let me know if you'd like them to go to anyone else. My e-mail is below.

    I'm so happy for you that the tour is almost over and that you'll soon be covered in kisses from all your ladies. 🙂


  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 2:09 am #


    thanks for coming over to the States. great new album. wish you'd play the whole damn thing from start to finish. every two years, come on back, yer fans, most of the couple hundred or so are traveling from who the hell knows where. there is nothing to turn around. sell more shit at your table, it will sell in droves. make your living, don't lose money on your tour. don't cram the dates so close to ya have to kill yerself. hell, your only 54, i figure you have another 5 or 6 go rounds in you. at least. just take it slow, enjoy it, don't kill yerself by turning the tour/schedule/van rides into yer own factory.

    just finished lurie's book. i've listened to yer music since 86 or so, but had no idea about all the shit. shit, man. the band and you could have ended tragic. still, i've wondered about it after putting this book down, are you tragic or inspiring? or, what? don't know. don't think i got the full story,but am guessing i got some kind of real taste. the thing that blows my mind is all the fucking albums thru that tension, all the side projects, all the great songs, the creativity, with much of best work after the record companies told ya to go to hell, hard to keep that australian pink floyd hippie psychelic thing in the commercial mainstream (no shit, man), it's too good, but you kept/ keep pouring it out, am convinced yer best stuff still ahead of you. there is nothing to turn around. but what you could do,maybe, is what lurie suggests: put out that kick-ass album,the mother-fucking double album, take your time, write 5 hours of yer best, edit it/ condense it into the classic double, all 4 of you, let peter sing one, throw in the bugles, make the rolling stones all say 'holy, holy, fuck' this is fucking awesome, a sergeant pepper, how could they have played so many dates in these old theatres to only a few hundred,how damned lucky were those folk. an awesome body of work, yer band's a survivor man, got all 4 fuckers back, how are you back together? you've seen the up and the down, you've come out w/your musical integrity and your health in tact, only 54, your young man, you have great daughters, a wife you loves you and yer work, full support there. there is nothing to turn around. you won't appreciate the tour until you get home and have time to ponder it. you know this. it will sink in. the vibe will give you a karmic surplus up the ying yang. when you're ready, team up w/ marty/ peter/ tim write the next album. make it yer best.

    Qs that laurie should have gotten the answers to, but didn't include in the book (bah); (i) what the hell does 'priest=aura' mean; (ii) what's the connection betw the folks named in 'welcome'. answers, man, yeah, I know you don't have answers, but you got these.

    if any leftover karmic debt from this old steve guy (still confused by this old/ new steve thing), cayce would say you can erase by filling the awkard moment of silence w/ the egghead fan who sticks around after yer show by simply filling that void by saying 'thanks for coming out to see us tonight.' it will make their fucking day. aint that hard. you won't lose yer edge or yer mystery. if yer gonna come out from behind yer curtain and prove to us yer human, be nice man. we appreciate you and your music. love the survivors. you got to keep living and playing and touring. but theres plenty of time for everything. remember, you take the experience from ages 54 to 100 into your next lifetime, so you gotta keep at it.

    buffalo set request; play the whole Untitled album, start to finish.

    wilfred paradise

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 2:23 am #

    Steven….. Remember Alex and that whole experience. That's more than enough to keep you motivated. New world, new audience, new generation of love, peace, music and the live experience of it all. Kids, adults, and tweens totally rapt. That will make the creation…the new music…the tours…and the encounters and trips well worth it for a long, long time. We've been through it all.

    Thanks man,


  9. avatar
    JJ | 7 July 2009 at 2:52 am #

    I feel disconnected often, when I travel for my daily bread. Far-off places sometimes, like Honduras – a dangerous place for ye olde democracy it seems, of late. They chase cheap labour, exporting jobs, same 'ol, same 'ol. The cities I've been too, hospitals using our new stuff, feeling disconnected, but I drive off into the night looking for the quiet cafe, a refuge of sorts, a high point with a view in the evening breeze, lights glowing below while the city sleeps to hide. Trading my hours for a handful of dimes. No longer in my prime. My hotel room the womb I heard of in that song, so powerful, so beautiful, seemingly so long ago. I like to travel by myself; the others – well, I get along fine with colleagues, co-worker types, but I am apart. I don't share their enthusiasm for wasting hours and whidling away the evening in hotel wombs. I wander places, and I drive at night as the sun recedes.

    Been enjoying your travelogue, observations, pauses, thoughts and ruminations. The photos capture the scenes. I am stunned that you can even find the time to write sometimes, on sparse sleep, and the parsimony of rest. I'm on the other end, receiving the coded messages being tapped out on a laptop somewhere, some new city, some old city, somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

    Your eyes are fine. Best of luck in Buffalo; city of a fine song, but I've never been.


  10. avatar
    Kent | 7 July 2009 at 2:53 am #

    Hello Steve..I must say I was quite happy to hear that you would be making a stop so close to me…. I have enjoyed your music for over 20 years now..and I suppose enjoy is not quite an apt description..something about what you have created speaks to me.. many of your songs have a dark quality that somehow uplifts me……I can identify with them more than most. You are some kind of mad genius I suppose….. It's interesting to read your day to day thoughts….. Todays entry makes it sound like this is all a big pain in the ass ..perhaps it is…I'm not much of a city person..and buffalo is known for its depressed..industrial appearance…doesnt help much if youve got the blues…anyway..I dont even know if you will read this..but if you do..I wanted to thank you for all the music you have made…it truly has been a big part of what makes me happy..I hope you can find some joy in that truth… Kent

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 2:59 am #

    How about we just leave him alone about his pot…some of the most creative people I know smoke pot and do just fine in life. Wouldn't it be sad if he quit and then all the music went to blah, blah, blah

  12. avatar
    Brenton Diaz | 7 July 2009 at 3:26 am #

    Steve, I've been so looking forward to this Buffalo show for months. I know it's an uninspiring, putrid kind of town, but let that only inspire you, peeve you off, unnerve you to heights and depths in your rock. Take care of yourself tomorrow, enjoy the little break, call home and get some strength. And at the show tomorrow, I'll be the goofy guy smiling and sighing his way through his first Church show…

  13. avatar
    CSTCoach | 7 July 2009 at 3:44 am #

    just picked up the Art, Man & Technology box set at last night's show, and listened to the first 5 or 6 tracks tonight.


    (throw a few extra "fuck's" in there, in the place of your choice)

    Why isn't anyone talking about it???

    Why aren't you flogging the piss outta this??? Only a couple cryptic mentions on the blog. That doesn't do it justice.

    Fucking hell, this is the coolest thing since Earthed and Nineveh! But it's better than both of those. Your writing is tighter, your images more precise, and your reading voice and rhythm dead on.

    I implore all of you who loved Earthed or Nineveh or Eden or Fruit Machine – and anyone who digs songs like On Angel Street, Fall in Love, and Saltwater – to order your copy immediately. This is the best kept secret around here at the moment. I won't be surprised to see them snapped up like chum at Marine Land, and fetching huge prices on ebay.

    jeeesus fuck, what a great ride!

    esskay, you never cease to inspire.

  14. avatar
    Damien | 7 July 2009 at 4:15 am #

    I received my copy of Lurie's book in the mail yesterday and have devoured it already.

    There were a few things that I did not know about you that came as some surprise, like the fact that you were married to Michelle Parker.

    Lurie's analysis of your lyrics would have been better had he not gotten so many of them wrong!

    It is truly amazing that after 29 years and all of the band's travails with sales, managers and drugs that you guys are still playing together.

    Lurie's book is flawed but it will do for now until you write your autobiography.

    Enjoy the rest of the tour.

  15. avatar
    Craig Miller | 7 July 2009 at 4:24 am #

    I'd be worried about you if you WEREN'T feeling run down a bit after the schedule you guys have done. Touring in a van the way you guys do would take a toll on a 20 year old vegan yoga master. Hang in there, and know that you're inspiring people.
    After all, I'm approaching a month of vegetarianism, and had my fifth yoga session today.
    But it's the music that matters. My life and the life of so many others would be far duller and more humdrum and depressing and bleak without the music of the church to tweak our emotions.

    I guess what I'm saying is, we all appreciate how hard it must be, and we thank you for sticking with it all these years.

    Excited to read the Goldmine review. Have a great show in New York. Kate's Joint is a good veggie place near my old apartment in the East Village at Avenue B and 4th st. Wish I could be there.

  16. avatar
    Jasperina | 7 July 2009 at 4:48 am #

    Go gently on thyself sweet sir. You'll grow as you always have. I still pinch myself that you still do what you do.

  17. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 7 July 2009 at 6:36 am #

    It has been quite a recent discovery how i have noticed a place means nothing
    compared to how you feel about it.

    You would think it would be the place that would influence.

    No, you bring your own circus into town.
    Are those happy monkees?

    or are they really disgruntled Wallendas?

    It is simply a feeling of your view.


  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 7:55 am #

    Anon at 12:59, if the music goes to blah he can just get straight back on the gear. That's fine, but wouldn't it be nice to know one way or the other? That's all I'm suggesting – a test, an experiment. It'd be highly instructive for us all. Even your creative friends.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 9:21 am #

    Hello old chap,

    I see your pix and think how alone you are there…there should be a crowd of girls around your shoulders in each one. You must miss them so. I had to go to Brisbane last week and missed my little gang and was only away a night!

    Hope you can see them soon.


  20. avatar
    verdelay | 7 July 2009 at 9:45 am #

    Ask the amphora how she feels about the wine.

    What does she know?

    She's the vessel, the carrier, the one who connects the vinyard to the goblet. She cannot understand the mysteries of the former, nor the pleasures of the latter.

    To her, the wine is a burden, a great sloshing mass of ferment. Men die for her and she can't understand why. Boats burn and go down and she is lost for centuries. When she is recovered she is perplexed: why did you come looking for me?

    Before the harvest she is empty and yearning; after the feast she is empty and spent. In between she carries her load with a stopper over her mouth and her arms tied behind her back.

    Without her the earth could not talk to the heavens, nor the heavens to the earth.

  21. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 7 July 2009 at 11:33 am #

    ….you'll flog yourself along even though you feel like shit and then when you get home you'll sleep for about four days straight….must admit fatigue overcome me last night and i collapsed into bed rather early….

    love the tastefully arranged cushions….

    cst coach, yes i want that package i want it i want it i want it but i couldn't find it on sk's art site
    last time i looked…bugger, not fair….

    love always…..

  22. avatar
    A. Kite | 7 July 2009 at 12:58 pm #

    Hey Man,

    You are the rock and the roll. Kill 'em in NY! Wish I could be there to cheer you on.

  23. avatar
    Freddie | 7 July 2009 at 12:58 pm #

    “oh…and i gotta get my eyes re-aligned
    the left one is 4 inches above the right!”

    There ain’t nothin’ wrong with yor eyes. And I should know: I’ve zoomed close in on em numerous times! 😉

    I know it’s hard to resist the quick pick-me-up but caffeine and sugar are deadly to your energy and nerves over the long haul….but you already know this (hugs).

    I seriously doubt this is the last time we’ll see The Church in America. Writing songs is like breathing to you M’ Lord. You can’t help it. You can’t stop it. It’s what you do. And in a couple of years there will be a brand new baby album and we’ll all be so very excited about it!

  24. avatar
    Athanasius Pernath | 7 July 2009 at 1:28 pm #

    merhaba steve-bey (and everyone), if you need a laugh/a strange feeling/a wtf-feeling on your tour, i just found that guy who apparently recorded a strange cover of Aura in that dusty nick cave/morricone/louis tillett style. it actually MADE me think about how cave would cover it…and it would go down smoothly. it's somewhere on that mice-pays-player:

    yer humble survant

  25. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 7 July 2009 at 1:40 pm #

    Listen to Air's new single Do The Joy on YouTube. Very raw and cool.

  26. avatar
    frostatmidnight | 7 July 2009 at 1:46 pm #

    Sounds like you missed Buffalo altogether and accidentally stepped into Charn instead with the empty streets and dying sun!

    The American/Canadian border once used to be so easy to get across, but the border guards really are all jumped up these days and heading over the border is an absolute pain now. Ah well, you're doing it all for a good cause, right?


  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 1:54 pm #

    I'm still stuck on the Forster album Steve. And yours as well. They both sound great in summer. Try to tap into that potent energy you had in Portland.

    Buffalo is not known as an inspiring place. While in Buffalo it's best to think of other places…Sweden perhaps!


  28. avatar
    SALLY | 7 July 2009 at 2:32 pm #

    The suburban sprawl along the Cdn/US border can be downright depressing indeed. It's all about moving trucks and cars. Convenience with billboards left and right. If you have been feeling like you're going through the motions it certainly hasn't come through in your performance. Don't worry soon you'll be in lovely NYC and I hope you like Quebec City – very charming. Take care and thanks again for the shows/music.

  29. avatar
    I SATELLITE | 7 July 2009 at 2:41 pm #

    Check out these great Church photos from the July 3rd gig:

  30. avatar
    SALLY | 7 July 2009 at 2:44 pm #

    "PS" from Sally: Damn, I've been the Buffalo and yes, the downtown is like many US cities – deserted – everyone flees after work. There are however some fabulous parts of the city area (Allentown) and lots of wonderful architecture (Frank Lloyd Wright houses abound) and the Albright-Knox art gallery is beautiful. It may be too late at this stage to ask how to get there…but hope you get to see a bit of the area outside of the downtown core. I love living in Toronti, but I do miss Sydney and Melbourne!

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 3:11 pm #

    And nobody helps me
    And nobody knows
    Nobody left in this city with its…
    Its hits and its blows

  32. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 7 July 2009 at 4:03 pm #

    Aarh. Wish the Untitled # 23 review in Goldmine Magazine was online.

  33. avatar
    veleska1970 | 7 July 2009 at 6:03 pm #

    it's good that you're finally getting some sleep. you'll be home soon.

  34. avatar
    Cee | 7 July 2009 at 6:08 pm #

    I went to Buffalo once…ONCE!!

  35. avatar
    Anthony | 7 July 2009 at 6:46 pm #

    I just wanted to send a quick note and thank you for the two shows Olivia and I attended (and thanks for the jazz backstage in Falls Church). We had a great time as usual. I've been feeling a bit of a letdown also, like you described… it always happens after a few Church shows as I go back to my "normal" life. But, after five days, it was great to get home to our kids… I can't imagine what it's like for you to be apart from yours for so long. Also wanted to say hi from Angie. I was supposed to pass that along, but I forgot. As usual, every time I talk to you, I end up going blank and coming away feeling like a complete idiot! Oh, and thanks for The Church's support of autism research. It means a lot to me because as you know, we have a son with autism. He's a true inspiration for us and it's good to know you and the band support this cause. Also wanted to tell you you look great… the swimming and yoga really has turned back time for you.

    I've been trying to figure out a way to take in one more show, but it looks like it's not going to happen. Good luck with the remainder of the shows and have a safe trip home.

    Much love,

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 7:08 pm #

    your left nut is bigger than the right one

  37. avatar
    davem | 7 July 2009 at 8:14 pm #

    You're a genius.
    I hope you tour again, but it's great to know you're continuing to release stunning sounds for us to enjoy.
    Look at the last year: Painkiller, Shriek, KK, 2 ep's and U#23.
    It's quite remarkable SK and very much appreciated.

  38. avatar
    m.p.k | 7 July 2009 at 8:26 pm #

    Just got my copy of "No Certainty Attached". Can't wait to dive in!

  39. avatar
    JohnJayJay | 7 July 2009 at 8:39 pm #

    I hope its not, but would understand if it is…

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 July 2009 at 8:59 pm #


    I've been feeling a bit glum myself these past few weeks and I found myself laughing rather hard today when I read the comment about your left nut. It seems sometimes Laughter is the best medicine. I guess you're not as perfect as I imagined having assymetrical nuts and all, still admire you to no end.


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.