posted on May 18, 2006 at 8:31 pm

why hello there
thank vishnu its friday
lord maha-vishnu
asleep in the causal ocean
universes floating out of his pores as he dreams
as he dreams this all up
merrily merrily merrily merrily
life is but a dream
no solidity
all is vibration
those sublime rishis had it all sussed
when the europeans were still dressed in skins
all is vibration
if you reduce the solid matter of a human being
you have a little bag of ash
we are almost nothing
our senses have fooled us
we believe in this maya around us
we set limitations on our selves
and others
we forget our past lives
last nite i had a bizarre dream
i was someone else
in another place
during the dream i couldnt remember
that i was steven kilbey
lying in my bed dreaming….?!
what hope do we have of remembering our other lives
people say to me
wow..you learnt painting fast…
no
thats not true
i can remember painting
and music
and poetry
from other lives
you see when i am still enuff
or stoned enuff
or unawares enuff
the past seeps thru the barriers
that have been erected
to stop us going crazy remembering our past lives
i dunno about you baby
but i was born with all kindsa knowledge
feelings
inclinations
inexplicable
sometimes i am so close to my other lives
i can hear the voices
when i paint n draw
my sk mind goes quiet
and the artists that i have been
before
guide me
sometimes sk is going
no no
what the fuck are you doing that for
“trust us” say the voices
and the less sk interferes
the better it is
i go into a trance
and the other men and women in me
take over
i wake up from time to time
whats going on
“shh ssshhh” say the voices
“leave this to us”
consequently
the more i meditate
the more i do yoga
the more i swim
and(unfortunately)
the more i smoke pot
the better everything i do gets
that accounts for the hchcurs great surge in 2002
our surge in creativity
i was back
no longer a tired burnt out podgy middleaged struggler
baby i fought long n hard against smack
and lethargy
and indifference
i reinvented my self
steve kilbey # ?
depends how you count
id say during the hchcurs lifetime
at least 4 sks
the 1st naive bigmouth pretty youth
the 2nd successful cynical manne
the 3rd puffy heroin wreck
the 4th the modern sk
the olde but super energetic druid
up early
typing bloggs
and fiddling round with pastels
i have more energy now than when i was 18
these eastern disciplines work people
dont complain to me if youre a lazy bloated
meat eating tv watching ciggy sucking
olde bore
veganism, people
so you can vibrate
so you dont weigh down yer body
with dead rotting sludge
and bad karma
and pain
yoga, people
for flexibility
to potentiate your talents
for the union of heaven and earth
for discipline
meditation, people
for wisdom
sincerity
peace
happiness
knowledge
chi gong
for cosmic energy
swimming
for endurance
for breath
for more discipline
(you think the lazy slug in me
wants to dive in a 13 degree pool
on a cold raining winter morning????)
and finally
and most controversially
pot
yes i know pot causes paranoia
and psychic episodes in some people
i do not recommend it to
kids
teenagers
nervous people
people with a history of….
(insert yer own nasty thing here)
but im sorry
i aint no couch potatoe pothead
smoking bongs and watching jerry sprengler
yep theres plenty of them i know
im sorry
i have to say
to the outrage of my detractors
pot has always worked for me
after 34 years of smoking the stuff
it has unfailingly helped me re arrange my brain
re connect the wires in my mind…
i hear a c major chord
and i hear the limitless songs contained therein
i see a phrase and songs and poems fly to me
i pick up my pastels and they draw by themselves
no who among you can argue with 34 years of experience
it has ALWAYS worked for ME
we have a symbiotic relationship
dont compare pot to smack
they have nothing in common
if i run outta pot
i wont steal murder rob to get it
i might feel a little bored or restless
yes thats true..
but i wont pawn my fucking bass to get it
pots badde fer yer lungs
i admit that
it makes ya eat more than you should
i admit that
it has had injurious effects on some people
and i dont promote it willy nilly
but this is my diary
this is my world
i pull no punches here, fiendss
thats why you coming to love me so much
thats why i coming to love you so much
my blogge is the truth
and i aint hiding nuthing from ya
why should i?
i gotta a great life going on
and im happy to share it with ya
im grateful to the lord for letting me have
this day and my daily bread
and im enthusiastic and brimming over
with a thousand ideas
i can do anything i like
and i fucking will too
if you dig it
stick around
if you dont
heres yer money back
sk iou $0.00
have a nice day, fiendss
i’ll be thinking of ya

37 Responses to “look out honey, im using technology…..aint got time to make no apology”

  1. avatar
    persephone2u | 18 May 2006 at 9:39 pm #

    Yes, but this maya all around is just PERFECT! At least, it is for me at the moment. Perfect beyond belief in fact. And so even if it is an illusion it’s an awfully nice one and I embrace it wholeheartedly and will never let it go. At least not for awhile…

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 May 2006 at 9:43 pm #

    Right on, Kilbey! I dig where you`re at. Your blogs are getting better and better and better! How come you`re living on the other side of the planet. You`re the cat that I want to share a chat with…! Spend some time with, before I go on exploring other states of mind, other multiverses, other kinds of music, words. literature, paintings and everything else that really matters in life. Before the big ILLUSION dissolves and we`re all back at……..

  3. avatar
    veleska1970 | 18 May 2006 at 9:44 pm #

    it’s wonderful you’re no longer on that horrible smack!!! i think, though, you would not have as much clarity now if you hadn’t gone through that unfortunate phase of your life.

    so…..how is your family doing? i hope everybody’s ok, especially your mom.

  4. avatar
    OTTOMT | 18 May 2006 at 9:45 pm #

    So the back is feeling better…si?
    This fella Tom just delivered a happily baked goodie, taking it with us to Mendocino…let you know how it mixes with the hot tub.
    CPE

  5. avatar
    flowerpower | 18 May 2006 at 9:56 pm #

    Creativity is the supreme endevour of the human species and you SK
    (+ the rebirth of the chooruch)have inspired me to buy some new keyboards and start me on an ambient composition journey..love “the avenue” – have it on repeat while trance driving down the highway…

    Dr. Phil

  6. avatar
    Banquo's ghost | 18 May 2006 at 10:27 pm #

    Hail to thee Kilbey, Thane of Cherch

    Top o’ the morn to ye and another fine addition to thy blogge

  7. avatar
    veleska1970 | 18 May 2006 at 10:41 pm #

    went back and re-read your blog, this time in more depth…..(didn’t have time earlier, i just skimmed over it.)

    like i said, maybe it’s a good thing you went through that yucky phase. maybe getting popped by noo yawk city’s finest was God tapping you on the shoulder. i think i can confidently speak for all your faithful subjects when i say that the downward spiral you were on was one that we didn’t want our beloved sk to continue sliding down.

    ***shudder***

    you’re an old soul. i remember hearing you say in an interview quite some years ago how you were a “great believer in reincarnation” (your words verbatim) and that you just recently went to a museum exhibit of some artifacts that were excavated from carthage~~one of your incarnations. your artistic talent in this life is, as you say, a result of many incarnations being channeled through this one you’re in right now.

    (btw~~some months after that interview that very same exhibit came to new orleans and i went to see it. it was very exquisite!!)

  8. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 18 May 2006 at 11:31 pm #

    …everything comes around sooner or later…

  9. avatar
    fergal | 18 May 2006 at 11:44 pm #

    go sk!
    u cannabinoid-ophile yogi …
    keep up the good stuff
    ~

  10. avatar
    lily | 18 May 2006 at 11:46 pm #

    As another wonderful poet, Mr. Edgar Allan Poe once said, “all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream”. So true. I’m with ya on the veganism and I, too, feel close to the many incarnations and reincarnations of myself. Funny how that works. Good blog today, Sir Steve.

  11. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 19 May 2006 at 12:01 am #

    can’t wait to see YOU again…
    mjnjr

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2006 at 12:08 am #

    I gotta get me one a those vapouriserz.
    You’re that fucking stoned you posted ur blog twice.
    You’re that stoned that in the ad for ur gig at Wine Banq you look exactly like Peter Koppes!
    Should be interesting tonite – I might pop along.
    Kapitan – are you coming?
    I had a dream last night too – I was listening to Triple J & after some talk back they went straight into a really stripped down version of Easy ( not acoustic) & it sounded really good & you had the sense they were playing it 20 times aday – weird because the dream didnt last that long – it was only a snippet.

    Dutch Pierre

  13. avatar
    verdelay | 19 May 2006 at 12:18 am #

    A few pre-emptive tokes…

    If I go out in the morning and get knocked down by a milk float, I don’t blame the front door.

    If I look out the window and I don’t like the view, I don’t blame the glass.

    If I sweep West out of Central Asia and my emergent civilization doesn’t gain entry into the second Doha Round of free trade talks, I don’t blame it on the development of equine genetics East of the Tien Shan.

    (exhale)

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2006 at 12:21 am #

    Thanks SK, great to be positively uplifted by your blog today…your comment on self-reinvention is spot on…is amazing and a testament to self-reinvention how different you look in person to a few years ago…extraordinary stuff…a bit run down before, and now positively LUMINOUS….funny, is it any coincidence the past few Church albums have similarly taken on a delicious luminosity…your music is your diary, too, not just the blog, and is perhaps even a more accurate snapshot of your changing psyche and your striding towards assorted epiphanies…what a nice word, epiphanies….and thanks again for the daily life…

  15. avatar
    the dean | 19 May 2006 at 12:31 am #

    the current version of sk is the best.
    Speaking of the great surge in creativity are there any plans for another church album?
    we’re hooked, ultc is so good, more can only be better.

  16. avatar
    mike a | 19 May 2006 at 1:26 am #

    I’m so glad the veganism, meditation, yoga, and swimming are working out for you – it sounds like a great time in your life.

    I think your right about the pot – if it helps you create, than I’m all for it.

  17. avatar
    Fireseed | 19 May 2006 at 2:18 am #

    my dear steve and friends
    greetings from a different sk – south korea
    lovely to meet you out here on the great big www
    never dreamed that we could talk like this
    steve, your blog inspires me
    reminds me of my happy stay in sydney all those years ago
    in fact youve inspired me to start my very own blog – see you there some time
    love to you all
    fireseed

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2006 at 2:24 am #

    Not that I care either way, but if you’ve been stoned for 35 years, how can you even remember what being straight is like? How can you compare these 2 states of being? And are all your hindu gods pro the ‘pot = pan’ theory?

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2006 at 2:46 am #

    sometimes i’ve thought that you just might slip on out of here soon
    because you appear to be vibrating at levels only reached with certain awareness
    this is a beautiful thing really
    but achingly sad for us mere mortals still trying to learn the ropes
    thanks for our time together so far

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2006 at 2:53 am #

    i digge it. though pot has given me psychOTic episodes, bad trips if you will, and i don’t smoke it anymore. i agree with you that i am one of the nervous ones. not recommended for nervous trypes. so meditation and long hikes do wonders for me.

  21. avatar
    juniper | 19 May 2006 at 5:49 am #

    Hallelujia for altered states. Totally agree with you about other times/places and dreams….I’ve dreamt things and they’ve happened, too….perhaps not to the “t”, but they do…and how can it be that I’ve seen/heard something for the first time, in a country I’m exploring for the first time, and I’ve been there/seen it before somewhere….in some time…it happens, and it’s wild when it does. Not always altered when it occurs, but pleased when that’s the case. Or…when you meet someone and you just know you already know them….Hallelujia for altered states!

  22. avatar
    Pharaoh | 19 May 2006 at 7:45 am #

    Nice entry SK.

    If you ever need someone to smoke bongs with next time youre up in Brizbane…

    no Jerry Sprengler, I guarantee.

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2006 at 7:50 am #

    Wonderful and profound! Today’s blog is one of my personal favourites! It’s certainly made me think a lot about who we are and where we are going…
    love, peace and bliss
    rehan

  24. avatar
    Fandorin | 19 May 2006 at 9:26 am #

    SK spotted the moody and enigmatic, Bremen-born Edmund Kuepper the same moment as he was spotted by him. He walked up to him and the old genii hugged.

    “You’re almost as moody and enigmatic as myself, didya know?”, said the Saint.

    “You too are bursting with mood and enigma”, said the doctor of the Church.

    “Accept my card”, said the Saint. “I’ll think of you’re velvety voice when i’ll let the unusually capoed strings of my guitar ring next time.”

    “Accept my card”, said the karmic celebrity, “I’ll think of you whenever a song both desperate and warm, like your always-slightly-complaining-but-sad voice materializes in my hands.”

    After another stern look, the moody and enigmatic men parted and left a double-genius-shaped hole hovering in the cathedral air.

    Sue C, you’re not the only one dreaming…

  25. avatar
    rubikon | 19 May 2006 at 9:44 am #

    Steve.

    The four stages of Steve:

    “the 1st naive bigmouth pretty youth
    the 2nd successful cynical manne
    the 3rd puffy heroin wreck
    the 4th the modern sk
    the olde but super energetic druid”

    I guess I’m still at the cynical Manne stage whilst still being open to persuasion

    How does one get from successful cynical manne to puffy heroin wreck? Do you wake up one day and say to yourself “Man, it’s a beautiful day, I think I’ll go and score some smack?” How does that happen?

    Perhaps I’m being naïve but I don’t think anything would persuade me to go there.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-drugs per-se – I love a little smoke now and again – although perhaps not quite as much as you 😉 – and the hallucinogenics were, shall we say, interesting! – (I think the whole human race should try some of that stuff – it would wake them up a bit).

    It’s none of my business I guess but, I’m glad you’re off the gear.

    Love the new album btw.

    Ciao

  26. avatar
    12str | 19 May 2006 at 10:19 am #

    its creative,that mindkicking little weed…..
    not so many understand this…
    a potsmoker is similar to a smackaddict,at least here in sweden..what a world!!

    12str

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2006 at 11:59 am #

    Only started reading this blog when I stumbled across it after thinking about Grant the other day… and chains of thought, like web hyperlinks lead from one thing to the next. How fantastic a discovery. I so desperately needed reminding how much I enjoy this struggle – that the trick isn’t to fight against it, to figure out how to overcome it, to find the easy way – it’s to treasure it. Ta sk.

    L.

  28. avatar
    John Garratt | 19 May 2006 at 1:19 pm #

    Man, I envy everybody here. I’m confused and scared by the world. And I’m scared of drugs.

  29. avatar
    crucified in space | 19 May 2006 at 1:35 pm #

    The final paragraph to Alexander’s Space, Time and Deity (vol 1 of 2):

    “Consider Space-Time, or indeed the universe however conceived, as lifted above its parts (or appearances as they are called), as something from which they represent a fall and degeneration; and the parts are unreal ultimately because of their finitude. Let it be the stuff or medium in which things are cultivated, and things of all kinds suffer from their finitude only in their incompleteness. They are not the whole reality but they are real in themselves, and it is only our imperfection as finites which conceals from us partially their true nature; how that is they are delimited against each other in Space-Time. Within this Matrix there may then be progressive types not so much of reality as of merit or perfection, as a rose may be a more perfect thing than a stone. There is room for an ascending scale of such perfection. But everything that truly is is really. The One is the system of the Many in which they are conserved not the vortex in which they are engulfed.”

    These are words worthy of Lord Vishnu himself, but they were said by another boy from Oz nearly 100 years ago.

  30. avatar
    buckmoose | 19 May 2006 at 2:33 pm #

    I finally was able to listen to ULTC last night “under the influence” as it were…paid particular attention to the creative use of acoustic guitar textures on this album, some of the best towards the back of the mix. The acoustics lend a feeling a “breath” to the tracks. Also found my attention pulled towards the magnificent drumming of Tim Powles, the way he takes natural, straight-time Church rhythm and gently syncopates it…the Church now GROOVES in spite of it’s self-confessed “whiteness”, creating a stronger earth-to-sky axis. With a good, deep groove like that, one can reach higher into space.

    Good luck on tonight’s gig…

  31. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 19 May 2006 at 3:26 pm #

    very funny, mr versions of youself. how about…

    – the all-seeing, all-knowing dope desperado of campbell parade?
    – the wolf father of jingle jangle? (am i really getting under your goat now?)
    – the de-bloated, de-smacked, lentilized lay preacher who’s gonna drop all his fans into a big well of ccruhh-blog withdrawal on the given day?
    – stevie the kinde
    – steven the terrible of bloggforth-on-wellington…

    oh release the hounds, cry nevermore, calloo callay, away away it’s off to never never land with mr sandman now,

    eternal love

  32. avatar
    CSTCoach | 19 May 2006 at 3:41 pm #

    the choich takes me to altered states. or maybe alters my states. i get some of my best, deepest writing plugged into the choicn on phones.

    i like the most recent sk incarnation.

  33. avatar
    Pär Ekstrand | 19 May 2006 at 6:15 pm #

    Hi Steve !

    I saw that you will be in Sweden this summer.
    Since there is no Church concert can’t you do a solo one ?

    Regards
    Pär Ekstrand
    Stockholm (Ingarö)

  34. avatar
    B Raine | 19 May 2006 at 6:59 pm #

    “dont complain to me if youre a lazy bloated
    meat eating tv watching ciggy sucking
    olde bore”

    you gotta great life. we know that.
    you worked through the times when you didnt , remember where you come from where you’ve been, Im 33 I dont think im a bore say what you will about tv,some say your mind actually decreases function while watching.. I smoke.
    not sure if im bloated.
    remember life aint all peaches and roses. Theres hassles. the majority of people are either extremeley rich or extremeley poor…im extremeley poor, and if life were just about money id already of thrown in the towel. Just remember Your you, You feel how you do fucking express it ..Its yours
    my issue is similiar to an x-smoker
    telling someone to”just” quit
    or an x-junkie to have no sympathy for a present junky.. Im not sayin invitem in your home….just remember what you’ve been through……
    seems some people, once the’ve become
    above certain actions, though even if they acted the same way and it took a long ass time to change ,,cant have tolerance for the ones that are on that very path, not identical, but general path from negative tailspinning behavior mind-body beeing out of balance….
    to beeing in sync. The best thing The Dali-Lama ever spoke on was Love.
    true LOve…meaning to use the love that others have shown us to help others who want to be on a spiritual path attain that…and its not a
    pick and choose help, its helping all humanity, if youve been given love, you need to give it out, and should be talking in the first person, I feel for those out there strung out, but I do not take them in…However I have an understanding I will Help Them By giving them Love. By helping the ones who desire a better life, to me thats]
    what i see people miss…myself, its about not only beeing greatful to whoever for your great life…
    I guess to me one cannot be true until
    one remembers all the love given him and takes that and gives it back..
    Its easy for me to be content and say
    fuck that person if hes not living how I think he should, dont come crying…But when ive lived in their shoes i cannot go against any man who is striving….no matter what obstacles, no matter what karma he has to pay, for a life that he cannot remember….

  35. avatar
    Malika | 19 May 2006 at 7:48 pm #

    Today, been thinking of U too Steve
    [but I do it everyday anyway !]
    Bought lots of canvasses.
    Mostly square and oblong formats.
    My fav’, to tell U the truth…
    Bought some acrylic paints too.

    Not so hard finding inspiration in the end…
    Thanks to U all partly.

    I’m gonna create again & again…
    More than ever.
    I’m gonna make something more poetic, colourful & joyful too.
    Before I go to see U…
    Somewhere in France ??
    [The big question mark…]
    Hoping to be able to show U some of my works ?…
    I’d like U to see how much U
    And lots of other people can inspire me.
    An exhibition in Oz someday ??
    Yes, why not ?…
    But… oh what a dream !!…

    “this blogg will close down on 22 nov this year”, U said.
    Was it a dream or did U really say
    U were going to release a book with all your bloggs ?
    Well, if it really is the case, that sounds interesting.
    Anyway, I personally think U’ve taken a wise decision.

    Had to comment about your blogg today
    ‘Cos what U just wrote today
    Moved me to tears…
    One of the most moving bloggs U’ve ever written yet.

    I’m really grateful to U Steve.
    ‘Cos U let express myself like never I did…
    How kind & human U are.
    My english’s not always so perfect, I know.
    But U understand what I always mean, don’t ya ?
    Knowing very well I’m not the only fan…

    I’m finishing this comment
    Listening to one of my alltime fav’ songs :
    ‘Quiet Heart’.

    Yes, let us stay cool and zen,

    Love,

    Malika

  36. avatar
    Pharaoh | 19 May 2006 at 9:57 pm #

    Quiet Heart is sublime… every time I’ve played it since Grant’s passing (numerous times) it has moved me to tears… I only knew Grant’s heart through his music and yet I miss it deeply.

    Thank Vishnu for your reinvention SK #4, and that we’re not mourning the loss of your goode self instead. May your great creative surge continue for many moons to come… along with your tour for some elektric ULTC dates back in Oz later in the year perhaps?

    A fiend can dream, can’t he…

  37. avatar
    MEM | 19 May 2006 at 11:00 pm #

    Elements of the // modern universe: NEW AND IMPROVED!

    Announcing: ULTC plays like the soundtrack
    To a lost Gnostic gospel.

    And speaking of last night.
    Here’s another time/space

    Continuum,
    My revelations:

    You are/were my evil twin.
    And I was/am yours.

    I know that’s brazen. But serious as the
    Stars.

    And here I am

    Tribally, un-connected.

    Blissful.

    Full enough
    To be empty.

    In my own time
    And being.

    My new abstracts (abstracts, Man, you’re so fukin there, Get a big fuckin canvas someday, SK, bigger than your comfortable with, big enough to make your nervous, big enough you gotta take a wall out in ur house, the side of a mountain, a skyscraper, a view from the illusion above. I’ll look for you there) are about
    Gethsemane.

    What that Garden
    Night was all about.

    No more secrets.
    Not for now. Talk to me,

    I’m listening

    To every word,

    Brother,

    Lover,

    Wife,

    Mother,

    Creator

    of

    All


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