posted on December 21, 2005 at 9:20 pm

meanwhile
in a reality not far from here
our humble hero sk
and his boyish sidekick, jc
are planning their next attack upon showbiz
and its cast of imbeciles and pigs
jc is a small elfin man with dark hair and a sly grin
sk is tanned with a white beardy
jc (in heavy transatlantic accent)
so, olde wrocker, time to launch our next sonic assault
sk(an awful cross between aussie bricklayer and pommie twit)
not so fast olde pal….so many cretins left unmoved
despite our knockout manifesto and our gangbustin’ reviews
jc
here are 2 new cds full of esoteric guitars
full of obscure basses
full of distant plaintiff pianos
full of drum loops that will blow down the kingdom of the “straights”
sk
eh, whats that about fuckin dire straits?
jc
tis true, the sonic wars have taken a toll on thy hearing

meanwhile
some where in an office
in hollywood
in paris
in london
in sydney
the “straights” are getting worried
fat evil record exec w/beeer gut + w/gold chain (hes a cancer):
sbeen a long time since izzydore launch that last sonic assault, henchmen
i dont know if i can handle another cd of ambiguous lyrics and nonobvious music
i can feel it comin in the air, if not tonite, then soon
(small nasty a+r man in suity and gelled hare):
but, god lord, you dont mean……
exec:
yes boys, i dunno if the remaining big 3 can take another shocke like that…
those songs….they were so goddamn mellifluous
they were nauseatingly vague
they were stultifyingly amorphous
goddamm it!!
i want those 2
DEAD OR ALIVE
LATER ACROSS TOWN
SCENE INSIDE DUNGEON
sk and jc are being mercilessly subjected to
abbyssmal tripe via hard wired into brain speakers
theyre blasting fuckin’ (insert name of band here)
direct into sks frontal cortexian lobes
jc
jesus, sk cannae take that music in such doses, you’ll frie
his freakin brains!!
fat evil smalmy record exec w/key to vip bathroom + special parking spot:
ha ha this is the end of this dynamic duo…
izzydoor will not be back to plague the mightee konglomerats
nor will their winsome fair set people free from the shackles of the gossip rags
from enthrallment with empty celebrity
ignoring the great achievements of man
we will focus the proletariat
on meateating
on hounding their celebrities
on sports
on cigarettes
on booze
on preskription fuckin drugs baybee
here take yer bleatin’ valium, ya little sucker…
and then the big 3 ‘ll become the big 2
and then….
guess what…..?
yes, thats right, people
the bigge 1
THE BIG ONE
READ AS
THE ONLY ONE
and then we’ll eliminate all that messy variety y’all
got now
and you’ll have to listen to (insert name of pea brains here)
and (insert name of schmaltzy gurly here)
and(insert name of boozy gruff old shouter here)
and (insert name of pale pommy indy fops here)
and…..
oh mi god
sk and jc have escaped during mah mono log
jesus
perhaps the world aint seen the last of izzydaur aftah all…
SCENE KH LUXURY MOBILE REC UNIT
SOMEWHERE IN BAHAMAS)
sk
pass me another pina colada jc
and fire that sucker up
i feel an iconoclastic monster abrewin’ in my head….

(HUSKY VOICEOVER MANNE)
yes, thats right, folks
wherever ever
you find true rock
and true roll
and the need for
a coupla dudes with neat riffs
and ye olde koole lyrics
there yondah shall ye find
IZZYDOOR # 2
coming soon
and this time
its personal!!!

18 Responses to “love is the shadow that darkens the wine”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2005 at 10:42 pm #

    sk,
    Yer a fucking loonatik, yer an englishman, yer a rock yobbo but quite often yer a very funny, giving & talented pillar that’s givin however many people all sorts of joy over time so happy new year to you mah man & keep on keeping on.

    Dutch Pierre

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2005 at 11:07 pm #

    Your mention of Izzydoor made me check out the CD. I must say that the Untitled track is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. Love the blog–I check it every day. Keep the music coming…The Church and The Bunnymen are the only bands keeping me going.

    S.H.

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2005 at 11:11 pm #

    From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is the art of the musician. From the point of view of feeling, the actor’s craft is the type. All art is at once surface and symbol.
    Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their peril. It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors. Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the artist is in accord with himself. We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.

    All art is quite useless.

    OSCAR WILDE

  4. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 21 December 2005 at 11:17 pm #

    No crees que Jeffrey se va a enojar porque le llamaste enanito?

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 December 2005 at 11:41 pm #

    SK(copyright c)

    Tis wundafool 2 been to-old of nutha izzydoor,

    tanks

    DH

  6. avatar
    Mr. Ricky | 21 December 2005 at 11:52 pm #

    I’ve been LOVING your diary, Steve!
    Nothing quite like a daily fix of The Ol’ Kilbey Psyche!
    Thanks so much for sharing!!!

    BIG LOVE to you and the family from sunny (er…rainy) San Francisco!!!

    Ciao!
    Mr.Ricky 😉

  7. avatar
    subcultureofone | 22 December 2005 at 12:05 am #

    more! more!
    isidore!
    i just knew y’all would escape
    ‘cause i’ve heard that
    when sk was just a lad
    he was bitten
    by a radioactive bass
    giving him special
    rock n roll superpowers
    so roll us up a
    bahamian wrapshady
    and rock us on out of here

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 December 2005 at 12:58 am #

    Greetings from Perth, the city time and the church forgot.
    Come back soon.
    MH

  9. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 22 December 2005 at 3:38 am #

    well done
    poet laureate
    enjoyed the tale of two

  10. avatar
    esskayer | 22 December 2005 at 5:18 am #

    They are giving record deals to 14 year old girls with no talent or musical ability whatsoever. Goddam this bastard universe. Thee olde Kilbster must save the day.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 December 2005 at 6:06 am #

    While on the subject of ‘side projects’, another Jack Frost would be a wonderful thing too, nay?
    :-}

  12. avatar
    ade | 22 December 2005 at 6:45 am #

    So SK, what’s it to be for your Chrissie present?
    Signed copy of Jet
    or
    signed copy of Missy Higs?
    Or all of the above? 😉

  13. avatar
    Carl G | 22 December 2005 at 9:42 am #

    Seems like the awful mechanics of music is makeing you stronger or at least more determined. I am in awe, all I feel is distracted and empty.

  14. avatar
    Ron | 22 December 2005 at 10:34 am #

    Consolation prize-

    Snap
    Crackle
    Pop!

    It’s the sound of breaking contracts.

    From here to eternity……

    And it wouldn’t only be me

    My cd’s
    what can I say
    They do all kinds of things.

    Diamonds and cheeseboards

    There is a difference…

  15. avatar
    CSTCoach | 22 December 2005 at 3:33 pm #

    YEAH!!! There’s still hope in the world if another Isidore album is on the horizon! A second cumming, of sorts 😉

    If I lived a few hours drive south I might be tempted to utter a YEE-HAW! But we in the frigid north don’t shout. We’re too polite. And its too fucking cold.

  16. avatar
    captainmission | 22 December 2005 at 11:24 pm #

    I am not sure if this is the correct forum to ask this special request and i hope that you understand its nature. Jeez I could be transgressing some weird unwritten law involving Artist and fan but i can’t think of a way around it. Well here goes…
    Er Hum…Humbly requests. This time can you release the isadore cd with the extra tracks on first, so i can buy it without having already bought the one minus the extra tracks and then buying the second release for said extra track.
    I rather just give you the cash next time i see ya than some record company, marketing dude who’s imagination stops at the exploitation of artist and adoring public.

  17. avatar
    eek | 22 December 2005 at 11:32 pm #

    Yay!!! More Isidore! Excellent, excellent news. Can I place my order now?

    Love,

    Hollers

    Captainmission: I think I got all the bonus material and I placed a preorder (w/KH) for the first Isi in dec 2003. Or did I miss something else?

  18. avatar
    paula | 23 December 2005 at 1:07 am #

    how sweet it is to be blogged by uyou absolute fooken champy boy !have you guys set a date?wil inspire yours truly to fry up some more of his own anti establishmentarian chooks withno hooks.youve just earned yourself another 1000000000000000 frequent fryer points.loove ya woyk baybi


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