posted on August 19, 2006 at 8:09 am

im sittin’ on the tenth floor of a chicago hotel
the gigs over ages ago
the applause dies down n fades
the people drift away
its raining
the hotel is quite horrible n sleazy
cars beep n bonk in the street
i feel sick
i feel empty
jus’ nothin’
i look in the mirror
a freckly familiar face
thin damp hair stickin’ out
those piercing eyes im so tired of lookin’ back at me
darling muse where are you now?
im alwayshere steven at your fingertips
muse why do i feel like this
steven, you drank a loada booze
you ate no dinner
you did no yoga
you drove 7 hours
you ran around for 2 hours in the hotspotlite
carrying a heavy plank o’ wood
you screamed out ya songs
you got hot n sweaty n giddy n silly
muse i feel a bit awkward now
muse i feel like i want my payoff
i want more than this orrible rheum
n this ringin’ ears
n this sore throat
n this lonesome fuckin’ feelin’
yeah yeah
ok i know im going home on monday
but right now
but right now
all i have muse is you
and youre just no one n nobody either
the rain streaks the dirty window
chicago street lights blur n distort
a fog comes down (over the marine city)
almost 3 in the morning
ha!
big song n dance man
a regular entertainer
w/ show biz in yer blood
rockn roll
so deep inna night it leaves ya stranded high n dry
i feel mortal
i feel olde
i feel vulnerable
dont rush to reassure me
in fact i forbid it
let me hurt n just read it
no advice please
itll be too late by then
if yer really my friends
then lemme cry on yer shoulders
but dont say nothin’
this is the empty side of showbiz
that you gonna get to see
the hollow parts
the bit that accounts fer all that drinkin’ n druggin’
n the crack ups n the suicides n the late nite swims in rivers
miles from home
lonely
tired but not sleepy
hungry but no appetite
disappointed with some intangible….
drums still bang bang bang in me head
noises of fighting and/or fucking coming from other rooms
you think i got it made?
wheres the glamour, baby….
and yet
its damn well under my skin
n just like a drug im hooked on it
and i wanna travel n play
and be a teenager till im fuckin’ sixty
grandad rock!
or what else muse
what else is there to do
get on the pension
be a postman
(i wouldnt mind that actually
put all the mail in the wrong boxes
shake it up a little)
anyway
i think i feel sweet brother sleep approaching
waltzing thru the chicago sky
n into my room
the traffic has almost died away
the occaisional cab hissing thru the puddles
everyone else is at a bar
bars dont work for me
poisonous noisy fuckin’ establishments
chattin’ up some boiler
or some turkey screamin in yer ear bout the footy
but good luck to em
jus’ what they all need
more booze
for their blues
n all the things
which turned us
in to
what we are

70 Responses to “melancholy blog”

  1. avatar
    Letango | 19 August 2006 at 8:14 am #

    if yer really my friends
    then lemme cry on yer shoulders
    but dont say nothin’

    {{{{ }}}}

  2. avatar
    Cameras 4 Eyes | 19 August 2006 at 8:22 am #

    (@)}-`-,–

  3. avatar
    pharaoh | 19 August 2006 at 8:33 am #

    SK,
    haven’t commented in a few weeks, just want to say i’m still here (never left)… reading, listening.

    J.

  4. avatar
    Samosanx | 19 August 2006 at 8:56 am #

    That stumped ’em!

    Hey killer, not sure if this is the right venue or moment, but here’s a seafarers travellin’ ditty I wrote about a pal I used to visit in a place called Balmain.

    It’s called TITANIC, and it is a fine tune as well.

    ——————
    When we sit like this the table ‘tween us full of books and absence
    We’re on deck and cruising, both looking forward, and inward, inward and forward

    Next day I’m still on holiday
    Basking in your backyard still creaking, still ill and creaking

    At breakfast you’re the champion, of toast and exotic fruits
    You’re colours, All your colours

    You gaze, I get seasick,
    All night I turned and tumbled
    Awkward, backwards and forwards,

    Later I’m recovered
    Disembark but mind still churning awkward, backwards and forwards

    But you’re the Captain an never get off,
    Your Titanic
    Your Titanic,
    You’re Titanic

    ——————–
    love, peace, wind, home soon

  5. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 19 August 2006 at 8:59 am #

    Steve, I am silent.
    Here is my shoulder.

  6. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 19 August 2006 at 9:17 am #

    My 7 year-old asked me as I was removing head lice from her hair today, “Did God make everything?

    I said “Yes.”

    “So God made head lice?”

    “Yes.” I replied.

    “Then God is mean.”

    “Umm, yeah!”

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 9:18 am #

    “or what else muse
    what else is there to do”

    You’re doing it here, friend.

    No advice, no reassurance…just truth.

    This blog is way better than most song lyrics.

    I’ll shutup now 🙂

  8. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 19 August 2006 at 9:43 am #

    amen brother…

  9. avatar
    Jazz your gentle friend | 19 August 2006 at 9:45 am #

    Booze and xanax just ain’t yer bag man, sounds like Jazz works well though!

  10. avatar
    lorrain | 19 August 2006 at 9:56 am #

    I have reminiscence of Colombus and After Everything, must be no coincidence…
    Ask Marty where the glamour is ! Under his shoe that’s what he’ll tell you !
    Compassion.

  11. avatar
    Padders | 19 August 2006 at 10:55 am #

    Come on guys,

    the tours nearly over and its our duty to get SK into the top ten before he gets back to sydney.

    Toady i’m gonna tour the internet cafe’s of london voting on every PC.

    Padders

    PS if it rains i may have a re-think !

  12. avatar
    Padders | 19 August 2006 at 10:56 am #

    I don’t know who toady is the above post but i’ve a feeling he’s a mispelt Today !

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 11:00 am #

    sweet man,

    *heart*
    *peace*
    *joy*
    *tears*
    *hugs in the rain*

    home soon and children in your arms.

    xo
    Mary, back in Philadelphia

  14. avatar
    veleska1970 | 19 August 2006 at 11:02 am #

    ok, i won’t say anything…..i’ll just send some hugs your way…..

    lotza love….

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 11:07 am #

    Over the past couple years I had thought about giving up on making music altogether…until I saw the Church in concert in Detroit.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 11:13 am #

    Hi Steve,

    I just got back from Adelaide last night after two nights without sleep and a two hour drive back home after getting into Perth. Absolutely rooted! Slept got up, read the paper, toast and vegemite, shopped, cleaned usual shit that a single bloke does when his youngest daughter lives with him, came home opened a bottle of four sisters SSB, had an adjustment and sat down to read your blog after a couples of days of not reading it.

    I read sad blog and started thinking “unhappy stoned hippie living in fairyland”. I read more and started crying, don’t really know why but a really strong sense of your decency and humanity hit me like a ton of bricks.

    More srength to you Mr. Kilbey and your family and loved ones. I’ve loved, married, divorced, engaged, lost engaged to cancer and trouble from my ex with my girls blah blah etc. I’ve seen a bit of life and somehow reading your blog and hearing about MWP, TP, PK and yourself, your tours, cd releases, seeing the crunch live satisfies a space, a hunger for credible, well crafted music from people that care about what they do.

    I’m dribbling Steve, but thanks. I felt really close to where you were coming from.

    Love Celticat

  17. avatar
    Gareth,Notts | 19 August 2006 at 11:34 am #

    aha!shitty hangover,join the club my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. avatar
    sue cee | 19 August 2006 at 12:14 pm #

    wow then, the song I put on myspace today was very appropriate!

  19. avatar
    fantasticandy | 19 August 2006 at 12:15 pm #

    hell,steve—i AM a postman!!!!!!!me and the dudes would love to swap places for a day! p.s: no.16 now(21st century blogstar man)…..cheers,andy.

  20. avatar
    mike a | 19 August 2006 at 1:26 pm #

    Cheer up sk, you’re in the windy city!! I guess we all have our sad moments. Excellent performance last night, I would have to say it was the best concert I’ve ever seen. My wife even said as we were leaving, “that sk is really funny!” And the audience didn’t talk while you were playing – I think we deserve an A+!!!

  21. avatar
    Brad | 19 August 2006 at 1:49 pm #

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 1:51 pm #

    sk,
    at least you don’t work in a tin mine. you know it could be worse. you could be a villager on the slopes of an angry volcano in ecuador or……you could be……………

    i’ll shut up too now

  23. avatar
    robert madore | 19 August 2006 at 2:09 pm #

    There’s something about hearing exquisite melody’s in your head and feeling that charge up the spine when the right chords fit or the way tears just come when you hear the perfect, beautiful, melancholy song…These are things that make you feel completely separate from 98% of the rest.

    You’d never be able to write those achingly beautiful tunes unless you felt that loneliness. It’s in every one of your songs.

    Now, separation and loneliness, that has to do with the ‘ol intellect…OUR biggest problem here.

  24. avatar
    lizardlizard81 | 19 August 2006 at 2:19 pm #

    Become a postman… it could be the key to world peace: switch everyones’ mail around and then we all have to get out and meet each other to get our mail sorted out, we all make human, personal connections with each other and there’s no more hate or wars because we all made friends trading mail w/ each other… and it would all be because of you. Hooray!!!

    🙂

  25. avatar
    General Catz | 19 August 2006 at 2:22 pm #

    Steve, thanks for last nite at the Park West. Your charm and grace completely won me over. The set was excellent (i seem to be lucking out in that category – first Tempe, now Chicago). Did we get 3 encores? I was so wrapped up in the whole thing i don’t recall.

    I also want to extend many hugs and thanks to Petra and Tiare for their conduct above and beyond the call of duty. I hope they realize how appreciated they are!

    See you tonite in Milwaukee.

    (p.s…. for MWP… it was TWENTY-ONE years ago!)

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 2:47 pm #

    windy city.. do you know why it is called the windy city ? Not all the wind blowing, it has something to do with windbag politicians!

  27. avatar
    JawsOfJosh | 19 August 2006 at 2:57 pm #

    Hi Steve,

    Too bad the Chicago gig sent you back to the hotel feeling a bit dry north of the eyebrows, but the gig sent me home feeling elated and refreshed. It was another fantastic Church show. I’ve never seen you so animated before! Was that really a bit of pelvic thrusting I witnessed during “Block”? It was the first time I ever attended a concert by myself (my wifey thinks you sound too spooky: I cook dinner alone when the Church fills the kitchen). Why not toss “Old Flame” and “Fly” into the setlist? They’re pretty, angelic, and brief in length. Oh sorry, you can tell me to f**k off now.

    Thank you thank you thank you (once again) for loading up the Fenders, Takamines and Mapex drums and coming back to America.

    I love you,

    Josh

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 3:09 pm #

    there’s a neighborhood bar on my corner
    i hear em every night
    i’ve never gone in there…..never will
    don’t wanna tell em why they are really there
    i get invited to parties…..i never go
    don’t wanna tell em what they already know

    i go and see a certain rocka star before a show
    wanna tell him that certain song of his that he dislikes so much gave me comfort after my little sister never made it home in 88
    wanna tell him, many years ago, i lost my best friend too
    but i don’t
    wanna tell him my wife and i only eat veggies too
    but i don’t……
    don’t wanna come off sounding like some sycophant

    wanna tell him were all just a manifestation of a sacred vibrational form of energy
    he probably already knows…..
    wanna tell him about all those dreams i had that came true…but i don’t
    he’s probably had em too

    wanna tell the girl backstage that just because she can’t operate a deeveedee playa doesn’t make her pathetic
    and that she’s beautiful whether she sees it or not

    wanna tell the rocka star how i’m not easily impressed
    how if vishnu/buddha/christ/etc all came back
    i wouldn’t bother reaching for a camera or autograph book
    because as i see it…we are all the same…all one
    buying into this grand illusion of separation
    so in essence…it’s all just reflections
    he probably already knows that too

    wanna tell him how when all the gazillions roll in
    i just wanna give it all away
    i really do have everything i need
    and there are so many who don’t
    tell him of abundance and why we cry
    how the mayans said we are currently going from 4 to 5
    readying the slingshot for goliath
    but i don’t

    and after the show i wanna walk up and thank him and tell him how he reminds me of the brother i never had
    and thank him for his written words and how he’s giving people inspiration playing his role of reluctant messiah having forgot long ago of his acceptance of this plight
    like enki whispering at the wall…..
    but i don’t

    -Craig-

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 3:10 pm #

    sip this Lilac wine
    put the load right on me
    yu guys did a hell of show
    m’lady is in full adoration of yu ole rockers
    We love ya sk
    It aint easy luggin it all around
    it’llbe over soon

    have a good time tonight
    take your meditations
    easy now….

    jaime a. r…

  30. avatar
    gavgams | 19 August 2006 at 3:12 pm #

    Sk, you spoke of Jeff B in previous posts but also have you heard Cat Power and The Pernice Bros? Great voices too.

    I’ve been listening to Beck (sea change) also. In my mind I first heard his muse about the same time as Jeff B and thought the latter superior, but that’s turned around. Tracks 2&4 and more on Sea Change are just corkers. Maybe not the ultra exceptional voice but great songwriting. Pulls it off in so many styles, too.

    Anyway, we all love you, man, – for who you are.

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 3:16 pm #

    Oh yeah ANYONE GOING TO THE MILWKEE SHOW
    FROM CHICAGO AND HAS ROOM FOR A CHURCH GO’ER
    WOULD LOVE A RIDE LET ME KNOW, POLITE AND SWEET…
    773-450-4565… jaime….

  32. avatar
    mallory | 19 August 2006 at 3:33 pm #

    breathe and sleep – that’s all you can do on days/nights like this..

  33. avatar
    baby | 19 August 2006 at 3:37 pm #

    no advice
    just being again
    being
    being
    being

    see you around, brother

  34. avatar
    Demeter | 19 August 2006 at 3:40 pm #

    candy for breakfast when no one is looking always is fun.

  35. avatar
    Malika | 19 August 2006 at 3:53 pm #

    How can we be insensitive to what you say ?…
    I want to tell you how understanding I am.
    Once again, I know so well
    The meaning of the word “melancholy”…
    But it’s good to think
    That everything is gonna be ok,
    Sometimes.
    Especially if you’re often surrounded
    With lots of nice and kind people.

    I know this will sound cliché but
    Cheer up,

    Malika

  36. avatar
    DJK082067 | 19 August 2006 at 3:56 pm #

    Wow…its 8:30 am after the Chicago show at the Park West last Night/(this morning??) Feels like I just walked in the door at home with my precious bride (still sleepin off the magic and also the goose n cranberry) I , myself naturally get up early, and bless this day, have yet to feel the aftershock of my consumption. My entry will not consist of poetry,blah blah blah, or other blanter we all have been witness to these last months enjoying SK’s creation and responses. SOOOOO….
    Reality Begins: My darling Laura $$ these tix as a B-Day present for us to enjoy(B-Day=0820 to be precise). So diligently made dinner rsvp at the “Geja Cafe” just 30 or so feet west of the venue at 340 W. Armitage ( a fuunnnddduuuu eatery that is elegant, a little uppity, and some what $$$ but well worth the $$$ ) Called a major taxi co. so many hrs. B4 show to ensure prompt arrival. They blew us off and we had to flippity-flop thru a phonebook tryin to get to our rsvp. They finally sent us our ride 45 min. late, so we had to rearrange our rsvp. time w/ the Cafe and they were more than accomadating (see…another positive endorsement and I dont even work for them) We told the waiter to “quicken it up” because fondue could take hrs if you had the time (we didn’t). We met a couple so properly dressed for this cafe (we looked like 40 year old stoners headed to a rock concert…my god…that is what we are) shared a little small talk (they too were going to the show) and off we went. Aprox. 30 feet east is the Park West so hailing a cab was out of the question (seein our recent taxi problems) so we decided to take a risk and walk that long distance(took all of 45 seconds). After entering the Park West I became confused, seein that I have witnessed many a show there, oddly enough there were rolls of tables and chairs placed vertically from the stage point ranging 20-30 feet outward across the dance floor. So…this is a sit down show??? We found excellent seats nearly dead center and aprox. 15 feet from the stage. The crowd filed in nicely and Laura and I met the nicest newlyweds (congrats… 06/10/06) and for the sake of not being sued mechanically or electronically, we’ll call them Bridget n Kurt. Oh to be that so much in love is easy on the eyes. Laura and I have been going strong since 05/2000 and are still crazy in love, but not “newlywed love” which fits a totally different catagory. Then low and behold another couple joins us. For the same sake of not gettin sued we will alias them as …Ben n Krystyna (who are soon to be married..mant congrats to them and the best of luck, health,and happiness). As conversation pours (unlike our confused waitress who had the entire “huge” section to herself and math was not one of her strong points (honey..$5 + $8.5 =$13.5 not..$11.5, so she either figured it all out (the whole math thing) or is still washing glasses to pay for her mistakes..take a moment and pray 4 her…..Movin on…The newlies were there to see Rob Dickinson (formerly of CW) because it was their wedding song and they were not 2 familiar w/ the gospel. I promised to burn them my own 2 volume “best of” and mail it to them and as a LEO, I keep all my promises. On to the other couple, to my surprise Laura and I were sitting w/ “Stealthblue” of this extended BLOG family and his lovely fiancee Krystyna (most of the enjoyable comments and opinions have been created by “SB” during this whole blog experience created by SK, especially the COSTCO day I will always laugh when I hear UTMW (I did them same thind once at a BestBuy when I found “Enjoy the Silence” by DM on a station and managed to get 5-6 displays playin it quite loudly B4 I was shut down as a temp DJ. It was such a pleasure to share blog stories, musical tastes, and favorite church songs (apparently “mistress” from P=A is a consensus favorite, sadly the mates played nothing from P=A). I had all my new friends sign the back of the liner sleeve of P=A to always remember this/that night. (THANK YOU Ben,Krys,Bridget,Kurt, and my beautiful wife Laura !!) Rob Dickinson was an amazing opening act who could front any show. He, all alone, sat on stage and powered thru a set that was aprox. 45 min. I now have become a huge fan (my wife also may have formed a secret crush) and after his performance he was open to all in the lobby and talked and signed like a true gentleman. I would have to say meeting and watching many an artist and pre/post concert meets that this was the most real one. Rob, you are a real person and some fame and fortune has not changed you, I wish you much success in all your future endeavors and your solo project. Then the show began.. The Church opened w/ “Block” from “Uninvited…” and I was amazed how powerfull it came across acoustically. The entire show was an acoustic performance w/ so many highlights to mention. Metropolis,Grind,UTMW,Tristesse, along w/ Easy and She’ll come back…from the new cd were amazing (they appeared to have some sound difficulties but were easily corrected,trust me I have seen bands leave the stage over a mike issue). Peter is the most underrated musician of ours/any generation. Marty is so incredible, I would not want to swell his cranium that much but I have seen Gilmore, Edge, many times live and they hold nothing next to you. F*in INCREDIBLE and great singing on the few choice cuts that you were the lead. Now to SK…Yor humor was an experience upon itself. That little ‘Jack Benny+ bizarre woman’ in the audience was priceless. It bothered all of us that she had to spew out a comment or a blah blah after every song. You stood your ground and playfully kept her at bay. Brilliant!!!! Your playin was and always has been one of the great bassists ever, and to sing while pounding away on that Fender is a gift upon itself. I read in past blog comments that people thought you seemed uncomfortable singing w/ thee old bass not in your hands. I TOTALLY disagree and I hope “Stealthblue” agrees w/ me. That is when all your true emotions poured out thru those songs and your vocal range was never in doubt..you old hippee!! Two encores…1st time they ever played “unguarded moment” in Chicago, and along w/ Rob Dickinson joining them on stage for “Invisible” (very powerful !!!) But…the musical highlight of the night was the jazzy version of “Reptile” which you have not played often on this leg of the tour. That was my B-Day prez. Along w/ meeting 2 incredible couples. SHOWS OVER !!! the poorly trained and very disrespectful employees crammed us all out the doors so quickly that you barely had time to right yourself (and your bladder). After the masses exited, Laura, myself,and Ben n Krystyna decided to hang around outside, grab a smoke or 2 and just by chance…maybe run into one of the mates. The fog and drizzle was not a bother because the time shared of conversations from music to our cats filled the evening air. Like ninjas in the night we stayed on the side of the building. Just hangin and talkin away. It is such a gift to meet new people and beleive that they are REAL and genuine. And, here is hoping to a long and lasting friendship …cheers!!!… Then the moment came, I noticed Rob straying outside in front of the main doors to puff away and hurried Ben,Krys, and Laura around the corner to start up a conversation (granted the show has now been over for over 45 minutes by now and most souls are off to dreamland and we may seem like stalkers) Rob was accomadating and a true gentleman. (probably got my wifes motor goin again which was good for me later if u get the drift). He was so kind to ask SK to come out and join us for a small chat w/ some pix (he asked gracefully if he could put his arm around my wife, what a gentleman…I was like…shit squeeze her for all I care…You took time out of your long,hot,hectic night to hang w/ us for a few minutes (over an hour after the show ended) and share some tidbits about your next show up in Milwaukee and the tour end on my B-day (Sunday 08/20)in San Fran. Than it is off to home and your loving ,anxious awaiting family. Thanks for signing my “Gold Afternoon…” inner cd sleeve and how we commented that was 16 years ago but we are all still here enjoying life. I wish you the best and safe health and travels. It was a blessing to spend time watching you perform and the quiet conversation outside w/ my newly found friends also was a memory not to be forgotten. And Ben, thought you would have blogged on already by now so like to hear your excuse how I beat you to it 🙂
    I will be talking to you soon and good luck w/ your project “StealthBlue” and your nuptials w/ the lovely Krystyna (who was thirsting for H20…nice job waitress, 20 minutes to get water when you can just crack a bottle or turn on the knob thats blue or says cold, hate to see if poor Krys was trapped in a desert w/ you !!!)
    Best B-Day ever(except for the 1st one I guess which brought me here) Love you all and enjoy life.
    DJK

  37. avatar
    mike a | 19 August 2006 at 4:03 pm #

    If anyone’s interested, I posted a review of The Church’s Chicago performance on:

    http://blog.myspace.com/mikeanderson70

  38. avatar
    Finn | 19 August 2006 at 4:21 pm #

    Well, you may be feeling melancholy, but you came across like a comedian and a performer last night. The show was great. I have to mention (as previous posters about previous shows have) that Tim Prowles drumming is killer. He really propelled the show.

    I had the unfortunate privelege of sitting a few feet in front of your most drunken, biggest lady fan, and while she could be kinda irritating, I mostly felt bad for her. Is there really one of these ladies in every town? Got to briefly meet MWP, shook his hand. Great pleasure, cool that the guy decided to hang out at the merch table for so long before the show. Sorry about dinner and thanks for the Unguarded Moment. Your sad blog from the other day really agreed with me. I spent the last week camping under the stars in beautiful upper Michigan, and still the melancholy is there. It’s just part of it I guess. Sadness, happiness. One can’t exist without the other, I guess.
    -Finn

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 4:40 pm #

    ‘Dont stop feeling your hearts voice,
    you always had a choice,
    lucky joe you bleed.
    So give,
    All that you can,
    lucky man, you are what you need.
    You are what you need.’
    Allen
    Galveston TX

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 4:54 pm #

    DJK:
    That was awesome! Thanks and I’ll be celebrating your birthday on the 20th in SF, yay!
    Esteban: you don’t have to say a word.

    Love you all.
    Cecilia
    PS: I forgot to make the lights flicker!

  41. avatar
    Thomas Irvin | 19 August 2006 at 4:58 pm #

    Maybe I’m not the first person to say this, but I just love it when your lyrics appear in your blog. Makes me say, “Oh, hey, he knows that song, too.” Then of course I realize that he wrote that song, but for tiny moment, the recognition hits before the source is identified, and gives me a little mental jump.

    Speaking of which, the other day I was reading a review of the new Superman movie in which the writer wrote the phrase, “Back in Metropolis…” That made me smile, too.

  42. avatar
    cold steel heart 8 | 19 August 2006 at 5:47 pm #

    if you’re coming
    to san francisco
    be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
    if you’re leaving from san francisco
    be sure to take one last breath of that sweet summer air
    we’re all waiting in san francisco
    for the love we want to share
    with you steve and the band
    see you tommorow

  43. avatar
    Joe Burns | 19 August 2006 at 5:57 pm #

    Take heart ye olde rocker. That empty feeling you have is because you poured all your heart and soul into the audience at Park West.

    And for that I thank you.

    Don’t worry, your muse will fill up your well again when you aren’t looking, and soon that empty feeling will be replaced by all the glamour you need.

    I’ve been in the audience for some 20 years now Steve. A couple thoughts: It’s great to see you have FUN on stage. You may have been a little manic, goofy and inebriated last night, but though that we felt your joy in making music through the incredible chemistry you share with MWP, PK & TP.

    AS for TP – please slap him on the back and thank him for the increible burst of creative energy he’s brought to the Church. Wow! What a consumate and talented musician he is!

    I won’t blather on and on here…. but I have to say thank you for playing Invisible (best Church song in years – except maybe Night Sequence). The Elizabethan Epic Grind was one of my other highlights of the night. And as for that version of Reptile at the end… I loved it. But I’d call it more “swing” than “jazz”… Dare I say I could hear some sultry chanteuse singing it… something a’la “Fever”?

    Rock On Steve. See you on the next time around

  44. avatar
    kellym | 19 August 2006 at 6:08 pm #

    yes, there are moments/ hours like that late night emptiness, but there are moments that redeem you —
    like last night.
    Driving towards San Francisco at dusk, pop in “Univited…” and ‘Block’ melds seemlessly with the fog thickly rolling in across the bay in long fast swirly blue streaks and the forward movement of the car, driving into it.
    The last of the sunset–a magnificent glowing orange–peeks out from the under the thickening fog.
    More fog, more movement, more music.
    One of those perfect transcending moments. Thank you.

    Thanks, too, for remembering/honoring Grant this tour. We miss him, too.

    We’re waiting for you in SF — tomorrow–and will send you home hopefully somewhat serene and with lots of love.

    gracias por todo,
    Kelly

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 6:27 pm #

    have summore gorecki…

    Doodles, Luv’, Peace n Jazz 2 u, Mr. K.
    cracka

  46. avatar
    Melquiades | 19 August 2006 at 6:28 pm #

    bleed on brother. such a windstorm we all are, eh?

  47. avatar
    Melquiades | 19 August 2006 at 6:31 pm #

    Hey, any chance you might be dropping into rehoboth on your way out?

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 7:04 pm #

    Steve,

    Thank you for bringing the band back to the U.S. The concert in St. Pete was amazing. Safe travels home.

    Boe

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 7:12 pm #

    I caught your show in Indianapolis — LOVED it, thank you.

    xo
    Nicole

  50. avatar
    Renee | 19 August 2006 at 7:18 pm #

    Mark Strand – The Remains

    I empty myself of the names of others. I empty my pockets.
    I empty my shoes and leave them beside the road.
    At night I turn back the clocks;
    I open the family album and look at myself as a boy.

    What good does it do? The hours have done their job.
    I say my own name. I say goodbye.
    The words follow each other downwind.
    I love my wife but send her away.

    My parents rise out of their thrones
    into the milky rooms of clouds. How can I sing?
    Time tells me what I am. I change and I am the same.
    I empty myself of my life and my life remains.

    melancholia, a persistent little bugger
    insinuating its way inside like a parasitic worm
    gorging itself,
    till its drained our
    energy and emotions
    leaving us empty and lifeless

    Is there no remedy?

  51. avatar
    tim | 19 August 2006 at 7:22 pm #

    It hurts a little to read such a melancholy blog after one of the greatest gigs in Church history.

    I’ll be in Milwaukee tonight. Perhaps the show will be terrible, but you’ll tell us how happy you are.

  52. avatar
    stealthblue | 19 August 2006 at 7:52 pm #

    Howdy-Ho, Folks! I’m up…finally. I had such a wonderful night that when I got home I could not sleep for the life of me. I usually am a night owl anyway. I was so pumped that I had a smoke, cracked open a beer, went upstairs and started strumming my little beat-up Yamaha acoustic, then finished watching the Blues Brothers (ie: yesterday’s reference) Went to bed at 5:30 a.m.!! Ouch…head hurts. oh, ibuprofen, where are you?? (be right back)

    First of all…Steve, I can only imagine it is pretty draining after spending so MUCH energy on stage and dealing with so many people in the “biz” and what not, etc., being away from home …EVERYTHING. But you know you love it, it’s so obvious this is what you simply do. All that goes with it is not always bliss, but you make it seem that way…which is a good thing. Truthfully told, you really give us the low-down on so much of the behind-the-scenes that most people hide. So sorry to hear that was your experience in Chicago. I am convinced that the weather had something to do with it. The day before was fucking gorgeous. It seemed like you really enjoyed yourself, and then have to go back to that shit hotel and suffer through that, hearing someone boxing/shagging! You are right, though, you do deserve more of the “glamour” that should be associated with being such an endearing performer and true artist. Thankfully, all of your world-wide exposure has kept you very, very real and your true friends and now musical/blog family REALLY appreciate it. If you remember, last night I, along with my bride to be Krystyna and our new friends DJK and his lovely wife Laura had the distinct PLEASURE of actually, finally, REALLY meeting YOU…the one and only SK. I know you meet a lot of folks, and I would imagine that some stand out more than others to you, but regardless, that meeting was a dream come true…though oddly enough, if felt like I had known you for ages. You are a kindred spirit. Rob D. (a true gentleman) was extremely gracious enough to drag you out from the venue (as we were “kindly” escorted out of the joint) and have you join us for a few very appreciated minutes. It was nice to see Rob again, and this time my girl and I were able to talk with him for a spell. In fact, we decided to use “Oceans” as our wedding song! I was feeling so EMPTY and disappointed that I was not going to get a chance to talk with you after all these years. If it weren’t for Krystyna asking Rob if it was possible to find you and bring you out for a quick visit, we wouldn’t have had that chance. Actually I think she was willing to do whatever it took for me to get a quick photo with SK because otherwise she would have had to deal with my whining!! 🙂 ( That staff really fucked me off at the venue, and had no compassion for a long-time student trying to just meet his mentor) It would have been nice to say hello to the rest of the band, but they were busy packing up…EVERYTHING. (Thus the GLAMOUR) So, MOST SINCERELY, thank you for those moments of time and humouring us and leaving your dollop on my “Dabble” (hey…I bet I am the only one with a “Dolloped Dabble”)

    So, pretty much DJK said it all. The show was indeed awesome, although I noticed that at times some of the crowd were not sure what to think about some of the renditions of the songs, mainly because they maybe thought it was going to be a full-on electric show and there are certain nuances you just cannot achieve while playing acoustic. It was actually a pleasant experience noticing some of the rawness of certain tunes, a bit more pure. I love that too, sometimes I get tired of cracking electric and just want to hear the ring of a well-tuned acoustic. Plus it makes me realize how truly excellent the band is when they can sound just as big as the record, only stripped down. I guess I feel sorry for anyone who has never experienced these guys’ “electric” set, but to be able to pull off that kind of level of sound with just the bare basics…that is professionalism and pure artistry. As always, Marty was on fire and I could never think of anyone else stage-left in the line-up. Marty is Marty, thank God. I didn’t get to say hi to him this time, but have met him several other times and it is always a pleasure. Then, there’s Peter Koppes, a true gem. Watching this guy play…I can’t even put it into words…mind-blowing maybe? I would have to agree that he has to be the most under-rated players of our time…and he plays EVERYTHING so fucking well, just solid and he seemed like he was in good spirits. His vocal mic could have been tweaked up a bit more, but I wasn’t sure if the front of house sound was being engineered by a local or a roving sound guy who just didn’t know the sound of the band. What I could hear though the muddiness was pretty nice. Peter does have a pleasant voice, as does Tim. I have to say there were a few times that I just wanted to jump up on stage and help out with some backing vocals, only because there were moments were on certain songs you could hear a part (on a recorded version-like a Kilbey or Willson-Piper falsetto or whatever)and it wasn’t there! I was singing along, but I couldn’t help but notice how many of the audience DIDN’T know the songs. Hope that doesn’t sound cocky, but it would have been my absolute pleasure and honor. Now, Tim P….holy shit, as always this guy is a powerhouse behind the kit, fucking steady as a Swiss clock and just plain solid. There is no doubt that we were blessed by some really powerful musicians and generally just good guys. Plus, they had one of the roadies (a cute little girl, forgot her name) help them out on Providence. In fact she played the main guitar part on the twelve string…great job. So, overall, a beautiful show, despite some minor gripes on stage etc. I think they had a few sound issues and played it off really cool. In fact, this just goes to show you how gracious this band is; after being on the road all these years, and setting up in venues all over the world, staying in many different kinds of accomodations, personal issues among the group (all bands have them), dealing with various audiences, just EVERYTHING that goes along with being in a band…they still manage to do it with a smile. I noticed a few “tense” moments between them and as they exited the first time, there was an air of…disappointment? But they managed to come back out and give us their encoreS…3 in fact. All this was done with smiles and you could tell that despite all of the before mentioned, that the band still loves eachother, and loves their audience.

    It was a beautiful evening, despite the shitty weather. It was just quite peculiar how the universe brought Krystyna and I to that very table at that very time only to meet two very nice couples; DJK and Laura, and Kurt and Bridget (HUGE Congratulations on your baby) Also, DJK, don’t know if you though about it, but it is funny that we both took off work just to prepare for the show! I really enjoyed meeting you guys and it was just too funny that we were able to share that moment together.

    Well, that’s it for now. Peace and love to everyone. SK, hang in there, pal, you’re almost home. Get re-charged and do some more later. You know as musicians, we are complelled to do this, it’s just like that. Hope to see you soon and please keep us posted. I know you and the guys are so tired, I can see behind all the smile and quips that you all just need some rest. Nevertheless, we appreciate all you do. I also want you to know that I honestly love you guys like brothers. Travel well, make it home safe and sound. Steve, Marty, Pete, Tim, and Rob, all the best to you guys always. Thanks again for the show. Everyone else reading this, cheers to you all as well. Let love prevail…
    BV

  53. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 8:22 pm #

    sk,
    everytime i hear your voice, it’s like hearing your long-lost best friend.

    r.

  54. avatar
    mike a | 19 August 2006 at 8:22 pm #

    Finn,

    I was sitting down the row from the Church’s biggest lady fan – she had a little too much to drink – but it was all fun!! She did love SK though!!

  55. avatar
    Trickster | 19 August 2006 at 9:03 pm #

  56. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 9:30 pm #

    wow…it seems to me what you have SK is a hybrid case of end of the tour and the foggy chicago blues…doesn’t change the fact that is was the best church show i have ever seen. Definitely the first time i have seen you jump around and strut more than MWP. Hence the “you’ve gone glam rock” statement from marty. positive feedback? do you really need any? pure chance, all i know, 0408, day 5 all sounded fresh and lush… this coming from the guy that yelled once for ricochet(what was i thinking) i have to confess that i have changed the words from buffalo to chicago while playing guitar around the bonfire warming my heart and soul on these wrongfully cold chicago nights… NO ONE SINGS IT(and plays bass)LIKE YOU STEVE-O…get that that through your beautifully, lonely, hotel-dwelling head of yours. Thanks for all of the years of inspired creativity and when you come back to chicago i,ll yell for ricochet again. chicagojeff

  57. avatar
    aperus | 19 August 2006 at 10:23 pm #

    Hey Finn! Jane and I sat next to you at the Chicago show. Sorry we didn’t stick around to say goodbye. We enjoyed meeting you and talking. I had such a hard time relaxing after the drive and parking before the show that I needed to stand up and move around…

    Well, the Church in Ferndale really did it for me. That show will probably become Church legend. Best concert I’ve seen in 20 years. But Chicago definitely had its moments.

    I thought the lady in the audience added that unpredictable element you can either fight or roll with – I’m amazed how well Steve worked with it. Rather than slip into rudeness, he used humor and warmth and I found the interchanges to be quite amusing. Yeah, she was over the top. But it was still kind of fun. Spirit was still talking to spirit…

    We drove through hours of heavy rain to get back to Kalamazoo. It was 5:00am by time we got home. Jane and I tried to pick our favorite songs: All I Know, 0408, Day 5, New Season, Unguarded Moment, Providence.

    Hmmm… I think we all carry the seeds of enlightenment with us and all have the potential to “wake up”. Clouds obscure the sun that’s always shining beneath. In Steve’s case, I think he’s been leaving cryptic clues for himself in his lyrics and working through his existential angst through his craft. Life is being funnelled and reflected upon through the gift of art that has been given him. His subconcious is trying to communicate what he needs to know. Maybe this is all a journey to find what we already know.

    Meta (loving-kindness) to you Steve!

    Peace,

    Brian

  58. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 11:29 pm #

    hey sk

    gotta love the web. sitting here in my kitchen in adelaide with my little boy on my lap, Sunday morning, quiet suburbs, slowly waking up and for a few minutes I travel by thought to that hotel room in the usa…

  59. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 11:30 pm #

    your chicago gig was legendary. you were like paul simonon circa 1979 on the bass guitar, baby. ripping it up, yet still hitting on the subtleties. a “help me” in one hand and a “fuck you” in the other. your comedic timing was spot on and your vox soared throughout. the band transcended me to the upper regions. pk’s new season was amazing. he’s like neil young playing his piano and harmonica. mwp and tp were on fire. rob d was fantastic as well, especially “futureboy” a perfect tune.

    thank you for the brief 2 hr. respite for the turmoil of life. your music transmitted much love and joy to all and that is an honorable thing.

    Lying there in your own world tonight
    Turn off the charm, it’s too damn bright
    you got off light

    abid

  60. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2006 at 11:42 pm #

    When I feel that way Steve I listen to a Tori Amos song called “Winter”….

    *************************

    Snow can wait
    I forgot my mittens
    Wipe my nose
    Get my new boots on
    I get a little warm in my heart
    When I think of winter
    I put my hand in my father’s glove
    I run off
    Where the drifts get deeper
    Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
    I hear a voice
    “Your must learn to stand up for yourself
    Cause I can’t always be around”
    He says
    When you gonna make up your mind
    When you gonna love you as much as I do
    When you gonna make up your mind
    Cause things are gonna change so fast
    All the white horses are still in bed
    I tell you that I’ll always want you near
    You say that things change my dear

    Boys get discovered as winter melts
    Flowers competing for the sun
    Years go by and I’m here still waiting Withering where some
    snowman was
    Mirror mirror where’s the crystal palace
    But I only can see the myself
    Skating around the truth who I am
    But I know dad the ice is getting thin

    When you gonna make up your mind
    When you gonna love you as much as I do
    When you gonna make up your mind
    Cause things are gonna change so fast
    All the white horses are still in bed
    I tell you that I’ll always want you near
    You say that things change my dear

    Hair is grey
    And the fires are burning
    So many dreams
    On the shelf
    You say I wanted you to be proud of me
    I always wanted that myself

    He says
    When you gonna make up your mind
    When you gonna love you as much as I do
    When you gonna make up your mind
    Cause things are gonna change so fast
    All the white horses have gone ahead
    I tell you that I’ll always want you near
    You say that things change
    My dear

    *******************

    Love,
    B

  61. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 August 2006 at 1:28 am #

    Oh sk, I hope you’re feeling better and happier today. I wish there was something I could say or do to put a smile back on that beautiful freckled face of yours. Can you ask your muse to tell us what we can do to change your moody mood sk.

    I can’t wait to actually SEE you and HEAR your voice one day soon, instead of reading this black & white screen!

    Love always,
    Amanda P

  62. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 August 2006 at 1:55 am #

    you’re so beautiful

  63. avatar
    lilya | 20 August 2006 at 2:33 am #

    Steve! no furniture in the hotel, you have to sit on the floor? Now thats what I call a cheap hotel 🙂

  64. avatar
    captainmission | 20 August 2006 at 9:56 am #

    .

  65. avatar
    John Garratt | 21 August 2006 at 12:35 am #

    “noises of fighting and/or fucking coming from other rooms”

    Sounds like my old apartment.

    John

  66. avatar
    mattdavison | 21 August 2006 at 2:25 am #

    Does anyone like or should I say love FOG b side 2 Ripple, or was it Feel…sk THOSE LYRICS ARE UNBELIEVABLE… tHAT bLOG Just made me sing that one as I was reading…..and here we all are in your head Ironic Ha!
    Me and Dutch and Lightfoot are gonna get ya to play in NZ I promise, ya old stuckindamud.

  67. avatar
    Anonymous | 21 August 2006 at 4:51 am #

    Yes, like she said, above.

    You’re still beautiful, bébé
    Nobody can take that away
    You’re still beautiful, bébé
    Even when you fall down that… er… bébé don’t believe what you see.

    😉

    V!

  68. avatar
    tristan | 21 August 2006 at 7:15 am #

    slender lights finding my eyes
    distant drums calling me on
    the sound of hearts -I am you
    I can not say more or less than this

  69. avatar
    bluedahlia | 21 August 2006 at 3:07 pm #

    she said
    people wash toilets for a living
    and we get to dress up in costumes
    and make music
    and jump around
    came into chicago
    four hours in traffic
    numb asssesss
    from kalamazoo
    I prefer detroit
    but chicago lives
    and throbs and thrombo-s
    drippy dirty up and down
    the night we met
    he asked me what music
    do you want to hear?
    I drove his car
    manual transmission girl
    I said whadda ya got
    he said blah blah blah
    the church…
    if i didn’t say
    starfish
    and if he hadn’t said
    blurred crusade
    would we be here today
    after last night
    going home
    to little diego
    and the band bullshit
    and the mixdown
    and the abject poverty
    spent all the money
    really
    all the money
    on weak drinx
    and soggy sandwiches
    and lousy service
    smoking in spite of ourselves
    remembering the unintelligible
    blonde lady
    the kicks and jokes
    the transport into our
    private meeting place
    marty’s hand
    blurred
    and us on our own
    sweet and doomed
    crusade
    together

  70. avatar
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